//------------------------------// // Two: Spa Day // Story: Obsidian: Shards Of Sombra // by Randimaxis //------------------------------// They began to make their way through Ponyville, heading to Wart's home. It was a rather small and modest cottage, efficient and tidy. Reaching the doorway, Wart opened the door and waved them inside. Her home consisted of a living room, a restroom, a kitchen and a bedroom - and that was it. There was attic space, assumedly, but Obsidian had never seen the small mare utilize it. The place was sparsely decorated... but the Royal Guard recruitment posters were visible on every wall, all framed meticulously and always clean and dust-free. Mica had openly wondered once if, without Obsidian, Wart simply would have spent her time cleaning and training - and nothing else. He'd been the one to pose to Obsidian that Wart's friendship with her was good for Wart, as well as Obsidian herself; it kept the tiny mare from being a perpetual homebody. Wart went into her bedroom and closed the door as she changed out of her armor. Clap, sighing, plopped herself down onto the single couch in the living room. "She doesn't even have a T.V., for crying out loud," she remarked. Siddy had seen this invention before; it seemed to be entertaining to others, but so far had been nothing but a noise generator to the sensible and study-prone Obsidian. Lemon wanted to see where her Gray Magic grew stronger, eh? But that was the problem with this accursed thing - with both Dark and Light Magic drawing powers from completely different sources, it was hard to maintain a balance. Onyx had cheated - she merely used two different amulets, both filled with raw magic, and didn't have to worry about anything. Obsidian, however, also the issue that the thoughts and emotions used to power Dark Magic weren't very nice. But first things first. Wart's house; it was just like its' owner - small, clean, and organized. And perhaps a bit obsessed with Royal Guardponies. It had been quite some shocking information for Obsidian that apparently her friendship was good for somepony else. And it was apparently helping this same somepony to become more sociable. In her own opinion, it was truly a great irony that a Dark Princess who didn't even know the meaning of the word 'friendship' had brought another pony out of her shell, completely by accident. Obsidian was Stalwart's own private miracle, a real life-changer. "Eh, I have never truly found T.V. too interesting," Obsidian mused, "though she could stand to have a few more books, mayhaps..." The bedroom door opened, and Wart came out wearing a simple barding that allowed for a small knapsack and (of course) the crest of the Equestrian Royal Guard. In fact, ever since she joined the trainee ranks, just about everything she owned clothing-wise had a small Equestrian Shield on it. Obsessed was somewhat mild in describing the little mare's dedication. "Though I do not wish to endure such a thing," she grumped to Clap, "I shall do so, in order to protect Lady Siddy from any... indignities she might encounter." Thunderclap rolled her eyes. "Warty, for cryin' out loud, relax girl! This is for fun, not a training exercise!" Wart leaned close to Obsidian and spoke low, "If it were, I'd doubtless have been doing so already." "Okay, we're ready now? PLEASE say we can go straight there!" Clap looked as if one more delay, and she might shrivel up into nothingness. Truth be told, Obsidian mused that if she ever became an actual Equestrian princess (or QUEEN!), Stalwart would probably literally turn into her shadow. Like, literally-literally, especially if Obsidian dared to teach her just a tiiiiiiiny bit of Dark Magic... Siddy pat-patted Stalwart a bit, which was far easier than doing so with Thunderclap... mostly due to the size difference. She felt a small, sadistic urge to ask to use her bathroom, but that would be pure cruelty - it could kill Thunderclap or worse, make her bored. And a bored Thunderclap was dangerous to everypony around - herself included. "Don't worry, Stalwart; there's always the possibility that I won't like it, and we will never go there again," She tried to cheer Wart up a bit. Then, however, she smiled slyly. "But of course, if I start to like it... yes, let's go, Clap." "Finally! Race ya!" And just like that, she was out the door and gone, before anyone could blink. Wart frowned as her front door slammed hard into the wall, but made her own way out (holding the door for Siddy, of course), and closed it behind her. "Fortunately, Lady Siddy, I know where this... spa is. Shall we go... or would you rather we take an alternate route?" Her last suggestion brought forth a smile, albeit a somewhat naughty one. "After all, Thunderclap most certainly will have to wait for us anyway - would it truly kill her to learn a bit more patience?" Her serious face returned, however. "But if this is what you wish, I shall not impede you, Lady Siddy." Racing really makes no sense if the other ponies involved have no idea where the finishing line is... and Thunderclap should already know that. Plus, being the one calling for a 'race' and then immediately starting to run was kind of cheating, too. It was almost as if she didn't want them to get there on time, or talk with them on their way there. "Well, I have no idea where the spa is - so it could be understandable that I've lost my way, right?" Obsidian tapped her chin a bit. "... but we shouldn't make this alternate route too long, though - a Bored Clap is a Dangerous Clap. Besides, I'd like to get there on time; I'm somewhat curious about what this 'spa' really is." Wart nodded, and began walking alongside Obsidian. "From what I have gathered," Wart began, "a spa is a place of vanity. It allows for those who come there to receive an ample amount of 'pampering', as in some strange rituals I have heard name only of - such as 'facials', and 'massages', and even the dreaded 'hooficure'. I have seen many foppish and self-important ponies frequent the establishment, and I made the assessment long ago that such places were not for one such as myself." The way they took was along the main street, but Wart seemed to be in no real hurry. "Though I will admit, Lady Rarity and even Lady Dash have frequented the place many times; it leaves me to wonder what would attract such pillars of our community. Indeed, I have even heard tell of Princess Twilight going to this place, on rare occasion. However, the thing that strikes me is that no one seems to wish to go alone; it is apparently some sort of social thing." She shrugged. "Honestly, I would much rather be training... but if my friends wish my presence, I would be remiss to say no. So take heart, Lady Siddy - I am here for you." She smiled and rolled her eyes. "And Clap as well, I suppose." A social thing, eh? Perhaps it was a good thing that Obsidian was getting more sociable lately - at least compared to her good old days in the Crystal Empire. There were multiple things that could be done at this place, apparently, and it wouldn't hurt to both enjoy time with her friends and get some 'pampering'. Didn't Lemon, during their first meeting, call her 'pampered'? Well, maybe Obsidian didn't look like an underweight victim of abuse with tatty mane anymore, but she was curious what exactly Lemon meant. It was time to check it out. "It should at least be an interesting experience," she mused. Wart and Obsidian continued to make their way toward the spa; the little mare seemed just to be happy to be alongside Siddy, and didn't even need to converse - though she was happy to do so - and it was something to be said that she felt comfortable in silence near her best friend. Not for the first time, that fact seemed to strike a chord in Obsidian; she was Cup's marefriend, yes... and had a number of other friends... but to be called somepony's best friend? Well, there was something special about that, no doubt. Granted, Obsidian may not have been certain of HOW special it was, but she knew that it felt good to be called such - especially by such an honorable and decent mare... not to mention one as steeped in kickflank as Stalwart was. Who would have thought, back during their first meeting, that Obsidian would turn out to be Stalwart's best friend? The poor mare got her connections with the rest of the group mainly by using her as a proxy... though getting her out of her shell felt nice. At length (after stopping at a stand for a pair of chocolate-dipped bananas), they reached the spa, where they found Clap pacing outside, looking a bit frustrated. When she caught sight of them, she made her way over. "'Bout time! It took you guys forEVer to get here! I mean, I know I'm fast, but... hey! Are those... bananas!?" She huffed. "You two stopped for food!?" "Of course," Wart calmly replied, a look of non-chalant calm on her muzzle, "I was not about to let Lady Siddy go hungry; there would have been one for you, but you weren't with us, so..." She looked at the pegasus with meaning in her gaze. Clap grumbled, "Not fair - I LOVE those things!" "Then next time," Wart admonished lightly, "you might do yourself a favor and wait for your companions, yes?" "You know, Clap, if you truly wish to race with another pony, you may want to check to see if they know where the finish line is first. I certainly can't run to the spa if I don't really know where it is, right?" These races were a bit amusing, but mainly used as a way to get rid of her temporarily... just like Mica did after their first meeting. In other cases though, they were somewhat problematic. At least it seemed she learned her lesson... for the next hour or so. She groaned, then gave a huff. "Well, you're here now, so we can get on with this! C'mon," she said, her foul mood melting away quickly, "let's... get... fabulous!" Stopping to get these bananas was kind of rubbing salt in the wound, wasn't it? Not that Obsidian complained - the mix of a fresh banana and the sweet chocolate was nice... though, as everypony knew, apples in chocolate were the best. Especially when the fruits were a bit sour - it was a grand mix of flavours! "Want a bite?" Obsidian offered Clap her chocobanana. Clap grinned at the offer of a bite, and took one. Only one. ... well, it had been tasty while it lasted, anyway. In they went. The spa's front area was, indeed, lush and expensive-looking. Couches that looked plush, soft colors and lights, and even the receptionist was a rather smooth-looking and lovely young mare. Stalwart wasn't kidding - this place looked rather foppish, indeed; hopefully, it would be worth the visit. Clap made her way over to a desk where a lovely young mare sat, smiling sweetly. "Ah, bonjour madame Dash - zhou are right on time! We have been awaiting your presence; I assume zat zese are ze others zat were to accompany vous, oui?" "Yeah, all three of us, Beret - and I wanna get the 'Deluxe Princess Package', times three!" "Ooh la la!" she exclaimed in her strange accent, "zis will go upon ze tab, no?" "Oh yeah," Clap grinned, "I always pay on time, right? Won't be a problem, will it?" "Non non! Zis is fine; ze rooms are set up accordingly, madame - sauna number seven shall be yours to enjoy! When zhou have finished your steaming, we will send ze masseuses in to see to your poor, aching muscles." "Eh, go kinda easy on these two," she said with a wink, "it's their first time." The mare (Beret, which she wore one of) smiled richly at them both. "Zere is not a sing to worry about; we shall care for zhou as if zhou were royalty!" It was only natural that the one who brought them all here would act as their vanguard, dealing with the monetary aspect of this trip. It certainly didn't help that Stalwart had only a vague knowledge about the local services... and Obsidian knew even less. The 'Princess Package' sounded good, and besides that, Beret was completely right - at least one of them was royalty, so she should be cared for as one anyway, right? Perhaps her title was rather... dubious... and maybe her claim to it as well, but it didn't change anything in Siddy's eyes. "C'mon," Clap said, directing them to a door with a sign proclaiming 'Suite Seven' on it, "in here." The room was cozy and slightly warm. Clap went to the wall of lockers and began to remove her saddlebags and other accessories, placing them inside one of them. "You guys gotta take everything off, and grab a towel; put your stuff in the lockers. Once you're ready, follow me into the sauna. Don't worry," she held up a hoof to silence the inevitable questions, "I'll explain when we're inside." With that, she sauntered into the sauna. Wart looked at Siddy, shrugged, and began to remove her barding. Luckily, Obsidian didn't have too many things with her, so putting all of her stuff into a locker didn't take too much time. Now... towel, get inside, done. It was a bit warm in here... by Darkness, it wasn't a torture chamber, was it? The room was almost completely boarded with wood - the walls, the ceiling, the plank flooring... except for a wooden bench at each wall, a small, square stone structure in the center, and what looked to be a small, pony-made waterfall in the far corner, flowing into a little pool with a ladle and a bucket next to it. Curious. When they got inside, Clap closed the door and pointed a hoof at the benches. "Sit - I'll get the steam going." Wart gave Obsidian a quizzical look, but sat down all the same. Clap went to the corner, grabbed the bucket and held it under the little waterfall, filling it. She then brought it over to the stone box... but she looked up first at her friends. "Okay, so there's rocks in here that are magically heated; when I pour this bucket of water on 'em, they'll make a LOT of steam. It might be loud, so I wanted to make sure neither of you got, like, battle-ready when it happens, okay? It's JUST steam." She then poured the water on them evenly and slowly. >sssssssssSSSSSSSSSS...< It was a bit sudden, but the sound wasn't too much. The steam began rising from the stone box, and started to fill the room with wet heat. Good thing Thunderclap warned them; it sure would have looked stupid if Obsidian immediately cast a shield spell... though it wasn't THAT necessary, as she trusted her friend and knew (or at least hoped - it was Clap they were talking about) that there would be no harm in following her example. However, it was still a rather strange ritual. Clap made her way over to the bench and smiled. "Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh... okay, NOW we can start relaxing. See, the steam starts soaking into our coats and skin, and helps to clean all that ground-in dirt and stuff out, plus it helps us sweat out some of the natural toxins we pick up in everyday doings. A good sit in here for a while will get us good and ready for the massages coming our way!" So they were now going to soak with steamed water... and that will make them clean, but apparently in a different way than a bath or a shower. She sat back and closed her eyes. "I tell ya, girls - you'll be thanking me when it's all over and done; trust me. So, what should we chat abut while we soak?" Wart looked at Obsidian and shrugged. "Political reforms in Equestria after the banishment of Nightmare Moon?" Siddy asked innocently, knowing that it would convince Wart and especially Clap to pick-up something far more interesting to discuss. Clap wrinkled her snout. "Ew, ick. Politics? Really?" "Well then," Wart spoke up, "what do mares who frequent this establishment often talk about?" Clap's smile grew wide. "Stallions! Personally, I think we oughtta talk about the stallions we know, and who's the most handsome out of all of 'em!" Wart quirked an eyebrow. "They truly talk abou-" "Yeah, they do," the pegasus interrupted, "so - I say Licorice Twist takes a pretty high place on MY list! I mean, c'mon - with that jet black coat, and those foine flanks of his, I'd say you'd be hard pressed to find another stallion who looks better than HE does!" Wart blinked; she was obviously clueless. "Whadda YOU say, Sids?" Clap looked to Obsidian. "I mean, yeah, Cuppie's kinda cute - I guess - but Licky! Oh, he's a dream!" Obsidian giggled. They quickly found a good topic, didn't they? For a dreadful moment, she was actually afraid that Stalwart wouldn't get the joke and/or would try to follow that topic. It wasn't bad, per se, but it would be more interesting to talk about such a subject with Gypsy... or rather listen to his monologue, as his knowledge about this topic was probably far more detailed than her own. Hunh... what a strange topic to discuss during their supposed 'melting'. "In my opinion, Licorice has one very specific flaw that taints his image in my eyes; at first, I thought that he kind of reminds me of my Father. As such, I think I prefer the look of his brother..." She lowered her voice and braced herself to say it as calmly as possible. "After all, Lemon looks rather nice when you get used to that mane of his." Of course, she was merely jesting... but it was a good opportunity for a bait-and-switch kind of joke. Wart's mouth dropped open, but Clap started laughing. "Lemon!? HAAAAA-hahahahahahahahaaaa! You've gotta be kidding me! I mean, yeah, he's a bigwig in Twilight's cabinet, and he's got a good chunk of teke ability, and he's still not-quite middle age, and... and..." Clap sat back, hoof to chin. "Y'know, come to think of it, he really isn't hard to look at... hunh. Who'da thought HE was kinda cute?" Wart, however, stammered out, "What... why would... I could never see my superior in such a way! That's... b-but, WHY!?" Clap just laughed harder at poor Wart. "Ah, he's kinda cute - okay, I admit, not what I thought you'd say, Sids! Good on ya! But let's see... OOH! Lemme tell ya," she grinned salaciously at Wart, "I kinda think that Captain Shining Armor's still got it; I mean, he's got some age on him, and he IS still married, but... ooh, what a view! Handsome, charming, and I'll bet he's as far removed from being an egghead as possible! He looks so... studly!" Wart's mouth did another drop open. "NO! NO! Captain Armor is... is... he's off limits!" "I know," Clap cooed, "that makes him... 'forbidden fruit', so to speak!" Clap winked at Siddy, obviously having fun making Wart balk. "Incorrigible!" Wart exclaimed. "Okay, then - what sort of stallion do YOU go for, girl?" Clap leaned forward, eager to hear her friend's opinion. Wart suddenly and thickly blushed. Clap picked up on it quickly. "Oh-ho-ho! So the Royal Guard does have someone in mind, does she? Tell us tell us tellllll us!" Wart looked at Clap, then at Obsidian, then murmured something so softly, neither mare could make it out. "Eh? Whazzat? I didn't hear you, Warty!" The murmur came again, followed by an even deeper blush. "Girl, speak up before I come and noogie it outta ya!" Clap threatened. (What was a 'noogie'?) Wart looked at Obsidian for support, or maybe a rescue? Clap, meanwhile, was on the edge of her bench to find out. Obsidian had completely forgotten about the job connections between Lemon and Stalwart, making her joke even more entertaining than she thought initially! Thunderclap, without a single bit of mercy in her heart, followed her example and started to gush over the current prince-consort of the Crystal Empire. Unfortunately, Obsidian didn't really know how he looked like (she thought that she might have seen him in a history book once, but she wasn't sure and couldn't remember the details anyway), so she couldn't voice her own opinion. Obsidian slided a bit closer to Stalwart. "Come on, girl - just follow our brave example. If you don't want to say it aloud, just whisper it," She leaned a bit closer to make it easier. Wart looked at Obsidian as if to say, et tu, Siddy? However, she cleared her throat and spoke only slightly louder, but it was enough to be heard. "I... I th-think... I think that Midnight Star is nice." Thunderclap stared for a moment, then... "You're kidding, right? The Supreme Egghead himself? REALLY!?" And at that, Clap started laughing and Wart hid her muzzle in her hooves, blushing furiously. By Darkness, the tiny mare was adorable when she blushed! And what you do with adorable mares? You hug them, of course, just as the Dark Princess did. "Awww, good for you, Stalwart!" Obsidian cheered her on, "... I mean, I have no idea who he is, but good for you anyway!" Supreme Egghead, eh? So, it was most likely that he wasn't a member of the Royal Guard, apparently. Wart's blush redoubled when she was hugged, and Clap just kept laughing for a solid minute before finally calming down enough to speak. "Oh... ho ho ho... oh, that's RICH! Whoooo, THAT felt good! Thanks for the chuckles, Warty!" Wart refused to look up, blushing pink and cute. "Midnight Star," Clap told Obsidian, "is Twilight Sparkle's only colt; he's a scrawny, glasses-wearing, mouth-breathing little egghead, always knew everything and loved to talk about it! I mean, he even wore these thick ol' glasses, that made him look like an owl or something!" She looked at Wart. "You like that!?" Wart gave a subdued glare at Clap. "He was nice to me. Always. Not like some ponies I can think of." With that, it was Thunderclap's turn to blush and look away from Wart. "Y-yeah, well... that was a long time ago, Wart - I'm nothing like that anymore. C'mon, don't bring that stuff up, we're trying to have fun here!" Wart sighed, then looked at Obsidian. "Star was always kind to others, and was very wise for his age, and he always knew about the Royal Guards and their history - he even told me he wished he could be one when he grew up. Just like me..." "Yeah," Clap added, "but his Mom sent him off to learn abroad, over in Griffonstone - and he hasn't been home yet, not even once. That was... heck, it was a long time ago, wasn't it?" Wart nodded. "Yes. He's been gone for quite a while... though Princess Twilight does receive letters from him regularly. She seems happy to hear from him, and she seems proud of him." Clap chuckled. "No surprise, there - the Queen of the Eggheads, proud of Prince Egghead. Makes sense." "Clap," Wart looked at her, "please stop speaking badly about him." Princess Twilight had a son? Who was her husband, then? Obsidian had spent almost a month here, and yet she wasn't sure if she had ever heard about any prince-consort... and Griffonstone? What was wrong with the schools in Equestria? It sounded strange - but at least it seemed that Wart's crush was fairly strong. "Okay, okay," she held up her hooves in surrender, "another subject, then - so Sids," Clap looked at her, "what's with your brother, Tourmaline? I mean yeah, he WAS a jerk, but he's kinda getting cute too. What's his deal?" Obsidian almost choked when Thunderclap mentioned Tourmy. Him? Cute? By Darkness, she was talking about her rather murderous brother! "He only seems to hang out with that griffon friend of his... I don't think he even once talked about any mare," she admitted, "and besides, in our house, Cupcake is the best looking stallion!" Clap waved her hoof. "Yeah, yeah, we KNOW you like the Sprinkles, but c'mon - what about Tourmy? You have GOT to come clean on it, girl! I mean, if Warty's gotta deal with you talking about her boss, for cryin' out loud, then we deserve to hear about him! He keeps working out in your yard, and I've seen him; them flanks are getting buff, too!" Wart gave Siddy a similar look now. "Yes, Lady Siddy... why won't you speak of your brother? Granted, he needed his flank kicked first, but it does seem to have... recovered... well enough, yes?" "I shall NOT advertise my brother's flank... or any other parts of his body! Checking out if his flank recovered in this particular sense would be a strange thing to do to your own brother, am I right?" Obsidian looked up, as if asking heavens themselves to come and help her. Unfortunately, she could only see a lot of steam and a wood-planked ceiling. She wondered for a moment. "Although, maybe getting Stalwart into the family would be worth it..." she muttered in an attempt to counter-attack. "I WOULD NEVER!" Wart blurted out, and Clap started laughing. "Awwww, c'mon Warty - you an' Tourmy would look soooooooooo cute together! Plus, you'd be Siddy's sis-in-law; wouldn't you like that?" If looks could kill, Clap would be stone dead. "I. Think. NOT." "Seriously though," Clap went on, "if we gotta talk about cuties, then we can't forget Creature Comfort, either. He might be shy, but he's got that almost-emo feel to him! And anyone who likes and cares for animals like he does is a bit of okay in MY book." "Creature," Wart spoke up, calming herself, "is kind and sweet to his charges; too bad he seems to have a double dose of his mother's shyness." "Yeah, a real shame... heck, I don't think we've actually laid eyes on him in, what, a year or two?" Clap looked as though she was thinking, "Y'know, maybe he got cuter?" Wart shrugged, but seemed to be thinking about it as well. That was the problem with talking about these kinds of things - Obsidian really didn't know too many stallions, which both meant that she didn't know who they were talking about and couldn't propose many stallions on her own. "Creature Comfort?" A stallion with an extreme case of shyness... oh, that should be easy. "Let me try to guess - is he related to Professor Fluttershy?" "Ding ding ding! Right on the first try!" Clap smiled, "He's one of three from her; Creature, Shrinking Violet, his sister, and of course, Jynx." Wart nodded. "Yes. She and Discord have done quite well... at least, in most cases." "Yeah," Clap shrugged, "two out of three ain't bad." Obsidian blinked. Then blinked again. "... I... beg your pardon?" Wait, were they serious? Jynx was Fluttershy's daughter!? She had heard that diamond dogs feared Discord and Jynx because of some past misunderstanding or such, but she didn't think it was, well... THAT serious. It was quite a big thing for her to fathom; just how was it possible that she didn't hear about this fact until now? They both looked at her, then Clap facehoofed. "That's right - Siddy doesn't know that stuff!" She took a deep breath, then looked very seriously at her friend. "Okay, I can give you the Elements of Harmony rundown; when me and the others were born, it was a BIG thing, so I keep forgetting that you wouldn't already know!" She cleared her throat. "So: Professor Fluttershy and Discord have those three. Rarity has two, Eloquence and his little sister, Precious Accessory. My Mom only needed me, so that's all she has. Pinkie Pie has Cuppie, Lemon, Blue, Licky and Patty, as you already know. Mama AJ..." She sighed, but continued. "... she had Butter and Washburn Washington... but Wash disappeared when he was only a colt; his barding was found, bloody and torn, in Ghastly Gorge. Broke her heart..." She shook her head, clearing it of sad thoughts. "And Twilight Sparkle has Midnight Star, as you've learned. I think that covers it all, right?" Wart thought a moment, then nodded. "That sounds correct." She looked at Obsidian. "The births were a big thing across Equestria, as they were thought to be the next ones to inherit the Elements. yet, that doesn't seem to have happened..." "Yet!" Clap hastily added, "Doesn't seem to have happened yet! But we'll see, I guess." The mention of Applejack, and the subsequently lost colt Washington, had considerably dampened the mood... though, speaking of damp, Obsidian felt as though she were positively soaked with sweat! She didn't know if it was 'cleansing', but she knew it was certainly 'drenching'. It sounded like the Apple family had quite their fair share of local tragedies. Not only she was the only Element casualty during the invasion, but she had also lost her son... terrible, really. Butter Churn surely had plenty of emotional baggage. Poor girl. And another interesting detail - Clap mentioned only a single father. Curious. Were they that unimportant? She hadn't even met Cup's own father yet... of course, compared to the Bearers of the Elements, they were practically nothing; for Siddy, who had only known her Father and had spent most of her life with him, it was just strange. "Well, we are a band of six friends, with quite a lion's share of the Bearer's relatives... we'll save Equestria once or twice more and receive those Elements, I'm certain." She then gave a thoughtful smirk. "And by the way, sometimes Gypsy's stuttering is quite cute too. I'm not sure about diamond dog's standards of beauty, but he looks quite fine, methinks." Clap gave Obsidian a look. "Whoa - you see him like that? Sids, he's a cute pup, but... I mean, c'mon; we're talking about stallions here!" Well, to be completely and utterly fair, it was probably the last option she had; she surely wasn't going to mention Eloquence, because she wouldn't be really able to call him cute and besides that... who, Markannus? Her father? The total number of stallions she knew by name was very, very limited - so as long as she wanted to be able to say anything in this discussion, she had to use desperate measures. "Oh, I don't know," Wart gave a small smile, "I think Gunther Gadfly is sort of handsome... for a griffon." "HO-kaaaaay, time to call the masseuses in, before this gets weird!" Clap said as she went to the door and leaned her head out. "We're a go, Beret!" In only a moment, three stallions, all wearing matching tan uniforms, entered and offered the three of them bathrobes. When it was placed on her, Obsidian found the terrycloth robe to be warm, soft and quite comfy. They were escorted out of the sauna and down the hall, to another room with strange-looking tables with chunks cut out of one side. When Clap went to one, she lay down with her head in the opening, face down. Now the missing spots made sense. "You two, lie down like this," she gestured from her position, "and prepare to melt!" As they watched, one of the stallions moved up next to Clap and, with his hooves, began to knead at her back. A long, low moan floated up from where the pegasus' head was, and her wings seemed to droop down until they hung limp. "Ohhhhh... ohhh yyyyeeeeeaaaaahhhhh..." Wart looked nervous, and gave the stallion next to her a wary glance. This new room looked strange, but as far as Obsidian was concerned, plenty of things in the modern world were strange; she had to go with the flow. She chose one of the tables and followed Clap's example - after all, the pegasus seemed to be very relaxed right now. She lay down on the table, which turned out to have soft padding to prevent her front from being uncomfortable. It was... different, to say the least. Not uncomfortable, but she couldn't shake the fact she was lying on a table, of all things. She saw the stallion move next to her table, then she felt his hooves on her back, and they began tooosmgngmgv... Hbnaoafb nfklmm. Bkdfhfds ngmbruey gid ngngoendbc... ohhhhhhhh sweeeeeeeet Daaaaaaarrrrrrkneeeeeessssssssss... His hooves had only just started making small circles on her back, but the way he did it, with just the perfect amount of pressure, it was the best sensation of her muscles loosening up as if he'd turned a key in the lock of her back. Thunderclap Dash had been 110% correct... she would have to thank her for this later, because Obsidian had never, ever, ever known such release, such joy, such wonder as a back massage from a professional. "OH!" came from Wart next to her, followed by an "oh...", and then a long, low "ohhhhhhhhhh... sweeeeeeet... Twiiiiiiiiiiiiilllliiiiiiiiiiiiight..." Seems like Wart followed suit... and didn't regret it, either. Okay, it was worth coming here and getting over her touching issues... and Stalwart surely would agree it was worth it as well. To think that Obsidian thought initially that 'melting' was just an idiom or a kind of saying - but right now, she felt as if her muscles and bones were literally turning to goo... The three mares enjoyed melting all over the tables for close to half an hour before the stallions left. "... noooooo... don't... gooooo..." Wart's tiny voice softly protested as she weakly lifted a hoof towards the stallion who had thoroughly worked his hoof-magic on her. Who would think that Stalwart would crave a stallion's attention so much? And so desperately? Aaaaaah, and yet she almost seemed to be out of energy completely. Onyx and King Sombra would easily have won if they would have given Obsidian and her friends a massage like this. Clap, however, laughed heartily and sat up; how that mare wasn't a puddle of goo was beyond Obsidian, but she did seem to do this frequently, so perhaps she had been acclimated to it? "Okay, you two - time for the mudbath!" The what now..? "Mudbath? It's not over yet?" Obsidian barely managed to mutter. Just how much pleasure would they have to endure here? And wait, mud? Well, Siddy had to sit up too - even though she didn't really want to. Wart reluctantly followed suit. "I feel... all... melty..." Clap grinned, "Yeah, that'll happen - okay, c'mon you two lightweights." She led them (why were her legs so wobbly?) to another room, this one with in-ground bathtubs that were filled with, yes, a grey-ish mud substance. As Obsidian watched, Clap simply got right into the tub, sliding down into the mud and wriggling down into it until just her head was poking out. She then smiled up at them both. Lightweight? In a way, Obsidian was sure that she and Stalwart had enjoyed it far more than Thunderclap, who was more or less used to it; experiencing something like that for the first time in life was truly a wonderful experience. And it seemed that something more was waiting for them. Mud. A lot of mud. "How in the wide, wide world of Equestria," Wart said, "is this supposed to be relaxing?" "It's not, like, dirt mud; it's more like a mixture of clean dirt, mineral water, magic herbs and certain natural juices that make it good for your pores and your mane and tail; trust me, will ya? I mean, you liked the massages, right?" Wart looked to Obsidian, shrugged, and moved to a tub. She gingerly put a hoof in, and her eyes widened. "It's warm!" Clap chuckled. "Yeah, more magic. It's fine, you'll see!" Wart carefully and slowly slid into the mud tub, settling back into it as she did. With her tiny stature, the tub almost swallowed the mare whole... but Wart adjusted, and sat back. The look on her muzzle was one of assessment, then she slowly smiled and looked up at Siddy. "It's... not bad, actually. It's warm and it does make my coat tingle a bit. I would actually suggest you try it, Lady Siddy... it feels good on my back, after that massaaaaaage..." She spoke the last word as if it were slurring out of her mouth, and was accompanied with a wistful smile. It didn't look too inviting, but Thunderclap slid inside without hesitation and Stalwart after a moment followed her. What else could Obsidian do except to end up following their example? After this wonderful massage, she was far more trusting of Clap's decisions in this situation. Wart was right; the mud stuff was warm, and it did make her coat tingle! Two mares entered the room, and both made their way over to Clap; they proceeded to slather some sort of greenish goo over her muzzle, after putting... were those cucumber slices?... over her eyes. "Yeah, make sure you let these two do their thing... the green stuff helps, uh... eks... exfo..." "Exfoliate, Miss Dash," one of the ponies spoke up. "Yeah, that. It does that thing to your face, which feels great. The cuke slices just sorta keep it from getting in your eyes." "They also serve as nutrients to your eye areas, reduce wrinkles and promote healthy, no-bags-under-the-eyes looks," the other pony said with a grin. Clap sighed and settled back into the mud. After they finished with her, they moved over to Wart, who looked somewhat skeptical... yet, once they started, she let them finish without a complaint. Once Wart was done, they moved over to Obsidian, and began the process on- OOH! That green stuff was chilly! However, it most certainly did feel strangely invigorating, lying in a tub of 'clean' mud, face covered in green goo and cucumber slices over her eyes. Weird, but somehow relaxing. Once their task was done, the two mares exited without a word. Dear diary - Today, I've ended up in mud up to my neck... and as soon as I stopped getting deeper into the tub, two mares put more of some rather muddy stuff on my face, along with two cucumbers. It felt wonderful. Yours truly, Obsidian. Though not much time had passed since she'd left Crystal Empire, Obsidian could still clearly remember the heavy bags under her eyes she'd once had. The cleansing of her body by the Light Magic amulet had helped her with that a bit, but her current life meant that sooner or later she'd get them back... so it was nice to actually fight against it. After melting her with the massage, this mudbath felt rather... calm. Relaxing, in non-invasive way. A wonderful place to just sit down calmly and let your thoughts wander. "So..." Clap said, "am I right, or am I right? Is this not the best?" She heard Stalwart sigh. "I will admit... this is most enjoyable. I had thought that this was nothing more than a useless piece of decadence... and it IS decadent... but ohhh, so very far from useless. I believe I can feel muscles in my body that became too tight to feel years ago..." "Ain't it somethin', though? Yo Sids," Clap spoke up just a bit, "how 'bout you? You enjoying yourself over there?" "I'm exceedingly glad I've gotten over my fear of being touched, or my disdain for things that weren't approved by my dear Father; I feel relaxed in places I didn't even know about," Siddy sighed happily. Aaaaaah... maybe she could get funding from Princess Twilight for more of this 'spa' thing? She could write a treatise, 'The Influence of Spa Relaxations on Light Magic Power'... and with the success of such a paper, bands of massagers would be treating warlocks before each battle! "Eeyup... this is the life, eh girls?" Clap sighed. The mudbath lasted for a good forty-five minutes, after which the three of them were brought to warm showers that cleaned them off thoroughly. Feeling rejuventaed, however, was apparently only a portion of the 'Deluxe Princess Package', as now the three were sat down in very comfy chairs and tended to by at least four ponies each. These spa pones began handling different jobs for each one of them; Obsidian saw one that was shaping and filing her hooves, one that was actively brushing her coat with a wonderfully stiff-bristled brush, one that was combing out her mane and another that was doing the same for her tail. Her other friends were getting the same treatment; it almost seemed like a small army was here, just to tend to the three of them. As the hour stretched onward, Siddy watched as Clap and Wart both began to look rather well-groomed and lovely, their manes and tails properly brushed and styled, their hooves immaculate, their faces bright and their coats impeccable. Wart was done first, and she looked as though she belonged on a recruitment poster herself; with her appearance, the Royal Guardhouse would be overrun with stallions! Clap came next, and she was positively radiant with healthy good looks and well-groomed style. Her mane, usually slightly windblown, now looked charming enough to rival Rarity! However, when Siddy was done, both her friends just stared at her, eyes wide and (at least in Clap's case) jaws hanging open. "Lady Obsidian," Wart spoke reverently, "you look... fantastic." "You kiddin'?" Clap countered. "She looks like she'd give any mare in Equestria a run for their money! You look good, marefriend! Woo-hoo!" She must have been right, because even a few of the spa ponies were staring a bit - and one would think they'd seen it all! By Darkness... okay, let's be completely fair and honest; Obsidian just couldn't continue her research today. She was so relaxed and calm that she couldn't even have a single negative thought to feed her Dark Magic with - and just reading about this stuff, without trying it herself, would be a rather pointless experience. No, really, this whole rejuvenation could be weaponized - massagers tending to unicorns who were capable of Dark Magic, or maybe using their skills to weaken down captured enemy warlocks and banish each single grim thought from their heads. Perhaps even her own Father would enjoy it, making it possible to reach his cold, black heart... though spa ponies could have a reason or two to dislike this specific client. Though, in this case, they could probably skip this part, as treating King Sombra's mane would probably annoy him. Shaping his hooves would be even worse... And as soon as they were finished, they all looked like completely new mares. Of course, Obsidian never really cared about her appearance, but it was certainly better to look nice than to look shabby. "You two look fantastic too," she smiled... then she got an idea. "Do you think we should get a photo of us three...?" Clap smiled and nodded vigorously. "Hay, yeah! We need a camera! What a great idea!" One of the spa ponies nudged another one with an elbow, and then spoke up. "Clean Whistle has one!" The pony who got nudged nodded and smiled. "For such a bee-you-tee-full bunch, I shall even do so for free, madames!" Wart looked a bit taken aback. "I... are you saying that I look as good as you two do?" Clap laughed, "Well, maybe not as good as Siddy here, but yeah you clean up NICE, Wart!" Stalwart Stance blushed sweetly, but wore a big grin as she did. "Thank you, Thunderclap - I appreciate your kind words." While the spa pony went to fetch her camera, Clap leaned in close to Obsidian. "Beats shopping in your book, I'll bet, huh?" Of course it was a great idea - after all, it was HER idea - and she really liked the thought that they could just freeze this moment in time and make it possible to see it again in the future. Truly, cameras were one of the best inventions of the modern pony era. And the rest apparently approved, including ponies that she didn't even know. How nice of them. "Stalwart, you look perfect. Like an amarezon from legends that were already ancient a thousand years ago. You'd just need a nice, cute bow..." and a thoroughly trounced opponent or two, to serve as a reminder for her enemies that messing with her was a bad idea. A cute, petite, and well-trained mare that, right now, looked like a beauty model. Yup. "Well, Clap, when we went shopping last time, even the mere idea of buying things was kind of alien to me. As well as the idea of getting clothing for personal use. I'd say I would enjoy it more now... but yes, it's great," Siddy smiled. Thunderclap's eyes lit up a bit at Obsidian's words. "Well... I guess we might have to try again sometime, then!" The thought that she would join Clap for shopping again seemed to make the pegasus quite happy. And her compliments to Wart made the mare blush just a tad, but puff out her chest in pride more! Her ear-to-ear smile was more than worth the words, and there was a tingle in her own horn as the tiny mare felt a swell of pride. The spa pony returned with a camera that looked quite technical, with buttons and such. Clap smiled and turned to her friends. "Okay," she beamed, "let's make this as stylish a picture as we possibly can; so good-looking we make the Princesses jealous!" Wart even giggled at that; she must be in good spirits if she let that little slander against royals go so easily. Clap put a foreleg around each of them, placing herself in the middle. "Alright - get the shot! Say 'beauty', you two! BEAUTYYYYYY!" The camera clicked, whirred, and out popped a small white square of paper from the front of the camera. "What manner of camera is that?" Wart said. "Did... d-did it just stick a tongue out at us?" The spa pony only laughed. "Oh, no! This is an instant camera; this is the photograph! Look!" Sure enough, as Siddy watched, the three of them slowly appeared in the photo; Clap looking jaunty, Wart looking proud, and Obsidian looking... wow, was that her??? The picture was perfect; she couldn't have done a better job of it herself. Three beautiful mares, all in one shot. This photo would be priceless, years from now. "Here Sids," Clap held out the still-fading-in photo to her. "You keep this; you need more mementos, and I'm happy to give it to you." Wart grinned. "I concur - please accept this, and cherish it always." Oh yes, let's show the Princesses of Equestria that the Princess of the Crystal Empire (though from an overthrown dynasty with dubious claim, and so on) is fairer than them all! And, wow, that was fast! The effect was quite stunning - the photo seemed to be as good as any other Obsidian had seen in her life, even though it was done in mere seconds. She accepted it, of course; she had no reason to say 'no', especially as those two were offering it to her. "I shall seek out a way to make copies, if I can - we will all get memento of this! Oh, and thank you kindly," she bowed a little to the pony that took this photo for them. "So I guess now that Clap should quickly find Mica, and I should do the same with Cup!" The poor stallions wouldn't even know what hit them. Clap began to grin wickedly. "Heh heh heh, yeah... that sounds like a FINE idea to me, Siddy! Let's see if we can make 'em swim in their own drool! HA!" Wart's mood fell just a tad, but she smiled with her friends. "Well, then I suppose I shall see the two of you at a late-" "HECK no, girl!" Clap laughed. "I wanna see the boys gawk at you too!" Wart seemed as if this thought had never occurred to her before, and she wore a look of surprise as she stared at Thunderclap. "R-really?" Clap gave her a look. "What, you think we were just gonna leave you out to go home and sit there in all this pretty you've got all over ya? No way! C'mon, girls," Clap smiled as she headed for the way out, "we've got some stallions to stun!" Most certainly, Obsidian saw much more of the effect once the trio hit the streets... Stallions, mares and even colts and fillies all watched the three of them as they sauntered by, making their way for the School of Friendship, each one radiant and stylish, each one with admirers all about them, each one a vision of beauty. One mare even smacked her stallionfriend in the back of the head as he turned to watch them go by. To be completely honest, Obsidian thought that their little group would part ways after the whole spa treatment - not that she disliked being with Stalwart or Thunderclap, no... but she just didn't consider that a friendly spa visit would get so prolonged in the aftermath. And right now, these poor stallions were really going to suffer a vicious mental assault! Going straight to her home would be probably an easier and safer option, but it was too late now... hopefully, they weren't getting as much attention as Obsidian thought they were - the last thing she needed was a bunch of admirers or anything like that. Well, they were rather foppish now, right? Hopefully Mica and Cup would survive the onslaught of beauty coming their way. And hopefully they wouldn't run into Lemon.