//------------------------------// // Let's start with a BANG // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// Please make sure the Formatting setting in the top right is set to "Dark", not "Light". Thank you. A/N: Okay, I'm going to try out some new formatting for this and future chapters. I'm only going to show this key once so pay attention. This color is what W is saying. This color is what B is saying. This color is what the narrator and other characters will speak in. Underlined links like this will indicate a link that I suggest opening in another tab. This color will mainly be reserved for Death Battle words like "Fight" and "K.O." A multicolor word will usually be reserved for special instances such as "Friendship." Other colors may appear for special occasions but they will be few and far between. All right, now that I've gotten the text heavy exposition out of the way, let's get started with... well, more text heavy exposition. This is a fan fiction after all. Properties used in this chapter belong to Hasbro, Screw Attack, and Nintendo. I gain no profit from this. --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For Season 2 (1) Hey, folks! Great to see you again. Well, technically I can't really see you but you know what I mean. Anyway, it's wonderful to see Season 3 of MLP:FiM up and running. I hope you're ready to see characters duke it out in the ring because that's what we're here for. Creatures of the sky that soar on wings like eagles fill the screen and change up with other pictures of winged beasts. There's no question that heaven and sky have been the canvases of the arts for generations. Today, I think we might just paint them red from our flying contestants. Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty... ... and Pit, captain of Heaven's army. I'm W and he's B and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. ---Death Battle--- The original face of the brony community appears in all seven of her glowing colors. Rainbow Dash -A loyal and steadfast friend -Pegasus pony -Bearer of the Element of Harmony: Loyalty -Can reach mach 5 and even mach 10 flight speeds -Has a need for speed and flight -Competitive and brash, arrogant and cocky -Sonic Rainboom, Buccaneer Blaze, Rainblow Dry, weather manipulation We're going to go ahead and assume that you missed this girl's previous Death Battles and give you a full rundown. A flight school dropout, Rainbow Dash has taken up work as Ponyville's weather manager. As a Pegasus pony in Equestria, she can naturally alter weather conditions. She can clear through clouds simply by hitting them or use their contents. She can utilize a cloud's lightning and precipitation and she can create tornadoes. It's a frigging girl horse toy on a frigging girl's show. I am not falling for it. Judging from the mach cone that appears around her at top speeds, she is able to penetrate the sound barrier. She easily reaches mach 5 while somehow not burning up from the resulting air resistance. After breaching mach 5, she can then use her signature technique: the Sonic Rainboom. It simultaneously breaks sound barriers and the visible light spectrum enabling Dash to fly at mach 10 speeds. The sheer vibrations from the Sonic Rainboom can split solid rock and shake mountains. It can even be used to the same effect as a nuclear bomb if used close enough to the ground. Though, living organisms are still alive after the shock waves pass them. Additionally, she also has a few other moves including the Buccaneer Blaze which is somehow able to create a bluish white explosion while off screen. She may be a bit forceful when talking to others and she's a bit of a sore loser. Hell, she cheated in a race for best athlete. Despite this, she's a caring friend that's willing to try and sympathize with a fellow pony that's feeling under the weather. I see what you did there. ... and she's willing to see loyalty in her pet tortoise Tank over another animal's physical qualities. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Why is a cartoon pony so awesome? "Danger is my middle name: Rainbow Danger Dash." ---Death Battle--- A boy with angel wings and a double-bladed sword takes the screen. Pit -Kid Icarus -Head of the Guard in Palutena's Army -Carries the Sacred Bow of Palutena which can split into two swords -Wields the Three Sacred Treasures: Arrow of Light, Mirror Shield, and Wings of Pegasus -Can fire homing, light-speed projectiles -Confident, fearless, humorous, reckless, naive, and good hearted Whew! That is one hot chick! Um, B? You do realize that Pit is a guy, right? Say what?! Long ago, the goddess of darkness Medusa was punished for drying up crops and turning people into stone. Palutena, the goddess of light, transformed Medusa into a monster before banishing her from Angel Land. Medusa got all pissed, teamed up with the Underworld, turned Palutena's forces into stone, and took over Angel Land. Having no other hope, Palutena turned to the warrior Pit and helped free him from the Underworld dungeon. She gave him a bow with a somehow limitless number of arrows. And after taking down enemies through Overworld and Skyland, Pit defeated Medusa and received new armor, an older body, and a kiss from Palutena herself. If he's already hit puberty, why does his voice still sound so high? Along his travels, Pit has collected the Three Sacred Treasures. The Light Arrows are the strongest ranged weapons in his arsenal, capable of piercing through any enemy. The Mirror Shield deflects enemy projectiles and can reflect Medusa's stone-cold glance. And the Wings of Pegasus allow Pit to fly for an indefinite amount of time. While he may be captain of Heaven's army, we're not letting him have his summon ability in this Death Battle. It's our show and we say "One-on-one means one-on-one". Pit may be good hearted and have a good sense of humor, but he tends to be recklessly overconfident and quite possibly has Thor's superiority complex. Which makes me like this guy all the more. "I'm not an intern. I'm a messenger of the gods!" ---Death Battle--- All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all. It's time for a Death Battle! ---Death Battle--- Rainbow Dash waits on a platform of clouds. She taps her hoof on the cloud impatiently. Finally in the distance, another winged figure decides to show up. "Sorry to keep you waiting!" hollers Pit as he takes a stand on the long patch of cloud. "Ready?" asks Rainbow Dash. FIGHT! Separating his bow, Pit raises his two swords and charges in for the first attack. With a quick reaction, Rainbow flaps her wings and narrowly avoids getting sliced. She then proceeds to fly around in a pattern of fast passes. Pit attempts to defend himself with the Mirror Shield. Despite this precaution, a flurry of seven-colored trails cause him to flinch and slide around on the cloud. Pit reattaches his blades into one piece and starts twirling it next to him. He lets out a familiar war cry. "Hyayaya!" Rainbow comes in for another pass but she gets knocked up by multiple hits from the bow. She somersaults backwards before flapping her wings to readjust her aerial position. She zooms off and starts racing around a group of clouds. After the clouds are spinning at speeds that Rainbow feels are satisfactory, she kicks each of them in toward Pit's position. Pit takes his bow and pulls back his other arm. He aims an arrow of light and fires it off. The camera cuts to the incoming clouds. We see each and every one of the clouds get dispersed by a light arrow piercing. "You're not ready!" he taunts. Grunting in frustration, Rainbow Dash dives in and uses the power that she can now use on command. Her Sonic Rainboom explodes and disperses all the clouds in Pit's general vicinity. However, he immediately responds by triggering his Wings of Pegasus. He hovers in the air with a smug look on his face. Rainbow turns around and attempts to deliver more kicks. Pit manages to counter and parry by dividing his bow back into blades. This clash of blows continues for the next few seconds. Suddenly, widescreen bars narrow the view that the audience can see before revealing a terrible event. Pit is too close in Rainbow's personal space... oh, and he seems to have sliced off the bone area attaching one of Rainbow's wings. Realizing that she barely has seconds, Rainbow bites hard into Pit's wing and aims herself as straight down as possible. At his awkward angle, Pit can only repeatedly swing the flat end of his blades against Rainbow's head. Unfortunately for both of them, this only encourages gravity to pull more on her body. The speck of land is growing larger now. Rainbow lands face first into the ground and- HOLY CRAP! That multi-colored explosion is huge! We can't see anything but smoke and debris flying everywhere. ... As the smoke finally dies out, the camera zooms in on the unmoving Rainbow Dash in the crater- "Oof!" What the? Pit just collided with the lens and he's falling out of the visual. "K.O.!" ---Death Battle--- I...I'm speechless. It was clear that Pit had the advantage in melee and ranged attacks early on. Rainbow may have more speed, but her impatience and rushing attitude made overcoming the strategist Pit impossible. Still, Pit made quite a few mistakes that prevented him from winning either. He tried using the Mirror Shield, but probably anyone could've told him that it's useless against non-ranged attacks. And his overconfidence blindsided him from seeing the possibility of Rainbow Dash taking desperate last-minute measures. Looks like Heaven and the weather team are going to need new captains. This Death Battle is a draw. ---Death Battle--- Next time on Death Battle... "I'm the T to the W-I-L-I-G-H-T and ain't no other pony troll it up like me. I'm Twilightlicious." Who could possibly try to best Princess Celestia's personal student in the way of literature? *chuckles* After all, he's only number 6. --- A/N: (sort of) Official rules for this and future Death Battles 1. One side of the battle must exist in the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic cartoon. Fan characters and OC will not be used unless there is enough irrefutable information that cannot be argued against. So OP ponies like Nyx and Alicorn Twilight Sparkle are disqualified. Facts about their abilities are a bit blurred. 2. One side of the battle must exist in a canonical outside source and/or be an actual person that has enough information that can be easily obtained and visualized. 3. Powers that have been given to a character in another fan fiction but not in the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic are not given to the characters in this particular work. I'd like these battles to be as "realistic" as possible. It's a sort of insurance that the battles are fair even in the face of biased opinions. 4. Pinkie Pie can break rule 3 whenever she wants. I cannot control that pony. She is so random that the walls with larger numbers than four are starting to show signs of wear and tear. Hi, every pony! Ugh. See what I mean? No control. 5. Certain chapters may suffer OOC, a rare disease that only affects stories that wish to provide humor in a way that may or may not actually be amusing to the audience. Viewer discretion is advised. Anyway, now that I've gotten the gist of the rules out of the way, I'm going to offer some friendly advice. If at any point you find yourself not liking the way I write this for any reason,... I recommend that you go do something else instead of wasting your time reading what you may very well be calling a piece of crap. I'm only human. I'm going to make mistakes every once in a while. It's an unavoidable outcome of writing. This kind of reading material isn't for everyone. Heck, it's going to describe deaths of our lovable cast of ponies from time to time. However, if occasional mistakes in the facts and the squirts of blood don't deter you, then carry on reading. I'm TundraStanza. Thank you for your time.