//------------------------------// // Part I - Chapter 03 - Inadequacies // Story: Three's a crowd // by Gowak //------------------------------// Sunset had braved quite a lot of ordeals in her life. She had fled her mother figure to a whole different world, she had faced magical beings with nothing but songs, she had harnessed magic in its raw form to save her friends... This had done this and many other acts that would be deemed brave, bold or reckless depending on who you would ask. Sunset was used to put her life on the line. For better or for worse, that’s something she was willing to do. But this time… she had found her match. She had found a foe so great, so threatening that she didn’t dare face it head-on: Night Light’s doorbell. It glared at her with its unblinking, metallic eye, daring her to make a move. It had been minutes now and Sunset still wasn’t sure about the right way of proceeding. For the fifteenth time in a minute, she raised her hand to its level, inched her finger closer to the button... then aborted the operation as quickly as possible. “It doesn’t bite,” said a startling voice coming from behind her. She turned quickly to see Night Light carrying a bagful of groceries in his arms and an amicable look on his face. “Well, I assume so. At least last time I checked it was still a normal doorbell.” Concern settled on his face. “Did something magic happen again?” Sunset took a deep breath to fight the waves of panic suddenly crashing on her. She tried to smile with as much confidence she could muster before answering. “No, nothing magic happened…” She stopped and thought about it before adding: “Well nothing that I know of.” “Then,” he said, passing right next to her to open the door, “I guess you’re here for Twilight?” “Yeah,” she admitted. He looked at her, an inscrutable look on his face. “By the look of things, I’d wage it’s a bit complicated right now, right?” “Yeah...” Sunset repeated lamely. “It’s okay, Sunset.” His tone was calm and soothing without the smallest hint of judgement. Sunset felt her tension dissipate a bit. He put the groceries on the floor next to the door and then started looking for his keys. “Do you want me to ‘check if Twilight’s here’,” he said, with a heavy emphasis on the last words and air quotes for good measure. “I’d like that a lot, sir,” she let out with relief. Night Light smiled as he finally managed to get his keys out. “Wait here for a minute, it shouldn’t take long.” Sunset simply nodded, watching him open the door and go inside. She waited, alone with the previously dreaded doorbell, glaring at it victoriously. Until she realised that now she would have to face the root of her anxieties. Questions, fears, hypothetical cataclysmic scenarios came and went through her mind. I hope Twilight’s okay… What if she doesn’t want to see me? Oh my god, I should have taken a shower. Fortunately for her, she didn’t have to simmer for long. She felt her hope rise as she heard the footsteps coming from inside and closing in on the door and it crashed just as fast when she saw Twilight’s father come back, alone. “She’s not here, I presume?” Sunset let out, wrapping her arms around herself. “She’s here,” Night Light reassured. “She just needs a bit of time to get ready.” Sunset perked up immediately, hope rising like a phoenix from the ashes of disappointment. “Oh! Good!” Night Light nodded. “What if we used that time to talk a bit? We never really got to know each other.” She slowly nodded. Suddenly the doorbell didn't seem as scary as before, but at least Night Light she could reason with. That thing on their front wall was inflexible. “Don’t worry, Sunset!” Twilight’s dad said with a reassuring laugh. “I’m not here to intimidate you or anything. Twily's a smart kid. If she decided to date you, that’s enough for me to know you’re a good girl. If half what she told me about you is true, you’ve got all the approval I need.” “Thank you, sir,” she said, letting out a breath of relief. There was a moment of awkward silence between the two as they tried to find a good conversation topic. Sunset’s mouth filled the gap before her brain could stop her. “Did she tell you about Adagio?” Internally, she facepalmed. He hesitated for just a moment. He hid it well and caught himself immediately, but Sunset was used to it by now. That moment of tension when she discussed her other girlfriend. “She mentioned it,” he admitted with an uneasy grin. “I didn’t understand everything, and I would lie if I was to say this didn’t worry me, but as I said I trust my girl and she trusts you.” “But you’re still concerned aren’t you?” She wasn’t sure why she was pushing the subject. If anything it would probably increase the chance of Night Light hating her. But she couldn’t help it. Maybe it was the fact that her relationships were on the verge of collapsing and she needed to defend them, maybe she just wanted to be honest with him... Maybe she was just sabotaging herself. “Of course I am,” he simply said. “Twily’s my little girl. I don’t want her to be hurt and this is just... I never once imagined... She was so lonely... I was shocked when she announced me she was dating Timber so imagine my shock when she announced me she would date a girl and become polygamous!” “Polyamorous,” Sunset corrected softly, “though technically I am polyamorous, I’m not sure Twilight wants to date anyone else.” “How does that work?” “Right now? Poorly,” Sunset begrudgingly admitted. “I’ve not been a great girlfriend for Twilight nor Adagio... I hope I can salvage things. That’s why I’m here.” He thought for a moment, looking at her with concern. “Did you ever think of making a choice?” “I did,” she retorted without hesitation, facing his gaze without faltering. “I love them both.” For better or worse, that was one thing Sunset was not willing to budge on. She loved Twilight, and she loved Adagio. That was her choice, the only choice she knew she could stand by one hundred per cent. She held Night Light’s eyes, unwilling to back down. She was prepared for him to disagree. Hell, she was prepared for him to yell at her about how his daughter deserved better. She was prepared to defend her choice from whatever came next. She was not prepared for what came next. Night Light smiled. Not a small smile, but a real grin at Sunset’s words. He chuckled, and he shook his head, and Sunset did not know how to respond. “I can see why Twilight likes you so much,” he said approvingly. “I’m not sure why but the fact you would stand for them both in front of me makes me confident she made the right choice.” She blinked in surprise, not saying anything for a moment as her mind tried to catch up with the conversation. When she did speak, all she could manage was an awkward, "Thank you, sir." “So Sunset," Night Light segued, dropping the heavy topic for something more classic, "what are you doing with your life?” Finally, that was a conversation Sunset could manage. “Well, I’m working at Fast Break’s Emporium right now, but I hope to open my own garage soon. I’ve been saving for two years now. I have a location, and Fast Break promised he would help me set things up when I start.” “Really?” “I know it’s a bit underwhelming... Twilight’s destined for great things and her girlfriend is just a mechanic, but I just love to fix things. I took it as a hobby once I left Canterlot High and it quickly became my passion.” “I see,” he said with a smile. “I don’t think less of you for being a mechanic. Work is work. At least you’re providing a useful service to society. You could’ve been a trader or something. That would have been disappointing” he stated with an amused wink. “Besides, you’re no mere mechanic. Twilight told me you were working on your own engine? That’s quite an ambitious plan!” “Well, it’s just a wishful project...” “Is it a secret?” “Not really, it’s just very early into its conception, and Twilight and I still have a lot to work on. There are many ways we could go and we need to be careful not to invest too much time and energy into a dead-end.” “I see. I didn’t know Twilight was assisting. She always talks about it as your project...” “It’s hers as much as mine. I wouldn’t even have started without her impulsion, and while I’m good with the practical side of the project, I’m nowhere near as good as her when it comes to the theoretical side. I wouldn’t even know where to start without her...” “It sounds like you two work well together.” “Yeah," she whispered, "I'm pretty lucky to have found her. I hope that when I get more money, I’ll be able to support her and fund her research just as she supported me all these years.” “You don’t have to do that!” Twilight intervened out of the blue. Sunset's mind screeched to a halt. Twilight was there. She turned awkwardly. She was facing her for the first time in days. It had only been a few days. Twilight had not changed, but seeing her again after the amusement park debacle reminded Sunset how beautiful she was. And it didn't help her one bit. “You should use that money to build your business,” she insisted. “Ma–making sure you can do your research in peace is a long-term investment,” Sunset fumbled. Then the situation reminded itself to her and her brain froze again. “Oh! I almost forgot to put away the groceries.” Night Light announced unsubtly. “Twilight, would you mind staying with our guest while I do that?” Twilight rolled her eyes and smiled as her father promptly retreated inside the house. Once she was alone with her girlfriend, however, her attitude shifted. She didn't look Sunset in the eyes, frowning at the floor as an awkward silence built between the two. Sunset had rehearsed this moment quite a few times in her head and there were so many things she wanted to say, but right now she was stuck. Her thoughts fought for a place in the spotlight meshing into an incoherent mess of words begging to be said. Say something! she thought urgently. Anything! “Hi,” she let out stiffly after several agonizing seconds. “You look beautiful today...” Well done! Twilight blushed slightly and briefly looked up before answering. “Thanks... You too.” “How are you?” “I’m okay. I’ve been keeping busy, helping dad with his novel idea, working on some research, that kind of thing...” Sunset nodded. “I missed you.” “I missed you too,” Twilight answered. She took a small step forward and finally looked Sunset in the eyes. The next thing Sunset knew, Twilight closed the gap and threw her arms around her, and Sunset answered in kind. They both clung to each other as if they were afraid of letting go. “Can I kiss you?” Sunset asked after a time. Twilight nodded. Sunset passed her hand into Twilight’s hair, pushing aside messy strands of hair from her face. Twilight's hand rose slowly, caressing Sunset's cheeks and slowly drifting toward the back of her neck. Sunset shivered in anticipation and slowly closed in. The kiss was eager to the point of flirting with clumsiness. Twilight's lips caught Sunset's before she could react and for once, the purple girl led the dance. It was new... it was good and Sunset didn't want it to end. It did after way too short an eternity. “I missed you,” the purple girl repeated in a breath. “I missed you too.” They stayed there, in each other’s arms, not daring to speak for fear of ruining the moment, but Sunset knew this couldn’t last. They had to address the elephant in the room sooner rather than later. She took a deep breath, trying to gather some coherent thoughts and remember the long apology she had planned. “I’m sorry about what happened in the park...” Twilight said before she could even speak. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did.” It took a few seconds for Sunset to react. Out of the range of emotions she had imagined for her girlfriend, guilt was one of the least probable. “Twi, you did nothing wrong! I shouldn’t have invited Adagio on our date. It was inconsiderate of me and–” “But she’s your girlfriend! I shouldn’t–” “Twi, you’re my girlfriend too.” “But Adagio was first!” Sunset paused, flabbergasted. “Is that how you feel?” Twilight didn’t answer. She didn’t even dare to look at Sunset but enough had been said. How long had she kept these feelings hidden from her? Had she even been hiding them? Sunset had been so caught in her quest for a redemption she hadn’t even noticed... “Twilight... I love you. If anything, all the mistakes I made were because I refuse to choose between you and Dagi.” “I know! I shouldn’t think like this! It’s not rational!” Sunset instinctively moved in to hug her but was interrupted by a sudden, overwhelming wave of foreign emotions. Insecurities, doubts, inadequacies... jealousy. It hit her like a slap in the face... Like the first notes of a song by Arctic Donkeys. “Sunset? Are you okay?” The voice cut through the sea of sensations, leaving Sunset dizzy and confused. “Twi–Twilight?” “Sunset what’s wrong? You’re worrying me...” “I just felt, well... I–I didn’t mean to, I just...” “Wha– Oh...” Sunset bit her lips before speaking. “Twilight,” she started hesitantly, “why didn’t you tell me you were feeling like this?” Twilight watched her feet intensely, refusing to meet Sunset’s gaze. “It’s... I... When we’re together it usually passes, and so I feel like there’s no need to bring it out and the rest of the time... It–it’s hard to even think about it. I wouldn’t know how to talk about it and you already... know.” The ex-unicorn gently wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, keeping her powers in check to make sure not to invade her mind again. “Let’s sit,” she proposed gently, pointing toward a nearby bench. Twilight faintly nodded and followed Sunset. They sat there in silence for a while, while Sunset gently stroked Twilight’s hair. Twilight still wouldn’t meet Sunset’s eyes but at least she responded to her affection. “Sunset?” Twilight finally said. “Yes?” “I... Would you mind using your power? To see what I see?” Sunset sat upright, unsure of how to react. It was one thing to accidentally see superficial thoughts, but to actively look into one’s mind felt like a huge breach of privacy, even with their express request. “Are you certain?” “Honestly? No. But I can’t keep it inside any longer and I can’t find the courage to speak about it.” Sunset slowly nodded. She passed a reassuring hand in Twilight’s hair, cupped her face in her hands and whispered: “It’s going to be okay. I’m here. I love you.” She solemnly lowered her forehead until it gently bumped on her lover’s and let the cold and dark flow of feelings submerge her. ✶𝄞☀𝄞✶ Shapes formed in her mind, figures, tall yet distant, familiar yet hostile... Adagio and herself. Sunset felt strange looking at herself from Twilight’s eyes, especially in this manner. She looked different. More beautiful, almost intimidatingly so. The tenderness in her traits was gone, replaced by something else, something attractive yet hard and unfriendly. Adagio added to the feeling like a weapon in the arm of a killer. She too was threateningly beautiful and she was clinging to Sunset, possessively, lovingly... lustfully. Like she was reclaiming what she was due. They were both grinning at an unsaid joke. Twilight, she realised. Twilight was the joke. Sunset tried to move but couldn’t... she couldn’t talk either. She was stuck, on the ground, just as Twilight was in her mind. Forced to watch as Sunset and Adagio judged her. She focused back on them, trying to understand the situation. They were talking to Twilight. She concentrated to gather the words and immediately wished she had not. “– was fun for a while, but now...” Adagio laughed. The sound cut like blades and the words that came after were somewhat worse. “You thought Sunset would stay interested in someone like you? You wouldn’t even sleep with her.” Sunset jokingly squeezed Adagio, the smirk never fading from her face. “Dagi! Not while she’s right in front of us!” “Come on, she should have known,” the ex-siren said, clinging even closer to Sunset. “Yeah, you’re right, but you know... tact and all. Anyway, you understand, right Twi?” No answer came to her. She stayed frozen in horror as they turned their back on her and started to slide in the distance as they passionately kissed. Soon there were no traces of them. Only solitude, crushed hopes and the sobbings of Twilight. ✶𝄞☀𝄞✶ When Sunset opened her tear-filled eyes she was almost blinded by the light. It felt as if she had been trapped into the darkness for days without hope of ever going out. “Twilight... I’m so sorry...” Words failed her. She had no idea where to begin. How could she have missed that? How many times did she make things worse? You can’t solve the problem in our relationship because you are the problem. The memory caught up to her trying to drag her back to the familiar spiral of self-loathing. But it wasn’t about her... it was about Twilight. She needed her. She would think about how she had screwed everything up after she had comforted her nerdy girl. She took a deep breath and looked at the crying purple girl in front of her. She loved her, she had no doubts about it. Sunset just had to convince her of that. “Twilight, I love you. Sex has nothing to do with it. You told me you weren’t ready and that was fine by me.” “But what is it that stops from being fine? What if I’m never ready?” “If you’re never ready, we’ll never have sex and I would still be the luckiest girl in two worlds.” Twilight laughed sadly. “You’re just saying that.” Sunset gently caught her face between her hands and forced her to look at her in the eyes. “I swear to Celestia that I would still love you even if you never wanted to have sex with me ever. You’re not a distraction to me and Adagio fooling around.” Despite her reassurance, her words couldn’t reach Twilight. She stubbornly refused to meet her gaze, tears now freely falling from her eyes. “Twilight is there something you’re not telling me?” “Sunset I–” she sobbed loudly “I just... I just don’t want to do it... I’m supposed to love you! This is just like Timber. What does that say about me? About us? We’re a couple! I should be able to–” “Twilight,” Sunset gently interrupted, tenderly turning her girlfriend’s head to make her face her at last, “it’s okay. You don’t have to sleep with me. Not now, not ever. That means we’ll have more time to stargaze!” This elicited a short, sob-drowned laugh. “I’m not kidding. There are many things we do that are just as meaningful as sleeping together. Some of them are more meaningful than that.” “Like what?” Sunset thought about it for a second. As she started speaking, she lovingly started to wipe Twilight’s tears. “Like how we teach each other on the secrets of our worlds and the hours we spend studying our magic and its impact on your world.” She gently pressed her forehead on Twilight’s and kept going. “Or the way we can spend hours in each other’s arms, without talking and feel at complete ease with each other like we’re two pieces of a jigsaw. Like stargazing on a summer night and making corny jokes about how beautiful you are. Like how we decided to build a future together...” The more she talked about it, the truer and more obvious it became in her mind. She would love Twilight just as much without any prospect of sex. In fact, she had never even considered it in the equation. “I love you, Twilight Sparkle. I love you, soul, body and mind and will for as long as you’ll allow me.” New tears flowed, of joy this time. “I love you too!” They cuddled until dusk, barely saying a word. There was no need for them anymore. They simply enjoyed their renewed bond as the sun set. ✶𝄞☀𝄞✶ “Are you sure you don’t want to spend the night with us?” Night Light asked as he accompanied Sunset toward her vehicle. “You’re not bothering us at all.” “I appreciate it, but I really can’t. Applejack needs her truck early in the morning, and I can’t betray her trust.” “Be careful on the road okay?” Twilight said timidly. “I always am!” Sunset boasted. Twilight looked at her wholly unconvinced. “I am!” she declared with an exaggerated look of indignation on her face. “But I swear I will be extra careful.” “Fluttershy careful?” Twilight insisted. “I need to be there before tomorrow, you know?” She was about to point out how safe the road is and how low the risks of an accident statistically were, but she was stopped by Twilight’s puppy dog’s eyes. She knew when she was beaten. “Fine. I’ll be Fluttershy careful.” Twilight rewarded her girlfriend with a grateful hug, which Sunset eagerly reciprocated. “But if I am late, you’ll be the one explaining it to Applejack!” Night Light laughed at the display and bid his goodbye, leaving the two lovebirds alone once again. “Thanks for coming,” Twilight whispered. “Thanks for everything.” “Anytime. Sorry I didn’t notice earlier.” Twilight reluctantly broke the hug. “I should let you go before I get too tempted to have you stay.” Sunset slowly nodded. “See you soon?” “See you soon,” Twilight said with a smile, before turning back and hurriedly going back to her dad’s house. Sunset watched until her girlfriend disappeared inside. So many things had happened in just a few hours, she still had not processed them all. As she settled into the driver’s seat, she felt an odd mix of happiness, relief and guilt wash over her. She wasn’t sure what to make of it, but at least she knew had helped Twilight. She had found something wrong in their relationship and she had corrected it. Now she just needed to do it again. She unlocked her phones and selected the first number on her contact list. She pressed on it decisively. It rang twice before Adagio picked up but she didn’t say anything. “Hello? Are you there?” A single word came out of the phone, cold like a blade wielded in anger. “Sunset.” "Hey, Dagi." Sunset took a deep breath and braced herself before asking "Is it okay if I see you tomorrow?"