//------------------------------// // Chapter 1: Life Totally Sucks // Story: The Side Character is a Deer - Legacy Edition // by Deergenerate //------------------------------// An explosion rocked the air over Ponyvile, as a burst of crimson red energy rocketed out of the horn of a black alicorn and into the chest of a giant monster which seemed to be a pegasus made out of storm clouds. The alicorn in question was all black, with red hair that was incredibly messy in style. His wings had red highlights and one of his eyes was red, and the other was blue. He wore a signature shit-eating grin as he snapped two gryphon claws he had in place of front hooves pointing at the monster. "Give up Tornado! You know you can't beat me! Why don't you just get rid of that cloud armor and just surrender?" The alicorn asked slyly as the cloud monster reformed the hole that had been blasted in its chest. "Never you annoying little pest!" The creature roared. With a slash of one of its cloudy hooves, a lightning bolt formed in the air and shot at the speed of light towards Derek. Derek chuckled and, with no effort, dodged out of the way of the lightning bolt which sailed past him. It kept sailing and slammed into the ground with an explosion next to a small Deer buck, who didn't even flinch. This was Johan, and unlike his friend Derek, he was not special at all. He just looked like every other deer on the planet, with no special defining features baring the fact that he lived in Equestria. Well, that and the permanent disappointed, or even depressed look on his face. Both Johan and Derek had ended up in Equestria after they died in a car accident or some other generic thing, and after the initial confusion that came with suddenly finding yourself in a magical planet, the two had settled into their lives in Ponyville. Derek had become the hero, the one everyone in the world looked up to, mainly due to the fact that he literally arrived as an unstoppable magical demigod, while Johan just settled down and became just a regular old townie. A regular townie, who Derek always kept close to him. Johan sighed, and turned around. A massive crowd was gathered behind him, all of their eyes turned to the sky to watch Derek go to work. At the front of the crowd was the Elements of Harmony, who watched with stunned wonder as, for the thousandth time since arriving, Derek fought a monster that they couldn't even hurt, even with their necklaces of magical power. "Wow! Derek is so cool!" Pinkie Pie said with a pure giddy smile on her face, as Rainbow Dash smirked. "You know he is! I wonder if I can beat him in a race this time! Sixth times the charm right?" Johan sighed again and turned to walk away. He almost made it out of the crowd before he was stopped by a purple magical shield. "Where are you going Johan? Don't you want to watch Derek fight?" Twilight Sparkle asked him. Johan rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, I certainly want to watch Derek effortlessly win the third fight this week. Woot woot." Johan replied pumping his hoof. Twilight looked at her friends before just shrugging and turning her eyes back to the fight. The shield disappeared and Johan simply walked past, ignoring all the 'ooos' and 'ahhhs' that emanated from the mystified population of Ponyville. Eventually, the sound of explosions, thunder, and lightning slowly faded out of earshot as he neared the edge of town, his face turned downwards the entire time. With a sigh, Johan looked up. His and Derek's houses at right next to each other. Well, next to each other was a disservice. It looked more like his house was a shack where the help lived at Derek's house. Derek's house looked like a massive mansion, incomprehensibly large with stone buttresses, towers, and a front lawn that looked like it took fifty gardeners to take care of. Statues of Derek dotted the roof and garden as stained glass windows which included images of Derek's many victories sat comfortably in the massive walls. Johan's house, instead, was just a small shack with a tile roof, windows with shutters instead of glass, and cobblestone walls. It was small, so small in fact, that the entire front of the house was smaller than one of Derek's windows. Johan shook his head and merely opened his door, entering his small cottage. The kitchen and living room took up the same room. He didn't have a dining room, just a coffee table in front of his couch. Another door divided the house in half, his bedroom on the other side. Johan simply walked to the kitchen, grabbed a bowl and a box of cereal. He poured the cereal and went to the fridge to get some milk, but opening it just got him blasted in the face with a disgusting smell. Johan stumbled back and looked inside to see that his milk was expired. "Great... As if today could get any worse." He growled, kicking the fridge door closed. He merely resolved to take his dry cereal over to the couch and eat it alone. He was always alone. He barely had time to shovel the first load of bland tasting Raisin Bran into his mouth before he heard a slight boom from outside, he looked out one of his windows to see a cloud of dust. "Oh, great. Thanks for tempting fate Johan." He moaned to himself, covering half his face with a hoof. 'You're welcome.' a faceless voice said in his mind. There was a knock on his door. He ignored it and just kept eating. Then there was another, followed by jiggling on the door handle. He tried his hardest to pretend it wasn't there. Then the door handle on his side was wrapped in a crimson aura and slammed open with enough force to knock bits and baubles off the single shelf he had in the room, and knock the single painting he had in the entire house off the wall. It was of a deer being mauled by a wolf. God did he wish he was in that deer's place right now. "Hey hey Johan! I missed you at the fight, man!" Derek said as he walked into the room, slamming the door closed behind him. Johan sighed for what felt like the thousandth time that day. "I didn't think you needed me. You always seem to be so capable on your own." He mumbled, taking another bite of Raisen Bran. "Could you please put all the stuff you knocked over back please." Derek laughed. "Come on man. I need my buddy there with me when I am fighting. You know. For moral support." He said as he used magic to rearrange the books, trinkets, and small sculptures his entrance had knocked off of Johan's single shelf. "Don't you have the Elements of Harmony to do that for you? Alongside literally everyone else in town?" Johan said standing up and bringing his empty bowl to the sink. "Wouldn't people who want to sleep with you make for better moral support than me?" Derek blinked several times. "Ah come on man. The Elements are just friends." He chuckled. "Besides, you're still my oldest friend man. You're like my little brother you know?" Johan growled under his breath at that as he cleaned the bowl. "Little brother? I am a year older than you." "You know what I mean." Derek chuckled as he put the painting of the unfortunate encounter of the deer and the wolf back up on the wall. "Sheesh, don't you think this is kind of morbid?" He asked. Johan ignored him, sitting back down on the couch. Derek stared at him for a couple of seconds expecting a response before shrugging. "Anyway... I am having a race with Rainbow Dash today near Ghastly Gorge. Want to come?" "Why? You always win. No point in coming if I already know how it is going to end." Johan sighed laying down. "I think I am just going to go to sleep or something." Derek laughed, walking over and petting Johan between the antlers. "Ok, bud. Have a good night or whatever." "Yeah, goodnight." Derek went over to the door, stopping just before leaving. "Hey, can I ask a favor?" "Oh sure. Ask a favor. What can I, a weak pathetic little deer, possibly do for you?" Johan asked. Derek didn't notice to absolute venom in his voice. "Well, tomorrow I am having a date with Twilight Sparkle. She thought it would be a little awkward if it was just the two of us. I was wondering if maybe you could find someone and come. Make it a double date you know?" Derek asked with a smile. Johan looked down and exhaled. "Yeah. Sure." Derek gave him a thumbs up. "Thanks Johan!" The alicorn hybrid closed the door behind him and walked away, leaving Johan alone. The deer sighed and threw his head back, running a hoof along with one of his antlers. He looked back to his fridge and sighed, standing up. Derek would probably pay for the food, so him going would probably get him a free meal. Lord knows he needed it. He opened the fridge and covered his nose at the blast of rancid air that hit him right in the face. Time to go shopping.