Lunch with the Cutie Mark Crusaders - now the Cutie Mark Counselors, as they were popularly known - had been good. Hanging out with the three mares made Cozy feel... normal. As close to normal as she could gather, anyway, judging by watching other creatures hanging out. The pegasus had been worried, afraid that some of her darker traits would show through and drive the mares away from her, that they'd think she was weird or otherwise repulsive, but quite the opposite happened.
They found her endearing and likable, even when she let slip with the occasional dark humor.
"Honestly, you're not that bad, Cozy," Sweetie Belle was giggling. "Your jokes are pretty tame, actually."
"Scootaloo's are tasteless," Apple Bloom chimed in, "and Sweetie's? Why, she can say things that'd make a sailor's ears burn!"
"I try," the unicorn had a proud smirk on her face as she stirred her drink with her straw.
"Hey now, how are my jokes tasteless?" Scootaloo demanded.
"Dead foal jokes?" Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow.
"I haven't told a dead foal joke in... a month, at least," the orange pegasus rolled her eyes. "At least Sweetie and I have a sense of humor. What jokes do you tell besides apple puns?"
"That's fair, I reckon," Apple Bloom shrugged.
"So, Cozy Glow," Sweetie Belle decided it was time to finally learn more about their new friend, "what have you been up to? I've only heard a little bit from Apple Bloom. I don't think we've ever said more than three words to each other since... well, you know."
"Don't remind me..." Cozy stared at the leftovers on her plate before answering. "Well, I guess it started with when I went back to Tartarus, this time with new cellmates..."
Cozy filled them in on the time she'd spent since Discord's botched plan to present the Elements of Harmony with a difficult challenge in order to build their confidence. For some reason, she felt comfortable enough around the three of them to simply spill her guts, to let loose with her life's story, and they sat there patiently, faces sympathetic or interested, never once shooting her a dirty look.
She told them about Tartarus, about Sombra's rages and Chrysalis' toxic spite. She told them about Tirek's manipulations and her own petty cruelties. They were done for, trapped for eternity, turning on each other while stewing in their failures. Within a few weeks, even Sombra's madness relented and they'd all fallen silent. A few days after their rage broke, they began talking, and slowly built the beginnings of friendships they swore they'd never submit to. Finally, nearly half a year after being put back in Tartarus, the trials began.
They'd been separated, assigned counselors, offered ways out. Chrysalis and Sombra had been assigned to Princess Cadance, though eventually Chrysalis was handed off to Twilight due to the increasingly complicated romantic situation developing between the rulers of the Crystal Empire and the former despots. Celestia and Luna both took on Tirek as a charge, cautious in the extreme. Starlight Glimmer took Cozy Glow as her charge, and the filly had honestly felt more than a little insulted.
She had nearly destroyed the entire world, and aided three of the most powerful villains in all of Equestria's history in the conquest of that pathetic nation, and while the others were being counseled by powerful alicorn princesses, who was she given as a jailor? A no-name unicorn, a former despot of some backwater village no one knew or cared for. At least, those were her initial thoughts.
...
"You're better than this, Cozy."
The mare's words had bit into the filly's psyche deeper than she cared to admit. Cozy looked at her hooves chained to the table rather than at the face across from her, brimming with affection and sympathy. Pity, she tried to convince herself.
"I am better than this," the pegasus gave an ugly, psychotic smirk. She was dirty, the curls of her blue mane undone from months in prison, her face sallow and pale from the harshness of Tartarus' surroundings and a lack of sunlight. "I'm better than all the ingrates of this world! I should be allowed to rule; not some shut-in bookworm obsessed with friendship!"
"Where are you from, Cozy?" Starlight asked. The question caught Cozy Glow offguard, her face going slack before she could help herself. "Where is your family?"
"I don't have a family," the pegasus snorted at the absurdity. "I never needed one before. They make ponies weak, tie them down with sentamentality, keep them from reaching their full potential."
"You're an orphan?"
"My parents didn't die, they-" the filly stopped herself, realizing she'd slipped up and revealed more than she intended. Worse, she felt an old ache fill her, something she thought she'd purged from herself. She gathered herself with a shaky breath. "Why do you care? You didn't ask any of this the first time you locked me up."
"That wasn't my decision."
"You didn't try and stop them."
"You're right," Starlight's voice was heavy with regret and the filly couldn't help but look into her eyes. The emotion was raw and genuine, and Cozy found herself softening a little. "I should have said something then. Instead, I stood by and did nothing. But I'm doing something now."
"By following your precious princesses' orders?" Cozy sneered.
"Actually, they're following my suggestion."
Cozy stared at the new headmare of the School of Friendship, disbelieving.
"It's true," Starlight continued. "I insisted that imprisonment wasn't a good solution. I insisted that we could reform each of you, that you could all be saved."
"Saved..." Cozy turned away, feeling... feeling something coil unpleasantly in her stomach. She might have called remorse if she were capable of such a thing. "I'm supposed to believe that you - a former student counselor - convinced four of the most powerful creatures on the planet to waste their time and energy teaching us the value of friendship?"
"It's not a waste of time, Cozy," Starlight argued. "You are not a waste of time."
"Stop talking like that!" the filly snapped, slamming her hooves on the table. This wasn't good. Starlight's words were making her feel things she hadn't felt in years, bringing up painful memories, making her feel vulnerable. "I know what you're doing! I've done it plenty of times before!"
"What?"
"You're trying to manipulate me," Cozy laughed, half-crazed, "trying to convince me that you care, so you can get me to behave and be a good little filly! But it won't work. I know what ponies are really like, what those disgusting creatures are like, too!"
Starlight said nothing, studying the filly with a level expression. That enraged Cozy more.
"You'll turn on us as soon as we're an inconvenience!" she spat, hearing her voice break. "Oh, you'll act all high and mighty now, preaching how you can save us, but when you see we don't want to change, you'll throw us away! You'll give up and lock us away, because if we can't be what you want us to be, then we can't exist at all! You'll abandon us!"
That last part slipped out without conscious thought and Starlight's eyes widened. The filly felt herself starting to cry, more out of frustration for losing her composure. The tears blurred her vision and she began to sob in earnest, venting years of suppressed emotions. She heard a faint click and felt pressure being relieved from her hooves. Opening her eyes and wiping the tears away, she saw that she was unchained. Blinking in surprise, she looked up at Starlight standing over her.
"I will counsel you, Cozy Glow," she said, her voice soft and kind, "I will do everything in my power to help you see the light of friendship, to learn about kindness and generosity. I'll show you my honesty and my loyalty by never giving up on you."
"You want something..." Cozy narrowed her eyes. A guilty expression crossed Starlight's face then, the mare avoiding her gaze for a moment. "I knew it. What do you want?"
"It's entirely up to you, but..."
"Spit it out, already!"
"I will be your counselor if you want," Starlight took a breath, "but I would like... I want to be more than that for you."
Cozy's confusion showed on her face.
"As I said, you don't need to agree, I'll still counsel you anyway. I'll never give up on you even if you turn it down," the mare assured her. "I want to adopt you."
Cozy reeled, astounded. Her mind tried to cook up scenarios wherein Starlight benefited from adopting her, but nothing made sense. There was no reason, no rationale, nothing to motivate making a crazed criminal filly an adopted daughter.
"What kind of game are you playing, lady?" Cozy let out in a hysteria-tinged voice. "Golly, even I'm not this twisted! You want me to be your... your..."
"Daughter," Starlight gave a half-smile, the sincerity in her expression all but flooring the filly. "You don't have to; I'll still help you through all of your problems, help you make friends, help you build strong and lasting relationships and work through your darker emotions. I used to be a lot like you when I was your age, and seeing you locked up, it doesn't sit right with me."
"You're nothing like me."
"I used to be. I once misunderstood something natural, and spent my whole life trying to control it, trying to seek power," Starlight had a distant look in her eyes. "For me, it was cutie marks; for you, friendship. The only difference I can see is I had ponies who never gave up on me; all you had were Equestria's worst villains."
"I don't want to be your daughter," Cozy spat.
"That's probably best," the mare sighed heavily. "I'd probably be a terrible mom anyway. I didn't really have one growing up. The closest thing I have to a mom is Twilight, if you can believe that - a female role-model who showed me a better path."
"You gave up power and dominance for what?" Cozy scoffed. "Friendship?"
"Love," Starlight returned her attention to the filly. "Friends, family, and... well, romantic."
"Gross," the filly gagged. After a moment of silence, she couldn't help but ask, "And if I was your daughter, you'd just love me? Just accept me, unconditionally?"
"Warts and all," Starlight nodded, "but I'd still expect you to behave and learn from the lessons I teach you, and I would still be your counselor, trying to show you the true meaning of friendship."
"Why do I need to accept your way? Why can't the world accept mine?"
"Because most creatures don't want to be treated like subjects, or live in a society where getting to the top is the only thing of meaning," Starlight explained carefully. "Creatures need something more to believe in. What would you even accomplish becoming the sole ruler of the world? What would you get out of it? Everyone would resent you. You'd be alone, hated, and ruling over a world of pain and misery."
"I should be respected for my inherent value! I am worthy of being ruler of the world!" Cozy ranted.
"The worth of a leader is determined by the creatures she leads," Starlight countered. "If you lead the way you wanted, how would history remember you? You'd just be another despot to overthrow. Do you really want to be like Sombra? Insane from powerlust, unable to think of anything but the next conquest? Or Chrysalis? A parasite who needs to steal love, deposed and forsaken by her own hive? What do you actually gain? Power you'll be paranoid of losing, which will never be enough to sate your appetite. And what do you even do with that power except flaunt it? Ironically, you'd be the most powerful creature in the world, and equally the most pathetic."
Cozy floundered for a moment, mouth working furiously without words to fill it. She had no retort for that analysis, and worse it was all true. She was still trying to regain her footing when Starlight continued.
"I could show you a way where you will be respected for your inherent value," she spoke softly. "Not power you stole. Not the fear you can invoke. They'll respect you for your character, your moral fiber, and your kindness. Your loyalty. Your honesty, generosity, and the way you can make others laugh. You could be surrounded by creatures who care about you, who you can trust, and lean on for support."
"...and you really want me as a daughter?" Cozy gave a mirthless laugh, one final, weak noise of defiance. "I'd be... pretty difficult to handle... being a crazed felon and all."
"I've dealt with my fair share of crazies and felons," Starlight laughed. "I would be proud to call you my daughter because I see the world has wronged you, just as it has wronged so many foals. More than that, it's because I see so much potential in you."
Cozy felt her breath hitch. She had agreed to Starlight's counseling, but aggressively resisted the offer for adoption. Months passed in therapy, with Cozy working through stages, going through outbursts while Starlight merely weathered them, talking her through the tangled web of emotions that tortured her. After about a year, Cozy was stable enough to leave the facility unsupervised, though she preferred to only leave with Starlight. She hung out with her fellow reforming villains, and they all agreed that - despite their pride - the road to recovery was... pleasant. Cozy spent her free time largely with Starlight and Sunburst, and warmed up to them more than she'd allow herself to admit.
She had a relapse when she'd discovered Starlight was pregnant with Sunburst's foal.
"Please calm down, sweetie!" Starlight pleaded, using her magic to catch or deflect the loose objects the filly was tossing around in her fury. "I thought you'd be excited!"
"Excited?!" the pegasus laughed madly. "Why would this excite me?! Now you have a daughter! A real daughter! Guess I missed my chance, huh?"
"Cozy, it's not like that," Sunburst rolled his eyes as he approached the filly. From what Cozy had heard, Starlight's rages were far more frightening, but it still surprised her how fearless the vice headstallion was around her. He treated her like... like a filly. "You haven't been replaced."
"You knew about the offer?" Cozy stopped in her rampage, surprised.
"I'm her husband, remember?" the stallion chuckled. "I mean, it'd be pretty weird if she just came home one day with you in tow and said 'by the way, this is our daughter'."
"I... I can't be replaced anyway," Cozy shook her head. "I never took the offer. I missed my chance."
"Do you really think we'd still spend all this time with you if we weren't still interested in having you for a daughter?" Sunburst looked genuinely surprised. "Cozy, you don't have any guardians, and we really like you."
"You like me?"
"You're smart, and you have a fire in you," Sunburst looked back at his wife, "just like Starlight."
"I'm also a psychotic megalomaniac with an obsession for dominating others," Cozy grimaced. A year ago, she'd never have spoken the words, and certainly not let them affect her with anything approaching regret. So much had changed in the time she'd spent with Starlight.
"You're in a bad place," Starlight stepped forward, "and that's okay. I was in a bad place for more than a decade. Plenty of ponies in your position were. Tempest Shadow, for one."
"Oh yeah, she was pretty bad," Sunburst nodded, "but now she travels around helping others. Don't forget Discord."
"I know about the reformed villains," Cozy sighed heavily, but she felt the tension leave her. "I just... I don't see how you could still want to be my friend, let alone... want me as a daughter."
"Because we love you," the two adults spoke as one, without hesitation. Cozy stumbled as if she'd been punched in the gut.
"I..." she took a shaky breath as she steadied herself. She made sure to look up at the couple, despite the tears in her eyes. "Alright. I accept."
"What?" Starlight's eyes widened.
"I accept," Cozy repeated. "I'll be your daughter."
"You'll also be a sister," Sunburst added, trying to hide the tears in his own eyes.
"A great one," Starlight added.
...
"I was not a great sister," Cozy Glow began wrapping up her story. "I was still a brat for most of it, but when Luster turned out to be a prodigy and got sent away to Canterlot while I was being homeschooled, I sort of realized how lonely I really was. I kept to myself a lot after that. I tried to get work, but I could only get a job through Starlight arranging it, and I just... I wanted something on my own merits, you know?"
The mare paused, still staring at her plate.
"When Luster came back, I was so excited, but she... she's different," she continued. "She's smug. I managed to convince myself that I was a regular pony, that I could make our parents proud, and somehow she just came in and made me feel like garbage without having to say anything. She's a prodigy, enrolled with honors from one prestigious school to the next, apprenticed under the most powerful pony in all of Equestria, while I couldn't even get a job without my mom's help, and can't afford to live on my own. She never had to say it, but I saw from the look in her eyes, from the smirk on her lips, that she felt superior to me in every way. And... she's right."
Cozy blinked when she realized how much she had shared, shooting a worried glance at the other three mares. They all stared back at her with varying expressions. Pity wasn't one of them.
"It sucks living in a sibling's shadow," Sweetie Belle agreed.
"Feeling like you can never live up to the bar they set," Scootaloo frowned.
"It's important to realize that every creature's their own creature," Apple Bloom, ever the wise one, chimed in. "You shouldn't judge yourself by comparing yourself to others. I mean, Luster Dawn's a unicorn for one; of course you couldn't get into some fancy magic school."
"If it's any consolation, I couldn't either," Sweetie Belle noted. "Plus, if you were a unicorn, I bet you'd have been accepted. You've got the aptitude."
"Besides, you're in the Wonderbolts!" Scootaloo beamed. "That's way cooler, and harder to get in. Well, okay, maybe not harder to get into, but you help in emergencies and look cool doing it!"
"I'm not a Wonderbolt yet," Cozy blushed at the unexpected support. "Thanks for not... for not judging me."
"Why would we judge you? For venting?" Apple Bloom giggled. "Everybody needs to vent, Cozy."
"Believe me, I've put up with far more venting for far less important things from my sister," Sweetie groaned, then imitated Rarity, "Oh, it was dreadful, darling! They had a fuschia bow on the burgandy sun hat! Simply dreadful!"
They all shared a little laugh at the impression and Cozy felt lighter. The realization that her problems were valid, that she wasn't some damaged psych patient but just a normal mare with relatable problems, lifted a weight from her shoulders.
"How is your sister doing these days, anyway?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Yeah, did she get better?" Scootaloo leaned in, interested.
"You know, I'm not really sure," Cozy tapped her chin, "though I think mom said something about her finally getting a roommate at the school. No idea who would be crazy enough to room with her, though."
They shared a little laugh at the joke, though Cozy was genuinely curious. Who was going to room with her sister?