The pain of loss

by Ilovechips4ever


Rarity's memories part I

The silence is so thick you could certainly cut it with a knife. The girls are speechless after Applejack outburst. It is rare for her to get so angry like that, and for most of them it’s the first time they see her crying. Two set of tears are falling from her eyes and her breathing is jerky as she glares at Pinkie Pie.

However, this isn’t the worst. No, the worst is what she just said. Her parents died, on this very same day, ten years ago, and she saw it happen. That the Apple siblings don’t have parents anymore isn’t necessarily a secret, but no one at school know what happened, not even Applejack’s best friends. She never talks about them and always avoided the subject whenever people talked about their parents.

Pinkie Pie eyes suddenly widen in horror when she realises what she did. Fluttershy now has tears in her eyes too after hearing the awful truth and seeing her friend cry. She is the first to react.

“Oh Applejack, I’m so s…”. She goes to hug her friend, but Applejack moves away from her.

The farm girl turns around and runs away.

“Applejack,” Sunset calls her, but she doesn’t stop and runs out of the building by the front door.

Rainbow Dash, using her magical speed, begins to run after Applejack when a transparent diamond materialises just in front her and she collides face first against it.

“OUCH”, she yells covering her nose with her hands before looking angrily at Rarity who has her hand raised. “Rarity! What the heck?”

Rarity winces under Rainbow Dash cold tone as she makes the transparent diamond disappear. “My apologises, I thought you’ll stop yourself before hitting it.”

“Rarity, this is the second time you stop us from going after Applejack,” Sunset says. “Why? She obviously needs support now more than ever.”

“I didn’t know.” Pinkie Pie’s voice is so low the girls almost didn’t hear it. They look at her in time to see her hairs deflate like a punctured balloon. “I swear I didn’t know. I wanted her to be happy again, but I made it worse by joking about dead people. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Twilight reassure her as she brings the pink girl into a hug. “I’m sure Applejack knows it was just a mistake. None of us knew, well except Rarity it seems.”

“Yeah about that,” Spike says as his head pop out from Twilight backpack from where he heard the conversation. “How come she told Rarity about her parents’ death, but not any of you?”

“Well, she didn’t exactly tell me. It is quite a long story,” Rarity responds hesitantly. “I think it’s better to let Applejack calm down before trying to talk to her again.”

“You’re probably right. Still, I’m deeply worried about her,” Sunset says and the others agree with her. Sunset then takes Rarity’s hand. “Rarity, could you tell us what happened, please?” Sunset could use her magic to read Rarity’s mind and find the answer, but she don’t and Rarity is grateful for that.

Rarity looks at each of her friends then in the direction Applejack left. She must admit she too is worried. She begins to wonder if leaving Applejack alone all these years to deal with this like she wanted really is the best solution.

“I guess there is no point in not telling you anymore.” Rarity looks back at her friends. “Let’s go somewhere more private.”

(An hour later)

The girls are now sitting around a table at Sugarcube Corner with Spike sitting on Twilight’s lap. Around them are customers and several employees going about their business, not paying the six girls (and one dog) any attention. The ambient sound also prevents other people from hearing what the girls are saying thus making it a perfect place to talk discreetly as long as you don’t raise your voice.

Pinkie Pie hairs are now back to normal thanks to the chocolate, vanilla and caramel ice cream her co-workers gave her when they saw her deflated hairs. Fluttershy is huddled against Rainbow Dash who is holding her with her right arm, knowing how sensitive Fluttershy can be. All the girls are turned toward Rarity as the fashionista begins talking.

“In order for you to understand what happened and how I know, I think it is better for me to start at the beginning. As you know, Applejack and I met at Junior school, first gradeto be more precise.”

“Like me and Rainbow,” Fluttershy says. Both smiles as they recall that day.

“Indeed, although it didn’t quite went the same way.”

It was a cloudy day in Canterlot city. The previous days have been rainy and left behind them puddles of dirty water and mud. In one of the suburbs, a lot of young children are gathering with their parents in the front yourd of an Elementary School. The building is L-shaped with two yourd, one on the front and one on the other side. Among these people, a seven-year-old Rarity is waiting alongside her mother Cookie Crumbles.

“Now remember honey,” Cookie Crumbles says. “First impression is always important when you enter a new place, so be sure to show your best side right away.”

Rarity smiles. She already knows that of course. That’s why she wears her best clothes that she chosen herself and her mother helped her brush her hairs. She has her favorite light pink jacket, a T-shirt of the same color with a long deep blue skirt and sparky shoes while her purple hairs are tied in a long ponytail. Unlike some other children, Rarity isn’t worried or scared, despite today being her first day in a new school. She knows she won’t have problems making friends and be liked.

Soon, the doors of the school open. After a last goodbye to their parents, the children enter the building some with more enthusiasm than others. The teachers and supervisors guide them through the large corridor toward their classes and show them their boxes where they can put their things. Her teacher, Mrs Gentle Breeze, is nice and have a gentle voice. The stuff she asks them to do isn’t fun but isn’t too difficult either.

When the time of the first recreation comes, the teachers lead the children in the inner courtyourd. The kids are more than happy to be able to play outside after sitting for hours despite the wet ground and grass. Rarity is among the last group to come out. She wants to have fun, but she doesn’t want to risk damaging her clothes, so she walks toward the part of the courtyourd without grass where some kids that are playing a game where they jump above white lines and on numbers drawn on the ground. Suddenly, something collides against her, making her fall directly in a puddle of mud.

“Aïe!”

“Ouch!”

Rarity sits up and rubs her head before looking at the one responsible for her fall. It’s another kid who also fell. He has a pair of brown boots, brown shorts, a dark red shirt under an opened black jacket and short blond hairs that doesn’t even reach his shoulders. The kid looks at back at Rarity before standing up.

“Oh, Ah’m so sorry. Ah didn’t see you,” he says extending his hand toward Rarity.

Rarity accepts it and the kid helps her stand up. Somewhat, he looks familiar. Where did she…In class. She remembers seeing him in her class even if she doesn’t know him.

“It’s okay, accident happens.” Rarity then looks down at her clothes, before letting out a high-pitched scream making the other kid to cover his ears. “My favorite jacket”, she almost cries pulling on her jacket, revealing several stains of mud on it. “It is ruined.”

“Oops. Sorry again. At least, it’s nothin’ serious”. His clothes, even if they are now a bit dirty, aren’t stained. Rarity also wonders why he speaks differently, the way he talks is just…weird. However, the ruined clothe is more important.

“Nothing serious?” Rarity repeats glaring at the kid. “You call a beautiful and perfect jacket ruined nothing serious?”

The kid looks back at her with wide eyes, like if she had suddenly grown a second head. “Hum…Yeup?”

Rarity almost growls. “Of course, I can’t expect a boy to understand. With the way you dress and talk, you look like you live on farm or something like that.”

The other kid frowns and crosses his arms. “And what is wrong with livin’ on a farm exactly, because mah family does own one. Also, Ah’m a girl, not a boy.”

Rarity blinks, taken aback. “Really?” Now that she thinks about it, she does have the face and voice of a girl, even she doesn’t dress like one and her short hairs certainly doesn’t help. “I mean…Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you.”

The girl simply rolls her eyes. “Ah still don’t like what you said, but at least you said sorry. Mah name is Applejack by the way.”

“Mine is Rarity.” As she talks, Rarity tries to get rid of the mud on her jacket.

A ball then rolls to Applejack’s feet.

“Hey Applejack, you’re coming or what,” a voice then says. It belongs to another girl standing next to a boy on the other side of the playground.

“Yeah, wait for me.” Applejack takes the wet ball in her hand and looks back at Rarity. She hesitates a bit before asking, “Hey, you wanna come play with us?”

“And risk ruining my clothes even more, no thanks,” Rarity responds as she fails to save her jacket. It is even worse because she now has mud on her hands too and she can’t remove the stains on the jacket. “Why me,” she cries, her mascara falling from her eyes, before running off toward one of the supervisors.

Applejack watches her leaves and snorts, annoyed, before running toward her playmates.

“So, your first meeting didn’t went well,” Twilight Sparkle resumes.

“It’s not that this isn’t interesting, but what does it have to do with Applejack’s parents,” Sunset Shimmer asks.

“You thought Applejack was a boy,” Spikes says surprised.

“Yes, it didn’t. I’m telling you this so you can know exactly what I know about Applejack’s parents and their passing away. That’s honestly all you learned from the story?” Rarity responds raising one finger with each response. The last one makes Spike chuckles awkwardly as he murmurs ‘Of course not’.

“Okay, so what happened next,” Rainbow Dash asks not wanting to lose time with small talk.

“Well, nothing at the beginning. Applejack and I, we weren’t friends, so we didn’t spend time together and maybe I was still mad because of my jacket. Anyway, things stayed like this until that day months after our first encounter.”

It is Friday and the schools are already closed for the weekend. The clouds in the sky doesn’t block the light of the evening sun. Rarity is sitting on the back seat of her father’s car as Hondo Flanks drives. Cookie Crumble had to stay at home to take care of Rarity’s baby sister, Sweetie Belle, born only three years ago. Rarity, however, had no excuse to deny her father request to have someone accompany him. Hondo Flanks turns right and enters a driveway, passing under a sign saying ‘Sweet Apple Acres’. He stops the car in front of a red barn, steps out of the car and open the door so Rarity can get out.

All around them, there are trees, a lot of trees, too much to count even for an adult. On their right there is a small but cute house and the grass around them is all green. However, that place smell differently that the others houses Rarity went to, including her own. She doesn’t like the odor.

“Father, why are we here? What is here exactly?”

“We are on a farm, sweetie. An apple farm. Beautiful isn’t it?”

‘A farm? It doesn’t look like in cartoons,’ Rarity thinks.

“We’re here because of the reception at city hall tomorrow night. It is my turn to bring the desserts and I need a good bunch of fresh red juicy apples that we can’t find in stores,” Hondo Flanks adds.

Her father recently discovered a passion for cooking deserts using only fruits and he takes is place in this city hall thing seriously. Rarity never thought it would lead them to a real farm. If she had known, she wouldn’t have come.

An adult then walks out of the house and toward them. “Howdy and welcome to Sweet Apple Acres. I’m Bright Mac and you must be Hondo Flanks with whom I talked on the phone.”

“Yes, it’s me. A pleasure to meet you,” Rarity’s father responds as the two men shake hands.

Bright Mac is the tallest adult Rarity ever seen and he wears a brown cowboy hat on his head. His stature scare her, so she hides behind her father, but it doesn’t prevent Bright Mac from see her.

“Well, who do we have here? Howdy little one,” he says kneeling on one knee.

“This is my daughter. Rarity,” Hondo Flanks exclaims. “Say hello to the man sweetie”.

“Hi sir,” Rarity says a bit timidly before walking out from behind her father.

“You know, I have a daughter around the same age as you, maybe you’ll like to meet her.” Bright Mac turns around. “Applejack! Come over here!”

After a minute, a kid appears from behind the house and runs toward them. Rarity immediately recognises the Applejack from her class, the one that ruined her favorite jacket.

“What is it dad,” Applejack asks before looking at the visitors and recognising Rarity.

“You?” they say at the same time surprising their fathers.

“Oh, you kids know each other,” Bright Mac asks his daughter.

“Eum…yeup. We’re in the same class at school,” Applejack answers briefly and Rarity nods to confirm it.

“In that case, what do you think showin’ our farm to your friend? You two could have fun,” Bright Mac proposes. “If that’s okay with you Mr. Flanks.”

“Of course.” Hondo Flanks turns his head toward Rarity. “You should go play with your friend while her father and I talk grown up business.”

“We’re not fr…” Rarity tries to retort before realising it won’t change anything. In addition, going with Applejack will be less boring than listening to her father talking with that man about buying fruits. “Okay father.”

Applejack must have come to the same realisation, because she nods and tells Rarity to follow her. Rarity sighs internally before following while their fathers walk in the other direction, talking about apples and prices. The girls enter a rocky alley between the barn and the house leading toward the back of the house.

“So,” Applejack says trying to break the ice between them, “Ah never thought Ah’d see you here.”

“Well, my father didn’t tell me where we were going,” Rarity explains before covering her nose when a particularly bad smell strikes her as they approach the backyourd. “Yuck, what is that ho…” Rarity stops herself. A bad smell isn’t a reason to be impolite or use bad words. “…that smell.”

“Uh? Oh, that must be the pigs. They ain’t far from us.” Applejack answers not appearing to be bothered by the smell at all.

“Pigs? I thought this was an apple farm.”

“It is. All the trees you see around our house are apple trees. It’s what we make the most. But we also have pigs and chickens and a few cows. We even have a horse and a dog.”

Rarity knows these animals from pictures she saw in books and movies on TV (except dogs, she seen some in real life), but she doesn’t really like them. It’s not that she dislikes animals, but the only one that interest her are cats, because she finds them naturally beautiful and noble.

They reach the backyard. On their immediate right, there are several chicken houses with chicken wandering around. Seeing this, Rarity immediately walks to the other side of Applejack, making the farm girl rolls her eyes.

“Maybe you prefer to go inside the house,” Applejack proposes and Rarity nods eagerly.

Applejack leads her to the back door of the house. Once inside, Rarity takes a little moment to look at her surroundings. The house seems pretty and clean enough. She follows Applejack in the living room. There, on a chair, another adult in holding a sleeping toddler in her arms.

“Hey mom. Applebloom finally stopped runnin’ everywhere?” Applejack says happily as she walks next to them and extends her hand to gently caress her little sister head.

“Yes honey. I swear, she’s worse than Big Mac’s and you combined. Thankfully she’s only three-year-old and doesn’t have a lot of energy.” The woman then notices Rarity’s presence. “And who’s your friend over here?”

Unlike Applejack’s father, she isn’t imposing and has a soft voice, so Rarity is less afraid to speak. The red ribbon in her hairs is even pretty. “Hi, my name is Rarity. Nice to meet you.”

“Hello Rarity, I’m Buttercup. It is nice to meet you too. I’m happy to finally meet one of Applejack’s friend. She never brought any home.”

“We’re more classmate than friends,” Applejack explains. “I think her dad is here to buy apples.”

“Oh.” Buttercup says. “Still, don’t hesitate if you want a drink or a snack. Applejack can show you where our toys are if you two want to play a game. Meanwhile, I have to get Applebloom to her bed before she wakes up.”

Buttercup stands up and leaves, climbing the stairs leading to the first floor. Rarity turns toward Applejack.

“I didn’t know you had a sister. She’s the same age as mine.”

“Really,” Applejack asks looking at Rarity. “What’s her name?”

“Sweetie Belle. She’s annoying when she cries and sometimes smell bad, but I’m still happy she’s here.”

“Yeup. Applebloom can be difficult at time too, but she’s so cute and funny to play with.”

“I like to do things with Sweetie Belle too. Our favorite game is dress-up.” Rarity claps her hands excitedly as she says this all.

Applejack can’t help but rolls her eyes, though this time not in an exasperated way. She even has a smile on her face. “We are more the kind to play outside honestly.”

They continue to talk about their sisters for a little while until a loud and long stomach grumbling interrupts her. It comes from Rarity who put her hands on her stomach, blushing as she looks away embarrassed.

This makes Applejack smirk. “Someone seem hungry. Wanna eat somethin’?”

“Eum…Yes please,” Rarity says surprised that Applejack offered food instead of laughing at her like see sometime saw others do. Being laughed at is something she always disliked and feared.

Applejack leads her in the kitchen where Rarity can see a huge basket on the counter covered by a blanket. Applejack climbs on one of the chairs and takes out two beautiful red apples from the basket.

“Granny and Ah picked up these apples today, so they are fresh and juicy,” she explains as she gets down from the chair and gives one to Rarity.

Buttercup enters the kitchen and smiles when she sees them.

“I know you two would be hungry. Do you want me to cut them for you,” she proposes.

The two girls nod. Buttercup takes their apples, two smalls plate and a knife. She cuts the fruits in eight pieces and puts them into the plates. Rarity and Applejack thanks her.

“You’re welcome. Now, I’m going to see how things are in the orchard. Come and get me if Applebloom wakes up, okay honey?”

“Yeup mom,” Applejack responds as she watches her mother walks out of the kitchen.

Rarity and Applejack eat their apples, happy and having fun together as they do. Rarity confesses this is the best apple she ever eaten and even shows a refined way to eat them that Applejack finds funny. When they are done, they run back into the living room where Applejack jumps on the couch.

“Aaaaah, eatin’ always makes me feel better,” she says as Rarity sits gracefully on the couch.

“Yes. I’m still surprised you didn’t laugh when my stomach made noise,” Rarity admits.

“Well, it was darn-tooting funny, but Ah know it’s no fun when people laugh at you, especially other kids.” Applejack lies down on the couch as she says this.

“What do you mean?” Rarity sits closer to her.

“Almost everyday kids at school laugh at me, so Ah know how it feel.”

Rarity mouth falls wide open, surprise obvious in her eyes. “What? Why would they do that.”

Applejack sits up and looks at her dangling feet. “It’s because of how Ah talk. They say it’s weird or unnerving. That Ah’m dumb because Ah come from a farm. Always been like that. You said somethin’ about it too.”

Rarity looks away, not knowing what she had said had hurt Applejack that much. Even if she partially deserved it. “Well, I’m sure not all the kids do that.”

“Most of them do. It… kinda hurt. Ah just wishes they’d stop already.”

Rarity notice some sadness in Applejack’s voice as the girl continues looking at her dangling feet while speaking. She tries to remember the times she saw Applejack at school, and most of them she was with the same two other kids. She must find a way to help her. After a minute, an idea comes to her mind.

“I know,” she practically screams with a high-pitched voice startling Applejack who covers her ears with her hands. “I know how I can help you.”

“What are you sayin’,” Applejack asks not understanding.

“That I can help you change, so you will be more popular. Trust me. I’m the most popular kid in our grade, so I know what I’m talking about. I can help you find new clothes and letting your hairs grow is easy. What we must really work on is your talking. Like that, people can’t know where you come from.”

“But…that’s all of mahself you’re changin’,” Applejack is now frowning, but Rarity is so into her idea that she continues anyway.

“Well, it’s the only way. How else do you expect people to like you?”

Applejack eyes widen. “Well, Ah’m not sure Ah want to do it if it’s to become mean like you an’ only care for clothes.”

Rarity gasp, shocked and hurt. However, before the argument can go any further, the front open, revealing Hondo Flanks.

“Ah, there you are Rarity. I’m done. We can go back home.”

Applejack doesn’t say a word and simply turn around, showing her back. Rarity get down from the couch without a word either. She takes a last look at Applejack before walking toward her door and following her father to their car. Bright Mac is there, loading a large box full of apples inside transparent bags.

“There you go. This should be more than enough for your reception,” he says closing the car trunk before taking out his cowboy hat. “Don’t hesitate to come back if you want more.”

“We will,” Hondo Flanks responds as he opens the car back door for Rarity. “Thanks again.”

Rarity climbs on the back seat and puts on her seat belt. She can’t help but taking a glance at the house. As surprising as it is, in the end she had enjoyed her visit here. For a moment, Rarity even thought she and Applejack could become friends. She doesn’t understand why Applejack said she was mean when she was only trying to help her. A sigh escapes her lips as Hondo Flanks takes his place behind the wheel and starts the car. It looks like she was wrong.