//------------------------------// // The End // Story: Odd One Out // by Holy //------------------------------// A dim ray of light spilled through Wallflower's living room window as she stared out of it. Her limp form had been sprawled across her couch for who knows how long now. Her crossed arms supported her chin against the back of her seat as her blurred eyes stared meaninglessly into the overcast grays of the sky scarred by the dead, waving, brown branches as they thrashed about in the wind. The stiffness and aching of her entire body was the only thing that reminded her she was even alive anymore. Pain was only a gentle reminder for her and her usual distraction had lost its effect. Wallflower's eyes flicked up to unconsciously check the clouds. Her tired eyes didn't really care what time it was anymore, but she still had to wonder if it was morning or evening anymore, since at this point she couldn't tell if she'd just gotten two hours of sleep or sixteen. Either way she ended up exhausted, so in the end it didn't matter all that much. All that mattered now was that she was still trapped in this world, frozen and stiff on the couch as her mind planned out the end. The snap. It was all she could think about in between the wounding whispers of the truth tearing at her. The final snap she'd ever have to hear at the end of the rope... it was like fantasizing about a much-needed beach vacation for anyone else. The entire world had melted away for her and the only thing she could ever imagine wanting anymore was the wet crack of her own bones and the subsequent darkness that would finally take her away. Every time her mind drifted away from the fantasy, it flooded her with the memories of her endless misery: all the days spent alone and ignored, all the nights spent dragging a razor across her body just to have a few minutes of peace, all the friends she thought she made that only ever threw her away when they found someone more interesting, and the friend she just threw away after almost killing her... 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　It was for the best 　　　　　　　　　　　She'll be better off without me 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Sunset will be so much happier with me dead 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Everyone will be happier... I'd only ever mess things up more 　　　　　　　　　　　All my friendships will end with them hating me 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　The world will be a better place with me gone Wallflower took in a breath as her vision unfocused yet again. She wondered how many more breaths she'd have to take today before it was finally over. Not too many more, hopefully. She wanted to hop up off the couch and finally just get it over with, to finally satisfy the urge. She had fantasized about every little step she'd take for so long now and now the only thing left in her plan was to execute it, but calling on her body to do anything right now was a struggle. Wallflower could only take in a deep breath as she settled deeper into the couch. Every attempt at movement was like trying to send a message by mail to an unresponsive recipient halfway across the country. She could hardly even feel her body any longer, and now even her own presence in this world felt like it was a million miles away, being watched from another dimension behind a barrier where she no longer had control. Finally, Wallflower managed to flex her wrist, sending a jolt of pain through her body that slammed her consciousness back into her body. It was almost time. Wallflower glanced down at the pile of rope sitting beside her on the couch—the dull, brown strands snaked around itself until it finally culminated in a wrapped section holding a loop. The noose was easy enough to learn how to make before she passed out whenever she had. Amazing the things you can manage to do when you finally have a purpose. With her sudden lucidity, Wallflower pushed herself off of the couch and somehow managed to keep steady on her feet. The empty shell of her body felt numb and unresponsive outside of her wrist. After so many hours of letting the little truths drag her away from this world, pushing her closer towards oblivion, she hardly even felt present anymore. The awkward shambling of her shoes against the carpet broke the silence as she made her way into her room and flipped on the light. The sudden, intense brightness stuck daggers into her aching mind and she had to wince away as her closed eyes acclimated. Each time she blinked for a moment the array of colors in her room only aggravated the headache building in her mind from the lack of sleep. Wallflower could only put this off for so long though. As much as the distant hint of nervousness clawed at her stomach through the void, she didn't want to leave forever without this one last thing. The carpet welcomed Wallflower as she slowly settled her aching body to the floor. It was a meaningless comfort to wrap her arms around her knees and hold them tightly to her chest, but she gave it to herself anyway for the moment to come. She lethargically looked around the assortment of junk, trinkets, and pictures she'd set up on the floor and on her desk, the typically messy top filled with papers and folders now adorning all of the little things that held the better memories of her life: her favorite dolls and toys from her childhood, little plastic animals that she spent so many hours pretending with, little lego creations she was proud enough of to never take apart, an assortment of stuffed animals that brought a happy smile on scary nights, and even tiny figures made out of twigs, pipe cleaners, and popsicle sticks she'd made with a girl she was best friends with in first grade. Wallflower let out a tired sigh; that girl had probably forgotten about her long ago. Pictures of vacations she'd been on with her dad, pictures of her in a group of kids where she tried so hard to be a part of some club to make friends, pictures of she'd printed out the few times she got invited to do things with Sunset... they all sat up against the legs and against books she had stacked up, painting a picture of times in her life when she knew how to smile. Along with everything else sat an assortment of what would probably be junk to anyone else: an old, stiff dog collar from the one friend that was always happy to see her in her childhood, a stack of birthday and holiday cards from her grandparents and extended family she never could bring herself to throw away, a random bottlecap from an adventure she had with some other kids during a summer camp, the broken handle from a plastic shovel she used to plant her first flower, a bunch of crumpled papers filled with silly notes she passed back and forth with a boy in sixth grade, a broken charm bracelet her dad bought for her... just to name a few sentimental pieces that were scattered across the floor now. In the center of it all, the drawing Sunset did of the both of them in their little superhero costumes—a sweet reminder of the last person that ever really tried for her. Wallflower looked over all of them, a lump forming in her throat as she did her best to enjoy the happy memories flooding into her mind. Each memory that had even an inkling of joy pulled her a little closer to reality as she closed her eyes and tried to take herself back to that place. She could never quite come back though, as the quick flashes and sudden feelings quickly faded into an endless void and her mind struggled to concentrate or visualize anything. A hint of frustration yelled through the fog as she desperately tried to feel those joys again. She wanted to let out an irritated groan at her own swarming thoughts, but she opened her eyes to find tears streaming out of them instead. Wallflower touched her face to feel the sudden wetness as the drops stained her cheeks. She could sense the sorrow gripping at her body—all the lost time and lost memories filling her with a somber realization that it was over—but Wallflower couldn't really feel any of it. Her body worked of its own accord to mourn the life she could have had, but her, her consciousness, it could only sit back and watch as her body went through the motions. The disconnect brought with it an uncomfortable confusion as she watched herself cry over her favorite memories and the fact that she'd never make anymore again. It was like looking at herself through a wall of glass, stretching out infinitely only to focus in on the body she once occupied. The emptiness filled her yet again as she tried to focus in on the tears as they fell, reminding her that she might as well already be dead. In a little while it wouldn't make much of a difference anyway. Once the little display of all her lost joy had been properly etched into her mind, Wallflower did her best to convince her body to finally get up. Wasting time would only give her more excuses to chicken out again, to be stuck here under the torture of her own reminders even longer. Not wanting to waste another second to face that reality again, Wallflower slowly climbed up her desk, giving one last glance at the suicide note she'd been trying to properly work out for months now. The handwritten note was adorned with hundreds of apologies for not being good enough, for all the stupid things she'd done over the years to push people away, telling everyone how this would be a good thing in the end, and well-wishes and apologies to the last friend she ever had. Wallflower figured Sunset would've liked to hear that she did brighten up her life, at least a little—it was the least she could do after wasting so much of Sunset's time on a lost cause. With her final preparations checked, Wallflower solemnly and silently walked over to the couch and scooped up her length of rope in her arms. She pushed open the sliding back door and didn't bother to close it behind her. Part of her screamed to stay, to not let this be the last time she left the comfort of her home forever, but she knew better than to listen. The wood of their covered deck creaked as she stepped out onto it and felt that rush of cold wind flow in and brush her hair off of her shoulders. It was finally time; Wallflower knew this time she wouldn't be coming back. Wallflower did her best to ignore the memories of her childhood flooding back to tempt her away. All the things she and her Dad had talked about back there, all the times they'd played together when she was just a kid, they all tugged at her mind, trying to distract her from her last mission. Wallflower's distant expression barely budged as she took her first step into the leaves, adding a resounding crunch to the howl of the wind through the barren trees. Wallflower took in a deep breath, her tired eyes tracing up to the bare limbs scratching against the sky with their gnarled and empty tips. The world was nothing but dull and empty greys and browns anymore and it seemed fitting that she'd never be able to see them bloom again. Wallflower followed her familiar path through the woods. It was only a five-minute walk to the tree she'd spent so much of her life simply staring at. Her mind found a new purpose in thinking about how she'd handle everything. The strongest branch was only a few steps away up the knots in the trunk, and just high enough to make sure the drop would do the trick. Wallflower knew exactly where she was going to put the knot, exactly where she was going to jump, and exactly where her body was going to hang until someone had the misfortune of finding her. A pang of guilt whispered somewhere in her body at the thought, but she was way too numb by now to even properly register it. There was only one thing she was really worried about anymore. The woods around Wallflower were completely silent aside from the crunching of the leaves under her feet and the wind straining against the limbs as they swayed in the air. Her mind nipped at her with every step, trying to tear her down with those awful truths, but the fantasy dominated her mind. Every step brought her closer to that final snap, the very last thing she'd ever have to see as the force of her body trying to meet the ground finally took her away. It's all she ever wanted to think about anymore, the only thing that brought her any relief. Her body walked almost as if on autopilot towards her final destination. In a few minutes it would finally be over and Wallflower couldn't bear to waste another second. The tree in question finally came into view, it's thick branch stemming out from another in contrast from the taller trunks around it. The sight brought a subtle sense of relief to her as Wallflower sorted out the rope in her hands. She stared down at the fibers in her grasp, her heart speeding up as the reality of it started to dawn on her. This was really happening this time. It would finally be over. She stretched out the rope and did her best to sling it over the right place in the branch. Her feeble, trembling arms didn't feel the most cooperative, giving herself a little time to tear at herself as she pulled in the rope after it slumped into the leaves yet again. Panic teased the edges of her stomach with the building frustration of every throw, but once the rope finally swung in place over the branch, the emptiness returned to set her back on her mission. Today had to be the day. No messing up this time. Wallflower made her all-too-familiar climb up the stumps sticking out of the trunk, the gnarled, sharp wood on the first step sending a little pain through her shoe to keep her focused. There were only subtle whispers of the emotions her body should be feeling anymore: anxiety wanted to rattle her as she looked down to the leaves below, imagining the drop and the pain that could come with it, but Wallflower didn't care anymore. Her eyes focused in on the lump in the branch, her fingers twisting the rope around to make sure it would remain tight. It was a little close to the tree, but what difference would it make if her body bounced against it? Would still get it done. It was only a job anymore. The emotion, the panic, the fear... it was all worlds away as her deadpan expression stared at her hand tugging at the rope to make sure it would hold. Only one more thing to check. Wallflower made the journey back down the tree to check her own measurements. Wasn't the first time she's been out here, and she knew almost everything she needed to make this perfect. Her feet crunched the leaves underneath her as she came back to the earth, her eyes centered on that dull, brown loop joining the mangled limbs in scarring the sky. Wallflower leaned up on her tiptoes to check if her chin could reach the bottom of the rope. Thankfully not. The height was tall enough, the rope far enough off the ground... should be instant. She only needed one last climb. Somewhere deep in the back of her mind, a voiced screamed to stop, to think about what this would mean and all she would leave behind, but Wallflower ignored it. Her flat expression refused any emotion as she climbed her way back up the tree with the end of the rope in her hand. The only thing she could feel in the vast emptiness of the shell that had once been her was relief, relief that the torture of the last few years was finally going to be over. Wallflower looked down into the dead browns and greys of the ground one last time before slipping the noose over her neck and pulling it tight behind her. A weak sense of panic tried to seize her at the feeling of the scratchy strands against her throat, but they fell on an uncaring mind. Wallflower did her best to remind herself of the pain of these last few years, the endless rows of tears across her forearms the only thing that ever gave her any relief. The last panicked cries from the side of her that didn't want to do this were quelled in the horrible memories. This would be a good thing for everyone in the end and Wallflower closed her eyes to do her best to internalize that. It was finally time. The sound of the soft brushing of the wind against the trees faded out of existence as Wallflower lost herself completely. The world became black static as she let out her final, shaky breath into the uncaring world. She could almost hear the void calling her name as her senses faded away. She took the last step off of the tree and felt the sudden fear of the drop as her body fell through the air, but it was finally here. The last thoughts shot through her mind in the fall, ushering her to the other side at the end of that snap. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　It's finally over 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　It was time 　　　　　　　　Everyone will be so much better without me 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　My last favor to the world 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Goodbye... Pain. It wasn't supposed to hurt. It was supposed to be over in an instant and she'd be gone forever. The sudden, intense pain of something smashing against her tailbone caused her entire spine to stiffen with the intense jolt. The instant snap she'd fantasized about for so long never came—in its place was a harsh jerk against her neck that felt like it crushed something integral and stretched out even more. Panic quickly seized Wallflower's entire body as the searing pain of the rope scratching into her throat and crushing any attempt to breathe became her whole world. Brown spots spread across her vision and the world threatened to slip away as she desperately clawed at the strands strangling her. She twisted and thrashed in the air, but for some reason she couldn't sway at all. Then she felt it; hands darted around her lower body and she could hear the panicked cries of someone underneath her. The noose was too tight for anyone to do anything from the ground at this point, so all Wallflower could do was grip at the rope as the air refused to enter her lungs. Tears quickly formed at the edge of her blurring vision as she violently jerked at both of the ends grabbing at her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a blue hand reach towards her from the tree, slipping a few fingers under the rope and haphazardly yanking it away from her chin. Finally, the harsh grip against her neck gave way and Wallflower fell backward onto the earth again. The meeting of her back with the dirt sent another harsh wave of pain through her body, but she cried out in agony at the feeling of something sharp jutting out of the dirt making contact with her skull. She felt the splitting of skin, but the pain quickly dulled as her blurred vision watched the stars the impact made dance in the clouds. Wallflower did her best to take in a breath as the edges of her vision darkened, but nothing would come. Intense pain shot through her throat at every attempt to breathe and her limbs slowly lost their ability to move at all. The last, blurry vision should make out was that familiar head of red and yellow hair crawling towards her, a harsh grimace on her face and a limp arm hanging at her side. She crawled over to Wallflower's form, lifting her head up to face those panicked teal eyes. She'd never seen Sunset so scared before, but Wallflower couldn't bring herself to react. As the world faded away, she could only see Sunset looking down at her like a scared child might a dying pet. The colors of the world blended together as Wallflower's consciousness faded. The dull red of Sunset's waving hair over her was met with a stark contrast of the bright red flowing freely down her arm and spreading over Wallflower's sweater. Whose blood was that? Wallflower looked down to try to see, but her throat sent a searing pain through her neck, reminding her that breathing wasn't something she could do anymore. Wallflower let her head fall back into Sunset's hand as the edges of her vision turned dark. Sensations slowly faded, and she could hardly even comprehend anything any longer. Sunset barked something out into the woods, but it was like trying to listen to something from the bottom of the lake. The dull greys of the overcast sky were all that was left of the world as darkness closed in on her vision... but there was something else at the end. A leaf. A hint of green in the dull, barren sky. The last holdout of a harsh Autumn. The last tint of color from the world before it all faded to black.