Tock
It always surprised me how normal Aunt Rosin’s house looked. Easily the smallest on the block, it sat squished between two veritable mansions. You’d never guess that a household name in Canterlot and beyond lived there.
I slowly passed the fence and tiphoofed to the front door. Surely even a night owl like Aunt Rosin would be asleep by now. It would be rude to wake her up, especially if she’d just fallen asleep. Doubly so if she had important work things to do tomorrow.
I shook my head forcefully, trying to stop the circle of thought I’d walked the entire way here stuck in. I obviously needed to talk to somepony, or I was never going to get to sleep and would spend the next day tired and confused. If I could solve at least one of those problems, I was sure the other would be simple.
However, that relied on the problem itself being simple, which I wasn’t sure it was. There was also no guarantee Aunt Rosin would even want to talk tonight. What a waste it would be if she just sent me home, I could always cut out a couple of steps and leave of my own accord tonight, and come back at a more reasonable time--
“How long are you going to just stand there?” Aunt Rosin suddenly spoke from the door. I jumped, shocked, as soft light bled from the open door onto my face. “What are you doing here so late? Is everything okay?”
“I need to… I mean, I would like it if…” I stuttered and stumbled over my words, attempting to right my crashed train of thought. “Can I come in? I want to talk with you.”
Aunt Rosin studied my face for several long seconds, then nodded solemnly. “Of course, kiddo.”
She stepped aside to let me into the cozy mud room. “I’ll get us some water. Head on back to my music room, I’ll meet you there,” she said.
I nodded and carefully stepped around her. I’d been inside my aunt’s house even fewer times than I’d seen it, but it was hard to not remember where the music room was. Forward into the main living area, then a hard left, through a door, and down a set of stairs.
The entire bottom floor of the house was devoted to our craft. Dozens of instruments hung on stands from the walls. Several bookshelves against one wall somehow supported hundreds of books of sheet music. Various carrying cases were scattered across another wall, all clean and closed. One corner was filled with a very comprehensive service and cleaning desk, where I’d actually learned how to polish my own cello.
My destination was in the middle of the room, a mismatched set of chairs and a couch set next to a piano. I picked one at random and sat down, nervously tapping my hoof against the hardwood floor. Aunt Rosin came down a few minutes later with a tray of cookies and glasses of water. She scooted over the piano’s bench and sat across from me.
“Now then, what’s on your mind, kiddo?” she asked.
During my long walk, I’d mentally run through several iterations of this talk. I was going to calmly explain what had happened backstage, tell her how it was keeping me on edge. Then she’d give me some advice, we’d talk for a bit, and I would go home feeling much better.
“Vinyl kissed me,” I blurted out, again.
Aunt Rosin nodded and took a big bite from a cookie. “Didja like it?”
“I’m just a little confused by it, is all. I didn’t realize Vinyl thought about me like that. I’m sure I don’t feel the same for her, but at the same time—”
My aunt’s slowly rising eyebrow slowed my words to a halt. “Did you like it?” she asked again, slower.
“I-I don’t…”
“It’s a simple question, filly. Did you or did you not like it when Vinyl kissed you?”
“I’m not sure, that’s the problem!” I countered, growing ever so slightly frustrated.
Aunt Rosin didn’t answer. She locked eyes with me and slowly bit into her cookie again.
I squirmed under her gaze. The same part of me happily spouting off that Vinyl had kissed me spoke up. “M-Maybe, just a little…”
“Do you want her to do it again?” Expecting the stalling tactic I’d learned from Mother, Rosin quickly removed the cookies before I could reach for one.
Left with nothing to occupy my hooves, I squirmed some more. “Maybe…” I answered, almost too quiet to hear myself.
Rosin nodded and replaced the plate on the table. I hurriedly snatched a sugary snack before she could deny me one again. “Then there’s no problem.”
Something in me snapped at having my concern brushed aside so easily. “What do you mean, ‘there’s no problem?’”
“Just what I said. You aren’t mad that she kissed you—”
“Yes, but—” I tried to interject, but Aunt Rosin just raised her voice.
“And you want her to do it again—”
“I-I didn’t say that, I’m not sure, that’s the—”
“Octavia, listen to me.” Aunt Rosin never raised her voice, but her serious tone stopped me all the same. “The funny thing about life is that nopony has all the answers. You can’t go into every situation with all the answers and outcomes ready and analyzed. So what if you didn’t think Vinyl wanted to play tonsil hockey—”
“Aunt Rosin!”
“—who cares? If it didn’t upset you, and you kind of want her to do it again, there’s no problem.” She stopped for just a moment, and I swear I saw her look at the row of pictures on the dusty key cover of her piano. “I’ve seen relationships start for worse reasons than that.”
As unobtrusively as I could, I tried to peek around her. From my seat on the couch I could only see a couple of the pictures: one of Mother, Father, and Aunt Rosin posing in the Canterlot Conservatory courtyard at Mother’s graduation, and one of Aunt Rosin and a stallion I didn’t recognize hanging upside down from a tree in a park I knew very well.
“But what if… what if…” I stuttered, grasping at straws. I could already almost hear Aunt Rosin’s next bit of advice; it was likely something I was already thinking about myself. “What if it doesn’t work?”
Rosin chomped another cookie with a shrug. “Then it doesn’t, but you still tried. What happens after that is up to you two.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. As was normal, Aunt Rosin had managed to punch through all the extra little things I tended to focus on when faced with a problem. “I think I understand,” I lied.
“No, you don’t,” Rosin replied with a knowing smile. “Because that’s the secret, kiddo: nopony does.”
Rosin stood then and stretched, taking a couple of extra seconds to brush the cookie crumbs from her coat and the piano bench. “I’ll go make up the spare room. It’s late, you can stay here tonight.”
“Okay,” I agreed. As she left the room, I grabbed another cookie. I honestly wasn’t too sure if visiting Rosin had actually helped. She hadn’t seemed to listen to half of what I had to say, and yet somehow I still felt a little more at ease.
Of course, I might have just worn my brain out with the frantic mental gymnastics for the last few hours, however unlikely that may have been.
As I slowly munched a second cookie, I started going over the facts. One: Vinyl obviously had some feelings for me that went a little beyond just friendship. Two: this was probably super obvious to at least some ponies around us, given Symphonia’s reaction. Three: I really needed to stop lying to myself under stress. If I was really as okay with it as I’d told Vinyl, I wouldn’t have bothered Aunt Rosin this early in the morning.
Four was where I started struggling again. Aunt Rosin had made it very clear that I should at least talk to Vinyl about doing… something more, but I was still unsure. Dating somepony implied something a little more intimate than I thought Vinyl and I were.
On the other hoof, we already spent a good portion of our free time together. We supported, helped, and pushed each other to be better. Was that too far from what ponies did while dating?
But on that logic, why didn’t I date Symphonia? The same was true for us as well as Vinyl and I. But it didn’t quite feel right. I somehow struggled even more to see Symphonia and I as more than just friends. Just living with her was a struggle, sometimes.
“You still look confused, Octavia,” Rosin said from directly in front of me.
I jumped in surprise and opened my eyes just in time to see her sit back down. “I guess I am, a little,” I admitted.
“Why?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure anymore,” I replied with a shake of my head. “I guess I just don’t really know if I feel the same way towards her.”
Rosin nodded. “That makes sense. Okay, let me try this way.”
She resituated again and confiscated the cookies. “Say that the next time you see her, you tell her in no uncertain terms that you do not and will not feel anything more than friendship for her. It takes her some time to process, but she eventually gets over it. Now, maybe a few months down the line, Vinyl introduces a new friend to you, and says they’re dating. Take a second, how does that make you feel?”
It took hardly any time for a faint sadness to wash over me, followed shortly by an irritation I immediately remembered feeling last in Hazelblossom’s apartment. It didn’t feel like how jealousy had been described to me in the past, more of a general unpleasantness.
My thoughts must have been visible in my expression, because Rosin spoke again without waiting for my verbal answer. “Yeah, that’s about what I thought. Unlike in the movies and stories, real life relationships don’t have to stew for years and come to light at some plot-critical moment. They can, but it could just be that two ponies like spending time together and want to get closer. You don’t have to be head over hooves in love.
“It’s up to you, but I’d give it a try. Just be upfront with her, let her decide if she’s willing to take the time to see if something more develops.” She stood and stretched. “Or don’t, it’s up to you. I’m going to bed now, but I’ll see you in the morning. We can get breakfast.”
“Thank you, Aunt Rosin,” I said, standing as well. “Breakfast sounds wonderful, I’ll see you in the morning.”
We both went to our rooms, but I ended up staying up much later, slowly piecing together my own thoughts.
<><><><><>
I bade farewell to Aunt Rosin the next morning as we left the cafe where we’d eaten. She left to hail a carriage back home, while I started the walk to campus. I refused to let myself think on the short trip, fully resolved to the course I’d decided on last night.
Vinyl’s building had never been further than my own, the elevator to her floor never as slow. My ears started ringing ever so faintly as I stepped into her hallway and turned to face the door. I walked slowly, trying to ignore the thought that they’d replaced the carpet with a conveyor belt, trying to draw me farther away.
I hadn’t been so nervous since I’d waited to meet Vinyl at the cafe off campus, months ago.
At the door I stopped to collect my thoughts, but only briefly. Before I could have second thoughts, I raised my hoof and knocked. After the customary shuffling, a very tired Vinyl opened the door. Uncovered by glasses, her eyes widened as she saw me. “Tavi? What are you doing here?”
“I’d like to talk to you,” I said. “May I come in?”
She glanced behind the door for a moment. “Uh, it’s a little messy…”
“It normally is,” I agreed. “I’ll just be a moment, I don’t mind.”
With the shrug of one resigned to their fate, Vinyl stepped back and swung the door wide. The room wasn’t the messiest I’d ever seen it, but it wasn’t spotless either. With an effort of will I ignored it and stepped inside.
“I, um, I’ve been thinking,” I started, once again fumbling for my words.
Vinyl’s ears drooped. “I told you not to worry about it. I was just being dumb, Tavi. That kiss didn’t mean anything.”
I realized pretty quickly what she thought. I stepped forward slightly, consciously bridging the distance between us I’d put there backstage at Night-Glo. “No, it’s not that. I mean, it is that, but that’s not what I meant to say.”
After a deep breath, I tried again. “I can’t promise anything will come of it and I can’t say that I feel the exact same for you as you do for me, but if that kiss really did mean something, I’m willing to try.”
“R-Really?” she stuttered. “I don’t know what to say…”
Watching her stumble around, I started wondering if that’s what I looked like since yesterday. It was oddly adorable. I placed my forehooves on either side of her head to keep her from moving, then kissed her.