"Sweetie, it's late." John said as he looked over at the luck dragon. Lorraine was sitting at the table in the common room of their suite, an open book in front of her and a pen in her right claw as she jotted down notes onto the pages of a blank notebook. John yawned. "I think I'm going to bed."
Lorraine looked up and gave her boyfriend a soft smile. "Ok, I'll probably be up for bit. night, love you."
"Goodnight, love you too," the smol bug replied happily as he hopped off the couch and made his way to his room. "Don't stay up too late."
"I'll try not to." Lorraine replied.
John disappeared into his room and the dragon took a moment to check the time by way of a nearby clock. She sighed. "Midnight... Damnit Alastor, where the hell are you?"
She was worried and a touch of paranoia due to the lateness of the hour wasn't helping so she did what came naturally to her, found something to distract herself with. The book was one detailing the various tribes of deer scattered across the globe and her notes emphasized the pros and cons of each.
"Flora Doe? Like a dryad?" she mused as she turned the page. "...Part plant, floramancy, an all female species?! Yeesh the conservation committee would have a field day with that..."
The door that led into the castle hallway opened. Alastor trotted in merrily and froze as soon as he saw her and his ever present radio static crackled.
Lorraine set her pen down, got up out of her chair and hurried over to him. "Where have you been? I spent most of the day looking for you! Are you alright?"
Alastor blinked. "You did?"
"Yes!" she replied. "You rock up with a god in tow and then up and leave? I was worried about you!" her ears flattered against her head. "You are ok, right?"
Alastor laughed. "You were worried about me? Oh my dear, I wasn't the one that suffered a magical overload now was I?" he tilted his to one side and looked at her curiously. "How are you feeling?"
"Physically I'm alright... Mentally? I feel worn out." Lorraine admitted, hesitant.
"I believe this is where I ask if you want to talk about it," Alastor mused and gave the dragon a beaming grin. "So! Do you want to talk about it?"
"In a sec," she replied and returned to her seat to close the tome she'd been reading. Alastor trotted over and held he notebook in his magic. Lorraine noticed his curiosity and elaborated. "Princess Joy brought up the fact that I could go to a god to change my species. Nightmare Night is a few weeks away so I planned on asking The Nightmare for help then... I've been trying to find a species that appeals to me... Luna found my original notes on the idea, she obviously didn't take it well."
"You mean your notes on the balance of Light and Shadow? You were simply going to ask The Nightmare for advice regarding your magic correct?" Alastor asked and at her visible confusion, smirked. "I know you keep your things in plain sight due to your vision but you should put your personal research projects somewhere away from prying eyes."
"Really." Lorraine deadpanned.
The buck cackled. "This is why I like you darling, that rough around the edges attitude hiding beneath such a demure creature like yourself is very entertaining."
"Uh-huh." she replied and his smile only grew. She gave in and chuckled at his eccentricity before returning to her calm facade. "Funny, but could you please not go through my stuff, I thought you were better than that."
"I make no promise!" Alastor replied jovially and Lorraine snorted in response.
"Just try." she replied and looked at him curiously. "What're your thoughts? You were there, The Nightmare basically said I need to change for my own health."
"You could remain as you are," Alastor suggested. "It would be quite the miserable existence, as you've no doubt surmised but would it be worth it?"
"Are you kidding me?" Lorraine snapped. "Live in fear of another blowout? Surrender to the demands of those batshit crazy arsehats in Ponyville just to avoid the stress?"
Her gaze was steely. "Become a broodmother for a species I couldn't give a shit about just for the "protection and safety" that committee could offer me? Be treated as subhuman or looked at like I'm some kind of goddess all because I got dumped here and turned into a walking macguffin? Hell. No."
She continued her rant, oblivious to the overjoyed grin the buck was sporting. "I spent a goddamned year battling chronic acid reflux, I lost so much weight and was so frail that even spending the hour or so a week running errands left me fatigued. I'm not going to be that fuckin' weak ever again!" she stopped, the frustration on her face fell. She looked tired as she focused her attention back onto Alastor. "Luna was just the straw that broke the camel's back, she knew I cared about her opinion... I never expected her to dismiss my feelings like that..."
"I noticed," he stated and gave her a reassuring smile. "But that my dear, just goes to show how strong you are! It took not the heckling of selfish fools to break your spirit! Only the sting of betrayal could pierce your armor!"
"... Alastor, I spent the better part of a decade finding emotional validation in fiction, I didn't really have proper friends until five or so years ago and I wasn't..." Lorraine hesitated and started fidgeting with her pen. "I wasn't really ok with showing emotional vulnerability until that point. In some aspects I'm still not So, I just get hyper focused on whatever video game or TV show catches my interest to keep me from being stuck in my own head."
Lorraine paused as she thought about what to say. "... I have to bite back a sarcastic remark or force myself to walk away whenever a mare tries to rile me up and it's reaching a point where I can't keep being considerate about some pissy drama queen that treats guys like their her property."
"I'd say good riddance! Those nattering fools don't deserve your kindness," Alastor replied merrily. "You have far too much faith in others."
"I know, I know," she replied with a wave of her claw. "It's more than that though."
"How so?" The deer asked curiously and took a seat in the chair across from her.
"I'm basically the poster girl for the social movement but my strengths aren't public speaking or even being a public figure," Lorraine explained. "I'll try my best but I feel like I'm doing a better job by offering advice and forming a game plan behind-the-scenes, being one-on-one with someone and doing my best to offer advice and emotional support and not trying to appeal to the masses."
"That little club you've started with the youth of Ponyville is certainly gaining traction," Alastor mused. "If I had my equipment... Why we could go global! Just imagine the headlines! You could draw in support from around the world! From the distant shores of Mobius to the Royal Palace of Nippon!"
"That's... Great..." Lorraine replied awkwardly. "I'm glad you're willing to help with the PR, I'm always worried I'm going to say something dumb that'll tank our chances of doing any real good."
"I'm happy to help you darling, after all, I have nothing else to do!" Alastor replied brightly. "So why not assist you? It may even be the key to regaining my powers."
"Oh!" Lorraine said suddenly. "That reminds me, Princess Joy gave me a hint about that."
The buck's ears perked up. "She did?"
"Yeah, she told me that you have to remember what led you to Tartarus in the first place, any idea what she meant?" Lorraine asked.
Alastor hummed in thought for a moment. "I have no idea!"
The dragon blinked. "... Are you sure? Maybe it has something to do with how you became a demon?"
A laugh track eminated from the buck as he laughed. "Ahahaha! Why that's just ridiculous! Why would such a thing grant me my powers when- well I did some terrible things! I won't bore you with the details but suffice to say I was a right terror!"
"...It was just an idea." Lorraine said somewhat meekly and Alastor smiled sheepishly.
"Terribly sorry darling, I just feel like we're missing something." Alastor said and perked back. "But we seem to have gotten offtrack, you wanted my opinion regarding your plan to change species?"
"If that's ok." Lorraine replied.
Alastor considered her for a moment. "... Lorraine, dearest, I don't care what you are. You could be your original human self or even as something as absurd as a pony! I delight in watching how you react to the world around you! I want to hear your opinion on whatever strikes your fancy! It matters not what you are but what you do, how you react! How you think!"
"Even though I'm just some average run-of-the-mill chick?" Lorraine asked flatly. "You're going to get bored sooner or later."
"Ha!" Alastor laughed. "You underestimate yourself. Your blunt nature is refreshing and your capacity to care about the few that have earned your trust is astounding!"
"It's not exactly hard to earn my trust," Lorraine pointed out. "Just don't be a dick."
"Ah but once that trust is broken, what then?" Alastor asked. "What of Luna's bratty behavior?"
Lorraine leaned back in her chair. "I'll give her another day to calm down, then try talking to her again." she frowned slightly. "I don't like leaving things up in the air like this. I'd prefer to hash things out properly, maybe salvage my friendship with her if I can."
"Does her approval matter that much to you?" Alastor asked curiously.
"She was one of the first people to really try and be there for me an' John when we first got here and I ended up relying on her for guidance on what I was supposed to do," Lorraine explained. "Messaging or chatting with her about anything just became normal after a bit... Even if I can't get through to her, I at least want some closure."
"So you'll be going through with the transformation either way?" Alastor mused.
"Yeah, since my situation isn't normal I'm compiling information so I can make an informed decision by Nightmare Night." Lorraine explained and gestured at her notebook.
"Why deer of all races?" Alastor asked. "Your choices are from any race on the planet and a few native to Tartarus or the Dream Realm since you're gaining help from The Nightmare."
"Deer are resilient, as a species they've survived The Dark Age relatively unscathed barring the extinction of The Northern Boreal Forest Tribe," Lorraine replied and the buck twitched slightly but the luck dragon didn't notice as she flipped through her notes. "I also took into account their positive relations with ponies, while I would still face discrimination for ya know, being female, it wouldn't be nearly as bad as international laws prohibit that kind of behavior towards female deer."
She paused. "Plus deer society is more open-minded in general, sure does are expected to stay home at The Sacred Grove if they can't pass the required tests to gain a Migration Permit but their not ham-fisted into being housewives and there's plenty of job opportunities, creative outlets and a greater emphasis on self-expression." she shrugged. "I could be me and so long as I'm not a arsehole then folks won't bat an eye."
"... I must admit you do exhibit some rather doe-like behavior." Alastor mused and grinned cheekily. "That is, when you're not acting like an excitable puppy."
"Hey, the tail wagging is a subconscious behavior! I can't help it," Lorraine huffed. "... Anyway, you're not gonna try and talk me out of it?"
"My dear, you will be adorable not matter what. You may not like it but you behave in a way that is unfairly cute." Alastor said with a large grin.
The dragon stared at him for a brief moment. "If you say so." she sighed at his antics. "I'll have to be careful over the next few weeks not to strain myself but at least living like that will only be temporary and not... Another year, ya know?"
"Indeed," the buck replied with a nod. "So, what are your plans for tomorrow? Assuming you don't stay up until 3 AM, again."
"Princess Celestia had a guard bring me my bag from Ponyville so, if I was feeling up to it, I was going to browse the shops here. I need to find a place that sells soft toys- oh uh, I guess they'd be called plushies or stuffed animals here right?" she replied.
"A day out on the town? Sounds invigorating," Alastor replied. "Looking to start a collection?"
"Maybe?" Lorraine replied and shrugged. "This is gonna sound dumb, being a grown arse adult and all but, I haven't had a decent nights sleep since I got here... When I was human, I had a toy I'd hug while I'd sleep. I tried looking for a replacement but the stores in Ponyville won't let me in and I'm not going to bug my friends about this when I can just deal."
"Darling, you poor, misguided creature. If you so desired, you could have any worldly want fulfilled at the drop of a hat." Alastor pointed out. "You have a direct line of communication not only to the ruler of Equestria but my own list of contacts from Tartarus are available to you well, provided you summon them yourself, of course."
"Yeah, for more important shit, not because I can't sleep without a plushie," Lorraine grumbled. "Besides, I had a to-do list of stuff I was going to get done on Wednesday but since I'm already up here may as well get a bit of shopping and sightseeing done."