//------------------------------// // Chapter five: The Chaos Duel // Story: The Princess of Chaos // by Foal Star //------------------------------// Princess Celestia was flying next to Discord as they went across the streets of Canterlot, looking rather pleased with herself. Despite some of her initial reservations, finally releasing her chaos magic in the cake shop had proven quite therapeutic, effectively purging much of the stress she’d been feeling up to that point. And as one would expect, she wasn’t ready to stop any time soon. The former alicorn turned her gaze on the Lord of Chaos, seeing how calm he looked as he chatted about how cool she was and how impressive she was using chaos magic. The conversation felt like a blur for the Princess, and she was seemingly impressed by his restraint to cause any unnecessary chaos to be corrupt her. In truth, it was some of the most she’d had in a very long time, and a part of her just wanted to embrace it fully, finally cut loose. Yet, another part held her back, reminding her as it had so many, many times, she couldn’t control her chaos magic, and it was too much of a risk. If she was being honest, the near-constant reminders of her repeated failures to get control of this power had gotten more than a little taxing. Honestly, it still baffled her that for her more than millennia of experience with magic; she couldn’t completely get the hang of this. A part of her had considered that maybe only a truly chaotic individual could understand it correctly. That thought made her look back at her transformed hand, reminding her that while she might be a draconequus in body, her mind was still the same one as before. Then again, perhaps it was truly impossible to control said power, and it was best to just go with the flow, so to speak. So curious... “So, what’s next?” Discord asked, confusion evident on his face at how his companion had suddenly gone silent. “Huh? What was that?” Celestia asked, shaken from her inner quandary and blushing at the realization of what’d just happened. Discord rolled his eyes, getting a bit annoyed. “Ugh, I was just asking where we’re going next? I’m way too pumped from the last cake shop to stop now and wanted you to give your two cents?” Celestia’s cheeks flushed pink, deciding to put her previous concerns on hold for the moment, as she had one shop in mind and responded curtly. “Yes, I do. I’m sure you’ll like it more than the last one.” “Oh?” Discord asked with a smirk, his curiosity peaked. “Please, do tell.” Celestia, however, merely blushed in embarrassment again, almost trying to wave away the question entirely. “Oh, you’ll see soon enough. Now, come on, I think I’ve been stalling long enough.” With a literal stretch of the arm and a fast yank, Discord found himself being dragged through the streets of Canterlot before the pair made a sharp turn at a corner. Once they finally stopped, Discord's eyes widened at the building before them. The establishment in question looked like somethingPinkie Pie would’ve designed if she were ever given the chance. It was bright pink with balloons tied all over while a massive giant birthday cake, topped with numerous with giant pink and white striped candles, sat comfortably on the roof. And situated in the center near the entrance was a massive, flashing neon sign that read, “Mrs. Funnel Cake’s Cake Emporium.” Discord’s mouth was agape, and he had this look of disbelief seeing the building up close, unable to peel his eyes away from how gaudy and pink it looked. The cake overhead looked almost real, with the pink frosting outlining it and the little pink flowers outlining the Cake’s surface. It was probably the only impressive thing about the entire building...not that it helped much. The Lord of Chaos’s head slowly turned like a crank, finding Celestia standing with an enormous grin, that only made him shudder. “Did that incident with those nobles a few days ago cause your mind to regress or something?” The Princess of the sun blushed, feeling so embarrassed at sharing something so private, not even Luna or Twilight knew about it and responded. “Oh, stop! Seriously, this is a secret, ok! I...I like this place and yes some fancy cake shops are what all my advisors would agree is where I should order the pastries for the party. But...thi...this is what I want.” Discord drew he threw his claw and lion paw across his chest with a scowl on his face. “Well, on the one claw, I could certainly understand why they would be a little...conflicted getting pastries for a high-class party from this place. However, what does it matter.? Aren’t you the Princess, after all, you seriously expect me to believe you can’t even order what you want at your parties?” Celestia sighed, shaking her head as she went about trying to explain the subtle and careful art of sucking up to the nobles. And explained, “These parties aren’t for me? Yes, I'm a princess, but that doesn’t mean I need to make those that govern this kingdom happy.” Discord threw his head and laughed, “So, you're letting these nobles walk all over you?” “Of course not!?” Celestia cried out and stomped a foot on the ground. The draconequus pointed at the shop. “Then, we’re going to order your cakes through this shop for the party?.” “No way! This is just something I wanted to show you. There are other cake shops thi-” Discord flew over and snapped, “Listen! The reason your chaos magic was so crazy before is that you're allowing everypony around you to walk over you. You're scared of losing control, huh?” “What?” Celestia snapped, getting all flustered, feeling a bit peeved of all ponies being insulted about her control was none other than the lord of chaos himself. “You seriously think I'm going to be insulted by the draconequus who tried to take over Equestria twice?” “Ok, first, I’ve already long apologized for that, plus you’re deflecting the issue. This isn’t about me; it’s about you,” Discord snapped, pointing at the cake shop. “Come on, just go and do something for yourself for once?” “Fine!” Celestia shouted as she stomped through the doors, too proud to fight back, while Discord snickered as he floated in after her. Upon entering, the duo came upon a rather plump, tan coated unicorn mare with wide pink eyes and wavy pink locks swirling around her head and tail. The pleasantly plump pony turned around, hearing the jingling of the bells as the door opened and gasped, seeing the two draconequus. Thankfully, her look of astonishment changed as she saw that the white-coated/scaled draconequus was none other than Princess Celestia herself. The big mare waved a hoof and exclaimed, “Hello, Princess Celestia! I didn’t expect to see you this week!? And my goodness, I must say, you're quite stunning as a draconequus!” Celestia didn’t know how to take the compliment as she threw her long, light rainbow-colored mane over her head. “Thank you, your compliment is greatly appreciated.” Seeing things were getting a little awkward, mainly with Celestia, Discord decided it was time for him to chime in. “So, we’ve been looking for a bakery to buy some pastries for Celestia’s party this weekend, and the princess has decided to choose your shop to cater to!” Discord exclaimed as he held up his claws in the air as if the chubby baker just won a prize on a game show, a sentiment she seemed to share. The mare’s eyes went wide as she placed a hoof to her chest, trying to keep herself from falling over from a heart attack. “My goodness...me? I know Princess Celestia loves my cakes!?” The baker slowed down, and her hoof in the ground. “But this is well...um something she keeps private.” Discord did finally take a good look around the shop seeing the place; finding the decor was just as pink as the exterior. In the display cases, there were dozens of decorated birthday cakes of all kinds, with streamers hanging all over the store as if Pinkie’s party cannon had just exploded. Discord quickly pulled out some sunglasses to help against the onslaught of bright colors while turning his attention to the windows, wanting to ensure no pony saw Celestia inside. Luckily it was a slow day, and there weren't any ponies in the shop at the time, but even the draconequus was surprised Celestia would come to eat at such a foalish place like this. “I can see why you were so against coming here, Celestia. I doubt anypony over the age of ten would ever be caught dead in her.” Discord whispered, being quite surprised himself. The Princess rolled her eyes, not knowing how many times she stuffed her face with Cake in front of the draconequus a thousand years ago and flew over to Discord. “Then you obviously don’t know anything about me?” “Oh please! I knew you loved cake, but this place screams Pinkie Pie!” The male draconequus ranted. “I mean...I could imagine a thousand years ago you being like her? But not now? I thought all that fun was zapped out of you after your coronation?" Celestia looked more than a little miffed at such an insinuation. “I’ll have you know that I am still perfectly capable of having fun! Mrs. Funnel Cake can vouch for that.” Said pony immediately clopped her hooves together and exclaimed, “Oh yes! Celestia has quite the playful side to her. She had me set this place up like a foal style birthday party for herself!” The Princess hid her face behind a claw as Discord snickered, imagining Celestia sitting down in a little party hat, party blower in her mouth, and a big birthday cake in front of her. “That's just sad. Adorable...but mostly sad.” “Oh, haha! That’s it! Mrs. Funnel Cake, I'm going to hire you to cater for the party and not just that we're going to have a small party here right now.” Celestia demanded now she’s determined, wanting to prove Discord wrong. To the surprise of Discord, said baker seemed positively ecstatic over the rather spontaneous and out of left field request, practically bouncing with joy. “Oh, how wonderful!” She skipped over to the front door and quickly flipped the sign from open to closed, promptly locking to ensure they weren’t disturbed. Discord all the while simply watched, deciding just to let things play out. them “So...how should we go about this?” Celestia responded by holding out one of her claws, which immediately split into ten and went about snatching cakes from the display before placing them on the table. “We should start by sampling the cakes here to see which one would be the best for the party!?” Funnel Cake nodded happily at the idea while Discord, again finding himself playing the straight man of the group...which was becoming an increasingly common trend in this whole endeavor, opted to follow suit. The three quietly sat down, with Celestia, of course being the first to indulge in the pastries, with Funnel Cake and Discord following suit. While Discord seemed to just passive tolerate the Cake, his unique palette being difficult to satisfy, Funnel and Celestia were quickly picking up speed. This rapid consumption continued for some time, with Discord stopping after about 7 minutes while his companions continued with no sign of slowing down. Curiously enough, despite having eaten enough to fill the entire store, the cakes just seemed to reappear without fail, allowing the show of gluttony to continue. At the same time, the two happily chatted away as they ate. The Princess was having such a good time she had no idea that the Cake was starting to cause her body to grow in size to make her bloat up. It wasn’t until she could hear the chair she was sitting in started to loudly creak that she finally took notice of her current state. It caused her eyes to crack from the shock literally. A simple look in the mirror revealed a now much pudgier Celestia, with a bloated belly, stubby legs doubling in size. Her eyes quickly shifted to Funnel Cake, also showing a noticeable weight gain, while Discord, who by now was at best nibbling on the pastries, barely looked any different at all. “Discord!” Celestia yelled as she finally put down her latest pastry, her outburst also stopping Funnel.“Did you enchant these cakes to make us all fat!” “Excuse me, but I'm not fat! I'm big-boned!” Mrs. Funnel Cake snapped as she crossed her hooves, completely ignoring the sight of her arms, actually starting to sink slowly into her bloated abdomen. Discord, instead of making a snarky remark, opted to simply give Celestia a simple smirk and look of mild offense, “My dear Celestia, that was rather rude of you. Don’t you think you should apologize.” Princess’s gaze hardened at the obvious deflection, but quickly gave the shop owner an apologetic bow. “Please, forgive me. That was not the intent of my comment !" Luckily, Funnel Cake seemed to quickly brush off the issue with a wave and another bite of Cake. “Oh don’t worry about it sweetie, you ain’t the first pony to crack about my size, and you won’t be the last. Sides, now you’re in the same boat as me.” Discord snickered as he started lightly poking Celestia’s belly, which slowly sank into the mixture of flesh and fur as though it were a pillow. “She’s right about that. Though keep eating that Cake, and there won’t be a boat big enough to hold either of you!” Celestia mentally found herself deciding whether just to let gravity take hold and crush Discord and save herself the headache. Thankfully for Discord, her reputation and pride wouldn’t allow for such an unsightly act. “Just turn me back normal already!? I’ve already had Luna complaining about my cake consumption, the last thing I want is to give her any kind of validation.” Funnel Cake, completely ignoring the continued weight gain, went about shoving another piece of Cake in her mouth as she scoffed, “Awww, Luna just needs to let go and enjoy herself more.” “While I can agree my sister is still a tad high strung, I doubt I could ever convince her to come to a place like this and indulge herself,” Celestia muttered with a sigh, thinking back to her and her sister’s earlier, more playful years. Discord waved a hoof and snickered, “Maybe she would considering her current state.” The Princess’s eyes went wide, “Oh no, I completely forgot! She’s still a baby! I need to change her back!” “Oh, relax? She can be a baby for a few more hours.” Discord snickered, a thought bubble showing a still infant and visibly annoyed Luna appearing above his head. “Besides considering how bad your chaos magic is, you might make her smaller? Probably best not to take the risk.” Celestia seemed more than a little offended by the comment and immediately leaped to her feet. we're going to have a showdown!” “A showdown?”Discord laughed, immediately pulling a cowboy outfit out of thin air, “You really wanna do this? Right now.” He made sure to emphasize the now as Celestia struggled to stay upright as she hobbled to the other side of the bakery. Celestia stood on the other with her teeth gritted and shouted, “ That’s right, we're going to shoot chaos magic at each other and transform ourselves. Funnel Cake can decide who makes the crazier transformation...within reason, of course. It has to be something fun, nothing gross, disgusting, or perverted.” Discord tapped a hoof to his chin and gave a nod, deciding to toss away the cowboy outfit. “Eh, why now. Mrs. Funnel Cake, would you accept being our judge?” “Why, of course, I would be happy too!” Funnel Cake exclaimed, turning her seat around to watch the showdown. Discord planted his hooves firmly as did Celestia; the chaotic showdown was about to begin. “So, you think you seriously can beat me?” Discord asked, eying his opponent cautiously. “Not at all, this isn’t about winning or losing. I just want to prove to you I’m still in control and that the pony you knew from so long ago is still here..” “Alright, prove it to me!” The master of mischief shouted, bowing his head with his horns glowing. Celestia quickly followed suit, charging up her own horns before the pair blasted magic at each other with a glowing beam of light. The resulting blast was creating a small smoke screen that left the two would-be combatants and their judge blinded. As the Princess blinked as she found herself unable to move, she looked about, waited for the smoke to clear before she saw her reflection in a mirror. Needless to say, what she saw both shocked and, in a small way, delighted her. We're once there was a female draconequus, there now sat a cake with two big blue eyes, made of white frosting with pink icing outlining her form. And to top her off, were what seemed to be over a thousand pink and white striped birthday candles on her head. “A birthday cake?” The now pastry princess Celestia exclaimed, and then squealed at hearing her voice, somehow being able to talk despite not having a mouth. Then again, chaos magic, so it didn’t need to make sense. “I see you have lost your taste for irony Discord, though it would seem you aren’t as creative as you thought.” Celestia said...trying to look smug as she faced her equally transformed opponent. Like herself, Discord was now transformed into an equally delicious looking cake, though this was a double-decker,chocolate cake with little swirls of yellow surrounding each layer, with just as many brown and yellow striped candles on top. “So...I assume this is a tie…” Discord replied in an unsure tone, mildly miffed that his trick had been copied. “Not exactly!” Funnel Cake spoke, getting up from her seat and walking between the pair. “If nothing else, we should see who made the better Cake. It is a contest, after all.” While this sounded fine on paper, that did leave a minor hiccup, which Celestia Cake was quick to pick up on. “Wait, but wouldn’t that me….” “Now, I'm assuming it would be ok if I eat some of you?” The chubby mare asked with a look of worry on her face, completely interrupting the Princess whose cake body was now shivering with dread. Discord snickered as he exclaimed, “I don’t have a problem with it! I eat parts of myself all the time, so what’s the harm here?” “What!? You can’t be serious Discord, even for you that sounds so....weird,” Celestia whimpered, her mind not even being able to quantify the possible implications of letting even a tiny part of her being eaten in this state. “Oh come on, it’s not like she’s going to eat us whole! With our magic fixing, it will be a literal snap, and you did want this challenge anyway. Which reminds me.” The yellow icing on Discord’s cake body quickly slithered across and formed into a single eye focused on Celestia. “I see you decided to add a few more candles to my head, trying to one-up me?” .” “Oh please, between the two of us, we both know you’re older!” As the two continued to snipe at each other, they failed to notice Funnel Cake was drooling at the sight of sentiment cakes in front of her. For a baker and cake lover, it was like a fever dream that suddenly came to life. And sadly, it was one her resolve could not win against. Discord glared at Celestia’s head. “Alright, I'm counting the candles on your head don’t move!” “You don’t move either! I know you're older than me!” Celestia exclaimed. The two went about counting candles, and Celestia finally exclaimed, “ah-ha! You have one thousand five hundred and thirty-five!” “He-he-he sadly, you're at one thousand five hundred and thirty-six.” Discord exclaimed with a smirk on his face seeing he was a year younger. “You're wrong! I’m one thousand five hundred thirty-five and a half! You counted Wrong!” The Princess jeered only to grow stiff at the sound of something being unsheathed immediately. They were so distracted by their little debated neither noticed the chubby baker pulling out a cake slicer and took a piece from both of them. While the two sentient cakes were left to process that a part of themselves had just literally been cut off, the culprit was happily gobbling down both pieces with pure joy on her face. “I have to admit...Celestia...you taste better.” The Princess, seemingly over her initial shock, cheered. “Yes, I w-” “No, I win!” Discord laughed out loud and raised his body and replied, “You said the winner has the best transformation, not the best flavor. Us both turning into Cake was purely coincidental.” “Oh, haha! Very well, if you’re going to be a sore loser, we can go again. After I get my body back, of course,” The Princess cried out. The two stared at each other as the candles started to burn bright before they zapped each other again. In another flash of smoke and light, where there stood two cakes, now were Pinkie Pies or at least the same general look. Celestia had transformed into the same energetic party pony, but with white coat along with the bouncy pink mane and tail. Additionally, her cutie mark was still a sun, though now it looked plastic and blown up like a balloon with a string attached. The sight of this caused Discord to laugh out loud at sight, having successfully returned to his own body. Though he was more than willing to be a good sport and snapped a claw, his magic kicked in. His body turned into a brown coated, party mare with a bouncy, light buttery, yellow mane, and tail with those glowing yellow eyes and red irises. “Oh my goodness, two Pinkie Pies!?” Funnel Cake cried out in surprise and possibly panicked at the idea of two more hyperactive party ponies. Discord scoffed as he touched his new bouncy mane. “This is so frizzy!? Does she ever comb this thing?” To his surprise, his hand started to sink further into the puffy locks, and without even needing to snap his fingers, he started pulling all kinds of objects from his mane. Rubber chickens, party streamers, etc.… Celestia meanwhile was feeling a bit antsy, a growing innate desire to go out, find a bunch of random instruments and start to play them. Though there was still an issue, they needed to resolve. “So, how will we judge this time?” Funnel Cake immediately raised a hoof. “I know fire off your party cannons!? Whoever has the most streamers wins!” Celestia smirked, while probably not the best way to gauge their transformation, it was simple enough. Thus reaching into her mane, she immediately pulled out a party cannon with a color scheme similar to her’s. Discord quickly followed suit with his own and aimed it directly at her. Pulling lighting from her bottomless mane, Celestia lit the end of the top of her cannon, and with a smug grin on her face, she snickered, “You ready?” “Alright at the count of three...one...two...three.” Discord slammed the top of his cannon, and they both shot out a massive explosion of streamers and confetti. But, chaotic party planner’s cannon fired a bountiful barrage of brownies while Celestia’s cannon burst forth a bunch of birthday cakes. It was a complete blitzkrieg of baked goods. Amidst the battle of the ballistic baked goods, Funnel Cake took some of the smashed sweets into her mouth. Her mouth was immediately beset by a barrage of sugar and chocolate that threatened to knock her off her feet. Yet she was able to bear the taste long enough to decide a winner. “Oh, yes! Celestia wins this round! These brownies are so much more delicious than the Cake! An A + effort from you, Princess.” Discord crossed his hooves, currently covered in numerous chunks of chocolate, and scoffed, “Dang it! You know me too well! “Hehe, this was kind of random, but yeah, let's see what happens on our last round!” Celestia shouted as she and Discord then shot out their party cannons at each other, with another burst of smoke and light. Celestia blinked and, to her surprise, saw she was back to saw her old equine self, though with a bit more noticeable weight, particularly in the backside, which caused said Princess to blush. Though that blush quickly turned to shock when she saw that her plump posterior was make out of Cake. Indeed, in place of flesh and fur, was a body of white frosting, a cutie mark made of icing and a tail made of cotton candy. The new appearance caused more than a minor reaction from the Princess. “DISCORD! I thought we agreed not to do anything perverted! And how exactly is this creative anyway outside of a cheap joke?” “Whatever cake butt!” Discord laughed, utterly unbothered by his own transformed state. Unlikely, Celestia’s rather remarkable transformation, Discord was now a royal guard with a typical brown coated, and a buttery yellow mane like before. The most noticeable difference was that his armor was made of cookies, while his spear was a candy cane. By all accounts, it seemed the cackling trickster had managed to win this time, only for his chuckles to turn to coughs as various gumdrops began to fall out of his mouth, earning a small smirk of victory from Celestia. Funnel Cake, still utterly unfazed by what she’d seen, took one of the gumdrops and munched on it along with some of the cookie armor. Naturally, she followed up by preparing to take a bite from Celestia’s sugary backside, only for the Princess to beat her to the punch by quickly removing some of the icings from her back and hand it to the judge. After a few moments of munching and savoring the flavors properly, funnel Cake responded with a blush. "Um...while, Cake is quite good. I’m afraid that the cookie and candy combo is simply too much for me to ignore!” “Alright! I win!” Celestia squealed out in childish delight and laughed out loud as they were transformed back into their draconequus forms. “Oh please, you only win in the most basic sense. If anything, I’m true winner considering this whole day was to finally break you out of your shell,” Discord snapped. Impressively, rather than snap back at her companion Celestia instead flew up to him with a somewhat bashful look on her face. “Perhaps, I suppose I did come away from this experience with more than I thought.” Her admittance was enough to get a small look of pride from the master of chaos, forcing Celestia to turn her attention elsewhere quickly. Namely, the cake shop was covered from wall to wall in smashed, sugary sweets, and pulverized pastries. “...Well, let's get going if um... Mrs. Funnel Cake, I’ll let you know the details and send you a check for all the Cake we ate.” “It's quite alright! Honestly, this is the most fun I’ve had in years! We really should do this again sometime,” Mrs. Funnel Cake exclaimed out loud. As Celestia slowly flew out of the door with Discord happy to see the Princess finally being independent and being herself flying right behind her.