Sunset dragged Lion into the girls' toilets. It hadn't changed much the last time he visited it. He smiled before turning away awkwardly, due to eye contact not really being his thing.
"So..uh?" Lion said, trying to find his words. "While I think you are pretty and I like the attention...uh..."
"I know," Sunset replied bluntly.
"Know what? What do you know?" Lion asked.
"That you're actually a unicorn stallion who got teleported to this world and turned into a girl after getting high."
Lion sighed. "Yep, that's basically it."
While Lion smiled awkwardly, Sunset crossed her arms and frowned at Lion. "I also know you have been spying on Princess Twilight Sparkle."
"Well, I wouldn't say spying. It's more stalking, actually."
"That's not better," Sunset said.
"Hey, I've done worse!"
"Like mind-controlling Fleur Dis Lee for your own perverted ends?"
Lion stared at Sunset blankly. "Uh..."
Before Lion had the chance to speak, Sunset walked up to him and slapped him across the face.
"I deserved that," Lion said bluntly.
"I'd say you deserved more but, looking at you now, I think that more than covers it."
Lion looked down at his voluptuous vessel as Sunset chuckled.
"Ha ha," Lion said sarcastically, "So, since you now know everything, are you gonna help me or what?"
"I'm gonna help you," Sunset said.
"Wait, you are?"
"I've done bad things too so I can relate. Maybe not as bad as what you did-"
"Bullshit!" Lion suddenly shouted.
"Huh?"
"If you saw my memories, then you would know that a sailor told me about how two of the students turned into she-devils. And since this Twilight nearly destroyed the world, from what I've been told, I would assume you've done something just as bad. While with me, the worst I did was use possession and mind-control spells on supermodels, stalk Princess Twilight Sparkle, sail around Equestria pillaging and looting, and getting off my nut on very illegal substances!"
Sunset sighed. "If you must know, before Princess Twilight and I became friends, I stole her Element of Magic, turned most of the school into my brainwashed army, and acted like a bitch to those that would later on become my friends."
"Yep. Definitely more evil than what I did. Word of advice, Sunset. Stick to low-level crimes, that's what I do."
"Right, because stalking royalty is 'low-level'," Sunset responded sarcastically, air quotes and all.
"One, I was just following her around. It's not like I was gonna assassinate her or anything. And two, you stole from royalty! That's actually worse than following somepony around, I promise you that!"
Before Lion could ramble some more, a thought popped into his head. "Wait! You said you stole the Element of Magic from Princess Twilight herself. How did you do that?"
Sunset walked Lion to the horse statue in front of the school.
"So, let me get this straight," Lion said to Sunset, "I go through the thingy holding up this statue and wake up in Princess Twilight's castle."
"Yep. It used to open up every thirty moons but, after Twilight found a workaround, you can use it any time you like."
"Uh-huh. That sounds good and all but there's just one little problem left unresolved," Lion said.
"What?"
Lion jumped angrily and threw his arms down at his sides, emphasizing his curvaceous appearance. "I'm still a girl!"
"I'm sure Twilight would have something for that."
"And how am I supposed to ask her to turn me back to normal? 'Hey, I smoked some poison joke and somehow turned into a mare, can you help me?'."
Sunset stared at Lion in utter bewilderment. "You smoked poison joke?"
"Yep."
"As in the plant known for having silly but at-times dangerous side-effects?"
"Yep."
"And you knew this while you were smoking it?"
"Hey, Twilight's not the only one that's fond of experiments."
As Lion grinned like an idiot, Sunset just facepalmed at the absolute violation of common sense Lion had committed.
"I'm not even gonna ask how you're still standing," Sunset said.
"Don't act that surprised, Sunset," Lion deadpanned, "You read my mind, remember?"
"I may have skimmed some details. By the way, the inhabitants here are called 'humans', not 'waifus'."
Lion paused for a moment. "Then why did the parrot call me a waifu?"
Sunset and Lion sat at one of the computers in the school library. Lion stared in awe at the modern art masterpieces he witnessed through this thing called 'Google Images'. Sunset meanwhile just had her head in her hand, trying but failing to suspend her disbelief. How was it that she was now introducing a perverted stallionfoal turned teenage human female to the Internet? Soon enough, Twilight entered the library and noticed them.
"I was wondering where you two disappeared to," Twilight said.
Sunset shot her head up. "Hey, Twilight," she said. "I was just acquainting Lion with the Internet."
"They don't have it where I'm from," Lion explained.
"I see," Twilight replied. "What are you looking at?"
"Nothing!" Lion said as he quickly covered up the computer screen filled with pictures of waifus. Twilight just stared at Lion in bewilderment.
"Okay?" Twilight said. "Do you guys want to accompany me with a science project I've been working on?"
Sunset's eyes widened in realization. "Oh, I forgot about that!" she said. "I'll be with you in a minute."
"It's at home but great."
"I'll come with you too," Lion said, "As soon as I have erased my browser history and logged out."
After school, Twilight, Sunset, their friends and Lion wandered into Twilight's lab. The room was dark, with the only light source being the various gizmos and gadgets Twilight left on. Most, if not all, of the lights and computer screens emitted a cyan colour that, for some unexplained reason, wasn't giving everyone a shade of blue. They walked to a blue machine that almost looked like a big bulky fidget spinner.
"Uh?" Lion asked, "What is that?"
"It's a teleporter I invented," Twilight replied. "I have been spending some time reverse-engineering the qualities of the portal to Equestria with Sunset in order to find out if it's possible to teleport someone from one location to the next. You know, without going into another world and turning into a pony."
"Does it work?" Lion asked.
Twilight put her hand behind her head and smiled sheepishly. "It does work, but we're still in the process of ironing out a few kinks."
The teleporter whirred and spun around as it spontaneously produced a muffin. Lion looked at the muffin in bewilderment.
"It doesn't look that bad," Lion bluntly said, "It looks just like an ordinary-"
Twilight picked up the muffin and broke it in two, revealing bulging green growths within the muffin.
"Oh my goodness!" Lion exclaimed. "What the everloving crap are those?!"
"Tumors?" Twilight replied sheepishly.
Pinkie Pie gasped in an exaggerated manner. "Does this mean we can't teleport muffins?!" she asked.
"You can," Twilight replied, "It's just that no-one's going to want to eat them."