//------------------------------// // Reports, Difficulty, and Pastry // Story: Consequences // by shallow15 //------------------------------// The call came as Tempest was driving across town to her next arrest. One that, she had to admit, she was looking forward to executing in light of Sunset Shimmer's escape. But that wasn't as much of a setback as it could have been. Shimmer was smart. She would have to know that STORM was moving on all her friends. There were very few places she could go. She'd turn up eventually. When her phone began to ring, Tempest tapped the “answer” icon on the car's dashboard display. Immediately she found herself listening to a cacophony of sounds. Some yells, some inexplicable crashes, and a few squelches of unknown origin. “This is Agent Shadow. What the hell is going on?” Tempest demanded. “Ma'am, this is Agent Sands, we're kinda... pinned down at the moment. The POI saw us coming and had time to prepare.” Tempest quickly ran through the assignments she handed out in her mind. Who did I send him after? A shrill voice came from the speakers. “YOU CAN TAKE MY PIES, BUT YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY FREEDOM!” Tempest nodded to herself. The pink one, right. But something didn't seem to add up here, given her impression of the girls so far. “Pinned down? She's armed?” “Um... not exactly, ma'am,” said Sands. “She doesn't have a gun or anything like that. She's got... pastries.” Tempest glanced at the dash in disbelief. “Pastries?” “Also cookies, pies, all the baked goods at this coffee shop. I don't know how she's doing it, but she's got an inexhaustible supply. She took down Agents Sticks and Stones with a tray of cinnamon rolls.” “EAT MY CREAMY FROSTING, SUCKERS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” There was another crash, and Sands came back on the line. “She got Agent Plants with the icing bag.” “IT'S FROSTING, YOU CRETIN! LEARN THE BASICS!” “And she's criticizing our knowledge of baking terms,” Sands added. Tempest refrained from letting out a groan. “Are you seriously telling me that you are being kept from executing your duties because of one teenage girl with baked goods?!” “Um... yes?” said Sands, dread evident in his voice. “Agent Sands, you have ten seconds to get that situation under control or I am going to personally see to it that you are manning our station at the South Pole by the end of the day!” Tempest felt her control finally snap. “I WILL MAIL YOU YOUR CLOTHES, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!” “Yes, ma'am!” “I'm staying on the line to ensure you do. Now get on with it!” Tempest came to a stop at a light and listened to the chaos coming over the line. “All right, what do we have to work with?” asked Sands. “Not much,” said another agent. “Somehow she gummed up the tasers and the tranq guns are stuffed with cupcakes.” Sands groaned. “Fine, we'll just have to rush her. Get everyone over here.” “YEAH,” came Pinkie Pie's voice. “THAT'S RIGHT! RUN! RUN! COWARDS!” “Where is she getting all that crap from?” came a new voice. “That damn display case is empty!” “I don't know and I don't care,” said Sands. “But we're going to put an end to it right now.” “I'VE GOT DAY OLD BAGELS, AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM!” “Maybe we should just let her tire herself out,” said the first unidentified voice. “She's been eating sugar in between throwing it at us for the last ten minutes, I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon, Crystal,” said Sands. “Damn,” said Crystal. “Well, if we're gonna do it, let's do it!” said the remaining voice. “I got an idea. We grab this table, get behind it and rush her. Should keep us shielded.” “Sounds good,” said Sands. “Let's do it.” “PASTRIES SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID OF THEIR GOVERNMENT! THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD BE AFRAID OF PASTRIES!” Tempest kept driving as the light turned green. On the phone, she heard a loud scraping sound, presumably the table, and some grunts of exertion. “You got it?” asked Sands. “Yeah!” replied Crystal. The remaining voice grunted in assent. “Okay,” said Sands. “On three. One... two... THREE!” The next few seconds were another loud mix of noise. Tempest heard screaming, day old bagels bouncing off laminated wood, the sound of furniture crashing into other furniture, Pinkie Pie letting out a yelp of surprise, and the agents barking orders to each other. “Get her hands!” “Where's her foot—OW!” “Put down the eclair, kid, it's over!” “NEVER! IF I GO DOWN, THIS ECLAIR GOES DOWN WITH ME!” Suddenly, there was a muffled “poof!” followed by a wet, splattering sound and a brief moment of silence. “Did she just make that eclair explode?” “Ummmm,” came Pinkie's voice. “Nope? It was a false flag?” Another moment of silence, then the sound of scuffling and Agent Sands came on the line. “The POI is detained, ma'am.” “Good,” said Tempest. “Get her secured, then move on to the next target.” Tempest ended the call without waiting for a reply. In the passenger seat, the other agent in the car glanced over at her. “I think that might be the weirdest arrest I've ever heard,” she said. Tempest glared at her out of the corner of her eye and kept driving. She really couldn't wait to get the hell out of this town.