//------------------------------//
// CH.5: How do I 'Bug Pony'? 
// Story: Adventures in the life of Beetle 
// by Symphony_in_152mm 
//------------------------------//

Previously...

Now back together, the two went about navigating Ponyville, taking the less crowded streets and alleyways to get to their next destination. Zach kept himself busy in his mind to fend off the hunger pains, but he always kept one eye on his companion so he wouldn’t lose track of her.

All he could really do now was hope that they would find a hotel with vacancy, and fast...

Our Story Continues...

…

As it turned out, none of the other hotels in Ponyville had any vacancies.

Zach had gone so far as to stay outside for the last of the few hotels Ponyville had, just to be sure it wasn’t him that was the issue. They went to every hotel in Ponyville, upon Derpy’s insistence. 

No dice.

“Ugh...dammit.” Zach swore aloud, holding a hoof to his belly with a grimace. “What a waste of time. No surprise, everyone’s booked solid because of the holiday tomorrow.”

Derpy plopped down on her flank, as the two of them sat under the shade of a building.

“I’m sorry… I was so sure that there would be at least one hotel with a vacancy...” The mare said with disappointment hanging from her words. “Everyone’s so excited to see the princess here in Ponyville this year…”

She wasn’t the only one feeling disappointed, but Zach didn’t want her to feel discouraged. He still needed her help, “Hey, you tried, that’s what counts. I appreciate the effort.” In his head, he bit out, ‘There WAS one hotel with vacancy… but then that jerk went all speciest on me. Speciest; Species-ist? Whatever, doesn’t matter.’

“I guess so, happy to help!” The pegasus was smiling, but that odd taste came back.

The flavor was more defined, and it clicked together in his head with an, again, foreign and uncanny processing of information that the human part of his mind was very much uncomfortable with. Derpy was still upset, probably more so if the flavor laying upon his tongue was any indication. ‘Blegh, that is super intrusive and really creepy. Is there an off switch for this? I’d really like an off-switch; knowing what emotions taste like is something I could have gone the rest of my life without.’

His stomach growled and the hunger had, by now, grown in ferocity to an almost unbearable agony tormenting the back of his mind. Shelter was a bust, and his stomach seemed determined to cause him as much pain as physically possible.

‘Oh joy, there you are again.’

Zach must have inadvertently been making some seriously miserable expressions, because Derpy spoke up on it.

“Bugpony, are you ok? You look like you’re gonna be sick.” She blinked a few times and her expression took up a level of concern to match that of her voice. “Should I get you a doctor?”

Zach looked at her and tried to feign assurance, “No, no I’m fine Derpy, really.”

Derpy didn’t seem convinced, “Are you sure? Because your face is all scrunched up, and you keep holding your belly like you’re in pain…”

There just wasn’t any way around it, he needed to eat, and he needed to eat now. ‘OK, change of plans, I’ll figure out what to do for shelter after I’ve shut my stomach up. If nothing else, I’ll just have to take up the offer and stay at Derpy’s place.’ He stared at the ground for a moment before the ever helpful thought of ‘How do I eat an emotion?’ re-entered his frontline of mental processes.

Derpy waved a hoof to get his attention, “Bug pony?”

“I’m fine, Derpy, I’m just… Hungry, really hungry. I haven’t eaten anything substantial all day.”

Derpy’s ears perked up and she gave a quick nod of understanding, “Oh, that’s right; you mentioned you were hungry earlier. You must be starving!”

As he’d come to expect of her at this point, she was eager to help. Unfortunately, there still was the problem of: ‘How exactly does one eat an emotion?’

Zach felt pretty stupid for having put it off for as long as he did, well actually, he didn’t, not really. He had been putting it off for several obvious reasons, after all. ‘Seriously, eating emotions, how does that work?’

The possibilities of what feeding on love involved frightened him. That, and not wanting to disclose that little detail to anyone, especially not to the mare trying to help him--even knowing what he looks like. ‘Looking like a giant arthropod horse is one thing. Being an emotion vampire is a whole different ballpark. Feeding on emotion? That’s like something out of a creepy psychological horror novel!’

Zach didn’t know where to start with trying to wrap his brain around how it would work. Heck, he imagined even the know-it-all Twilight Sparkle would have trouble wrapping her brain around the concept. ‘Eating “feelings”, is it an energy of some kind that I’m supposed to take and consume? Is it some kind of spiritual thing, like chakra, or whatnot? Is it magic? Would I literally be eating magic? How would you eat magic? See, this is exactly why I’ve been avoiding this! Why couldn’t I just be an ordinary pony!?’

If he himself had such a difficult time understanding it, how would Derpy, of all ponies, be able to understand it?

“So, umm, is that what you wanna do next, or…?” Derpy started with an air of uncertainty in her voice, having been sitting in silence for the past minute.

With his stomach demanding food, and being just about out of any alternatives, he decided it was at least worth a shot. Zach briefly mulled over the ways to go about this, there wasn’t any easy or ‘right’ way, nothing obvious at least. “Derpy, about that…”

She tilted her head to the side with attentive curiosity, “About what?”

“My species, uh… we ‘bug ponies’ don’t really eat what ponies eat.”

Derpy still carried the look of curiosity, but with a portion of confusion added to it, “They don’t? Well, then, what do bug ponies eat?”

He took a breath. “It’s not easy to explain, but...”

Zach stopped as he caught a whiff of something sweet. He inhaled deeply, and his nostrils were filled with a faint, yet intoxicatingly enticing aroma. Every cylinder in his brain got to firing, urging him to investigate with an unprecedented drive. It was a sensation akin to being hungry and wandering within range of a restaurant, having that smell of food prep hit your nose. Even in this alien body, he knew that sensation and he knew it well. 

“Actually, hold that thought.” Was all he offered before hopping to his hooves, and sniffing about to try and pinpoint which direction the aroma was coming from.

“Uhh, ok?” Derpy said with a confused tone. “But, aren’t you hungry?”

Zach opened his mind to the invigorated senses. Inhaling deeply, having that incredible scent fill his nostrils and the sweetness wrapping around his mind. Surprisingly, he felt a strong ‘pull’ in a specific direction, not a literal pull, but a mental tug… a suggestion pointing him in a specific direction. He flicked his tongue out of his mouth and lapped at the air, as if by instinct. 

Whatever he’d smelled in the air rolled over his tongue in a sensory experience he’d never known as a human. He could actually taste whatever that was in the air, and it. Was. Delicious.

The flavor was so very faint and distant, but it was the sweetest thing he’d ever tasted in his life. The sweet and savory flavor was beyond anything he could describe, even as faint as it was on the tip of his forked changeling tongue.

Zach’s heart drummed in his chest with eager excitement, excited over the prospect of food. Whatever that food was, his mind focused on it’s aroma and flavor like a laser guidance system, the scent being the laser, and he very quickly became the missile. In the next moment, he found himself off at a running pace, barreling through an alleyway and paying no heed to anything around him, even as Derpy called out to him and struggled to keep up.

All he could think about was the smell, and that flavor he’d tasted on the air. ‘God, that flavor! Whatever it is, I am gonna tear into it!’

Each breath brought with it that scent, steadily growing stronger, steering him through the streets of ponyville with reckless abandon. He didn’t care about any of the bystanders or whether they took notice of his antics, weaving and ducking his way around ponyfolk left and right. Whatever this smell was, whatever the taste in the air was, he knew it was food of some kind and he didn’t care about anything but putting that food in his belly as quickly as possible.

It didn’t take him long to reach the origin of the aroma, where he believed it to be coming from. Zach came to a halt, stopping just short of a little restaurant with an outdoor dining patio, out near the edge of town. There were a few pony folk dining here, seated at the kinds of tables that had umbrellas built into them. It wasn’t all that surprising to him that his nose led him here.

He glanced around, sniffing at the air and trying to determine what exactly he’d smelled earlier. There was no mistaking it, the food was here, it was here. That’s what his brain was telling him, but where here?

Zach stepped closer to the arrangement of dining tables, looking to each of them for any hint of what could have possibly been the source of the smell that brought him here. There wasn’t any hint of it, at least from what he could see. The food that the ponies were eating, it was...well… not appetizing in the slightest. 

The pony folk were eating exactly what Zach had expected them to eat, similar to what he’d seen in the cartoon. They were amalgamations of vegetables and plants that were prepared or arranged in such a way to imitate the foods he’d see back home. It really wasn’t the worst thing imaginable, and as hungry as he was, he wouldn’t turn his nose up at it if it were offered to him.

Still, there was nothing that would have given off such a strong presence of sweetness. Despite the lack of any obvious source, the enticing aroma permeated the air around the patio.

‘Ok, what’s the deal!? What am I smelling if it isn’t any of the foods here?!’ He demanded in his head. His brain, the changeling parts he figured, responded by adamantly insisting that there was food right here, right in front of him. The more he demanded, the more his brain insisted, at least that was the sensation he got whenever he inhaled that delectably sweet scent. Flicking his tongue out, he could practically lick the flavor from the air, fueling his frustration.

It was, by far, the sweetest thing he’d ever tasted, and it was tantalizing with how it danced over the tip of his tongue, grabbing at his mind and demanding he go after it.

‘Oh my god, where the hell IS IT!?’ Zach was rapidly losing what little patience he had. Having his goal be so close, without any discernible means of actually acquiring it, or where it even was, was like a slap in the face.

That’s when he saw it…

Two of the ponies in the dining patio, sitting together at one of the tables, embraced and held a kiss. They must have been a couple, or romantically involved in some way. The sweet smell grew tenfold, nearly flooring Zach in its intensity. It was only after he’d moved away for a brief moment, looked away, tried one last vain attempt to locate the source of the smell and taste; It clicked for him.

This was the source, that smell, that...taste… It was that pony couple: they were the source.

Zach felt a lump in his throat, and what had previously been a sweet and enticing aroma in his mind, very quickly soured and elicited revulsion. ‘What- no. No. No! This can’t be it, that can’t be what I was smelling! That’s not fair!’ 

Changelings ate Love, that was a fact. He wanted to deny it, but the more he watched the pony couple, the more that now sickeningly sweet smell lingered in his nostrils, the less he could reason his way out of it. That’s what love smelled like, and he had the tiniest sample of what it tasted like lingering in the air…

His stomach belligerently spurred him on with a biting pain that viciously tore at his thoughts. Food was right here, staring him in the face! The only thing stopping him was the how. He’d figure that out though, one way or another, all he had to do was walk over to those two ponies… they were separate from the others, it’d be easy to get close to them, especially with how they were fixated on one another.

With everyone busy for the Celebration tomorrow, no one would notice him sneak up to those two lovers… 

‘Wait, what!? No! I can’t just walk over to a pair of complete strangers and start, I dunno, doing whatever it is these parasite bug horses do! What in the world is wrong with me!?’ He shook the intrusive thoughts from his mind and forcibly tore his gaze from the couple on the diner’s patio. He wiped wetness from his mouth with revulsion. ‘Was I salivating!? Oh my god, I was! Screw you, bug brain!’ 

He took a few deep breaths and tried to organize his thoughts and calm his nerves. Unfortunately, the air was so thick with the aroma of Love that it did not help in the slightest. ‘I don’t even know what it is they do anyway.’ He whined in his head. Zach wanted to turn around right there and then, get as far from that pony couple as possible.

The smell, and his stomach, stopped him from doing so. It made his skin crawl, but there was no denying the facts. Despite his anger and resentment, the parts of his brain responsible for these new senses gently, but firmly, coaxed him into reconsidering.

He needed food, and food was here.

‘Dammit, why does that have to smell so good? Is this what being a mosquito is like? This is gross, creepy, unfair, and I hate it!’ Humor aside, the painful biting in his belly was already at the limits of what he could tolerate. He was starving, and not in the exaggerated sense; he knew from experience that he wasn’t going to last very long like this. If he didn’t willingly do something about this now, he’d have little say in what he would do next.

Zach shuddered at the memory of the ‘rotten carrot stew’ incident. ‘Yeah, no, I’m not having a “love vampire” version of that. I need to figure this out one way or the other.’

He watched the pony couple and mulled things over, ‘Ok, if I were a parasitic emotion vampire, how would I go about feeding on someone?’ As much as that line of thought sent a disgusted shiver up his spine, Zach contemplated the possibilities. He felt around in his mouth, running his tongue over the fangs and the array of curved, pointed teeth to accompany them. Zach was by no means a biologist, but if he had to hazard a guess, the teeth definitely pointed towards a ‘carnivorous’ diet. Then again, he had no trouble from the leaves he ate earlier, ‘omnivore’ was also a possibility. 

Zach tried to remember the season two finale, hoping there might have been some indication of how they fed somewhere in that episode; ‘I don’t think changelings actually bite their prey to feed on them, otherwise they’d have implied it in the show; someone would’ve seen it on Sparkle’s brother. Come to think of it, what are the fangs for anyway? Questions for later. Can’t rule out biting being part of it, but I’ll save that for last.’

The pain in his stomach worsened with each breath he took. Either the smell invigorating his senses or the flavor dancing across his tongue, it was practically begging him and coaxing him over to indulge. All this was going to drive him crazy if he sat here for much longer. ‘Welp, time to wing it. Hopefully this bug body knows how this works and it’ll give me some kind of hint as to what I need to do once I’m… in range, I guess? God, I hope changelings don’t have to bite to feed… Using people for food is bad enough without having to hurt them in the process.’

Zach looked to the left and right of the pony couple, relieved to see that a few of the dining tables near them were vacant. He could swoop in, grab a seat at a table near them, figure out how changelings did their thing, feed, get his stomach to quiet down, and be on his way.

He took a deep breath, gulped, and made his way over to the dining area as casually as he could manage. ‘Nice and casual, super casual, nice and easy and… casual… aaand this isn’t helping.’

Something awful graced his taste buds. The flavor was faint, yet it was bitter enough to make him want to spit away whatever it was. Once again, his mind processed the information in its uncannily alien manner; the taste was… anger. Anger, someone was angry, but it wasn’t just general anger, was it anger directed at him?

Something clicked in the changeling parts of his brain, yes, someone was angry with him. 

Who, and why? Was it Derpy? Maybe she was angry with him for bolting on her? ‘Hey, she left me behind plenty of times! Then again, she’s also going out of her way to help me, so I can’t really get too indignant here…’

Zach frowned at that, but moved on from it, whatever the case was. For the time being, it was irrelevant next to the unshakeable need to fill his belly with emotion. ‘Yep, eating emotion isn’t getting any less weird to think about.’

He took a seat at one of the tables near to the couple and cast a careful glance around to check his surroundings. None of the other ponies seemed to be paying him much mind.

Well, that was until he spotted that same blue Earth pony from before. Again, the second they made eye contact, the pony looked away and quickly got out of sight.

Zach raised an eyebrow at that, or the changeling equivalent, ‘Ok, your name is Blue until known otherwise, and you’re weirding me out, buddy.’ This was the second time, or was it the third time? He hadn’t been keeping count, but now he would endeavor to do so. This was a repeating occurrence and Zach wasn’t an idiot.

Blue was following him, ever since he’d seen him on the road to Ponyville. It was plenty obvious that’s what he was doing, but why? Zach had a few plausible guesses off the top of his head, but now wasn’t the time for such things. With a huff, he got back to the task at hand. He’d have plenty of time to worry about being stalked by Blue after he’d dealt with the gripping pain of starvation.

‘OK, I’m here, food is literally next to me. How do I do this?’ He looked down at himself, pausing for a moment and waiting for any kind of hint from this changeling body for what the next step would be. ‘Well!? Any second now, body, what do I do?’

Nothing. Well, besides the tug of his sensory system being enveloped and teased by the heavenly aroma bombarding his olfactories…or whatever the weird horse bug equivalent of them was.

‘Come on!!!’ He shouted into his mind. ‘What the hell do I do!?’

He inhaled through his mouth, tasting at the flavor filled air gracing his tongue, the promises of food so close and yet so very far away. The air itself was so impossibly delicious, like miniscule crumbs of everything sweet he’d ever tasted in his life all combined into a mist.

Zach sat there and inhaled through his mouth, slowly, drawing out the extent of breath to keep that flavor on his tongue as long as he could manage. It was nothing short of intoxicating, encapsulating his mind, his thoughts swarming with nothing but that succulent sweetness that invigorated his taste buds. ‘Oh my god, that’s so good. So good, dammit I can’t think straight… I need more, I need food! Why isn’t this working!? How do I “bug pony”? Please, just let me eat, damn you!’

He wanted to cry, to scream, to shout at the cruelty of it all. To have come so close to food and not have any means to get it.

Just as the outrage started to grow, Zach felt something tangible forming in his mouth. He couldn’t explain the how or the why, but the longer he sat there and inhaled, the more he felt a building up of…something. He could’ve sworn he saw little whisps of pink just on the outside of his mouth at some points. Eventually, he felt a liquid build up, yet it wasn’t quite a liquid… 

Whatever this not-quite-liquid substance was, it was a miniscule amount, but it…was…delicious. Zach ran his tongue through it: the substance was almost a liquid, but it also seemed to float and was airy like a gas. Was it energy?

Every fiber of his body ached for whatever this substance was, he craved it, such was made very clear with the signals he was getting in his brain. After a few seconds, there was just enough to where he could close his mouth and swallow it. The changeling parts of his brain did summersaults of joy, a moment of giddiness, positive signals in all the right places. 

Food, this was food.

He kept at it, taking in those deep breaths, waiting anxiously for the sweetness to build up into the tangible mass for him to swallow. Little by little, the pain in his belly gave purchase, and diminished ever so slightly with each swallow of that miniscule amount of the not-quite-liquid substance.

It didn’t take long for it to click into place in his mind. Love, that’s what this was, obvious in hindsight; from where he sat, he only cared about getting more of the stuff. It’s all he could think about. 

‘Is that it? Is this how they do it? This can’t be right, there’s so little of it! I need more!’ Gathering the love from the air was agonizingly slow, and the more he took in, he only wanted more of it. More of this flavor, more love, and he couldn’t make it go any faster than what he currently managed.

Still, it was clearly helping; it was making the pain in his stomach dissipate, to a noticeable degree. He laid his head down upon the table and let himself continue to breathe deeply of the love in the air, letting it pool into that tangible substance, then swallowing it down… 

His stomach calmed, but he was still hungry.

Zach mused the feeling of relief that was building in intensity. It felt like he’d been dying of thirst and came upon a moderate rainfall; water was everywhere, and he was trying to drink it by holding his mouth open to the sky. It was slow, painfully so, but it was getting the job done, little by little. Curiously enough, something about this whole thing didn’t feel right, said feeling stemming from the newfound changeling parts in his brain. It felt off, yet, at the same time, it didn’t feel objectively wrong either.

Zach had sat there, doing the closest thing he could get to feeding, not paying much attention to anything besides fulfilling the demands of this changeling stomach of his. It caught him completely by surprise, and startled him, when he heard the newcomer address him.

“Heya, friendo! Mind if I join you?” Came a stallion’s warm, friendly voice as he approached.

Zach inhaled sharply, turning his head to identify the newcomer. Part of him expected Blue to be there, but he was relieved to find himself looking at a male pegasus pony. Their fur was a brownish color, like coffee if you held it up to the light in a glass. Their mane was a gentle shade of green that complemented his coat color.

The pegasus’ eyes widened for a moment, with an expression that hinted at fear. The expression didn’t last though, as the pegasus forced a smile before reiterating his previous question. “You uh, don’t mind if I sit here, do you?”

Zach struggled to focus, reluctantly fighting off the incessantly pleasant haze he’d been so eagerly partaking in. Part of him wanted to ignore everything and sit here while the love saturation stimulating his senses. The other part of him was panicking, with good reason. “A- well, uh… I-I…” 

‘Quick! Think of something! Give him any old excuse, tell him you’re waiting for someone, anything!’ He fought to try and form sentences, but the words just wouldn’t come out. Mentally shaking himself to try and get back to his senses, he spoke the first thing to come to mind: “Sure.”

‘Gaah! Anything but that! Stupid stupid stupid!’

“Rough day, huh? I understand.” Without further ado, the pegasus took the seat on the opposite end of Zach’s table. “You new in town? You look like you’ve traveled a decent distance, and I don’t think we’ve met before…”

Zach’s heart was pumping now, ‘Wait, no! Go away! Why can’t you just hate my face and want nothing to do with me like the Weatherly guy?!’ He glanced back toward where he first came from, hoping to see Derpy had caught up with him. Failing to catch sight of her, he kept his eyes peeled and tried to avoid eye contact with the newcomer.

‘My luck is going straight into the toilet now, isn’t it? Now what the heck do I do!?’

The pegasus had waited for some kind of response. In lieu of any response from Zach, he’d elected to continue the conversation where he left off, “Funnily enough, I wouldn’t be able to recognize you anyway, wearing that costume. Wicked cool mask by the way, nearly spooked me half to death when I first saw it!”

‘Hold the phone, he thinks I’m wearing a mask? Is this guy an idiot?’ Sure, Zach was wearing a disguise to hide his body, but he didn’t understand why anyone would think--… ‘Heeeyyy, that must have been why Derpy insisted I didn’t need to cover my face! I mean, it didn’t help with that Weatherly guy, nor did it help with Blue, but I see what she was going for at least. Would’ve been great if it worked earlier… whatever, I’ll take it.’

With that respite from worry, he figured his best move would be to act casual and play along, at least until he caught sight of Derpy. Zach forced a smile and tried to return the friendly demeanor, answering the question just as the Pegasus was opening his mouth to speak, “I, y-yeah. Sorry, It’s been a long day for me, just rolled into town and whatnot. Still trying to get my bearings.”

The pegasus nodded with a friendly smile, “No kidding? I mean, I guessed as much, what with those saddlebags and all. Here for the summer sun celebration then, I take it? Not that there aren’t other nice things about Ponyville worth a visit, but the princess coming by is a bit of a big deal.”

In his mind, Zach did his best to keep his cool, ‘OK, so the princess is coming to town, that means it’s the pilot epis—wait, I already established that. C’mon Zach, you’re panicking! Stop panicking! This guy thinks I’m wearing a mask, just reaffirms that the ponies don’t know what changelings are. That is good for me.’  Outside his mind, he offered a quick, “You could say that, yeah.” Small talk, he was terrible at it, but he’d have to manage.

The stallion chuckled, “How are you doing that with your voice? Are you using some kind of illusion spell or is that a practiced thing?”

Zach mentally facepalmed, another thing he’d worried about and not considered alternatives for. He responded with a little grain of truth, “Practice, lots of practice. Wanted to be a voice actor, never ended up doing anything with it.”

‘Well, that’s one less thing to panic over; I’ll gladly take it.’

“Neat!” The newcomer then tried imitating Zach’s gargly changeling vocals, with limited success and a lighthearted laugh. “Oh, that is plenty difficult isn’t it? Wow, you’re good.”

“Thanks.” Zach scanned his surroundings again, though he tried to be casual about it. Still no sign of Derpy. ‘I really should have waited for her to keep up… She’s probably forgotten all about me and wandered off to do something else; It’d be just my luck.’

“My name’s Arco, by the way. Arco Prattle.”

Zach tried to feign friendliness in return, but he knew he’d have mixed results. A brief smile and a nonchalant, “nice to meet you.” Behind him, the couple from earlier and the source of the love, were getting up to leave, to his dismay. Zach wanted to continue feeding, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that now. He didn’t have any reason to stick around anymore, and a plethora of reasons to leave.

Just as he was about to excuse himself, one of the servers from the restaurant happened by. They recognized the pegasus and offered a warm greeting, “Oh, hello Arco! Here for the usual?” A mare, by the sound of their voice and facial features.

“Heya, Cinnamon! Sure, I could go for the usual.” Arco stuck a hoof out towards Zach before adding, “One for my new friend here, too. You gotta see this fella’s mask, Cinnamon! It’s super spooky!”

Zach was frozen on the spot, caught between a rock and a hard place. He wanted to flee right then and there and get out of this situation, but he was also curious to see the server’s reaction. Maybe there was more merit to Derpy’s logic than he gave her credit for?

The mare in question, Cinnamon, took a look at Zach just as he looked to her, and her eyes widened momentarily. “Oh wow, that is spooky! I bet you could scare half of ponyville into a frenzy with a getup like that!”

“Heh, yeah, I already spooked my way out of a hotel for the night at the Weatherly’s…” Zach concurred. ‘Ok, so there’s definitely more merit to this disguise than I originally thought. I dunno how comfortable I am about stress testing this, but Derpy seemed to have the right idea after all.’ Zach shuffled in his chair and weighed his options. He could excuse himself, that’d be the easy option, but then where would he go from there? He’d still need to find derpy.

“Oh, jeez, sorry to hear that, friendo. Lotta folks around town tend to be easily spooked at first, but, trust me when I say they’re genuinely nice folks at heart.” Arco offered, then quickly added, “Well, most of em anyway.”

Cinnamon agreed, “Yeah, the Weatherly’s are decent folks, but Mr. Weatherly’s a bit of a… well… I don’t wanna say he’s a speciest or anything.”

‘I probably shouldn’t go wandering aimlessly; if Derpy comes looking for me, I should stay in this general area.’ Zach continued contemplating as the two ponies talked.

“He just doesn’t handle scares very well.” Arco asserted.

“Yeah, that! He’s a nervous wreck when the latter half of October rolls around. Anyway, I’ll be right back with those drinks.” And with that, Cinnamon headed inside.

Drinks, Zach hadn’t had anything to drink since he got here, well, unless he counted feeding on love. Could that count? It didn’t feel like it, the more he thought about it. ‘Wow, it really does not get any less weird does it? I’m just gonna stop thinking about it.’

“This place sells some of the best coffee in ponyville, at least in my humble opinion. You’ve gotta try some.” Arco spoke up in the moment of quiet between them. “I always get a coffee from here, every day.”

Coffee, that was quite the enticing offer. ‘As much as I probably don’t need to be ingesting a diuretic, I could definitely go for some coffee right about now. It’d help cool my nerves, assuming this body gets along with coffee. It’d also help me keep my cover, casually enjoying a coffee out here with this Arco guy. Besides, its coffee…’ His thoughts trailed off into his words. “Shoot, I don’t think I can even think of a time where I’d ever say no to the offer of coffee.”

Arco gave a quick laugh and a grin, “That’s the spirit!”

‘I’ll give Derpy till I’m finished with the coffee. If she followed me, she should be here long before I finish and she can help me get away from here without much suspicion. Even if she got lost, she should still catch up eventually, right? Besides, she’s a pegasus, she could just take flight and look for me from a birds-eye vantage point. Even a mare like her shouldn’t have any trouble finding me, I am wearing her jacket and saddlebags after all.’ Zach figured, ‘Heck, maybe I’ll spot her first.’

Arco eventually continued speaking, breaking the silence, “So, what’s your name, friendo? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

Zach paused and hesitated, for the same reason why he withheld his name from Derpy: he didn’t want to just start divulging his name out to anyone, seeing as it wouldn’t fit in this pastel pony world. Being a bug pony was already bad enough, having a human name would add on to the weirdness.

That, and he wasn’t sure how long he was going to be here. The last thing he wanted was to grow attached to anyone only for it to be yanked away by suddenly waking up in his home and bed at any given moment. ‘Y’know, I’m seriously doubting that’s gonna be happening any time soon… I’d best stop messing around. I need a name, something short and simple and easy to remember. I think I’ve got just the thing, ironically enough.’

“You ok friendo? I uh, I hope I’m not being to forward or anything… you don’t have to tell me your name if you don’t want to.” Arco said with an uncertainty in his tone.

Zach took a breath and decided to go with it. It’d be the perfect throwaway name if he got whisked away back to his own bed come tomorrow, and an easy to remember name if he had to stick around. It was unique enough for him to know it when he heard it, but not necessarily out of place like his own name would be. “My name is Käfer.”

Arco titled his head in thought, “Käfer? Is that Griffonian?” The pegasus started to smile again, “If I’m remembering correctly, that means ‘beetle’, right? Sorry, my Griffonian’s a little rusty; by ‘rusty’ I mean I know maybe twenty-five words.”

“I think you’re right, that’s what I was told the name meant anyways. I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been there.”

“Käfer… it’s a nice name; fitting, really.” Arco said, just as their server, Cinnamon, returned with the two coffees. “Ah, and here we are!”

Cinnamon set down the drinks between the two of them. The coffees were served in a pair of tall glass mugs. “You gentlecolts enjoy. Give me a shout if you need anything else.”

“Will do!” Arco quipped. “That one’s on me, by the way. Drink up.” The pegasus lifted a wing and extended it out to the mug on his side of the table.

Zach observed with fascination as the pegasi’s feathers moved and flexed with the prehensile precision of fingers. They slipped their way around the arch of the mug and gripped tight, lifting the cup from the table with ease.

He must have been staring intently, because Arco glanced to his wing, then back at Zach before commenting on it. “Something the matter? What, never seen wings before?” The way he said it, he’d clearly meant it in jest, but there was still the bit of confusion in it.

“I’d never seen any pegasi before today.” Zach said it without thinking. ‘Wait, ah crap, I gotta be more careful, can’t screw up now. See, this right here is why I didn’t want to stick around! I’m awful at small talk!’

Arco offered a lighthearted laugh, “Wow, you must really be out of your element, huh?”

“That’s the understatement of the century right there.”

Zach’s comment elicited another laugh from the pegasus. He looked down at his own mug. ‘I really need to cut the small talk and get out of here before this guy and the other ponies around me realize this isn’t a mask… but, coffee.’ Although a little disappointed that it was chilled coffee, he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Were his priorities skewed? Maybe.

Did he care? Coffee.

It was at that moment, as Zach reached with a hoof to grab at the mug… that he encountered another problem with being an equine shaped bug. “How do I hold a mug with hooves?”

Arco had been taking a sip from his mug when Zach made his comment; he nearly choked on his coffee and spat it everywhere to his side. He then burst into laughter immediately after.

Zach blinked and gave an annoyed look, “What’s so funny? I’m serious.” It wasn’t until he thought about what he said that he began to understand why a pegasus pony would find it funny. “Ok, ok, but seriously…”

Arco continued to laugh for a moment longer, but slowly brought himself to a stop when he began to realize Zach wasn’t joking. “Wait, you’re serious? Just pick it up and hold it.”

“Oh wow, why didn’t I think of that?” Zach replied with no small quantity of snark.

The pegasus lightly recoiled at the response, “Umm… I’m sorry?”

‘Easy now, he’s giving you free coffee.’ Zach held back the spiteful retort he’d brewed up and elected to take a more tactful route. “Can I just get a straw? Please? Today’s really not my day.”

“Yeah, sure,” Arco turned and called out to the server, “Hey, Cinnamon, can I get a straw for my friend here?”

The server deftly deposited a straw into Zach’s mug within the minute.

He thanked the server and went for a sip of his drink. The beverage hit his tongue and he savored its rich flavor and mild sweetness, even if it was cold. ‘Mmm, he wasn’t kidding! That’s the gourmet expensive stuff!’

Zach eagerly indulged in the chilled gift from the heavens, “Normally I don’t go for cold brews, but this coffee is something special.”

Arco offered his agreement, “Oh, I’m the same way. You see what I mean thought? Best coffee in Ponyville.”

Zach’s eyes wandered as he continued drinking the cold brewed delight. He eventually spotted Derpy hovering over the rooftops in the distance. To his surprise, it appeared that she’d spotted him before he saw her; she was waving to him and already heading in his direction. ‘There she is, thank goodness.’

As much as he was happy to see her, happy he didn’t have to go looking for her, he felt a pang of guilt. Here he’d expected her to get lost or distracted and forget all about him, yet there she was, flying over to him.

“So, how long are you planning on staying here in--…” Arco began, only to be interrupted.

From behind, the server, Cinnamon, uttered, “Uh-oh,” then called out, “Incoming Derp! Six o’clock high!”

Arco swiveled his head, frantically glancing behind him, “Oh no. Duck!”

Zach watched with visible confusion as the ponies nearby ducked into cover, and Derpy Hooves came in for a landing. It wasn’t until she was just about to land that he realized why everyone had taken such precautions, and his mind flashed back to when they first met.

The mare wavered and swayed too much on her approach. She ended up colliding with one of the umbrellas, toppling it-- and the table it was connected to-- over with a crash. She frantically fluttered and flared her wings, barely managing to right herself. Derpy avoiding hitting another umbrella, correcting her course and lowering herself enough to set her forehooves onto the patio floor. Unfortunately, she was unable to halt her forward momentum. 

She wound up faceplanting into the wood flooring of the patio, tumbling forward and onto her back before she finally came to a stop. “Oww.”

Arco and the other’s poked their heads out from where they’d sought cover. Cinnamon put a hoof to her forehead and sighed, “I’ll go get a broom.” 

“Oopsie… sorry about that.” Derpy glanced around her, very much aware of the ponies now staring at her with visible frustration. She smiled with a modicum of embarrassment in her demeanor, then looked to Zach, “Hi again bugpony! Sorry for falling behind earlier… and then getting lost.”

Zach was momentarily at a loss for words. Again, she was apologizing when for all accounts he should have been the one apologizing. “Hey, don’t, uh… don’t worry about it.” It was the best he could manage.

Arco had come out of his cover and hopped back in his seat, eying Derpy with an expression of mild annoyance, just the same as everyone else.

“Hey, Arco, this is my friend Derpy. She’s been helping me find my way around town.” Zach spoke up in an effort to try and smooth things over.

Arco and Derpy both looked at him, Arco with amusement, Derpy with a combination of puzzlement and bashfulness. 

“I know who she is. Derpy’s the town mailmare, everyone knows who she is, Käfer.” Arco asserted with a chuckle.

Zach lightly puffed out his cheeks for a brief moment, recalling that that was indeed the case, and feeling a bit like an idiot. “Oh, right, duh.”

“You need a helping hoof there?” Arco asked, turning his head to the mare, who was still lying on her back after her botched landing.

Derpy stretched and held out a hoof, “please.”

Zach stepped forward and lent a hoof himself, albeit with arguable results.

Once she was on her hooves again, Derpy lightly gasped and looked to Zach with a delighted visage, “Your name’s Käfer?”

“Y-yeah, that’s my name.” Zach replied with a bit of extra guilt tacked onto his conscience. “I should have told you earlier, sorry.”

Arco gave a raised eyebrow, silently judging him no doubt.

Derpy gave a dismissive wave of her hoof, “Oh that’s okay! I’m just happy to know your name now! Käfer, it’s a nice name!”

The server, CInnamon had since returned with a broom and had swept up the mess. Afterward, she righted the table Derpy crashed into with the help of another server from the diner. Without skipping a beat, she went right up to Derpy with a stern expression and tone, “Derpy!”

Derpy ducked her ears back as she turned to face Cinnamon, a guilty expression quickly taking the place of the smile she’d had just moments earlier.

Arco spoke up, “You know you’re not supposed to attempt landings in crowded areas, Derpy. Mayor Mare’s told you multiple times now.” He hadn’t seemed mean spirited about the remark, more so blunt and to the point than anything.

“I-I’m sorry, really! I didn’t mean to…”

Cinnamon’s expression softened, “Sweetie, we know you don’t mean to, but you’ve been told not to for a reason. Its not just for your safety, it’s for ours too!”

“Nobody thinks you’re doing it on purpose, Derpy. We’re worried, that’s all.” Arco agreed.

With the mix of different emotions in the air, it was hard to tell who was feeling what. There was… hurt, fear, a small bit of anger, maybe resentment? The emotions were all coming together from so many different sources and difficult to really differentiate between them.

Zach didn’t need to ‘changeling-sense’ Derpy’s emotion to tell what was probably going through her mind, he’d been there before. Center of attention after a blunder, all eyes on him, he knew far too well what that felt like. He quickly downed the rest of his coffee and turned to the pegasus stallion, “Hey, Arco, thanks for the drink, but I'm gonna have to cut things short. It's been a tiring day for me.”

“Oh, alright, calling it a night then? Kind of early, don't you think?” Arco replied, “Not that I'm judging or anything. Where are you staying, if you don’t mind me asking?"

Zach took a step over to Derpy and nodded to her, “She’s offered to let me stay at her place, since all the hotels in town are booked.”

Cinnamon and Arco both glanced between Derpy and Zach with suspicion. Derpy blinked a few times and took a moment to process things before she ultimately verified what Zach said to be true, more or less.

“Well alright then. Good to know you’ve got a place to stay at least.” Arco conceded. He left a few coins on the table, assumedly to pay for the drinks. “I guess I should get going myself, only swung by to have a drink anyways. It was nice meeting you, Käfer. I Hope you enjoy your stay here in ponyville!”

“Take care, Arco!” The server quipped.

“You too, Cinnamon!” Arco returned the gesture.

Just as Arco was about to leave, he abruptly stopped himself and quickly backtracked and took a step closer to Zach. “Oh, um.. Käfer, before I forget: since you’re new in town, it’s only fair for me to warn you…”

Zach’s heart skipped a beat in a mix of fear and indignation at that. ‘Excuse you? Warn me? The hell do you mean by--…’

“Its safe to assume you haven’t met her yet, since we haven’t heard about it… but, ah, when you eventually do meet ‘the pink one’, try to keep an open mind. OK?”

Cinnamon’s eyes widened, “Oh shoot, that’s right! Yeah, you wanna keep a really open mind when you eventually meet her.”

“Her?” Zach was almost afraid to ask. Really though, there was no need to ask. He had the distinct feeling he already knew; there was only one pony they could have possibly been referring to in such a manner. That particularly infamous pony that the fandom obsessed over. The pony that terrified him most.

Derpy nodded solemnly, “Ohhhh, that’s right, her! She makes my brain hurt.”

“Judging by the look of existential dread you’ve got, friendo, unless I’m reading it wrong because of your mask, I take it you’ve heard tales of our resident party pony?” Arco spoke with a grin.

“You could say that.” Zach spoke while trying to conceal the creeping terror that was building in him. He swallowed hard at the thought of encountering the fourth wall breaking terror of Ponyville.

“Don’t worry, he’s just pulling your leg, Pinkie’s harmless. Really.” Cinnamon offered in a reassurance that was doing nothing to actually reassure against what Zach was worried about.

It was a miracle he hadn’t run into her yet. Pinkie Pie would blow his cover sky high with her antics. Or… maybe she wouldn’t? With that crazy mare, anything was possible-- literally. Then again, that was assuming her behavior would be the same as it was in the show. Zach wasn’t eager to find out either way.

“Anywho, I’ll see you around, Käfer! Stay safe, Derpy!” Arco said with a wave as he headed out.

"Bye bye, Arco!" Derpy quipped with a wave of her own.

Within the next few moments, Derpy offered to pay to cover the mess she’d made. The server quickly refused and insisted it wasn’t a big deal. The ponies present in the diner were growing more and more curious about the unusual hooded individual standing in the middle of the patio than they were about the mailmare's botched landing. 

Zach was quickly growing weary of the numerous eyes now glancing in his direction every so often. 'Aaaand that's the signal that it's time for me to leave!'

“Did you get anything to eat, Käfer?” Derpy inquired.

Remembering the reason he ran off in the first place, Zach gave a quick nod and blurted out, “Oh, yeah! I got something to eat, I feel a lot better now, thanks for asking. Let's get going, huh?” He tried to hurry things along, without making it obvious that's what it was he was trying to do. If there was anything he was good at, it wasn't making things less obvious.

“I was just making sure. You worried me back there is all…” The mare admitted.

“I appreciate it, but I’m fine now. Lets head out, the sooner the better.” Zach insisted.

Despite his behavior raising a few eyebrows, it did the trick and Derpy got a move on.

The duo set off in the direction Zach could only assume lead to Derpy’s house, and not a moment too soon. He’d started getting more looks from the ponies at the diner, he and Derpy both. He was happy to be moving again. As they walked, he kept his head on a swivel, keeping his eyes peeled for the Pink menace…

…

“Well, here we are!” Derpy announced with her usual cheerful demeanor and slow manner of speaking. She stood in the doorway, a hoof extended and gently waving in the general direction of her living room.

The two had managed to make it to the pegasi’s house without incident, and without running into ‘the Pink One’.

Zach took a step inside once Derpy moved from the door and let him in. “Huh, cozy.”

He was halfway between expecting a fully ‘humanoid’ aesthetic house, or a purely equine purposed housing. What he found himself looking at was something in between. The furniture was something that an equine could find comfortable and functional, but much of it could also accommodate a more ‘humanoid’ posture. Everything was surprisingly normal, for lack of a better word, normal enough for him to know what everything did and how any given furnishing functioned upon first glance.

'Again, not sure what I was expecting, but I'm still surprised.'

The couch was a couch, the table was a table, the refrigerator had a handle that was more accommodating to an equine’s given means of grip, but otherwise exactly as a fridge would look. The same could be said for the sink and the oven.

“…did you want me to pull out the couch bed, or did you wanna use my spare bedroom?”

Zach did a double take, “I’m sorry, what?” He’d been caught up in thought, again. ‘This is gonna be a recurring thing, isn’t it?’

“I was asking if you wanted to sleep on the couch bed, or if you wanted to sleep in the spare room I had.” Derpy replied.

Ordinarily, Zach would have immediately gone for the couch bed… but he remembered what he was, and where he was, and that there was a window right there in the livingroom that’d risk exposing him if he wasn’t careful. “I’ll take the spare room, thanks.”

"Ok! I just gotta move a few things first."

...

It was more than a 'few' things.

The endeavor took almost thirty minutes, nearly falling down the stairs twice, disassembling some unused furniture, and close calls with injury here and there… but the two of them did eventually manage to set up the mare’s spare room to accommodate Zach for the night, or however long he would end up staying there.

With a helping hoof from Derpy, Zach removed each and every last piece of attire he’d worn as a disguise. He lightly groaned and stretched, now becoming fully aware of the dull ache that had formed in his wings from being pressed against him for so long by those saddlebags. “Muuuuch better. Thanks again for the disguise, absolute lifesaver!”

Derpy gave a bashful giggle, “It was no problem at all; happy to help!”

“No, really, I mean it.” Zach reiterated. If he was going to be staying here, and if he didn’t wake up in his own bed tomorrow, he wanted to leave things with derpy on good terms. “I’m sorry I wasn’t as honest with you as I should have been, and for leaving you in the dust back there. You’ve been nothing but helpful to me, and I dunno where I’d be if you hadn’t found me in the Everfree when you and those other pegasi were clearing that magic storm.”

“O-oh, well, I…” She fumbled her words a bit, scuffing at the floor with a free hoof. “You’re welcome! I’m glad to have met you, you’re a nice bugpony, Käfer.”

“I try to be.” Was all he could say in return.

The two were silent for a few moments afterward.

In the silence, Zach’s mind wandered. It wandered back to the scene at the diner, and how he’d fed. It occurred to him, that what he wound up doing may not have been the proper means for a changeling to feed. However, at the time, it had gotten the job done and didn’t involve hurting anyone. That was good enough for him, a good starting point.

Unfortunately, as his mind was wandering, he came to realize he was hungry again.

‘Oh come on, really!?’ He internally groaned, about ready to go off on a tirade at the impeccable timing his stomach had. His mind flashed back to the moment in the alley where he was about to tell Derpy about what he ate… and he did just apologize to her mere moments ago for not being honest with her. He may as well put his money where his mouth was.

“Hey, Derpy, before I forget… I never did tell you what bugponies ate, did I?”

Derpy scratched at her chin and thought for a moment. “Huh, no, I guess you didn’t.” She smiled and looked to him expectantly. “Well, what do bugponies eat?”

Zach carefully constructed the best way he could think of to explain it. “Well, first things first… I’m not a ‘bugpony’, I’m what’s called a Changeling. Changelings, well, we eat Love. We feed on emotions… The best way I can explain it, is a pony feels Love, expresses love, and it makes this kind of energy I guess, and we uh, eat that.” He rubbed the back of his head in exasperation at having to explain what even he had difficulty wrapping his brain around. “If that makes any sense at all.”

Derpy’s facial expressions went through several variations of thoughtfulness and contemplation before she finally spoke again, “Chaaaangeling... So… you’re like a vampire, except instead of blood, you drink…feelings?”

Zach gestured with a hoof, shrugging once or twice, “I mean… yeah, I guess that kinda works, kinda. I don't bite necks, and, best I can tell, I don’t turn anyone into a Changeling by feeding on them either.'”

“Wait... didn't you mention Changelings earlier, back at the edge of the Everfree? So that is what you are, huh… I've never heard of changelings before.” Derpy mused.

Zach ducked his ears back in embarassment, “Yeah, I know... like I said, I’m sorry for not being as honest with you as I should have been. I didn't do it to be mean though, I didn’t think ponies would particularly like changelings and I was afraid of how you would've reacted if you knew what I was. Hence why I insisted on no one seeing what I look like.” He didn’t want to tell her everything just yet, but giving her a general idea wouldn’t hurt. 

Derpy cocked her head and frowned at that, “What? Why would you think that? I think you’re a nice pony, err, bug... changeling. You're a nice changeling, I think everypony would like you if you gave them the chance to know you!” She insisted, but Zach shook his head. 

‘On second thought,’ Zach considered, ‘it may be better to keep it vague for now.’ He sighed and said, “Its complicated, Derpy. I’ll explain it to you sometime, but for right now, lets leave it at 'ponies won't like me if they see me'. I need you to promise you won't tell anyone about what I really am, can you do that for me? Please?"

Derpy nodded her head a few times, "I'll pinkie swear it!"

"Nononono, don't incite the pink one please, that's not necessary." Zach quickly interjected. "Just regular promising me is good enough, ok?"

"Ok! I promise! No bugpony or changelings here, just my new friend, Käfer!"

"Fantastic. Well now that that's dealt with, I’m getting hungry again, I’m exhausted, and I don’t know what to do for food.”

The mare scratched her chin with a quick thought, “Well if you eat love, then that’s easy!” Then, without hesitating, Derpy lunged forward and embraced Zach in a hug. “Looooove!”

Zach’s brain went haywire, shaking and screaming internally in outrage and anxious fits of fear. ‘Get off, stop, off! Get off me, OFF! DERPY! OFF!!!’ He tried to speak, but no words would come out. He squeezed his eyes shut and fought against himself to get a hold of things, despite every thought in his head focused in on the fact that she was touching him still.

Nothing else registered in his head, besides the urge to react, to push her away, to scream, to cry… nothing, until the alien part of his mind made itself known in the chaos. The changeling part. It took hold and brought his focus, at least some of it, to what was now in front of his nose.

Food.

His body inhaled, and the familiar scent hit his nose, and the flavor hit his tongue. It wasn’t love, but it was still food, something the changeling side of him registered as nourishment. Zach wasn’t in much of a position to do anything else, being overwhelmed mentally with this simple act of being embraced, such a simple and benign thing really, and yet it essentially crippled him. 

He didn’t decide to open his mouth and inhale, just as he didn’t selectively choose to do whatever it was his changeling horn was now doing… or at least that’s what he thought the warm, tingly sensation in his forehead and the part that wasn’t his forehead, was.

It was oddly calming, letting the changeling side of him do what it knew to do, feeling this new side of him going to work despite himself. He couldn’t stop it if he wanted to, but he didn’t want to stop it. He could taste the emotion again, it wasn’t as sweet as what he recalled from the diner, understandably so, but oh heavens was it still delicious! 

His mouth filled with the 'not-quite-liquid' substance once more, much quicker than what he’d managed at the diner, significantly more so. It took mere seconds before he had more than enough to ingest. It wasn’t love, but it was a close enough to be nutritious, and it was filling his belly far better than the scraps of love he pulled from the air back at the diner. The emotion was freely flowing around him, all he had to do was drink it in…

“O-oh! Agh!” Derpy released Zach and recoiled as if she’d touched a hot stove, with a fearful expression on her face.

Zach’s heart dropped like a rock, his senses returning to him like a train careening into the station at top speed, “Wh- oh crap, did I hurt you!? I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t mean to!" His breath caught in his throat and he took a step back, spewing his words a mile a minute. "It’s just, it was there, the emotion, you were hugging me, and I was panicking, I couldn’t stop myself! I’m so sorry!”

Derpy stopped and eyed him, her fearful expression traded for one of puzzlement, “...Huh? Hurt me? No, Käfer, no you didn’t hurt me.”

“I didn’t? Then… why’d you yank away like that?" Zach grimaced, having feared the worst in that instance. "I thought maybe I was hurting you or…” 

“I-I forgot, you don’t like to be touched…" she interrupted, "I’m sorry..”

The two of them stood there in an awkward silence that lasted for a solid minute. Zack staring in disbelief and confusion, Derpy staring with visible concern for Zach's wellbeing.

“I..” Zach started, “You… what?”

“You said you don’t like being touched, it makes you uncomfortable, you told me back in the woods. You said it wasn’t a phobia, but…” Derpy bit her lower lip and dragged her hoof over the carpeting with uncertainty. "You froze up, I-I thought maybe you did have a phobia and I was scaring you."

“Oh, um… hey, that's not what-- Look, I...” Truthfully, he did have something of a panic attack back there. It was a bit of a big deal, and his heart was still racing. That being said, she also managed to feed him just now, even if it didn’t make a lot of sense to him. ‘What the heck was I doing? That wasn't love, the bug part of my brain could tell that much. How was I-- wait, what if Changelings don’t just feed on love specifically? What if they can eat other emotions too? Affection, I think that’s what that was just now. I fed on direct affection... are they able to feed on other positive social emotions too? I can work with this! I mean, I still hate it, but I can make it work.’

"I'm sorry." Derpy offered her apology again.

“Derpy, you did actually feed me, just now." Zach paused and corrected himself, "You don't need to apologize, I'm ok. More than ok.” The mechanics for how he fed still eluded him, but he was confident he’d be able to figure that out in time.

“I did?” The mare asked with confusion in her voice.

"Yes, you did!"

Her smile returned, “Oh, that’s great! I’m happy it worked, and that I didn’t make you super upset or anything…”

Zach forced a chuckle and did his best to shoo away the lingering thoughts of outrage and panic, “No, nonono, I’m not upset, its fiiine!” He stopped and quickly added, “Just, uh, gimme a warning next time, yeah?” he punctuated that with a faux grin.

“Sure! Promise!” Derpy offered in return.

Zach forced a more sincere smile to finish things off.

A few minutes passed in silence, Derpy giggled and scuffed at the carpet idly, “Well… if that’s everything, I should head back downstairs and have dinner myself. just give me a shout if you need anything else at all!”

"Ok, fair." Zach quipped with a nod. He considered calling it a night then and there. ‘It's pretty early to be going to bed… but I guess I’m tired enough to sleep. Might put an end to this crazy adventure, who knows.’

He turned to look at the bed, then a distinct something came to his attention before he could take a single step. A very specific need…

“Uh.. Derpy, real quick, where’s your bathroom?”

“Oh, right.” Derpy pointed a hoof, nonchalantly, “Across the hall.”

“Thank you!”

…

Zach left the bathroom, emitting an audible huff. “So that’s how they handle ‘that’, interesting… I never would have guessed. Well, not that I’d ever want to guess. At least Changelings aren't that different from horses, or humans in that regard, that's a relief I guess.” Much like everything else he’d seen in terms of furniture, the bathroom was similar enough to the ones back home that he didn’t have any trouble with anything.

Alone now in the spare bedroom, he looked over the bed he’d been given to sleep on, while taking note of some of the other furniture. There was a nightstand, a dresser, a chair, and several loose bits of furniture that were unused and looked like they hadn’t ever been used.

Without further ado, Zach stretched with a groan and climbed into the bed.

He fumbled about with positioning for a solid minute and a half, or maybe longer. Normally he’d just plop onto his back, but the distinctly equine physique, even as flexible as it was, didn’t allow him to assume such a position. Mostly, because of his wings. “Ok I need to figure out how to get these things to fold up into my shell or whatever, if this body even has a shell… it should have a shell, if its gonna have insect wings and that obviously shell looking portion on my back. I just gotta figure out how all this works… Assuming I’m still here in the morning.”

He stared at the ceiling for a moment before adding, “Shoot, if I am still here in the morning, I’m gonna have a lot more to figure out than just this changeling crap…”

Zach eventually found a comfortable position, laying on his side with his wings aimed upward in relation to his body, resting flat as they could get on the bed. The rest of him fell into place quite easily, as he expected, and he now had time to think while he waited for sleep to take him.

‘Well, I’m a changeling, I’m in Equestria… I’m staying with the Ponyville mailmare, in Ponyville.. I’m about to witness the “return of Nightmare moon” and the pilot episode firsthand… in however this weird replica of Equestria sees fit to have those events play out. That’s assuming I’m still here in the morning. I know how to feed, rather, I have a method of feeding, so I won’t starve anytime soon. I have shelter, I have a place to hide, and I can keep myself more or less hidden in plain sight with Derpy’s disguise. I can make this work, I guess.’

Zach breathed a heavy sigh. ‘Really not liking the whole “bug horse parasite in magical friendship ponyland” thing so far. Can I get off this ride now? Or, I dunno, figure out how to fly and change shape so I can actually do things? Flying would be pretty great. I’d be more forgiving of being stuck here if I could fly.’

The way he saw it, either he would wake up to his alarm in the morning, in his own bed, and have one crazy dream to explain to his therapist next time he saw them… or he was in for one hell of an unexpected adventure.

‘Be careful what you wish for, they said. It could come true, they said. Little did they know, they were actually right! It just takes five or six friggin years for the magic to happen! Oh boy, thanks for the advice!’ Zach bit out in his mind in a spiteful, mocking fashion.

‘Ugh.. Whatever, it is what it is.’ He took a deep breath and did his best to relax, closing his eyes and hoping for the best.

A few moments later, Zach's eyes shot open and he swore a colorful expletive aloud, followed by, "I should have just said my name was Beetle!"

…