//------------------------------// // Togetherness with Twilight Sparkle // Story: Big Little Spoon // by Ice Star //------------------------------// There was something incredibly, ridiculously, and immensely incalculable to romance to Twilight Sparkle. She knew how to split a check. (Rarity and her covered things half-and-half.) Holding open the door for her partner (because there was always the outlier stallion to the many mares Twilight fancied) was an automatic gesture. Twilight Sparkle wasn’t sure if she could say she liked this effect of love; it was too soon to formulate a proper conclusion. Smiling and noting all that was said in the seesaw pattern of banter was a skill she had honed since arriving in Ponyville.  The ins-and-outs of intimacy were shaping up to be much more nerve-wracking. Twilight had been on her share of lunch dates since coming to Ponyville, but those never went anywhere beyond hoof-holding and pecks on the cheek. That wasn’t to say that Twilight Sparkle didn’t want more, she just needed that sense of predictability… ...and that her want for more of a romance came with less of everything that solidified any sense of security she had.  Twilight Sparkle tried to breathe through her mouth in the quietest way possible. She also tried her hardest to pretend that there weren’t a few drops of sweat collecting under her mane when Rarity nuzzled her.  She tried to let her mind blank. None of the memories of the (few) ponies she had been with in the past would be helpful. The why to that was just so obvious: none of them were Rarity.  None of them are Rarity, Twilight thought as the rest of her mind skipped to a stop. She sank next to Rarity on the bed and listened to her laughing. She tried to block out the thought of what-if... ...she had forgotten a breath mint? Or, at least a fourth one. She knew she had brushed her teeth exactly twelve times (the only acceptable number before dates) before she had gone out to meet Rarity.  ...her freshly washed bedspread was too juvenile? The stars were completely inaccurate and the misrepresentation of the cosmos never stopped bugging her. All that stopped her from replacing it was that she hadn’t ever brought anypony back to the library for a date before (sleepovers, however, were a very different story) and good quilts were hard to find. Would Rarity understand that was why she had such an annoyingly fanciful quilt?  (And really, weren’t all fictitious representations of the heavens bothersome? In the rare letters she exchanged with Princess Luna, the goddess never agreed with the sentiment. Twilight couldn’t explain why that bothered her so much.) ...Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders weren’t having fun this afternoon? Was the scavenger hunt she drew up for them not educational enough? Had she not hidden all the clues for them in the right places? Was there not enough algebra? (How anypony could have fun without even a little bit of math was beyond her.) She must have been rambling, and about the very things she had wanted to vanish from her loud, cluttered mind. What-if, what-if, what-if. Rarity was laughing along with Twilight like she had told a joke, and the gorgeous sound of it was absolutely overwhelming. Twilight Sparkle felt so small when she was basking in its lovely, clear sound. She was like Smarty Pants in the shadow of herself with Rarity, but so much better. Rarity knew that too. It was shining in her big blue eyes all the ways that there was more between them. Those eyes said they loved her, or at least they looked like they had love to Twilight. Cadance was always telling her that there was no one look to love but there were some facets of a look that could never be love, and would never be love. It was a wholly confusing thing, and Twilight Sparkle was left thinking it was better to imagine love made no sense whatsoever. There was one problem with that: Rarity made a lot of sense. Even with bits of dust in her mane from where they had been cleaning bookshelves together, Rarity was still so beautiful and… symmetrical in how she appeared to Twilight.  Twilight accepted Rarity’s nuzzle, wanting to be close to that melodic voice, and returned one of her own. The pile of cheesy romance novels that had been abandoned since they returned from lunch no longer claimed their attention. Instead, Rarity swept up Twilight in a hug, planting a kiss on her cheek, and they both fell back onto the bed together grinning happily.  Rarity had girlish giggles to share every time Twilight squeaked and let out a coughing gasp. The mare who prided herself on being delicately lady-like had a Minotaur’s grip when she wanted to show it. Twilight Sparkle was left to squawk through each constricting squeeze as Rarity pulled Twilight closer, peppering her with kisses. ... From the start of their relationship, two things were as plain as Princess Celestia’s power over the sun. The first was that Rarity was the tall girlfriend. Twilight Sparkle hadn’t done much comparison of the height between her, Rarity, and their other friends. Each of them was well within the realm of what was average for mares and the Equestrian population as a whole that aside from those on the slighter side, there was no need to keep track of anything. Pinkie Pie was the shortest, with Fluttershy as a diminutive second. Applejack was comfortable in the place of fourth tallest (or third shortest) and Twilight was comfortable to have Rarity be her tall girlfriend. Rainbow Dash could crow all she wanted about being the tallest of them all.  This had its advantages. Rarity could read over Twilight’s withers with ease when Twilight Sparkle couldn’t think of a laypony’s way to explain her books. It also gave Rarity an optimal place to style Twilight’s mane before all their outings. From her superior height, Rarity could also give Twilight Sparkle surprise smooches when her marefriend least expected it.  The second most important thing about their relationship was about their relationship-relationship. That was how all Twilight Sparkle’s romance novels implied serious social context without making their significant others feel alienated, so it only felt right that Twilight Sparkle should copy the sacred scripts of the experts. This second fact could only be addressed through the communication of two sub-facts:  Twilight Sparkle currently had the romantic capabilities of a half-eaten daisy sandwich. The last time she had anything close to a romantic relationship was time spent with Moondancer, which she never told anypony about.  Rarity had never been with a mare for more than a hoofful of dates. She had been honest to Twilight, that while she was her beloved purple girlfriend, a muse, and a treasure she still had always leaned more toward a prince than a princess.  All of this was a recipe for a low-key relationship. Rarity was not a low-key mare. In her bones were the whispers to do everything in the most absorbing, inspiring way possible. To make the first foray into a romantic relationship anything short of spectacular would be the actions of an anti-Rarity. This was the reason why Rarity was adamant that Twilight be the one to direct the careful first steps of easing them into the relationship, and eventually the rest of their friends. (’You could make flashcards!’ Rarity had insisted, her eyes shining. Twilight had a feeling that would be the only time Rarity would be excited about flashcards in their relationship.) Now, it wasn’t that Twilight was opposed to being the sort-of leader in anything, but to lead without orders baffled her. Wasn’t that how everypony did things? Finding herself as the big spoon didn’t come with instructions. Things that didn’t come with instructions had a distant, threatening feeling to Twilight Sparkle.  Even as she hugged Rarity close to her and pressed her cheek ever-so-gently into Rarity’s curls, she couldn’t help but think of anything but how cold her back was. Meanwhile, Rarity slept in her hooves, soundlessly, leaving Twilight Sparkle to be awake alone. ... Twilight Sparkle’s whole body was heavy with exhaustion. Her hooves were held slack under the blankets and she let their warmth sweep over her. None of it compared to the soft feeling of Rarity’s embrace, or the gentle touch of dark curls brushing against Twilight’s coat. Surely, being held by Rarity was the second warmest place, save for the surface of the sun… or the San Palomino Desert… or… a few other places, Twilight supposed. Applejack could enjoy the night of the annual reunion with her family. Rainbow Dash could enjoy her weather duties, and Pinkie Pie could have all the time with the Cakes. Fluttershy could garden and care for every creature that crossed her path. Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders could keep every bit of youthful fun they had. Everypony else could have the moments the days and seasons permitted spent how they liked, but Twilight Sparkle was certain she would never exchange a single second she spent with Rarity for anypony else in the world.