I sigh as I wash my face, I grab a towel and dry my face and look in the mirror, a white man, unkempt black hair, tired eyes, a beard that is already trying to grow, and obviously a gigantic necklace around of my neck, it serves to prevent me from hurting any pony or using magic, as if I was going to do that, Miranda is right, starting over is the best option, I can hear a whisper, in the reflection of the mirror I can clearly see the monster that has been haunting me for years, looking at me through the door, this would normally scare me, but not today, besides, I'll not have a panic attack in the bathroom of a train, I have standards!
I turn to the door, nothing, it's just in my head, remember it Damian, it's a hallucination, I close the door while I sit on the toilet, it started, I look at my clothes, it's really big, Miranda thinks it's a curtain sewned hastily, I think it is minotaurs clothes, when we arrive in Ponyville Rarity will sew new clothes... Will it be... it's Rarity's store the same as in the other world? I hope not, it would be, I don't know, strange to see that place again, I burned that for a reason.
Ok Damian, enough self-pity, this is pathetic, I rise and open the door, outside there were two guards in disguise, it seems that Celestia really send some guards to watch over me,, well, I don't judge her, I would do the same if I was in her position, I wave to the two guards as I walk towards my wagon, one of them seems not to have reacted, but the other was clearly scared.
I'm walking In the middle of the train, I ignore the accusing glances or the screams of fear from the ponies, this is the second time they see me, since they too were frightened when a being they never saw entered their wagon with a prisoner necklace , at less I can have fun with their fear, I know it's not ideal, that I have to leave the past in the past but scaring them is incredible! the doubt, the absolute dread, the horror and idea that they may die at any moment! God, calm Damian, breathe, now you have to survive with the cute and similar faces they make, god this is going to be difficult, is there a homeless pony in Ponyville?
Well, enough dreaming, I open the door and enter in another wagon, one more and arrive in my wagon, this one was full of unicorns, unicorns, does Black Sale exist in this world? Maybe I can get some bits with Celestia, say I need it or something and maybe I can buy a horn! No, I think it would be a relapse to enter the black market in less than a month in this world.
"What is... that?"
"Is that an inhibitory necklace?! Where are the guards!"
"Don't look darling, it's a monster."
Monster? Normally I would agree, but calling myself a monster is not the best action when I think about starting over, but yes, I'm a monster, I smile at the unicorn and do my best to show all my teeth, he looked to become some shades whiter, well, I still have some pleasures for what it looks like.
I open the last door and enter the wagon, I can hear some sighs of relief coming from them, damn unicorns,I suddenly had an incredible desire to cut some horns, man, starting over sucks.
I get in my wagon, Shining Sparkle was talking to Rarity and Rainbow, Shining Sparkle... a navy blue unicorn, a purple mane with a red stripe, when you look at her against the sun she almost looks like her master, almost, Something doesn't smell good on this mare, the princess should be twenty one, she's seventeen, weird, Miranda already hates her , I will leave Miss * laughs * egghead to my princess.
"Damian, are you going to hallucinate there or are you going to sit down?"
Speaking of the devil, there she was, a sapphire dragon, wearing an equally large yellow robe just like mine, my little princess, she must be seven years old in a few days but she is already very big, she is already bigger than most ponies and can become even bigger than me if she. .. If she is like her mother...
"Ok, ok, calm down dear."
It's amazing how embarrassed or enraged she is when I talk to her like this in public, however she has become more sleepy, I have to see this, maybe it's the magic inhibitors on her wrists, maybe.
I sit on Miranda's side, I can see the discomfort on her face, ahh how cute my baby is ashamed of Dad, I look around, Pinkie and Flutteshy are discussing something and Applejack is not here, strange, I didn't see her in the others wagons.
I try to listen to Pinkie's speech, apparently it's something about a surprise party, I really hope it's not that, I have to find a place to sleep in Fluttershy's cabin and still give the measurements for the clothes that Rarity will sew, the last thing I need is a party.
"What happened Damian? Seems to be thinking too much, be careful, it will burn your brain." really Miranda? Is this the best joke you have?
"Ah ah very funny, i'm just... Analyzing."
"What?"
"The future," I look at her, "thanks for being here Miranda, if you weren't, I think I would do it all over again."
She smiles slightly as she places a claw on my back.
"Don't worry Damian, I will always be here for you, if not, who would stop you from doing something stupid? How, I don't know, blow up a city ?!"
"It only happened once and I was drunk, plus it was Bloody Novel idea!"
Bloody Novel, she was, she was as close as I could call a friend in my world, she was, attentive and always listene what I say, I hope she is well.
"yes of course, you know she was on vacation that day, everyone was on vacation!"
How did she find this out? Did they speak off?
"Good, but you have to admit it was a light and shouting show, and it was phenomenal!"
She laughs a little, "it's true, but it ended ok? Remember what Cadence said? Leave the past in the past."
"Ok," we are in 1554 right? If I'm not mistaken Chrysalis kidnaps Cadence again in 1555, this will be so good, maybe I can talk to her a little, kill the nostalgia, it would be incredible, I think... I hope.
We were in 1571 before coming to this world, seriously, I know about the next seventeen years, why the hell don't they have a lottery here ?!
"Did you see Cadence before we left? I thought she was going to say goodbye at the train station at least, I mean, she's one of the reasons I'm here and not, well, in the Tartarus."
"Nope, I was with you the whole time."
Yea, I sigh while looking at the ceiling, yellow, it's a beautiful color, I prefer beige, yes, beige is much better, ok, enough hallucinating, I look at the wagon again, no Applejack yet.
"Where is applejack?"
"She went to the driver's cabin, why the question?"
"No, nothing, I just wanted to know if you guys knew, did you hear? I am not responsible for anything."
"Why do you say that?"
"Old habits take time to die."
Seriously, if they knew how many kidnappings took place in New Canterlot they wouldn't think that was strange, and it wasn't always me! I mean, of three kidnappings I was only responsible for two!
Pinkie walks towards me, I feel a cold spine, hmmmmm, this is going to end badly.
"what do you like more, strawberries or apples?"
Ok, I forgot I'm talking about Pinkie, "apples, but I prefer chocolate."
"I understand, thank you!"
"Hey Pinkie."
"Hmmm?"
"No surprise party right?"
"Of course, silly, if you already know that there will be a surprise party then she wouldn't be a surprise party anymore!"
I don't know if I understood correctly, but I nod, so is there going to be a party or not? God I hope it is not when I arrive in Ponyville, but I do not doubt, this universe has a bad habit of doing everything when it is talked about, going to a changeling party? Just agree and you are going to the party right away! Go to Ponyville? Just wave and there's a train waiting! Jesus.
I look at one of the clocks on the wall, we've been on this train for five hours... Five, I look at my chest, I can almost feel the pain that came from there, because under these clothes is one of several scars, but this one scar is unique, she was the first, a five, god how that hurt, yes... * laughs * I am the object of tests number five, "SPEEEENCEEEEEER !!!"
No! She is not here! She can't touch me! God my heart is already racing, I look around, nothing, she is not here.
"KILL THEM SPENCER! KILL ALL OF THEM, YOU MUST!"
"SHUT UP!"
She can't catch me! She, she... I feel Miranda's arms wrap around me, I throw myself against her, I can hear her say something, god this is horrible, depending on a seven year old child to calm me down, this is... Humiliating.
"It's okay Damian, she can't get you, I'm here, she won't touch a strand of your hair." why is she staring at Shining Sparkle? I don't know and I don't want to know, I rise while I wipe the little tears that were trying to form, they seem concerned about my... atack....
"I'll get some air in front of the train, I'll be right back." I don't want to stay here, god I had a attack during the day! In public! Ok it's official Damian your head is gone, I open the door but I feel a hoof holding my hand.
"Damian, you don't have to be ashamed, you suffered, we understand, we are here to help."
Yes, obviously it would be Fluttershy the one who would say something like that, she was... Very kind in the other universe... And how did I reciprocate? God how I hate myself.
"Don't worry Fluttershy," I smile, "I'm just going to get some air."
She nods slightly while letting me go, I turn as I walk to the driver's wagon, the other wagons have a tunnel between them, this one doesn’t, he doesn’t have this protection tunnel, just a small security fence, I walk a little and I can already see the cabin, it has a white unicorn and two common ponies inside, one of them being Applejack, she seems to see me and nods slightly with the hat, seriously, these ponies, I wave back while leaning on the protection fence and I face the tracks, this train is going fast, very fast.
"Spenceeeer, you failed five times, don't miss the sixth time!"
Five failures, I look at the tracks, I am almost mesmerized by their speed, I feel my body softening as I lean over the small security fence, I can end this now, without more nightmares, without more panic attacks, without more shame or regrets, just the sweet embrace of death, I feel my balance running out, I think I will... I think I will...
"GO SPENCER! YOU MUST DIE!"
My god what am I thinking ?! I try to balance myself as best as I can but I think I’ve passed the point of return, I close my eyes and raise my arms, God it will fucking hurt!
So I feel, something is holding my clothes, fuck it, I don't care if it's Torch himself, I'll take this chance! I do my best to balance myself, I look back and there was the carrier of honesty.
"You almost scared me champion! Be careful, these trains are not toys!"
"Thanks, that would hurt a lot."
I look at my clothes, she left a tear i it, well, it's better than jumping from a moving train.
"It hurts, * laughs * I think it would do more than hurt."
I wave while looking at the horizon, there is a small village, Ponyville, god this name still makes me want to laugh, pony, ville, god, look this world.
"Do you want to come with me? I'm going inside the wagon."
"No, go ahead, I'll be right behind you, I just want to breathe some fresh air."
She laughs a little before leaving, "just don't get too much air ok?"
I wave as I continue looking at the village, I can almost see, instead of a passive village, a crater, a huge crater, the only reminder that had a village there, is a small hut on a hill, another mistake for the list.
I look a little to the right, there was the apple farm, I burned that shit, why? I don't know, the apples there were good.
And of course, looking back at the village, is Princess Twil-Twi- Princess Sparkle's castle, if I'm not mistaken that is a school, how will it be there? As much as the fear of meeting the princess of friendship is huge, my curiosity is greater, besides, Shining Sparkle said that her master is in the Griffin Federation, so she is not in the village.
A school, * laughs * I think it was the only thing I couldn’t destroy in the other world, Starlight protected the school and when she saw she wasn’t going to win me she teleported the entire school away, that was epic, I managed to lose an entire school!
I sigh, enough, if I keep thinking about the past they will appear, again, I turn and walk towards the wagon, I enter it, they are all around Applejack, except for Miranda, she is sitting and by her look they must have stayed knowing of my, little incident, I shrug as I walk towards Miranda and sit next to her.
"They will bother us."
"I know, leave it to me."
She nods slowly as she looks back at the window, this is going to be a very long travel.
-------------------------------------------------- ----------------- // ------------------------------- --------------------------------------------
We arrived, the train was late so it is already night, we split up near the edge of the village, Rarity wants me to go to her boutique tomorrow in the morning, now it's just me, Miranda and Fluttershy, and Rainbow, she's in some cloud above us, not to mention two guards who are on a prowl in some clouds over Flutershy's hut, this night will be long.
"We are here! Please make yourself at home!"
Miranda simply waved while throwing herself on the couch, is she already asleep? I touch her feet a few times, yes, she is sleeping like a rock, strange, I expected more... Animals.
"M-Miranda! I have a guest room!"
"It's over, now only tomorrow for her to wake up."
She waves as she starts to drop some papers on the other couch and walks towards the kitchen.
I catch them, let's see, Mr. Damian Spencer, thirty-five years old, serious neurological problems, he misses his family and I have a deep attachment to Miranda because of that.
What the fuck? I expected this from Shining, not her, * sigh * if she wants to study the new animal I don't mind, as long it's only theoretical studies, I drop the papers while I lie on the couch, * yawn * I think I'll... Sleep a little... Just a little... Start over, redemption, forget the past, it doesn't hurt to dream, right?