//------------------------------// // Never Go On a Hunting Trip in Ponyville // Story: The Advisors // by JustAnotherHistoryBuff //------------------------------// Fuck. That was the only word that was going through Bradley's mind as he sat on the stump of a tree... Thinking about the events that had just transpired. It was supposed to be a simple fucking trip down to that fucking forest... And it all went to shit. It all started earlier in the morning when they had just woken up. *** *** *** 14 hours Earlier Everything was peaceful and full of bliss... At least, that was what it was like while he slept in his head. The rest that he got over the night was something extremely well needed after all that he had been through during the past few weeks. And it all came crashing down as soon as morning came... And an uninvited guest had entered his quarters. "Wakey wakey you little bitch." The voice said as Mareclellan attempted to put his pillow over his head. "Get... Out..." He tried to say. "Alright, since you don't want to be cooperative... We'll do this the hard way." The voice responded as the sound of horseshoes entered the room. Suddenly, the sound of a trumpet playing some sort of odd but familiar tune began to blare through Mareclellan's eardrums nearly causing them to burst. But... It did its job and got the disgraced Guard Captain out of his bed. "What the buck was that for?" "That... Was a warning you fucking jackass. When you are told to get up, you get the fuck up!" The voice answered. It didn't take long to figure out who was in his room because as soon as he came to his senses, Mareclellan was looking up at an extremely irate George S Patton. "Wh-what are you doing h-here?" He asked, his blood running cold in the process. "Get your shit, we are leaving in 30 minutes." Was all the man said before walking out of Mareclellan's quarters and slamming the door behind him... leaving the pencil pusher to his own devices. *** *** *** 30 Minutes Later The fields were alive with the sound of.... Horses. It was a cheap joke that Patton tried to play as they all watched the majority of the Royal Guard assemble into a formation to prepare for the first large scale maneuver it was go undertake to see how it would handle doing so before the planned expansions were to take place. The fact that they managed to rally the entirety of the guard without a massive bout of failure was something that was very much remarkable in its own right, but still.... this was more or less the preliminary inspection stage. Soon, they would all be loaded up into train carriages and sent down to the plains around Ponyville as well as the outskirts of the Everfree Forest. Personally, Eisenhower didn't know what the hell all the fuss was about that forest, but given the amount of warnings he was given by his pony counterparts, he was glad that he would be staying in the main headquarters with Von Rundstedt and (regrettably) Montgomery. The others would go follow with the Royal Guard and observe the way that they handle themselves throughout the maneuvers... though the fact that he saw Rommel and Bayerlein loading what looked like shotguns into the sidecar of Rommel's, now fully repaired, motorcycle gave him an odd feeling in the stomach. Watching Patton bring out a hunting rifle case didn't do anything to help the thought of what was going to happen... but for better or worse, Eisenhower decided to simply know nothing. How they got the weapons, he did not wish to know... what they were going to do with the weapons... he only hoped that they would simply go hunting without any trouble. But this was Equestria, and given what they had just witnessed over the past few weeks in the damn castle and barracks... one could only imagine what would happen... *** *** *** 2 Hours Later CRACK A shot rang out in the woods that startled the ponies traversing their plotted course towards their main rally point. Shining Armor could not understand why the humans opted to hunt innocent animals but given they were omnivores... it somewhat made sense. Still, they didn't have to use such a brutal weapon like a shotgun. There were less... bloody, ways of hunting prey. Still though, whatever they were doing in their spare time didn't matter as right now... The military maneuvers meant more than anything so no doubt... They were most likely watching from afar. *** *** *** "God dammit. Fucker moved just as I pulled the trigger." An unhappy George S Patton was nothing to ever get in the way of. But since they were all hunting while waiting for the royal guard to reach their rally point, there was not a whole lot of anger. "Maybe if you'd just take your time and actually keep quiet, the bird wouldn't flown away Georgie." Bradley replied as he too scanned the sky for any prey. "Well... Its been a few decades so give me a break Brad." Patton replied throwing Bradley a quick glare as he reloaded his shotgun. "That advise is not that bad actually. Though there are many more things to hunting than simply keeping quiet so your prey does not hear you." Rommel interjected. "You'd have to tell me that sometime then Rommel... I'd like to at least bag one trophy while I'm here." Patton replied. A muffled "shhhh" hissed through the forest as Gause put his finger to his mouth and then pointed to a bird pirched on a branch above them. Slowly... They all took aim and we're about to pull the trigger... CRACK A few shots rang out, but none of them hit the bird. Instead, they all hit the ground... Along with the men who fired them. *** *** *** 3 Hours Later "What the buck us taking those bi-peds so long? We've been waiting here for an hour!" One guardspony called out. Normally, their Sergeant would've shut them up right then and there, thanks to Patton, but even they were getting annoyed with the late arrival of their advisors. "Calm your horseshoes... They probably had to deal with another regiment that probably got lost." Another one called out. "Both of you need to shut up... now." Shining Armor called out as he drafted a letter to forward towards headquarters. The reality of the situation was simple... Every regiment did arrive on schedule and no issues had taken place apart from a few guardsponies getting a little scared during their trek through the Everfree. The humans themselves had entered the Everfree... But they were armed with those "shotguns" and probably would've been able to handle any threat that had been present within the forest. The fact that they were so professional on being on time and following orders is what really didn't make sense. He could only hope that everypony else back at headquarters could make sense of the situation. *** *** *** "So... You mean to tell me that they just vanished? How the hell is that even possible?" Eisenhower wasn't exactly livid... But he definitely was confused. How the hell could he lose George S Patton in a forest, along with Bradley and 3 German Generals. That factor did not make sense what so ever. They took shotguns along with them... Yes, but they all had experience and understood the basic do's and do not's of holding a firearm that could potentially rip your arm off. Von Rundstedt was equally confused as to why they had not reported. Yes, Rommel and those within his clique did have a tendency to... Dismiss certain orders and keep moving forwards, but that was during the French and African campaigns. They all understood moderation after that, especially Bayerlein and Gause... But still, how could they simply get lost in the forest? It couldn't have gone that bad.... Could it? Monty was surprisingly the most calm of the two, but his mind was working non-stop attempting to address the situation with any sort of possibly explanation. It was only really Celestia and Luna who somewhat understood what could've happened, once the mentioning of shotguns and hunting became involved in the debate. Privately, they knew that the lost generals would all be fine, but there was a bit of a lesson that they needed to learn about hunting in Equestria... Especially in range to Ponyville... *** *** *** When Bradley first woke up... He found himself in some sort of cottage, all tied up around a chair that was too small for him... Well, actually... It was a few small chairs apparently taped together. The others were either tied to a couch, a stairway banister, or in Patton's case... Tied on top of a table itself. His mind was still in a bit of a daze when he started to hear the faint noise of tapping... And only after coming to his full senses, he looked down and saw the smallest and most pissed off rabbit he had ever seen in his entire life... Tapping it's right foot on the floor while giving him a shitface. Only a few seconds later, did he here the sound of female voices enter the room.