Sunset’s eyes gently travelled around the large group that had taken over the back corner of the new restaurant. Like Twilight had surmised, the place was both spotless and deserted. They had taken the teen behind the counter by surprise when they entered, distracting him from the game he’d been immersed in and sending his phone clattering to the floor. After an awkward minute when everyone else waited for someone else to order food, Sunset had been surprised when Scootaloo stepped up to the counter and greeted the boy with a wave. Eleven discounted meals later, and the revelation that this was where Scootaloo had taken a part-time job to supplement her college stipend, everyone had settled themselves around a long laminate topped table, overhung by dazzlingly bright lights that made Sunsets' eye want to water. Twilight had made some comments about the lack of understanding around installation and lumen values of LED lighting, only to shrink back when everyone stared at her with bemused, even amused, looks on their faces. The upside to this though was it had scattered a semblance of normal life amongst everyone present and took the edge off the oppressive feelings that still hung in the air.
A slight edge.
From her position at the head of the table, Sunset cast her eyes across the girls before her, and they were girls right now. Confused, scared, vulnerable and unsure of what was coming next. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, in particular, looked stunned. All of them with a similar wide-eyed expression, staring at the food in front of them with hints of disbelief, sadness, even a small amount of hope, and in a way, Sunset could understand why. Until this point, they believe it had been their actions that had driven their Sunset to do the unthinkable, yet now they knew that, while their actions were far from guilt-free, they could at least feel a little lighter knowing it wasn’t what they did that had become the tipping point for the young woman. This, however, Sunset knew, would be little consolation, especially now that they knew the blame had merely been shunted over to someone else. Someone they had all looked up to in their own ways.
Speaking of which.
Rainbow Dash sat back from the table, eyes locked on a point far away that only she could see. One hand idly stirred her tub of ice cream while the other rested in her lap, her hand clenched into a tight fist. It was shaking slightly.
Letting out a long breath, Sunset admitted to herself that she just couldn’t let the girls actions go unpunished, and while part of her wished to just forget everything she knew and move on she knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. Given when the events took place, Sunset suspected Rainbow and those involved would be tried as teenagers, not adults, limiting their punishments somewhat. While she wasn’t certain she liked that, she also didn’t want to see the girls’ life go to waste, especially when she clearly regretted her actions, enough to self-harm and jeopardise her place on her sports teams should that have been discovered.
Sunset’s eyes widened.
“Rainbow, could I have a word please.” She asked, standing up and gesturing to the Ladies toilets.
Rainbow merely stood without a word and traipsed slowly after her, eyes not leaving the ground, and followed Sunset through the doors and into the bathroom. With the doors shut behind them, Sunset turned and held out her hand.
“Can I see?” She asked, her tone implying what she meant.
Without argument, Rainbow placed her hand palm up in Sunsets own and let her tug up her sleeve. Sunset raised Rainbows arm to inspect it closely. Dozens of white scars littered the inside of Rainbows arm, from just above her wrist to just short of her elbow. Sunset found herself gasping at just how many there were, which made Rainbow flinch and look away. While most looked shallow, some were clearly thicker and deeper, and several had uneven edges like Rainbow had been shaking as she made them.
“What about the other one?” Sunset asked, gently letting go and tugging the woman’s sleeve down for her.
“The same,” Rainbow muttered quietly.
“Anywhere else?”
“One on my inner thigh, but that’s all.” She added.
“Now tell me about Gilda.”
Rainbow’s gaze snapped up. “Pardon?”
“When we first met, well, out of school, you were on crutches. If I recall, one of your friends mentioned that name, and that it wasn’t the first time it had happened.” Sunset continued, walking around and leaning against the line of sinks, placing herself between Rainbow and the exit. She didn’t expect her to try and run, but Sunset still attempted to look more casual and at ease, trying to lead the woman into thinking this was more of a conversation than an interrogation. “The cuts and bruises had also not been seen too or cleaned. Am I right in thinking this was by choice?”
Rainbow’s eyes widened, her mouth hanging open slightly, her eyes taking on a shimmering edge.
“A way of… repenting I assume?” Sunset asked, keeping her voice kind and soft. “You couldn’t bring yourself to tell people what really happened, but you also wanted to be punished.”
Rainbow looked away, tears now brimming in her eyes, nodding slightly.
Sunset swallowed, taking a deep, slow breath. She knew she couldn’t imagine how the young woman was feeling. While Sunset had in the past felt the same desire, she had always managed to prevent herself, her logic and strong will beating out her pain and sadness. At some point though Rainbow had succumbed to her guilt. ‘Unsurprising really’, Sunset noted with a lump in her throat. How many nights, had she fought the urge. How many months had she spent nursing injuries only to let herself get hurt again just to try and feel the same outside as she felt inside?
“Rainbow,” Sunset started, doing her best to look the other girl in the eye, even if the woman’s gaze wanted to look anywhere but directly at her. “I know that you know this, so I apologise for repeating it, but you can get help. There are people who can listen. I know that you don’t feel you deserve it, but I also know that your old friends would be devastated to lose you as well.” She waited a moment to see if Rainbow had anything to add. With no response forthcoming, she pressed on. “People make mistakes. Horrible, terrible mistakes. But I also believe people can learn, can change, and can make amends for them. If not entirely, they can in part.”
“How?” Rainbow’s hands clenched into fists. She shook, staring at the perfectly white tiled floor, her body sagging and shuddering. “Twi… Twilight is right. I may as well have pushed her. I don’t deserve to even be alive. How the fuck am I supposed to make up for this?” Her head snapped up, her gaze piercing into Sunsets. “How?”
Sunset stood, raising her hands placatively, but she couldn’t conjure up any kind of reasonable response. Telling Rainbow to calm down wouldn’t do more than aggravate her, and any suggestions would get batted aside or seen as inadequate, which in many ways most would be.
“Tell me about her.”
Rainbow’s eyes flickered with confusion. “Huh?”
“This girl, from what I have been able to gather, was me from an alternate universe,” Sunset replied, really hoping this gamble would pay off. “It’s not like I’ve ever had this chance before, or ever will again. So, tell me about her.”
The tangent seemed to be working. She still looked upset and stressed, but the anger in Rainbow’s body was fading, replaced by memories and feelings long suppressed.
“Well, uh…” Rainbow started. “Sunset was from a place called Equestria, and she was...uhh.. a unicorn…”
***---***---***
“What do you think they are talking about in there?”
The Princesses question took everyone by surprise. Silence had reigned since Sunset and Rainbow had departed, everyone soundlessly tucking into their meals, more out of a desire to do something rather than actual hunger.
“Ah don’t think ah want to know,” Applejack added after a moment's thought, a hint of anger in her voice. Who that was aimed at, Twilight couldn’t tell. “We… we all messed up. Astronomically. Hearin’ what Rainbow did…” Applejack paused, trying to find the right words and crushing the chicken nugget in her hand to a fine paste in the process. “If I’d have known at the time, Granny Smith help me, I don’t know what I’d have done.”
“I should have said something,” Everyone turned to look at Fluttershy, the once timid girl staring forward with a grim determination. “She didn’t tell me, but afterwards, I realised. Words and phrases, being late home or to the cafe where we’d meet, she’d been talking to people. I just didn’t see it in time.”
“Don’t blame yourself Fluttershy.” Rarity rested a soothing hand on her shoulder. “Applejack and I, even Rainbow… something felt off. To start with I was so angry. The things that were coming out, so personal and intimate. It didn’t seem to match anyone but poor Sunset.” Her eyes drifted to Sweetie Belle who winced, looking away. “If only I’d been more observant and questioned things, perhaps I might have realised one culprit lived under my very own roof.”
“You wouldn’t have had to even look if we had just talked.” Scootalloo’s words silenced the group. “And I don’t just mean Sweetie, AB, and I talking to you three about how we felt, but at any stage, we could have stopped, or any of you could have questioned what was happening, or Principal Celestia could have begun questioning students, or got the police involved, or something!” Her voice kept rising, pain erupting to the surface like a volcano. “How could I have been so stupid, so selfish, so… so…”
“Cruel?” Sweetie Belle offered.
“That and so many other things.” Scootaloo dropped her head into her hands. She didn’t feel like crying, she’d done enough of that already. This was anger and fury at her own actions and the haunting pain of knowing nothing she ever said or did would make up for them.
“Why didn’t you believe her?”
The question made everyone stop. Eyes slowly drifted to the end of the table where Starlight now sat, the colour draining from her face. She took in their expressions. Shock, surprise, confusion, thankfully no anger.
“I mean,” She pressed on, trying to find the words. “You say it now like it was obvious, but there must have been something that kept you from seeing the truth. From what Twilight has told me, Sunset was reformed by all of you, even against your better judgement and she became one of you. So, what made you abandon her?”
Starlight had sat through some awkward silences in her life. This, however, was possibly the most painful she’d ever felt. Not a word left anyone’s lips, yet she was sure she ought to have put everyone present on suicide watch. ‘Given that is exactly what they caused that shouldn’t be a surprise’ she reminded herself. Even the Princess looked as if she’d been gutted and strung up to die. The only person present that didn’t was the other Twilight, though this was replaced with a very nervous and worried posture as she tried to shrink into her seat.
“For me,” Everyone looked to Applejack as she forced herself to speak. “Between the secrets being so personal,” She shot a pained glance at Apple Bloom. “It was her history. We knew she could lie. She’d been so good at it before Twilight came along. Some of the things that happened then, even though I was her friend, I couldn’t let go of what she did. Not just to me but everyone else, and when she started beggin’ and cryin’ and pleadin’ with us, I just couldn’t shake this feelin’ that it was all a ploy.” Applejack shuddered, her breathing ragged. “But lookin’ back, it should have been damn obvious. She didn’t have much to gain and had so much to lose.” The woman looked up. “I’m guessin’ that you all felt similar?”
Another pained silence followed, a few nodding their heads after a moment or looking away in shame.
“Did none of you forgive her?” Princess Twilight's words sliced through the group, striking right to their hearts. “I mean truly forgive her?”
“She’d terrorised us all for over a year.” Applejack replied bitterly. “As much as it was impressive to see her fall overnight to a rainbow laser, that kind of pain doesn’t just leave ya.”
“It didn’t help that you just left either,” Rarity added nervously. “You came, you beat her and you left, leaving us to pick up the pieces.”
Twilight's eyes flashed dangerously. “The portal was closing. I couldn’t risk getting trapped here. I barely made it as it was. There wasn’t much else I could do.”
“But when Sunset started using her book and you had a reliable means to come see us, see her, you didn’t.” Rarity retorted, feeling her anger rise. “You came, defeated the Sirens, and left again. In fact, I can’t recall a single time where you came just to see us. To see her. To just check on us without some world-ending crisis forcing your hand.”
Twilight bit back on her anger. “I’m a Princess, an Element of Harmony, a Teacher and a Mentor,” she replied in a voice of forced calm. “I have responsibilities. I have my own friends and family back in Equestria.”
“You have friends here too.” Rarity yelled standing up and leaning over into Twilight’s face. “Or more accurately, you had.” She hadn’t meant for it to come across like that, but the moment the words left Rarity’s lips she realised that she meant it. “Thanks to you abandoning Sunset to us, we had to work out how to take care of her, how to fix her reputation, how to find her a new place to live, how to get her to change all her horrible habits, how to not resort to threats or manipulation to get what she wanted. She wasn’t just fixed like you seemed to assume. It took all of us months to get her to the point where you saw her during the Siren incident and I can assure you it was not an easy road. Maybe, when you have magic to help you, people change just like that, but not here, and to see all that effort, care, affection and trust thrown back in our faces, what did you expect to happen?”
Starlight sat stunned, guilt squirming inside her. She knew that part, that long road, the one she still walked. Beside her, she felt Twilight's rage and fury, even if from the outside she seemed calm. Be it by magic or by just how much time she spent with her, Starlight knew Twilight was one wrong word away from erupting.
“She expected you to do her job for her.”
Twilight snapped around, hell-bent on unleashing her fury upon that voice. How dare they accuse her. How dare they assume they understood, how dare…
“You’d just been made a Princess, correct?” Sunset asked, standing firm and watching Twilight’s furious face melt into one of horror and guilt. “You didn’t feel ready, did you? A whole new world. Celestia’s previous student. Learning that you were a replacement, a second choice?”
Twilight managed to take her eyes off Sunset to stare at Rainbow Dash in disbelief. “You told her?”
“Everything.” The woman replied simply. “Everything I knew, and everything Sunset told me.”
“I’m not going to pretend to understand all of it.” Sunset pressed on before the Princess could snap back. “But assuming what Rainbow has told me is true, this other Sunset started all these events mere weeks after you’d ascended. Again, I won’t presume to understand everything but I can make a strong guess that you weren’t ready to have something like this happen. It also didn’t help that you really would have been trapped, so I understand why you left too. Your responsibilities at home really did outweigh those here, but that didn’t mean you should have neglected them.”
Giving Rarity a firm stare, Sunset forced the woman to sit down again before resuming her own place at the other end of the table next to her Twilight, while Rainbow went and sat nervously next to Fluttershy.
Resting her elbows on the table and weaving her fingers together, Sunset took a deep breath, closing her eyes. It was insane, but short of every girl here, herself included, hallucinating, this was all real. Even if it wasn’t, the emotions were, and those needed sorting or these girls would break all over again. She knew she was hardly the best person to talk to, but no one else would be willing to listen. ‘You wouldn’t if you hadn’t seen everything for yourself’ her conscience reminded her. She rubbed her eyes, trying to soothe herself, and ease the tiredness from her mind. Everyone was tired, emotional and stressed, but it would most likely be now or never to close the book on this chapter of their lives.
“You all made mistakes.” Her statement was met with a numb silence, everyone shrinking slightly, the Princess included. “Some more than others.” Her eyes flitted up and caught the eldest woman’s gaze which hardened, though her eyes remained pained. “These mistakes cannot be fixed. They cannot be undone. The best thing you can do now is to learn from them. Some might suggest trying to atone for what has happened. I would say consider it, but given that, no matter how much you worked and gave, I doubt it would ever feel like you’d done enough. It might be better to not try at all. Life isn’t a set of scales, weighing the good and the bad. That’s up to you though.” Sunset’s gaze came to rest on Rainbow Dash, who quickly looked away.
“All this said though,” Sunset continued. “I still don’t get something. Why did you all decide to come here tonight? What did you expect to gain from it? From what I see, most of you are now acquaintances at best, and bringing all these memories and feelings back up just hurts. So what did you expect?”
“I can tell you what I didn’t expect.” Applejack growled. “To learn that one of us lured Sunset into a trap.” Her eyes flashed darkly. “What AB did was bad, I ain’t gonna pretend otherwise but Twilight is right.” Her eyes turned to Rainbow. “What she did,” Applejack pressed on, pointing an angry finger. “Was malicious, and just plain evil.”
“Hey!” Fluttershy retorted, moving to shield Rainbow from Applejack’s anger. “You can’t pin all this on Rainbow. None of this would have happened if your sister hadn’t got jealous.”
“Oh and if we continue down that line of reasoning, they wouldn’t have gotten jealous if we’d been more attentive to them, huh? We kinda had our hands full dealing with Sunset, so don’t go blaming us for not having the time.”
“You should have made time.” Fluttershy snapped back. “I made time to help at the shelter, and to go to all Rainbow’s events, and still do my homework, and everything else I had to do, and I still set aside time for Sunset, even after everything she did to me, and you all know she did far more to me than to the rest of you.”
“Yeah, and? While I had to look after an entire farm with Big Mac, and do all my school work, and look after Apple Bloom. Cos that's so much easier.”
“Girls, we all had our obligations. This isn’t going to help us.” Rarity cut in. “We were still teenagers and I know that I didn’t have everything quite as I would have liked. But we made a decision to help Sunset, we had to stick by that.”
“Why did we agree to help her?” Applejack roared. “She tried to kill us! Literally tried to kill us! She turned into a flying demon and had spent the previous year breaking up our friendships, blackmailing, backstabbing, humiliating, abusing and bullying everyone in the school. Need I go on? People like that don’t deserve a second chance.”
“Everyone deserves a second chance,” Fluttershy replied.
Applejack let out a pained laugh, shaking her head. “No Shy, they really don’t.”
“Why not?”
“Cos I’d still have parents if that were true!”
Starlight could tell that Applejack had gone too far, though she could also tell that the bomb hadn’t quite yet dropped. Shock and confusion were the main expressions to be seen, tinged with apprehension. The only girl who didn’t share this was Apple Bloom, who’d eyes widened, narrowed, then pushed herself up from her seat and slammed open the doors and sprinted out into the rain.
Without a word, Scootaloo pushed herself to her feet and sprinted after her. Sweetie Belle gave Rarity and glance, the elder sister merely sighing. In silence, Sweetie lent over and grabbed Apple Bloom’s raincoat before quickly following her two friends out into the night.
“Care to explain that?” Sunset finally said after a few minutes.
“It is really not anything to do with you.” Applejack replied coldly.
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Me? No. The other Sunset? Yes.” When Applejack looked away, Sunset sighed. “If you want to get something out of this mess, you need to come clean. All of you.” She shot looked around at everyone who was still left, gauging their responses. “From what I’ve been told, you won’t get another chance at this for another two and a half years. You’ve all changed dramatically since I last ran into you all, imagine how much has changed since you first met Sunset?”
“Given Sweetie and Scootaloo just ran after Apple Bloom, I would suspect that, whatever this is, they will know about it soon, and since Sweetie Belle will no longer keep a secret, I will find out soon enough.” Rarity gave Applejack a firm stare. “This isn’t supposed to be pressure, but merely a fact and I think you’d much rather tell us your version than us get it third hand.”
Applejack and Rarity glared at one another. Starlight suspected that this was something that used to happen regularly, even to be expected, between the two of them judging from just how casual yet intense this action seemed to be.
“Fine.” Applejack relented. “But this never leaves the room. Understand?”
With a nod from everyone present, Applejack sat back in her chair and closed her eyes. A good minute passed before she spoke. “Y’all know how my parents died?”
“Car crash.” Rarity said quietly.
Applejack nodded. “And do you know who caused it?” There was no reply to this question. “‘Two men in their mid-thirties with previous driving convictions’,” Applejack added as if quoting from a news article. “Now, that’s not unheard of course, people reoffending. But you know what gets me? These two in particular, age fifteen and sixteen, steal a car and end up crashing it into a petrol station. Cos of their age and family situation, they get an eight-year suspended sentence, community service and can’t take their driving tests until the eight years are over. That’s chance one. Then, aged twenty-three and twenty-four, six months before their eight years are up, they steal a sports car at knife-point and take it for a joy ride. That ends when they crash into a police roadblock injuring two officers. The result, they get fourteen years behind bars for combined Grand Theft Auto and Assault with a weapon, but they only serve eleven years. That’s chance two. Now aged thirty-five and thirty-six, a year after their release, and despite being under surveillance by the police, steal a truck filled with electrical goods, and try to make off with it.” Applejack stopped, taking long slow breaths, both hands gripping the tabletop. “They ran a red light and hit my parents' new truck side on, killing them instantly.”
Applejack took a long steadying breath. Everyone else looked everywhere but at one another, a grim silence swallowing their voices.
Sunset, pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes, rubbing them slowly. Princess Twilight, looked extremely pained, while her human counterpart stared forcefully at the table in front of her. Taking a deep breath of her own, Starlight couldn’t help but feel exceptionally lucky. This world sounded brutal. Sure it didn’t have manticores or super-powerful evil artefacts, but it was very rare for ponies to be killed in accidents, or for there to be crime of any kind. ‘Except the world ending catastrophes and perhaps Changelings,’ she thought.
“I guess that explains why you still run that old truck after all these years,” Rainbow muttered.
No one else said anything, another stunned and deep silence gripping them all.
Starlight nudged the numb Princess beside her. “Twilight, could I talk to you?” she asked quietly.
Without a word the Princess stood up and followed Starlight out into the night, walking more like a zombie than a person. The rain had eased up a little but it still made a racket against their hoods and forced them to huddle close.
“Why did you bring me?”
Twilight looked up, confused.
“Why did you bring me?” Starlight repeated. The princess gulped, shying away, a scared filly not a princess and immortal magical being. Rubbing her forehead with her palm, Starlight decided to do what she did best and leap. “It’s not just another lesson, it can’t be. You could have taught me all this back home, though how you’d match the anxiety level and the awkwardness I don’t know.” Twilight seemed to brighten a fraction at the small joke, leading Starlight to press on. “Showing me what can happen? No. They might look like our friends but they aren’t. Our friends are way older, have dealt with far more and, I would really hope, aren’t so easily disillusioned.” Before her, Twilight shuffled nervously, avoiding Starlight's eye.
“You’re scared,” Starlight mumbled. “Scared of their anger. Scared of how they see you.” She looked up at Twilight who instantly turned away.
“I failed her…” Twilight sobbed. “I abandoned her, I forgot about her. I let other things get in my way.” Twilight grabbed Starlight in a crushing hug, weeping into her shoulder. “It was so easy to go see her, just put the book in and I can go visit. So I never did. I kept putting it off. I solved other problems first. I read what she wrote. I wrote back comforting messages and told her it would be alright. That the truth would win out in the end. That I trusted her and she just needed to give them time. I never ever ever thought she would … would…”
Words failed her, Twilight's wails echoing into the night. Starlight clung to her, stroking Twilight's damp hair, doing what she could to soothe her friend but she knew it was just a token gesture.
“I kept, I kept telling myself,” Twilight hiccuped. “That it was their fault, that they were responsible, but if I’d just come to see her even once, she might, she might still be alive. She was right, their Sunset was right. I’m a horrible pony. I don’t deserve to be a princess. I don’t deserve to have so many amazing friends. Sunset was better than me. She was smarter, easier to talk too, more creative, more approachable. She was Celestia’s first choice and now she’d gone because I was too frightened and petty and intimidated and oh Starlight, I miss her… I miss her so much…”
Twilight slid to her knees, bringing Starlight with her, crying out years of pain and guilt that had been dammed up in her heart. Starlight stayed with her, huddled in the rain bathed in the yellow glow of the street lamps, both of them slowly being soaked to the bone.
“Twilight?” Starlight muttered after a few minutes.
“Yes?”
“I have an idea.”
***---***---***
Sunset watched, her heart clenching as she glanced through the window at the two girls now huddled on the ground in the rain. Luckily only she could see them, all the others facing the wrong direction, though she suspected they wouldn’t have gone outside to help either way. Everyone around her was lost in their own little world, doing what she hoped was some deep self-reflection. Beside her, her own Twilight fidgeting nervously, clearly not having expected her scientific expedition to go this way.
“So you rebuilt it?” Sunset asked casually, making Twilight sit bolt upright. “You might as well come clean. It’s not like you can talk your way out of this.”
Twilight briefly looked like she might try and make a run for it, or hyperventilate until her shoulders slumped and she physically deflated.
“I found a back-up of all my files when we moved my lab from Crystal Prep.” She muttered, one finger playing with her bangs and avoiding Sunsets eye. “I know what you said. It sat on my desk for weeks. I kept telling myself to just throw it out the window but I couldn’t. A whole new universe Sunset. Think about it! Actual, literal beings from another world. A world with science so advanced they see it as magic!” She stared up at Sunset now, her eyes wide with yearning and hope. “I can’t let this go! This will change the world!”
“Twilight, you can’t,” Sunset began, but Twilight spoke over her.
“Think about it Sunset, please, just for a minute,” Twilight begged. “Medicine, food, energy, transport, space travel, computing and so much more! We could advance by decades, even centuries!”
“Twilight,”
“I know we’d need to be careful, but if we tell the right people…”
“Twilight,”
“If everyone in the world knew we were not alone, I’m certain that…”
Slam! “God damn it Twilight, please stop!”
Twilight recoiled from Sunset, the anger in her eyes terrifying the bookish woman, looking to where Sunset had slammed her fists down on the table. Sunset continued to breathe heavily, her eyes narrowed furiously on her friend.
“Look around you. Look at them, Look at us. Do you honestly think we are ready? And I am not just referring to those present. Humans can’t even agree on the date, let alone the kind of collaboration that would be required to deal with an entirely new species. Can you imagine what their knowledge would be used for? Forgetting all that, we managed to talk one of their kind into killing herself! How do you think that goes down for the first of interplanetary relations?”
Twilight tried to Stammer back. “I know I get excited but please Sunset, at least consider it? If we just...”
“No Twilight. Please,” Sunset’s eyes transformed from angered to anguished in an instant, “Please just drop it. For tonight, please. I can’t be dealing with you too. I knew you’d come here, and in a way, I’m not angry. Your desire to learn and better yourself is part of why I love you. Your optimism and drive to fix and do better, even after years of people treating you as a pariah. But not everyone is like you, most people are not. Just, look, look what a group of girls achieved by not talking and communicating. Look where we are right now, all slumped around some random take-away at three in the morning, still dripping wet and feeling like we’ve been emotionally abused, and some of us literally have been.”
Twilight let out a shocked gasp as Sunset stood and embraced her in a crushing hug. “A month from now, maybe two, then we can talk but right now is not the time,” Sunset mumbled into her ear, a few tears running down her cheeks. “Please, I can’t take any more of this.” Twilight felt Sunset’s weight bare down on her, as the woman’s legs began to give. Eventually, Sunset slid to her knees, Twilight being dragged with her, the older woman clinging to her like a life raft, the walls she had set up holding back her emotions crumbling. Twilight hugged her dear friend back, even if she felt awkward and uncomfortable she didn’t dare break away from Sunset. She knew that much.
No one else moved. Glancing around, Twilight saw the pain in their eyes, like they were looking down at their sobbing, begging, pleading friend, and they remembered how they had ignored her and cast her aside. Internally, Twilight kicked herself for letting her curiosity get the better of her, on so many levels this night. If she had just thrown that damn drive away. If she had just not got the train. If she had just not revealed herself.
Sunset cried until she finally pulled herself to her feet. It could have been a few minutes or an hour, Twilight didn’t really remember. The elder woman stood shuddering slightly, wiping her eyes with her sleeve, gulping down lungfuls of air and trying to neaten herself up.
“I think that’s it.” She said to the room at large, her shoulders slumping “I can only cope with so much mediation.”
“You mean, that’s it?” Rainbow asked slowly, a hint of desperation in her eyes.
Sunset sniffed and rubbed her eyes. “Yep, that’s it.” She looked over at Rainbow, “I knew why Twilight came, and I know why I followed, but the rest of you, I’m still none the wiser about what you actually aimed to achieve here.”
No one answered again, everyone looking at everyone else for an answer. With a long sigh, Sunset turned to them all with a sympathetic expression. “Yeah, it’s going to feel like you got nothing out of this. No big fix or quick solution. And I also know damn well you know there isn’t one. As I said, this is going to be will you all for the rest of your lives in one way or another. I also know that you know that there is help out there. Some of you think you don’t deserve help,” her eyes flitted to Rainbow Dash who gulped awkwardly. “But unless you want to cause other people harm too, I suggest you take it. It will and could quite literally be a tough pill to swallow, but it does get easier. I promise.”
“Are you going to explain how you know that?” Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow.
“No. We’ve had enough outings for one day, or night. Speaking of which we all ought to be heading home.”
A gentle chime cut through the air, Rarity retrieving her phone from the pocket of her coat. “Sweetie Belle says she and Scootaloo found Apple Bloom. Seems they will be spending the night together at Scootaloo’s apartment.” Rarity held out her phone to Applejack. “That is the address.”
“You could just text it to me you know?” Applejack replied flatly.
Rarity’s face turned guilty. “I… I deleted your number.”
“Is that so.” Applejack let Rarity hang for a few seconds then took the phone off her and typed in her details. “There.”
Looking down at the new information on her phone. “This isn’t the one I remember.”
“I got a new number.” Applejack replied giving Rarity a slight grin. “Though I’m intrigued as to how you know that.”
Rarity’s guilty face flushed slightly. “Your numbers, all your numbers,” She added. “Are just stuck in my head. And the muscle memory for the number pattern is ingrained too. I deleted them because it hurt to see your names when I looked down my contacts list. But I knew if I really needed to I could recall them one way or another.”
“So, what was stopping you from just texting my old number?” Applejack grinned at Rarity's put-out expression, puffing up her pale cheeks in indignation, and muttering something under her breath.
Sunset couldn’t have described how she knew, but she was certain that things had just taken a step forward, even if it was in a strange way. Rather than interrupt the moment with a supportive or motivational line, she let the feeling hang there, quietly emptying her tray into the bin provided and laid it in the provided stacking area. Without a word everyone else copied her, the group slowly filling out into the night air. The rain had eased to a drizzle, which meant they could drop their hoods. As a whole, the entire group seemed just a fraction lighter in their spirits, and even if it didn’t last Sunset did believe that ultimately tonight would have been of benefit to all of them. ‘Hopefully, they can pass this all on to that girl that couldn’t make it, Pinkie’ she hoped to herself.
“Where about Princess Twilight and her friend, Starlight?” Fluttershy asked, looking around. “They were just outside the door last time I looked.”
“They could be anywhere.” Rarity sighed. “It’s not like we can call them either. Neither of them will have a phone.”
“Should one of us wait?” Rainbow suggested.
Rarity pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing and then fighting back a yawn. “They could have gone back through the portal for all we know. I can’t keep going much longer, and I still need to drive home.”
“You can all go.” Everyone turned to look at Sunset. “Twilight and I arrived by train and we will have to work out somewhere to stay, or find somewhere to skulk until the first train back to Manehatten.” She glanced down at Twilight. “Did you actually have a plan to get back?”
“Skulk at the station,” Twilight replied sheepishly.
Sunset rolled her eyes and turned back to the others. “It’s late, and you all need to get home. I know you're all adults but that doesn’t mean you're not at risk on your own. Fluttershy and Rainbow? I take it you two are together?”
“If by that you mean travelling, then yes,” Fluttershy replied, her tone a little cold.
“And in the other sense?”
Fluttershy and Rainbow shared a confused and pained look. “It's complicated.”
‘I bet it is’ Sunset thought to herself. “What about you Rarity? I know Applejack parked out the front of CHS.”
“My car is a few streets from there.” She replied.
“Walk back together and then give Rarity a lift to her car.” Sunset directed to Applejack. “You can swap numbers on the way.” She added with a cheeky grin, getting a raised eyebrow from Applejack and another huff from Rarity.
Without another word both pairs turned in opposite directions and vanished into the night. Sunset noticed Rainbow look back over her shoulder at her but Sunset just waved back. Applejack and Rarity walked a little further apart than was normal but given the evening they’d all had, Sunset was glad they had taken her suggestions without any complaint. It was an odd end to an even odder evening. ‘Except it still isn’t quite over’, she reminded herself.
Beside her, Twilight watched both pairs go nervously then looked up at Sunset. “So, uh, want another ice cream?” She asked an embarrassed smile on her face.
Shaking her head, Sunset slumped down on the wet bench behind them and flopped back in it, staring up at the clouds above and savouring the drizzle that landed on her face, cooling and soothing her mind. This was all just so, well, she didn’t know what it was. And not just weird but painful, painful in a way that Sunset hadn’t felt in a long time. She was surprised she had kept her composure as long as she had. Too many things this night brought back dark memories that she had managed to soothe and erode over time to manageable sizes, but it didn’t mean she no longer carried them. That image of a red bath was never going to leave her mind. Talking to Rainbow Dash in the bathroom had taken a lot of willpower and self-control as a result, and even now she resisted the urge to grab her own wrists to check they were unmarked, that phantom fear and feeling returning to her skin.
Sunset felt Twilight shuffle up beside her and lean into her, her small frame fitting neatly against her own. She lifted her arm and draped it gently around Twilight’s shoulders, pulling her close and leaning into her warmth.
“You said you loved me.” Twilight's words made Sunset’s heart skip. “Did you mean it?”
“Of course,” Sunset replied, doing her best to keep her voice level.
“What kind of love?”
Sunset’s mind stalled. Did she have to ask this now? Of all the times. It didn’t help that Sunset herself didn’t even know. ‘Well, you need to tell her something’ part of her responded, ‘and quickly.”
“Sunset?”
One hand moved up to Twilight’s cheek, turning her to face Sunset. Their eyes locked, teal and purple reflecting off one another. Sunset felt Twilight freeze as her lips pressed against Twilight’s forehead and damp hair. She smelt of blueberries and rain.
“Sunset?”
Sunset’s head snapped to the left. Standing just a few meters away was the princess and her friend, both somehow a lot drier than they should be and wearing completely different clothes. Both were staring at the pair on the bench in surprise. Sunset, however, saw a clear difference in their expressions. Where Starlight’s surprise was one bordering on amusement, the Princess looked like she had just been stabbed in the back.
“Yes?” Sunset replied, doing her best to keep her Twilight close.
“We have an offer for you both.” the Princess continued, doing her best to maintain her composure. “We heard from Rarity and Applejack that you both had quite a few hours to wait until you can catch your train home. We wondered if, in that time, you would like a short trip to Equestria?”
Sunset’s jaw dropped. Beside her Twilight sat bolt upright, already leaning out of her seat.
“There is a time dilation difference between our worlds, which would give you enough time to sleep and then spend a few hours with us before coming back. The portal will remain open for another sixty of your hours, so you would be at no risk of being trapped on our side. That is if you both want too?”
Sunset and Twilight looked at one another. Twilight had gone from incredibly nervous to bouncing and rocking in her seat, her eyes like saucers, biting her lip and not even needing to utter a word to let Sunset know what she wanted. Sunset’s own heart pounded, reasons for and against rushing through her head like opposing trains.
“Are you sure it’s safe?” Sunset asked slowly.
“Absolutely.” Princess Twilight replied. At least she seemed confident in that. Beside her, Starlight looked a little nervous, even worried, but Sunset could see why.
Before she could talk herself out of it, Sunset stood up and moved towards the pair of them. Holding the Princesses gaze, Sunset tried to see past her offer and wonder what else she might have to gain. She could be kidnapping her, keeping the one Sunset she knew for herself but even by her own standards that felt ludicrous. Only one thing made sense.
“You want to see her again don’t you,” Sunset muttered slowly. “It’s not really me you want, it’s her.” The way the Princess looked down confirmed Sunset’s logic. “Well, at least you aren’t so heartbroken and crazed to not be capable of telling us apart.” Sunset’s eyes flitted to Starlight who gave an honest shrug, perhaps being embarrassed by her mentor's desires. Sunset could see both sides, but if anything weird was going to happen, it would be today.
“And in return, Twilight here gets her wish to see and experience a whole new world.” Sunset continued. “And I get?”
“A chance to get to know the amazing mare that was Sunset Shimmer,” Twilight replied. “I don’t know if it will help, but I hope it will help you see both the similarities and the differences. Show that while you are both exceptionally similar, you are two unique and distinct people.”
Again, Sunset examined the two women before her, using her teacher's mind to try and spot the lie, or see the half-truth, but there didn’t seem to be one. A muddled path or misunderstood thought, but no obvious deception or deceit.
Still, something gnawed at her.
“No.” she answered, wincing at Twilight’s gasp beside her. “No thank you.”
“Sunset! What are you,”
“I said no Twilight.” Sunset snapped. “I can’t take any more of this. I can’t think straight. I’m tired, upset, drained and taking you there too, right now, feels like a bad idea too. You’re just as tired and stressed as I am and I know what happens when you end up like that, I’ve seen it enough times.” Twilight’s mouth opened and closed like a goldfish gasping for air, trying to reason and formulate a compelling response. “See, if this was in the lab you would have let off a string of balanced reasons for and against by now.” Sunset stared at Twilight, pressing her point home until Twilight slumped.
“Thirty months, and it will open again.” Starlight cut in. “And again, and again. This won’t be your last opportunity.” These words seemed to placate both Twilight's, the Princess looking like she was having to put off indulging in a guilty pleasure, while the other looking determined and calculating, planning her future moves carefully.
After a long silence, Sunset took Twilight's hand and began to steer her way.
“Wait!” the Princess called. “Please, just a little longer.” She begged quietly.
“I’m sorry Princess, but I’m not her.” Sunset replied, her heart aching at her own words. “I can’t replace her, and I won’t, for your sake and her memory.” A thought crossed her mind. “Go back to the school, when we first met there was a beautiful memorial in the forest, it might still be there. You might find it helpful.”
Without another word Sunset forced herself to turn and marched Twilight away into the gloomy night.