//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Lunch Time of Terror // Story: Paranoid Pink // by Scholarly-Cimmerian //------------------------------// The lunch bell couldn’t have rung any sooner. As the students filed into the cafeteria, Pinkie Pie was nearly dancing with anticipation – or rather, was on the verge of tipping over from hunger. The poor girl’s stomach was growling loudly and plaintively, and she was keen to load up and fill it as soon as possible. Pinkie stood on tiptoe for a moment, sniffing the air hopefully; whatever was cooking today, it smelled good… And then Pinkie got a look at one of the entrees that Granny Smith was serving up, and the party lover *felt* her stomach do a backflip. “Wh-what’s that?” “Spaghetti in some newfangled vegetable sauce!” Granny answered, as she hooked a big ladleful of thick pasta noodles that were soaking in a greenish glaze, and carefully dribbled it onto Pinkie’s plate. “S’posed to be some sorta new health food push or so’s ah’ve been told… here hon, you look paler than a newborn calf under a full moon! Take just a teeny bit more.” “Thank you,” Pinkie squeaked almost inaudibly, trying not to wince as she watched the noodles spill from Granny’s ladle onto her bowl. A stray rope of pasta flopped over the side, and Pinkie felt her stomach practically whimper at the thought of what the sight reminded her of… Moving robotically, Pinkie continued down the line, collecting as many side dishes as she was allowed to, before finally going to join the other Rainbooms at their usual lunch table. The other girls, who’d been chatting amicably, quieted as Pinkie Pie nearly dropped her tray down on the tabletop, sat down without a word and began to gnaw without energy on her dessert cupcake. “Oh dear…” Fluttershy said in concern. “What’s the matter, Pinkie?” Sunset Shimmer asked. “Nmmffngg,” Pinkie mumbled around a mouthful of frosting, spraying crumbs on the table while Rarity flinched in dismay. “Pinkie Pie, ah can *tell* that ain’t true,” Applejack stated, “C’mon partner, just tell us what’s wrong. T’ain’t at all like ya to be this way.” “Yeah Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash added, “So just tell us what’s eating you!” Pinkie nearly gagged on her latest bite of muffing, and then coughed rapidly. “What do you *mean*, what’s been eating me, huh?” Rainbow Dash put up her hands placatingly, “Whoa whoa whoa! Chill out Pinkie, I didn’t mean anything by it!” “It’s just an expression, Pinkie Pie,” Twilight added, trying to play mediator. “Oh really, Twilight Sparkle?” Pinkie rounded on her next, glaring intently at her. “Is that aaaall it is, huh? If Twilight is even *who* you really are…” An uneasy silence fell over everyone, before it was finally broken by Rarity smartly clapping her hands together. “So!” the fashionista declared, “Why don’t we all just focus on our lunches, hmm? After we’ve all had some food, I’m sure we can talk this out like rational human beings. Does that sound good to you, Pinkie darling?” “Hmph!” Pinkie huffed, giving Rarity the stink eye for a tense moment, before relenting, and the girls all settled down and began to eat. Pinkie Pie devoured every other food item on her tray but refused to even so much as *look* at the noodles in veggie sauce before her. Applejack noticed this right away but didn’t speak up just yet. Rainbow Dash finally noticed, and did speak up. “What’s the matter, Pinkie? You haven’t even, like, touched those noodles.” “Yeah, sugarcube, an’ after Granny gave ya extra too!” Pinkie’s mouth twisted into a stubborn frown. “Don’t like the sauce,” she finally muttered, the lie being obvious to everyone. Rainbow and AJ exchanged looks, before Dash shrugged and looked back to Pinkie. “Well in the case… mind if I eat ‘em?” Pinkie looked like she was torn between wanting to accept and to accuse. Finally acceptance won out and she gingerly slid her tray over to the sporty girl, who swiftly took her fork, stuck it into the noodles, vigorously twirled it around and began to rapidly chow down. Rarity winced at Rainbow Dash’s sloppy table manners. “Honestly Rainbow Dash, you are such a messy eater,” she scoffed, “It’s not a *race*, darling.” “Mmph,” Rainbow answered eloquently, as she shoveled another forkful, positively trailing noodles, into her mouth. “Iff goodf Pinkee!” She loudly slurped up a stray noodle hanging from her mouth, and chuckled sheepishly as Fluttershy handed her a napkin; there was a good-sized drip of green sauce running down one side of her mouth. “Uhh, Pinkie?” Sunset Shimmer suddenly asked. “Do you need to see the nurse?” Rainbow and Rarity glanced over and were taken aback to see that the color had almost completely drained out of Pinkie Pie’s face, and she had a hand over her stomach. “it’s nothing,” she squeaked in a whisper that would have made Fluttershy sound bold and assertive. “You *sure* about that, Pinkie?” Applejack asked, skeptical. “Yes!” Pinkie squeaked in a shrill voice. She suddenly stood up, eyes darting over towards the door. “I j-j-just need to, uhh, g-get some dessert for my tum-tum—” “I can do that for ya!” Rainbow Dash stood up too, “You just take it easy Pinkie, I’ll take care of ya!” And before Pinkie (or any of the others) could begin to voice an objection, Rainbow had sped off to the dessert section of the line and then had zoomed back, whereupon she proudly offered her chosen dish to the party planner. “Here ya go Pinkie! Enjoy!” Pinkie’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head, and her mouth opened and closed several times in horror as she could only stare at the innocently offending item, red and moist and jiggling cheerfully on its plate. Then her stomach gurgled ominously, and she squeaked, “excuse me,” and ran out of the cafeteria at a pace that Rainbow Dash would have been hard-pressed to match on her best day at the track. Silence was left in Pinkie’s wake, with more than a few of the Rainbooms looking in disapproval at Rainbow Dash. “What?” The sporty girl answered defensively, “I thought she loved the cafeteria’s cherry jello!” Pinkie Pie lurched out of the bathroom stall and over to the sink, where she nearly collapsed against it, gasping for breath. She feebly turned on the cold water tap, and began to scrub her face once more, and then rinsing out her mouth with a handful of water as well. “Bleh…” Pinkie groaned to herself after she was done, giving her reflection a morose look. The girl in the mirror had the appearance of a madwoman. Her hair had become even more distressed, if that was possible, and her eyes were bloodshot and wide; this, with her still pale skin, made the usually effervescent girl look more like a drug addict than the head of Canterlot High’s Fall Formal planning committee. “Pinkie Pie?” “I SURRENDER!!!” she shrieked, thrusting her arms into the air. “Pinkie, it’s just me!” Pinkie slowly turned around. “Oh… hey Sunset. When’d you get in here?” Sunset Shimmer looked at her with a sad smile. “Pinkie, why don’t you just tell us what’s bothering you?” she asked gently. “Bothering me?” Pinkie’s eyes widened, then narrowed. “N-no! Nothing’s b-bothering me. Nope, nope, nope! Nothing at all!” She giggled very nervously, staring at Sunset with a fixed grin on her face. “Pinkie,” Sunset said soothingly, “We’re your friends. You can tell us anything. We’re just worried that H’sshz byzz klk-kl’ak ikk bzzrsh hzss-hrrk klick-klokk.” Pinkie Pie stared at her, eyes wide and her expression one of dazed horror. “Pinkie?” Sunset asked, worried. Pinkie closed her eyes firmly, rubbing them for a second, before she opened them once more and stared blearily at Sunset. “I’m sorry, Sunset… could, could you run that by me again?” “…Sure,” Sunset answered cautiously. “I said, we’re just worried that—" Sunset’s face suddenly split open and the fanged, bug-eyed changeling face beneath leered at Pinkie, slime dripping from its mouthparts. “I’khh akk bzz’rrk hsszz vrr-kl’k kl’rt ikk-uck, Pyn-kee Pyyye…” the changeling hissed at her in a voice like sewer water gurgling through rusted old pipes… “…And we just want to make sure that you’re not feeling sick or anything. Okay?” Sunset finished softly, her expression full of concern; why was Pinkie staring at her like that? Pinkie nodded at her, eyes wide and unblinking. “Uh-huh, that’s what I thought you said,” she said in a trembling voice, “And here’s what I’d like to say in return…” And she sucked in her breath, and then let out an earsplitting scream of terror. Sunset flinched in startled disbelief as Pinkie ran, still screaming, from the bathroom. Pinkie’s scream was cut off for a second as she crashed into Applejack, who along with Rarity had come to wait by the bathroom to see Sunset’s talk with Pinkie was going. “Whoa! Pinkie Pie, what the heck?” “NO! Stay back, I’m warning you!” Pinkie screeched in fear, stumbling away from the two girls. She pulled a familiar little can out and shook it threateningly, “I’ve got sprinkles and I’m NOT afraid to use them!” Rarity put up her hands placatingly. “No one wants to hurt you, dear! Just tell us what’s wrong!” she beseeched the pink girl. The two changelings were swiftly joined by a third, the one that Pinkie had just fled from. The new arrival screeched something to the other two, and then the three monstrous aliens all began to approach her. They were trying to circle around her, cut off her escape! “No!” Pinkie wailed, “Don’t eat me! I’ll give you cavitieeeees!” She forced her way around them, and took off running, waving her arms frantically as she continued screaming her head off. “Someone, catch her!” Sunset called, but before she or Rarity or Applejack could run to try and corner the screaming pink girl, the end-of-period bell rang loudly… and Pinkie stopped cold in horror as the cafeteria doors opened and the students within swiftly filed out and into the halls. “Sweet candy corn… they’re everywhere!!” Pinkie’s voice rose to a hysterical pitch, and she took off down the hallway, screaming more than ever. Her freak-out drew many baffled, concerned looks from her fellow students, none of whom had *ever* seen Pinkie Pie act this crazy before. “What the heck! Why’s Pinkie screaming like that?” Rainbow Dash ran over to Sunset. “I don’t know, but come on, we’ve got to help her!” “Right!” Rainbow Dash clutched her geode, activating it, and then took off in a blur. She zoomed down the hallway and grabbed Pinkie by one arm; the pink girl shrieked in surprise, thrashing, but was slowed down enough for Applejack to run over and grab her other arm. “C’mon, Pinkie, let’s just get ya away from any pryin’ eyes…” “No! NO!!” Pinkie cried as they nearly dragged her into the school library, the other Rainbooms quickly following them inside. “Don't take me to the hive! I want to live!!” The doors burst open a second later as Pinkie came sprinting back out, but Applejack caught her in a tackle, nearly dragging her back inside the library. “I WANNA LIIIIVE!!” The party planner’s scream carried through the wall. Pinkie Pie was unceremoniously plopped into a chair, and she winced as Applejack, Rainbow Dash and the other girls all gathered around her. “Alright Pinkie,” Rainbow said sternly, “What the heck is going on with you, huh?” “Why do you think we want to, um, eat you?” Fluttershy asked, sounding very hurt indeed. “We would never do anything like that!” Pinkie’s lip quivered uncertainly as she looked from one friend’s face to another’s, and while she had stopped screaming, there was still that raw, frantic edge to her voice as she went off: “Oh sure, that’s what they said last night too! ‘We’re your friends’ and ‘We’d never hurt you!’ And then right after that, they hold you down and take turns eating all your insides! And then they peel your skin off and wear it as a disguise so they can replace you and nobody notices until it’s too late!” Rarity gaped at her, before making a noise of mingled horror and disgust. “Oh! Wherever would you get such a horrid set of notions, Pinkie Pie?” “Pinkie…” Sunset said firmly, “Who is ‘they’?” Pinkie lunged out of the chair and grabbed her by the front of her vest, “Don’t try to confuse me with your mind tricks, you alien bug monster you!” Applejack pried her off Sunset and plopped her back into the chair. “Aliens?” Rainbow Dash asked, disbelief practically dripping from her voice, “Is that what this is all about?” “Bug monsters?” Sunset asked. Twilight had pulled out her cell phone and was typing rapidly on it. “You mean like this?” she asked, holding it out for Pinkie to see. The other girls crowded around too, looking intently at the images on the screen – ranging from an eerie, minimalist poster for Dawn of the Changelings to pictures of the titular monsters themselves, tall and hideous and very bug-like. “Oh, Pinkie…” Rarity sighed as she drew back and then looked down at Pinkie, shaking her head regretfully, “Did you stay up late last night and watch those dreadful movies?” Pinkie’s eyes began darting around the room again, providing the fashionista with all the answer she needed. Rainbow Dash groaned in exasperation. “Aww, Pinkie… I can’t believe you decided to watch Night of the Changelings on your own! That’s a pretty hardcore movie, you gotta know your limits!” “Zephyr Breeze watched one of those movies once,” Fluttershy said softly, “He didn’t sleep at *all* that night. Of course, that might have been because he was nine then and had snuck out of bed to catch it without our parents knowing.” She huffed in annoyance. “I swear, he can be such a pain…” “I’ve only seen the original,” Twilight mused, “Shining Armor and I watched it a few years ago. It was pretty good – and scary too.” “Y’all are gettin’ off-topic here!” Applejack brought her hands up like a referee, as she looked down at Pinkie Pie, who was now huddled in the chair with a mutinous look on her face. “Pinkie Pie, sugarcube, it was only a movie. None ‘a that stuff happened. And none of it ever will! ‘Cause there ain’t no such thing as ‘changelings’!” Pinkie scowled up at her. “How can you tell me that there’s no such thing as anything, Applejack – if you even ARE Applejack,” she added suspiciously as the farm girl rolled her eyes, “When Sunset Shimmer’s a unicorn from another dimension, and we’ve faced all manner of other magical bad guys!” A pensive mood suddenly came over her, and she quietly mused to herself, “I wonder if any of them were really changelings… I wouldn’t put it past those Siren girls, that’s for sure…” The Rainbooms all stared at her for a moment. Finally, Rainbow Dash said, “Wow… you really need to get some sleep, Pinkie.” “I DON’T NEED ANY SLEEP!!” Pinkie screeched at her, now looking quite insane, “I am perfectly fine!! I can’t go to sleep, because the changelings will definitely get me then!!” “Pinkie Pie!” Applejack groaned, “How many times do we gotta tell ya, there ARE no darn changelings! An’ if ya won’t take MY word for it, then let’s ask the magical expert in the room!” She put an arm around Sunset – who had been rather quiet since seeing the pictures from Twilight’s phone – and said firmly, “Go on now, Sunset. Tell Pinkie Pie that there are absolutely no bug creatures out there that can impersonate anybody!” … “Sunset?” Applejack asked, after a few moments of uneasy silence from the former unicorn. “We’re all waitin’ on ya here.” Sunset Shimmer took a deep, careful breath. “Oh boy…” she sighed. A few minutes later, the library doors burst open, and six of the Rainbooms came stumbling out amidst a cloud of glittery pink smoke, all of them coughing and gagging. When the smoke had finally cleared somewhat, Applejack fixed Sunset with a hard and angry stare. “Why didja tell her that there WERE changelings in Equestria?” she demanded. “I’m sorry, I was going to explain everything to her!” Sunset snapped back at her, “And it’s not like I could have known that she’d pull a smoke bomb out of her hair!” “Well, you could have lied to her!” Rainbow Dash chimed in. “At least until she was a little *less* crazy!” “Girls, please!” Fluttershy asserted herself, standing between the bickering two members of the group, “We can settle this later. Right now, we need to find Pinkie before she really gets herself into trouble!” For a moment, it still looked tense between Applejack and Sunset. But then they both backed off and exchanged apologies. “Sorry ‘bout that.” “I’m sorry too, Applejack.” Fluttershy smiled in approval. “Where do you think we should start?” Rarity asked. “There’s a whole school to search, and that’s a lot of ground to cover…” “I have a plan,” all eyes turned to Twilight Sparkle. “First, Rainbow Dash, you go tell the principals what’s going on. Then you and Fluttershy go check out the upstairs part of the school. Sunset and Rarity can check out the downstairs. And Applejack and I can scope out the grounds in case Pinkie tries to head somewhere else.” Sunset smiled in approval. “Good plan, Twilight.” “Let’s all have our phones ready,” Rarity added as a suggestion, “Poor Pinkie’s in such a state as it is, we should all have some kind of way to contact the others just in case… well, one of us runs into her alone, and she thinks we’re out to get her.” The Rainbooms all winced at the implications of what she had just said. “Oh no…” Fluttershy said sadly, “Pinkie Pie wouldn’t hurt anybody… would she?” “That’s what we’re gonna try an’ prevent, Fluttershy!” Applejack said firmly, “Now c’mon girls, let’s move out!” “Yeah!” Quickly, the six girls split up and set off to carry out their search… None of them noticing the one recycling bin that was normally by the trash can, but was now for whatever reason sitting by the drinking fountain. The lid slowly opened and lifted up, a pair of bloodshot blue eyes peering out resolutely. “They’re onto me,” Pinkie whispered to herself, eyes narrowing to slits. “I need to level the playing field before they catch up to me… I need to figure out a game plan… I need—" “Uh, Pinkie Pie? Why are you like, talking to yourself in the recycling?” Pinkie shot up, whipped around sharply at who had just spoken to her, and then screamed in fright and took off running out of sight. Silver Spoon blinked in confusion. Diamond Tiara shook her head and gave her a disapproving look. “I told you that new jacket was hideous,” she said reproachfully. Pinkie Pie threw open the door and ran inside, before slamming it shut behind her and bracing herself against it, panting for breath. After a moment of nothing happening, no slavering aliens pounding and beating against the wood, she gingerly stood up and peered out the glass, before ducking down in time to avoid Sunset and Rarity as they passed by. “Pinkie Pie!” she heard the fashionista (or the changeling wearing her face) call out, “Come on out darling! We’ve got sugar for yooou!” Pinkie was tempted for long hard minute, but she held firm and shook her head rapidly. “No!” she told herself firmly, “No Pinkie, you can’t give in like this! You’ve got to be tough! You’ve got to find out what their plan is! You’ve got to—" “Pinkie Pie?” “Gah!” For the second time, Pinkie startled violently and whipped around, but she did not scream and run away. Her eyes locked onto the boy with blue hair, sitting innocently with his guitar on his lap in the music room of Canterlot High. Flash Sentry frowned in concern at her. “What’s wrong, Pinkie? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” Pinkie didn’t say a word. She just stared intensely at him, doing some very rapid thinking. *Click.* “Pinkie?” Flash asked, now seriously worried. “Wh-why did you lock the door just now?” His eyes widened. “And where did you get that rope?” His face went pale and he backed up in fright. “Please, Pinkie, I can’t miss class today, I’ve got a history test!” For a few seconds, there was the sound of a colossal struggle inside the music room. And then, all was quiet once more in the halls of Canterlot High…