//------------------------------// // Mostly harmless // Story: The Seventh Sense // by LikeaSir //------------------------------// Well, this was awkward. Tenderhoof was uncomfortably close, leaning over me to stare deep into her Thaumometer. She smelt faintly of disinfectant. Her eyes were fixed, unblinking, on the silver orb. Its contents contracted, shuddered and began moving in a deeply disconcerting way. Tenderhooves' eyes widened slighty, and darted over to meet mine. The orb's weird, unnatural movements - they looked like I felt. I can't really do its description justice, but... here goes. You've all been to the seaside, right? Seen the waves? They go in, and out... crash up, and down - sometimes wash left. and right. Now... imagine that movement in four dimensions, slap it in a crystal ball, and shake it. That's pretty much what I was looking at. A beautiful, incomprehensible silver shape thrummed and splashed, as Tenderhoof moved it over me - tutting, nodding and jotting down the odd note on her clipboard. Thaumic shock... that's what she said, isn't it? I had absolutely no idea what she was going on about. And so I asked her. "...Hmm? Oh! Thaumic shock?" came her slow reply, as my question broke her focus. "When a magical creature is subjected to umm... magical turbulence, they experience Thaumic shock. It can be quite a nasty condition." She continued waving her Thaumometer above me. I lay silent for a moment, processing her answer. My voice cracked, as a strange panic bubbled within me, eating at my confidence. "Tenderhoof...? I'm not a magical creature..." She stared at me, switched her gaze to the churning silver orb and giggled lightly. "Yes you are". She patted the orb, grinning. "Thaumometers don't lie!" "No seriously, I'm not magic." I said; my tone tense. "Magic doesn't exist, and... well, I mean it does? But only in stories and stuff. It's not real" I finished weakly, realising the irony in my statement, as I waited for the talking horse to reply. "Well..." uncertainty coloured her voice "Your aura is definitely irregular. I've never seen anything quite like it." Slowly, she withdrew the orb, and, turning her back to me, placed it delicately back amongst her (horrifying) medical instruments. Turning back around, clipboard in hoof, she brandished an obnoxiously large quill at me. "Sighhgh huyh tleesh." she slobbered, tapping the quill on a dotted line near the bottom of her clipboard. Wow... I... didn't really know how to respond to that. I gingerly took the quill, now covered with horse dribble. "Sorry I uuh... didn't quite catch that? Come again?" "On the dotted line? Sign there please." came Tenderhooves' swift reply. Shaking some of the dribble off the quill, I cast an eye over my paperwork. Near the top, it read - 'Species: Papio horribilis'. "...Fucking WOW Tenderhoof, that's a bit harsh. Horrible baboon? Fuck me..." I muttered. "What was that?" she smiled sweetly. "Nothing...nothing...grumble grumble I will get you back for that. I will sneak into your bedroom, and slip a turd under your duvet." I signed my name on the paperwork, as requested, and returned Tenderhooves' moist quill. She shuffled off, trolley in tow, and left me there sat on the table, twiddling my thumbs. My head still throbbed, and my stomach still felt like I'd swallowed a live terrier. All in all, my situation had not improved. Oh, and Tenderhoof had taken my bathrobe and pyjama bottoms away. The flimsy hospital gown she'd left me with was very... liberating... I guess? But I really don't want the world to see my twig and berries every time the wind picks up. And I'm pretty sure my arse hangs out the back of it, wind or no. I'd have to remember to ask for my actual clothes back. I stood up, and pottered phlegmatically about the room. I was on another world, inhabited by at least one talking horse. Honestly, I was struggling to find the energy to give a damn about my predicament. After all, it didn't seem TOO bad here. Decent weather... decent views too, from what I can remember. Nothing to complain about really, bar the perpetual hangover. My mind wandered, as I stared blankly at a particularly enthralling patch of wall. "I'm baaa-aaaack!" came the singsong voice of Tenderhooves, trolley clattering along behind her. I jolted from my reverie, turning peevishly to acknowledge her with a half hearted wave. "Hiya Tenderhooves. You uuh... got my clothes still?" "I sure do!" God she was enthusiastic... "Got em right here, freshly laundered!" she patted her trolley, and sure enough, there they were! I was genuinely a little taken aback by her thoughtfulness. "Blimey, thank you! That's really good of you nurse, I appreciate it!" "Oooh, it's no problem at all! There was enough room for me to stick em' in alongside the soiled animal bedding Nurse Sugarsnap was laundering" came her happy reply, as she plopped my clothes into my waiting arms. My appreciation dimmed slightly. "How uuh... heavily soiled are we talking here?" "Would you like me to take the hospital gown back now?" Asked Tenderhooves, slipping my question expertly. I harrumphed, and ducked behind a convenient curtain to get changed. "Hey..." I said, hesitantly, as a thought occurred "What's this Thaumic shock going to do to me then?" I peeped around the curtain, bracing myself for the worst. "I have absolutely no idea." She beamed at me. Fuck... I'd braced myself the wrong way.