I remember killing somepony that night.
I didn’t kill Biscuit. I know that ‘cause he was alive the next morning.
Biscuit and I had made love. I remember that. We made love at a little roadside coach stop along the path heading to Canterlot.
We'd been flying the whole night. Well, I flew, and Biscuit walked behind. I tried carryin' him as I flew, like I promised I would, but I almost passed out from exhaustion.
I didn’t sleep the whole night. I slapped myself to keep myself awake. We went down this long, muddy dirt track through the bayou that was supposed to go to Canterlot. At least I think it goes to Canterlot. Canterlot was too far away for me to see.
Biscuit was an idiot. He went to his house and instead of packing food or Bits, he just packed a compass, a watch, and a canteen of water. He said that he’d learned about what plants to eat from some wilderness survival camp he went to last summer.
Of course, he forgot that it was the dead of winter, and most of the green leaves for eating had turned brown. I was starving. The queasy feeling was gone, and now I was just hungry. Real hungry.
Biscuit dug up a few roots from the side of the road for me. He told me they were safe, but how the hay can you tell in the dark!? They were real bitter, and they had a bunch of tough fibers in them. I’d rather eat my sister’s favorite raw onion grass and cattail salad, any day. Ten to one, the food Biscuit gave me was poisonous, ‘cause I spit out half of it, and they made me even hungrier.
I remember I picked up the pace. I flew twice as fast as I had before. Biscuit was galloping behind. I thought he wouldn’t be able to catch up with me, but he was pretty damn fast, actually. I must’ve gotten winded, because I was feelin’ all woozy and I was moaning—or maybe Biscuit was moaning. Our moans sound pretty similar.
It was nice goin’ so fast, actually. I kept thinking about how I’d get to Canterlot sooner and how I’d be able teach Princess Twilight a lesson sooner, and that made me fly even faster. The sky was purple with some black sticks that I guess were trees. If I flew fast enough, the purple shapes blurred together and it kinda looked like Princess Twilight. And she’d look at me. And glare at me.
And I’d fly even faster.
I felt a blow to my head—Biscuit told me the next morning that I'd flown smack right into a tree branch—but it didn’t even hurt. No headache, no pain. At least initially.
But after that, everything got fuzzy. Princess Twilight appeared for a bit in the blurriness. My sister, too. I puked—but I’d already been puking for a while before I hit my head. My ears were ringin' at a really annoyingly high pitch.
Golly,
You’re such a nutjob, sis.
Admit it.
You’re going to actually go and kill the Princess, aren’t you?
But not before Princess Twilight destroys you.
Oh wait. Ha! She's already destroyed you!
I hovered above the same spot for a bit—more than a bit, cause during that period of time, it started to rain, stopped raining, and then started raining again. It was dark, but there was rain falling so I know that I was flying upright. I heard galloping—it was getting closer and closer.
I heard a colt’s voice—now I know it was Biscuit, but at the time I didn’t remember. “Oh Celestia! Are you all right, Spur!? Calm down, Spur, calm down. M-maybe we should sleep in the woods, Spur. Or at least slow down. Save some energy—you can’t face the Princess like this.”
I snapped when the ringing in my ears got worse. “We’re not dawdling! We’re flyin’ away now and if ya love me, erm…erm…Bi…Bi…Bis…Bi-Bitch…you’ll come with me!” I remember I said.
My head did not hurt at all. Just sayin’. It was just real dark and I had puked a lot, and that’s why I was delirious.
Some stuff that I don’t remember happened after that. Then, I remember leaning onto the colt—Biscuit—for support as we walked into the little roadside coach shop on the way to Canterlot. It was pouring rain—I was also crying, I think? My wings were too soaked to fly, and I felt the curls in my mane starting to come back. Damn. I remember the stylist pony tellin’ me not to go out too soon, or else that straightening chemical would wash off.
Guess I went out too soon.
But the Princess.
I was going to see the Princess.
I had to go and fly and see the Princess.
I remembered that much, even after I hit my head.
There were so many flashes of lightning. And then the thunder would rumble, and the ringing in my ears would get worse.
The door to the shop was padlocked. I’m not sure how we got in. I remember hitting my head again—against something flat and hard—and it didn’t hurt either.
The ringing in my ears got a little better. Or at least it wasn’t as high-pitched. But my vision got even worse. I walked a few steps into the shop and I fell ‘cause I thought the black square on the checkerboard floor was a hole.
“Spur…? You all right?” I heard the colt’s voice. (Biscuit’s voice.)
“D-did I h-h-hit my h-h-head?”
“Yeah, you did. Twice.”
I turned outside. I pulled on the colt’s leg and I said, “C’mon, c’mon, we gotta go now, we gotta fly…”
“No, Spur, I can’t fly, I a'int a pegasus.”
I squinted. There was a red blob in front of me. He didn’t have wings. “Oh. Okay.”
“Spur, come inside, quick. You gotta rest, sweetheart. You’re severely dehydrated and I think you also got a concussion.” He tried to pull me in a little further inside. But he tripped on a soup can, and he fell on top of me.
“Bi…Biscuit!?” I finally remembered.
“…Spur.”
And that’s when we made love on the floor of the shop. No whips. No riding crops. No “master,” no “slave.”
Just…love.
I didn’t scold him when he finished before I did. I remember feelin’ my left flank on the cold floor, and watching a little millipede crawl across my snout. The floor of the shop wasn’t much less gross than the muddy road outside. But it didn’t matter. It felt so nice that I forgot about…what’s her name?
“I love you, Spur,” Biscuit said my name. “Spur.” My head still wasn’t hurtin’.
“Spur…” he said again. My eyes got dizzy, and that’s when his words became all stretched out.
“Sssssppppurrrr…”
“Sssssppppurrrr…”
His voice echoed so much, it was like that moment was gonna last forever. And I smiled.
Then the door rattled. And another pony came in. I guess he was the shop owner.
I heard a stallion’s voice. “Hello! Who’s in here!?”
The sky was dark blue—I guess it was almost morning—and he found us lying in the back. He didn’t turn on the light. He just guessed from the outline of my mane and shouted,
“Cozyglow! AAARGH! It’s Cozyglow!” The voice spoke so fast, I didn’t even blink.
And finally, that’s when my head started hurting.
And, oh, did it hurt. Like my skull being stabbed by a giant alicorn horn, and being pelted with pieces of sharp gravel. At the same time.
The ringing in my ears. Oh, the ringing.
Golly.
Golly.
Golly!
GOLLY!!!
GOOOLLLLLY!!!
I saw the stallion pull out something shiny. A little thin blade of moonlight reflected on the surface, and even that was enough for my eyes to hurt.
It was enough for me to yell, “HE’S GOT A MACHETE!”
And that’s when it all got blurry again. A lot of…black. And dark blue sky. At first, I thought Princess Luna was there, and this was all a dream.
If it was, I didn’t wake up.
Red…there was also a lot of red. Red fur, and red—and…voices. Talking. My ears were ringing real loudly the whole time, so whatever sounded like whispering was actually talking. And whatever sounded like talking was probably yelling.
Somepony was talking—or yelling, I guess. Yelling at me, or yelling at somepony else? I’m not sure. I didn’t hear ‘em call my name. “Ssss…” something. “Ssss…STOP IT!”
“Ssss…STOP! NO!”
“Ssss…WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU!”
“Ssss…NO!!!”
“NO!!!”
The next thing I remember was me standing in the pouring rain, grabbing the right front leg of a full-grown stallion and dragging him across the mud down to the flooded riverbank. There must’ve been some other pony dragging on the other side, ‘cause the body was moving in a straight line. I stepped into so many puddles. It was only when the lightning flashed that I realized that some of the puddles were red.
“Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!” I kept yelling.
There were so many slash marks on the stallion I thought he had red fur. His left eye was dug out by some sort of spoon. There was dried puke in his mouth.
It didn’t make me sick, or even make me sad. Not one bit. All I was worried about was the horrible pain in my head.
I heard something fall out of the stallion’s saddlebag as we dragged him. I picked it up. It reflected a little blade of moonlight, just like the one I saw in the dark.
It was just a gold watch and chain.
I bucked it into the river so that nopony would see. Then I kept dragging. I stopped when I felt a strong current about to push my hind leg down the river.
“Throw 'im in! Quickly!” I yelled.
The lightning flashed, and I, and the other pony that was dragging with me, let go.
I remember cussing because the stallion floated down the river instead of sinking.
But after that, it was over.
And I don’t remember anymore.
I really don’t. Which is different from my sister. The thing about my sister is that she always remembered every single detail of how she hurt somepony. I know, because she’d send me those secret letters. She sent me one letter about how she went and imprisoned Ms. Glimmer.
…following the threat which was enforced by casual asphyxiation, The Target (Starlight Glimmer) was kindly escorted into the grandiose room in the lower level of the school, located precisely 70 feet west from the staircase adjacent to the Guidance Counselor Office (see attached scale floor plans for clarification). The Target did not seem to take a liking to me dragging her down the staircase, but a kick to the upper right quadrant of her flank with a spiked horseshoe proved effective in causing distress. The Target admonished me for my impertinence and violent actions, to which I shouted words regarding her evil past, comparing her evil spirit to my own, and it caused her to cry profusely.
Golly, aren’t words the most peculiar thing, sis? They don’t hurt at all. Exhaled air doesn’t really feel like anything. Yet it can induce trauma more severe than the sharpest machete.
Golly, isn’t that peculiar, sis?
Following The Target’s possession by the orb of light…
One letter had fifteen pages of paper, double-sided, in her best hoof-writing.
Ma and Pa got different letters. One-page letters. She’d send ‘em on the special stamped parchment that I guess they give the prisoners down in Tartarus.
I dont remember anything, Mommy. I realy don’t.
I tink I got a boo-boo on my head and that turnd me bad
All I remembr was a flash of light, a lot lot lot of pain and then the next thing I remembr, Ms. Glimer was stuck in that orb.
I’m so so sorry, Mommy
I wish I could learn from my mistakes, I really do, but unforchunately I cant because I don’t remember what I did.
Isn’t that sad and inconvenient?
After they got that letter, Ma and Pa sent my sister a care package with her favorite treats in it. They tore up the letters that Princess Twilight had sent them earlier on.
I saved all of my sister’s letters. Sometimes I copy from them. My sister used a lot of big words, which is good for those essay papers we have to do at school.
After disposin' of the stallion’s body, I remember walking, not flying, back into the roadside store with another pony—I guess it had to be Biscuit. We stole a few tubs of ice cream from the freezer. I don’t really eat ice cream, especially in the winter. But I really wanted to eat the ice cream. I ate so many tubs, I lost count. Biscuit gave me a jar of pickles and I ate all that too.
I don’t remember what flavor ice cream it was. It tasted like food. And considering how hungry I was from not eating nothing that night but poisonous roots…that was good enough for me.
I think it was mint chocolate flavor. That’s what I heard Biscuit whispering to me. I was mumbling some things—I couldn’t hear what I was saying because my ears were ringing and I was dizzy. But whatever I said to him, he answered me by whispering, “Mint chocolate. Mint chocolate.”
His whisper sounded like Ma tucking me in at night. Ma would put me to bed after she put my sister to bed. It would always be late, since it took forever to put my sister to bed. I’d always ask Ma if she could tell me another bedtime story, and she’d pat my head and tell me,
“No, mint chocolate. Mommy’s tired. Go to bed, mint chocolate. Go to sleep, mint chocolate.”
I don’t really like the name “mint chocolate,” actually.
The ringing in my ears made up some more voices for me.
You get it?
You’re mint chocolate,
And I’m swiss roll!
Golly, mint chocolate ice cream goes so well with swiss roll, doesn’t it, sis?
It doesn’t go together, actually. It tastes horrible.
Eating the ice cream and pickles made me feel better. And that’s when Biscuit and I made love, again. Biscuit didn’t want to this time round, though. But I was his master, so he had to. He did not seem to take a liking to my demands, but a kick to the upper right quadrant of his flank proved effective at causing obedience. He admonished me for my cold-heartedness, to which I shouted words regarding the ills of his masochism, comparing his sexual proclivities to my own, and it caused him to cry profusely.
And it didn’t feel…peculiar…at all. It didn't feel anything, actually. All I felt was the horrible pain in my head.
He pushed himself away from me, and he said, “NO! NO! STOP IT!”
Was he talking to me? I’m pretty sure he was.
The sun rose. Light came into the windows, and then I could finally see.
There was some of the dead stallion’s blood on my hooves and it had clotted and it wouldn’t come out of my fur. Also Biscuit’s fur, but you couldn’t see the blood cause his fur happens to be the same color.
“It was shiny…I really thought it was a machete,” I remember I said. “I thought he was gon’ kill us.”
No sound except for my ears ringing. At an even more annoyingly high pitch.
“Tell me I’m not my sister, please, I’m beggin’ you.” I knelt before Biscuit like the way you kneel in front of royalty. Biscuit’s body kind of looked like Princess Twilight if my mind was blurred enough.
“Please, Biscuit. Please…! Tell me they’re wrong, and you’re right. Tell me that I haven’t become Cozy Glow.”
Biscuit kept shaking his head while he looked away from my bloody hooves. “N-n-no. I give up! It’s true! They’re all correct! You’re Cozy Glow! You’ve become just as evil and sadistic as her!”
Biscuit stopped holding my hoof, and that’s when I fainted.