//------------------------------//
// Chapter 4: Johan Totally Sucks 
// Story: The Side Character is a Deer - Legacy Edition 
// by Deergenerate 
//------------------------------//

Derek sang to himself as he shampooed his mane in his giant shower, which was large enough to fit five ponies comfortably. It was an old human song, unknown to the ponies of Equestria, but one would recognize it as a much more upbeat version of 'Crawling' by Linkin Park. 

After being satisfied with his washing, Derek turned off the shower and stepped at. He smiled and snapped his talons, pointing at a reflection of himself stepping out of the shower making the exact same pose. Except it wasn't a mirror, it was a painting. 

Derek's horn sparked and he was instantly dried and his hair was instantly perfected into the vaguely messy style he loved. He smirked as he opened his door and prepared to walk out, only to come face to face with a small purple dragon who stared up at him with an angry look on his face, arms crossed in front of his chest. 

Derek took to the air in fright, dropping into a battle pose and sparking his horn. He stared down at the Dragon for a second before sighing. 

"Sorry, my guy. You startled me, man." Derek said settling down back on the floor. "Anything I can do for you? Autograph maybe? Uh... how did you even get in here?" 

"Your front door was unlocked," Spike said, not stopping his icy glare into Derek's soul.

"Oh, heheh, yeah, I am not used to people trying to break in, guess locking the door kind of slipped my mind," Derek said with a laugh. 

Spike's frown deepened. "I had a little talk with Johan earlier." He growled, his eyes narrowing. 

Derek blinked twice. "You did? Uh... what did he say if I might ask?" 

"Oh nothing much," Spike said walking away, hopping up onto a couch in the living room that was attached to the bathroom Derek had chosen to use today. One of a dozen. "Only that while you've been living in an opulent mansion with your every needs magically fulfilled almost instantly, Johan has to live in a tiny shack nearby that doesn't even half a bathroom, or heating during the winter. That and the fact that you literally refuse to let him leave town."

Derek's arrogant persona instantly disappeared, replaced by one of concern, disappointment, and disapproval. He sighed and walked into the room, taking a seat on another couch. 

"I think I can explain everything. I swear it is not as bad as Johan makes it out to be..." Derek mumbled to himself as he snapped a talon. Instantly, two teacups magically filled themselves in the kitchen and floated up into either of their hands. 

"Are you sure? Because it looks really bad from where I am sitting." Spike growled as he set his tear aside on a nearby end table. Instantly the teacup raised into the air, a coaster flying directly under it, before the teacup set itself back down. 

"I guess I'll start with the easier option first," Derek said taking a sip of his tea, before setting it aside. It too was given a coaster. "Tell me, what do you know about deer?" 

Spike froze. "L-less than I should, considering I am friends with one..." 

"I know I don't look like the type," Derek started, "But I am quite the avid reader. I have studied alot about this world's races, and let me tell you this."

Derek leaned it. "Deer are, I'm sorry to say, pathetic. For starters, they don't have magic, any at all. Usually when a race has no magic like the gryphons or yaks, they make up for it somehow, like the gryphons with the ability to fly and hands, or the yaks with their freakishly high strength. Not as strong as me of course though." 

Derek laughed at his own joke, which was only funny to him. It just made Spike frown more. 

"Deer don't have either of that though," Derek continued, resuming his serious tone. "Deer are weak and tiny and... helpless. I mean, look at Earth Ponies. They also can't do any spells. But they make up for it with their abilities with working the earth, alongside their cutie marks with making them automatic masters at whatever they are supposed to do. Deer can't do that, which means they will always be upstaged in whatever they want to do by any pony who does it. Do I even need to bring up what it's like in the Deer Kingdom? Let me tell you, that it isn't pretty. It involves lots of trouble with their neighbors the elk."

Derek shook his head. 

"If Johan tried to make it on his own, he would be crushed at every opportunity by other races. Earth Ponies will always be better at physical work, Pegasi will always upstage him with their ability to fly, and do I even need to mention what Unicorns could do? He'd never be able to get a job to provide for himself? Do you think that cottage is bad? Imagine him living on the street. That isn't even counting what other races might do. A dragon or a gryphon might try to eat him, and an elk would one hundred percent try to enslave him if they ever crossed paths. He can't make it alone. He just can't." 

Spike frowned at him, standing up. "Well, what if he wants to take that chance, without you dictating everything in his life? Huh?" He shouted suddenly, quickly covering his mouth afterward. 

Derek stopped and sighed. "I just want to take care of him ok? If anything, anything at all, happened to him and I couldn't keep him safe, I'd never be able to forgive myself. Did I ever tell you that Johan and I got to Equestria after a car crash?"

"Well, you did say that, but you never told me what a car is..." Spike replied sitting down. 

"I'll explain later, but I was the one driving that car, ok. I got us both killed. And we didn't die at the same time." Derek said standing up. "I survived for a couple of minutes after the crash, and when I saw Johan lying there, limp and covered in blood, and I realized that I did that to him... I..." 

Derek turned away and stopped for a couple of seconds. He cleared his throat and sat back down, steeling himself. "I promised myself that if I was given a second chance, nothing like that would ever happen to him again. Not a single scratch." 

Spike was quiet for a long time afterward. He sighed. "Maybe you should just tell Johan that..." 

Derek shook his head. "I just can't. I... I don't know what to tell him, ok?" 

Spike scoffed. "Why not? Just tell him what you told me, it's that easy."

Derek slammed his claws down, standing up. "How am I supposed to look someone I got killed in the eyes and tell him that I think it's my fault huh?" 

Spike bit his tongue. He really didn't have an answer. 

Derek stood up and started to walk out of the room. "Maybe you should leave. I don't want to talk about this anymore." He said as he slammed the door behind him. Spike got up and rushed after him to try and continue the conversation, but instead, there was a flash of light and he suddenly found himself outside of the front door of Derek's mansion.

This time the doors were locked.