The next day was a pleasant one, as was to be expected in my new existence as a house pet. After a scrumptious morning repast of canned dog food, which consisted of chicken glazed with gravy and bits of vegetables, Fluttershy let me outside for an hour of running, jumping, and rolling. Who knew that tumbling and splaying oneself in the grass could be such an enjoyable experience? Angel, of course, was wary of me, keeping his distance whilst watching my every move but that didn't matter to me. I was living in the lap of luxury and would revel in it for long as I was able to.
Was this what it meant to be mortal?
Now yes, I realize the fact that I and many of the gods perishing during Ragnarök calls our divinity into question. After all, is a god that can bleed and even die really a god? The truth is, other than extraordinary abilities, extended lifespans, slowed aging, and, in the case of my siblings and I, unique appearances, we are no different than the humans that worshiped the Æsir and Vanir and spread our myths across Midgard. The gods are merely what humanity wishes it could be: powerful, wise, beautiful, strong, clever, exceedingly wealthy. Unlike other pantheons, they didn't want their followers to prostrate themselves pitifully before them and moan about what petty desires they wanted or beg forgiveness for perceived slights.
I suppose I admired the gods of Asgard and Vanaheim, even the likes of Odin the Know-It-All and Thor the Dim-Witted. Sounds strange, I know but just because you loathe someone-or several someones that kept you captive for a few millennia-that doesn't mean that it's insane for you to feel some respect towards them. Even if they did keep you chained up for millennia.
"Fen, come here, please!"
One ear swiveled as I detected Fluttershy's sweet voice summoning me and like a loyal pup, I heeded her call. I leapt up to my paws and scampered as quickly as I could, through the grass, past the disapproving glare of Angel, and up to the front door of the modest cottage that I called home.
Huh. "Home." Such a strange word to use, even if just in my mind.
Fluttershy was gathering some dog toys into a basket and humming a melody.
I really liked her humming. It reminded me of Mother.
"Oh, there you are!" Fluttershy beamed and the world seemingly became brighter.
"What's up?" I asked a bit too enthusiastically, my tail wagging a million miles per hour.
"Don't you remember? Today's the play date at Sweet Apple Acres."
I grimaced internally. Yes, this was indeed the day that I had to attend a "play date," which was apparently a mundane ritual where pets are forced to interact in the hot sun while their owners chatted in the shade about...whatever it is that these ponies talk about. Wait, did I just admit that I was a pet? Hel, I was going native, wasn't I?
"Oh, very nice," I managed behind a fake smile. "I can't wait."
"Then there's no time to lose. Let's get going!"
We strolled out the door and past the various beasts and birds that made up Fluttershy's usual entourage, that being squirrels, chipmunks, badgers, and other small critters, with the added presence of various birds and even a bear. It was funny that they always appeared to inhabit Fluttershy's lawn 24/7 and I believed it was due to a lack of activity in their own lives. They all waved Fluttershy off and I couldn't help but be touched by the affection they had for my owner. Then it occurred to me that, with an army of every animal imaginable, she could easily take over this world and rule as the Queen of Nature. I may be domesticated but I still had some semblance of my prior barbarism, and that included the occasional blood-soaked flights of fancy.
Angel soon joined us, bounding along as fast as his tiny legs could carry him.
"Wait, slow down!"
"I'm sorry, Angel," Fluttershy apologized. "I'd carry you but there's no room on my back." Sure enough, she was carrying her saddlebags plus a burlap sack and the aforementioned basket.
The rodent then flashed me a devious grin. "What if Fen carried me?"
You smug little bastard...
"Well, um, i-if Fen didn't mind. Do you, Fen?"
If I wanted to continue to curry favor with my owner, then I'd have to swallow my pride every once in a while.
I gave her a toothy grin. "It's no problem," I muttered through my teeth.
Pumping a tiny fist, Angel wasted no time, leaping onto my back and mounting me the way a human might mount a horse. He even had the gall to dig his heels into my sides and point ahead of him.
"Onward, dog!"
Every fiber of my being demanded that I tore him apart but I ignored those impulses and we continued on our way. Aside from the occasional heel-jab to my ribs, the walk was uneventful, pleasant even. We soon made our way to a rustic little tract of farmland populated by rows upon rows of apple trees. The apples themselves were, at least, appearance-wise, all shiny and ripe-looking, nothing short of perfection. I idly wondered what Idunn would think of this place.
We soon neared what I would later learn was the Apple family homestead, where Fluttershy's friends and their pets were gathered. There was an owl, a turtle, a dog, a cat, and some sort of long-muzzled scaly thing with a dead-eyed stare. Their owners waved us over and Fluttershy trotted on ahead, giving me the opportunity to shake Angel loose, causing him to fall flat on his stupid little face in a cloud of dust. I stepped over his dirtied form and peered at him innocently.
"Oops."
He lifted his head up and glared.
"I'll remember this!"
"I hope you do," I retorted and skipped towards the house.
Yes, skipped. Shut up.
At the sound of my approach, Fluttershy quickly scooped me up and carried me to the front of the porch. The other ponies all bore big smiles on their faces at the sight of me. It was a tad creepy.
"Hi there, Fen," Twilight greeted. "Hmm, is it just me, or have you grown?"
"He looks th' same t' me," Applejack noted.
Fluttershy inspected me. "Well, he does look at least a little bigger, maybe half an inch?"
She deposited me in front of the assembled pets. I'll have to admit, I hate being put on the spot.
"Everyone, this is Fen. Say hi!"
"Um, h-hello."
The owl was the first to greet me, speaking in a posh Englope accent.
"How do you do, young master Fen? I am Owlowicious." He swept a wing at his companions, introducing them one at a time. "This is Winona, Tank, Opalescence, and Gummy."
"Hey there, li'l fella. Ah'm Winona, er 'Winnie' if ya prefer."
I was petrified in place. Winona. Such a lovely name. Her manner of speaking, although simplistic, was oddly charming and her voice was soft and bell-like. Actually, the more I looked, the more I realized how attractive she was. Sure, she was technically older than me, around seven or eight years old, but she was still quite the looker. Despite the jotunn blood coursing through my veins, I am a canine and thus I am attracted to other members of my species. What else am I supposed to mate with, a pony?
I swallowed. "H-hello."
She must've noticed my enamored staring because her friendly expression transformed into one of uncomfortable confusion. The turtle-Tank-waddled up to me and gave me a lazy smile.
"I'm Tank. It's a pleasure to meet you," the turtle enunciated in a high-pitched voice. "Hey Opal, aren't you going to introduce yourself? It's common courtesy, right?"
The cat merely peered at him through a half-lidded stare of bored condescension. I really don't get why Freya loves these things so much. They're lazy, self-absorbed, overbearing, and above all, useless animals. Dogs at least can shepherd livestock or guard the homestead. Even pigs have more of a purpose than cats do.
"Oh, I suppahse eef I must," Opalescence, or Opal said dismissively. She was evidently Prench, or at the very least, thought she was. "Bonne après-midi, petit doggie. I ahm Opalescence Labelle," she postured, putting extra emphasis on the La. "Ahnd you hahve ze hahnor of being grahced weeth my presence. Lucky you."
"Yeah...lucky me. Thanks for that."
"You're quite welcahme," Opal replied, not a hint of sarcasm or self-awareness in her conceited tone.
The others either cringed or rolled their eyes at this so I knew this was her default setting. I could see why they took her for being a raging bitch. She had a snooty way about her, a pretentiousness that just wasn't normal around here. She puffed her chest out, like a king who thought his excrement smelled like roses, like nothing nor no one could ever be able to crack that thick head of hers and tell her that she wasn't as great as she thought she was. Yeah, I think it would be fair to say...I hated Opal from the start.
"As always, you are a shining beacon of humility and subtlety."
The speaker was that weird reptile-thing, the one with the huge, unblinking eyes and never-wavering gaze. Those eyes...it was if they were peering into my soul, devouring my very being with their scrutiny. I was simultaneously mystified and unruffled that Pinkie would have such a creature as her companion animal. Ignoring the oddity of the previous remark, I maintained my facade of friendliness.
"Riiight. You're Gummy...right?"
"That's what Pinkie Pie designated me as."
"She wants to throw me a party for some reason."
"She's a sweetheart, always doing her best to provide others with mirth and enjoyment."
"Oui, she ahlso gives ze best bahck rubs," Opal interjected. "When hair hooves ahren't cahvered een gleettair ahnd cahnfetti, zat ees."
One day, I am going to devour you...
"That's splendid, old chum." Owlowicious patted my foreleg with a wing and I jumped slightly from the contact. "I do hope I can be there. I rather enjoy a shindig or two."
"The punch is the best part," Tank droned. "Especially the kind that makes the room spin."
"Ah love Pinkie Pie's parties!" Winona beamed. "Well, when Ah'm in attendance, obviously. Ah can guarantee yer gonna have a good time."
I smirked at her and leaned forward. "I will...if you're there."
Winona slid me away from her with a paw, a blush adorning her cheeks.
"Yeah, why don't ya give it a couple o' years an' then try the flirtin' again?"
Ooo, she was playing hard to get. That's fine. All the fun is in the chase anyway.
"Hey."
None other than Angel stood behind me, arms crossed and bits of dirt clinging to his snow-white fur.
"I finally got most of the dirt out. Now I'll have to get a bath. I hate baths."
"Fahr wance, you ahnd I ahre een ahgreement."
Angel gave Opal a quick glare before returning his ire to me.
"You're up to something. I know it. And when I find out-..."
Winona shook her head. "Oh give it uh rest, Angel! So yawl got uh liddel filthy. It's naw uh big deal."
"You're a dog! Of course it's not a big deal to you."
Winona's gaze narrowed. "An' what does tha' mean?"
"Friends, please, let's not do this," Owlowicious requested. "There's no need for unnecessary aggression."
"I ahgree. Let us behahve like ceevilized creatures ahnd leave ze bahrbareesm to ze wahlves."
Ah, there it was. A crack about wolves being beasts. I was actually expecting it sooner.
"Do you want to state that again?" I growled and bared my teeth at Opal, who screeched and hid behind Tank. "I'm two seconds away from chomping down on your pretentious fluffy hide!"
"Is everything okay here?"
Fluttershy was back and judging by her good mood, she was unaware of the recent goings-on and the tension surrounding us. I pulled back and once again became a good little pup, my tail wagging and my smile stretching ear to ear.
"Yes, we're all doing fine! Aren't we?"
"As 'fine' as we can be in an uncertain, chaotic universe," Gummy retorted.
Dammit Gummy...
I ignored this. "We're fine...here...now. How are you?"
"I'm good, thanks for asking! We're going to have lunch. Come on inside!"
The rest of the pets followed Fluttershy inside while Angel and I hung back.
"Just remember, I'm watching you. Always watching..."
He then hopped onto the porch and through the door.
I merely smirked.
"You do that, rodent."