//------------------------------// // Short - Who are you? // Story: Welcome to Distopia // by LucidDreamer //------------------------------// "So... Do you know why I already have a tame shadow?" Lorraine asked Alastor as the two of them sat up at the table in the common room. "Hm?" the buck blinked as he looked over at her and set the book he was reading aside. "You don't know?" "All I know is that Shadowmancy requires understanding and self-reflection." Lorraine replied. "Well, Shadows themselves are rather varied, from primordial forces of darkness and nature to mortal-borne Shadows like yours," he explained. "I daresay your shadow was tamed back when you were still human." "That doesn't make any sense." Lorraine pointed out. "Dearest, look at what it took to finally admit you'd rather be anything but a Luck Dragon," Alastor said. "Verbal abuse that would break lesser individuals, physical assault from a national hero hurt you yes, but... It seemed to me that you were used to such extreme behavior. It took Luna's absolute dismissal of your own feelings to do something about it." He grinned knowingly. "Why, the way you've handled yourself all this time seems familiar to you." "Look, I may be an indecisive piece of shit due to stress but I'll always push past it," Lorraine explained. "A decade ago I had so little self worth I'd work myself into a self-loathing depressing train of thought and cry in the middle of the night every three months. Now? I'm stressed because herding and "You should have children" are being shoved down my throat by folks that give zero shits about how I or John feel about it. I'm stressed because until two days ago I couldn't see a way out unless I either caved in to their demands or focused solely on the movement and throw away any shred of sanity or peace for the time being." She paused and sighed. "I was going to do that too, push myself to get the job done, to get people to listen." "And will you?" Alastor asked curiously. "I'll do what I can with the movement, Luna's thrown in the towel so I'll just have to-" "Darling, Luna aside, did anyone else ask you to be a part of this social reform?" Alastor asked. "No," Lorraine admitted. "But Celestia asked John and I to be an example by being ourselves..." she facepalmed. "I believe you've been taken advantage of," the buck commented with a cheery grin. "Let me put it this way, your Light is your belief that as you put it, people are people, and your conviction is your conviction to do right by your friends and betters." "Alright. So, would my Shadow be the opposite?" Lorraine asked. "No, it still stems from the same place as your Light, merely overshadowed by it until your belief wavered and conviction faltered, which allowed the strength of your character to properly fuel it." Alastor replied. "You, from day one, have understood that you are no Luck Dragon so you tried to make your form your own to no avail and the doubt caused by the stress of your situation has led to you reflecting back on what others see you as only to realize they do not see you for who you are but what you are." "Since the two don't align, I'm going to The Nightmare to change the what to match the who." Lorraine concluded. "Precisely!" Alastor joyfully stated. "So tell me darling, Who are you?" "I'm Lorraine, I'm me. Just some half blind chick that enjoys video games, cartoons and anime. I'm always willing to help my friends because I'm happy when they're happy and I'd rather people either get along or leave me the fuck alone," Lorraine said plainly. She smiled happily as she continued. "I love John, I never thought romance would be in the cards for me but here we are... I want to be happy with him and with my friends, people who see me for me, swearing, fangirliness, bluntness- all of it. I like sharing my hobbies or offering advice or just being there for the people I care about." A dark blue aura surrounded her as she spoke. "I'm not a paragon of Light or a God and I don't want to be treated like one. I want to be given the same respect, kindness and trust I try to give others. I want to be treated like a person." "If people are going to keep pushing me and my friends around? I'll leave them alone, cut ties with them," Lorraine stated with a nod as the blue aura began to flicker like flames. "They wanna keep hounding me after that? Fine, I'll be a snitch. They want to retaliate?" her gaze was steely. "I'll give them one last chance to back off." "Then what will you do?" Alastor asked. "Get the fuck out of dodge and ask for help, duh," Lorraine replied with a grin. "I'm no fighter. I'm a coward and proud of it. If I can't talk my way out, I'll find a way out." Alastor hummed in thought. "... Yet you haven't abandoned myself or John yet." "That's different, I'm not just gonna up and leave my friends, being cornered alone is a different story." Lorraine stated. There was a flash of blue light. When the pair regained their sight, ther was a blue envelope sitting on the table. It was addressed to Lorraine. "What just happened?" the noodle dragon asked and examined the letter. "I have a hunch," Alastor mused and gestured at the letter. "What does it say?" "Hold on," Lorraine replied and opened it. She slowly read it aloud. "Dear Lorraine, Your Reflection was not one of malice nor envy or despair. It was born of a desire for affection and validation. In finding love you have found affection, in friendship, validation. You only needed to see that you are worthy of them, that there is no shame in seeking happiness for yourself. Defend it, for such a benevolent Shadow is resilient but is easily burned by the Light of others." "Well that answers that question, you've been taking care of your significant other and your little band of misfits ever since you got here!" Alastor stated. "But I've always looked out for my friends and I've known John for a few years even before we became a couple," Lorraine pointed out. "So, my Shadow is my desire to just... Be happy alongside everyone?" "You did, quite literally, burn when your emotions weren't given consideration." the buck reminded her. "I'm still scared that'll happen again," Lorraine admitted. "I'm reactionary, it's just who I am, I know I shouldn't get angry or upset at something but I can't help it. I'm only human." She paused and gave the buck the most deadpan look she could manage. "You know what I mean." "Oh I know! I said it myself darling, you are mortal! You have no idea how proud I am that you are finally taking your health into consideration." Alastor brightly stated. "I'm sorry if I worried you and sorry about the two boyfriends comment at the sleepover, you deserved better than that." Lorraine admitted. The buck tilted his head to one side. "Have you been worried about that this entire time?" "Yeah... You're my friend and I was worried I upset you... Or something." she replied in a small voice. "I overreacted to that situation myself, why don't we say we're both sorry about that little fiasco and leave it at that?" the buck suggested. He smiled at her. "Are you busy tomorrow?" "No, why?" Lorraine asked. "Well, I am quite interested in the Botanical Gardens and I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me?" He noticed her skepticism and raised a hoof to placate her. "Not a date, just an outing between friends. As fun as it is yanking your chain, so to speak, we need you happy and healthy for Nightmare Night so I shall endeavor to be on my best behavior!" Lorraine blinked. "Um, ok sure. I wouldn't mind seeing the gardens myself."