Cryptic had a strange nightmare last night. In it, he could only see an endless expanse of black stars and a dreadful sense of something stalking him, like something was coming to devour him in that void he drifted in. He had never been to space before and he woke up, shivering. In the dream, Starlight Glimmer and Trixie drifted past him, holding their arms out to him, pleading. He grabbed for them but floated past helplessly.
A giant, swollen yellow orb of a moon floated by, horrible and bulging. Inside it, visible in the shadows of a crater, he saw the shadow of Nightmare Moon laughing at him. Her voice blasted, deep and terrible:
”How would you like to be alone, little pony? Starving and empty? Friendless?”
"Please, no," he whispered softly to the uncaring universe. "Anything but that. Don't let me lose my friends."
"You have no choice, you are destined to be left by everyone you love and let down. You will never make a true friend. Everyone you love who knows you will abandon you in the end, little pony. You are misbegotten hybrid, a mixblood, an impure thing. No one will love you. You deserve only to die, unloved and starving. Aren't you hungry, pony? Aren't you hungry?"
"What is your name?" she asked.
"I don't know."
"What is your name?"
"I don't know!"
Please, he begged helplessly. And he was so hungry. The hunger consumed him and drove him to do terrible things. Please let me be free of this hell.
He woke up in the sleep-car in the top bunk, sweating. His dark purple hair hung in his face and he pushed it away. He tried to forget about the dream, tried to forget about everything. Focusing only on the present. Back to sleep... think about rainbows, about the sweet smiles of his new friends... don't want to let them down... don't want to let them down... they're counting on me tomorrow to be presentable and friendly...
That happened during the middle of the train trip, but the specter of it haunted him still.
When they entered Canterlot escorted by Royal Guards, it was like none of them had ever happened. He felt bright-eyed and rested. Starlight and Trixie were joking and he was just taking in all the sights of the wonderful white-marble gleaming city. Everything felt at ease and he was able to let go of some of the dread beneath the surface, building in his subconscious. It was just dream. Just forget it, Cryptic. It's meaningless. Look at how happy they are!
From somewhere, Starlight Glimmer pulled out a simple kite and unfurled it to be caught by the wind. Trixie smiled and watched as her marefriend guided it left and right and performed tricks with it. He was amazed she could set up a kite so fast and make it obey her commands like that, all without magic. It must be a natural talent born of years of practice from a pursued interest. If he could remember his past, did he have gifts or skills like that too? It was only natural to wonder.
Cryptic trotted up to Trixie and pointed at the enormous castle in the distance. "Is that where we're going?"
"Yes. Twilight is on official business during working hours, except for certain special holidays. Now that Luna and Celestia have retired, she has double the workload so she took on Sunburst as both an aide and her husband."
"Celestia... I've heard that name before. Some of the residents exclaim that name."
"Oh, that's because it's a swear. It's not polite."
"So I shouldn't say it?"
"You can say it if you want..."
Starlight started to reel her kite in, sweating a little from effort. She put the simple white folding kite into her saddlebag, using magic to swiftly collapse it. She wiped her brow and gave a happy little nervous giggle. "Nothing like a little kite-flying to kill some time!"
"We weren't killing time," Cryptic said. "We were waiting on you."
"Let her be," Trixie said, with a tired tone and heavily lidded eyes. She stared into the distance, where the sun was setting gently over the rolling hills. Fluffy clouds like curls of cotton candy drifted through the sky. Everything felt idyllic and for a single moment, he dared let himself feel something like happiness build inside him.
They began the longish walk up to the castle, on the scenic route. Trixie wanted to point out the Royal Gardens to him, Starlight wanted to show him the nearby library with exotic books for sale, and Cryptic himself wanted a dessert so they went to a parlor called Fancy-Free Shakes. He got something chocolatey and it was excellent. He had a wonderful time, and soon (all-too-soon) it was time for their appointment with the Queen.
"So why isn't Sunburst a king?" he whispered to Starlight.
"It's complicated," she whispered back. "He didn't want the rank, even if he would have qualified thanks to his skill in magic. He said he didn't want the attention."
"I see."
Starlight started breathing really quick, in and out, as they pulled up to the gate. Trixie took her aside and began rubbing her shoulders and got a hairbrush out of her saddlebag to begin brushing her hair.
"What's wrong?" Cryptic asked.
"Oh, she gets like this sometimes. She's just like Twilight... she has panic attacks before any big engagement or official affair. I'm kind of used to it by now, to be honest."
He hovered nearby, feeling awkward, as the purple mare had some kind of breakdown over the impending appointment. She teleported a watch out of her bag, glanced at it, and began rapid breathing again. Trixie handed her a paper bag to breathe into and began counting out the breaths she would need. Starlight hugged her with one arm, and inhaled and exhaled slowly into the bag. A guard on patrol gave them a weird look, and Cryptic put himself in-between that guard and the two girls. The guard cleared her throat and kept on going. He patted himself on the back for trying to look properly intimidating
"Are you good?" Trixie murmured, after what felt like an endless series of time had passed. Starlight finally nodded and passed the paper bag back to her in order to tuck away again.
"It's almost time," Cryptic observed, looking at the giant clock-tower nearby.
"I know! I know!" Starlight said. "Oh, Celestia, what do I even say? Sunburst will be so disappointed in me!"
"Fuck what Sunburst thinks," he offered. "Aren't we here to see Twilight? What do he have to do with it? He's just incidental to this whole scenario. You can even ask Twilight to dismiss him from our meeting since she obviously outranks him."
Starlight brightened considerably. "You're right."
Trixie motioned for them all to go up to the huge golden doors as the clock struck the hour. It was finally time.
(To be continued...)