Off-Color

by Jinzou


Scootaloo Lends a Hoof

"No! No! Stay away from me!" Scootaloo whimpered.

Standing in front of the terrified filly was a burly pegasus stallion, with a light brown coat and a tan mane. He also had an ugly, heavily scarred wing.

"You've ruined my life, kid. Time for some payback." Thunder Chaser growled.

"Rainbow Dash! Twilight! Help me!" Scootaloo wailed.

But nobody came flying in to protect Scootaloo. She'd have to save herself. She flared out her wings, ready to take flight. Instead she only felt a terrible pain. Looking back, Scootaloo saw her wings were broken again.

"Nobody to come help you now. I have all the time in the world, kid." Thunder Chaser threatened.

Scootaloo shut her eyes tightly, prepared for the pain. It never came. There was an unexpected sizzling sound, and a soothing voice spoke up.

"It has been a long time, Scootaloo. The danger is gone."

I recognize that voice.

Scootaloo snapped her eyes open to behold a dark blue alicorn smiling kindly down at her.

"Princess Luna, I'm so glad to see you! Uh, thank you for..." Scootaloo gestured to the ground where her attacker previously was. All that was there was a burn mark. "...That."

Luna closed her eyes and nodded. Upon looking back at Scootaloo Luna sighed. "I am sorry for you, child. I wish the nightmares didn't plague you so."

Calmed down, Scootaloo smiled back up at the princess. "It's okay. I mean, I still hate them, but I get them few and far between now. I've actually been getting help. I guess we can't all just be given an inspirational speech and defeat our inner demons like you during that weird shared dream thing."

Luna hesitated a moment too long to acknowledge that, and Scootaloo instantly picked up on it. Pulling herself up to a sitting position, she looked at Luna with a concerned expression on her face.

"Princess Luna, you have forgiven yourself for that, right?" Scootaloo asked slowly.

Luna didn't respond or even look at Scootaloo for moment, electing to give a heavy sigh before meeting Scootaloo's worried gaze. Scootaloo was far from an expert in mental state, but she could recognize that look from anywhere, considering she had worn it herself rather often recently.

Luna obviously was hiding something, and very much wanted to trust in somebody else. But she either felt like it was improper, or didn't want to burden somebody else with it. Scootaloo bit her lip thoughtfully. She had to help the Princess out of this head-space. Not only was a princess in Equestria hiding some mental baggage, but a kindly one too, that had saved Scootaloo from nightmares before. Scootaloo felt compelled to help the princess.

"Princess Luna, please. I can tell you want to tell me something, whatever you say won't leave this... dream. And there will be no judging. Besides, my therapist always said confiding in at least somebody else helps with the pain, even if it's just one other pony to share the pain, and he's a very smart pony." Scootaloo did her best to give the princess a reassuring smile.

After a few moments it got to Luna. Her gaze hardened to a look of determination. She gave up a heavy sigh. She knew not only should adults not bother fillies with adult issues, and especially not little fillies that had been dragged through Tartarus and back recently. But it was the fact that somebody else looked concerned for her.

As she started back into Scootaloo's concerned face. The big eyes, the ever so slightly scrunched muzzle and partial frown seemed so... familiar. Like a sweet face from her past, a long since buried memory of a small filly that used to mean the world to her. A long since buried memory of a face she hadn't seen for over a millennia, but could still remember every detail of.

...Rose...

Luna closed her eyes tightly and shook her head back and forth, her resolve broken under the weight of emotion that came with that little face. She returned to Scootaloo and took a deep breath, deciding that Scootaloo just might be right.

"Scootaloo, I only tell you this because... you are now technically family through Princess Twilight Sparkle, and I don't have any other friends to really speak to, but... no. The Tantabus was merely a symptom. And while Twilight did help, the cause is not so easily dismissed."

Scootaloo thought for a moment, her eye catching the burn mark where her attacked her previously stood. She thought back to coming back to the castle with Princess Twilight after an especially long and painful meeting with her therapist, where she had torn through the library's section on mental health, voraciously reading each book. Sure, most of them used terminology she didn't fully understand, but she had learned enough.

"You lied to Twilight." Scootaloo realized. "You can't fix... emotional masochism with an inspirational speech. You still feel guilty. You're still punishing yourself."

Luna was taken aback. She knew the filly was a bit more emotionally mature than others her age, but she hadn't expected one to be able to read her as easily, or one to even know what the term "emotional masochism" meant.

"Child, how do you..." Luna trailed off, unsure on how to even phrase her question.

Scootaloo chuckled awkwardly. "After I realized my special talent in helping ponies, I stared thinking. Always speaking to my therapist was very cather... cathart..." Scootaloo's face screwed up in focus as she tried to remember the word.

"Cathartic?" Offered Luna.

"Yes, that! It was always a very cathartic experience, and eventually I stopped feeling so terrified and torn up when alone. It was then that I realized that while my talent was helping ponies find out who they really were, I wanted to take a more... mental health approach, like my therapist. And especially after helping Diamond Tiara and just seeing how... happy she is now. So Twilight showed me some books and I did a little research." Scootaloo explained.

Luna looked back, impressed. Scootaloo grinned.

"And while I'm clearly not knowledgeable enough to do diagnoses or anything like that..." Scootaloo picked at the ground of the dreamscape with a hoof idly, wondering how best to phrase the next thing she said. "I do know you can't just will away depression. If that's what's going on." Scootaloo looked at Luna, seeming almost apologetic.

But Luna wasn't even seeing Scootaloo anymore. In her mind, the one speaking to her was a baby blue earth pony with bouncy pink curls and grayed out eyes. Eyes so empty, but filled with so much love. Luna found her eyes misting up as all the memories she had suppressed of that filly came to the surface.

Pausing for a moment, a terrible thought occurred to Scootaloo. "Princess, earlier when you said you had no other friends to speak to about this... Do you have anybody there for you besides Princess Celestia?"

Scootaloo had hit directly on the sore subject.

Luna wiped her eyes with a forehoof. "No, child. Ever since the last friendship I had turned out... well as it did. I have not allowed myself to feel companionship by anybody else."

Scootaloo cocked her head in confusion. "How did the last one turn out so badly?"

I'm this far in too far with this filly. Might as well just go along with whatever happens. Might as well start letting ponies know how pathetic I really am. Keep me humble.

Luna slammed her hoof on the ground and all of the sudden, the setting changed. They were in some sort of park, the moon freshly raised in the sky. There were trimmed hedges, park benches, and in the middle of the park, a large statue of Princess Celestia in a victorious pose. Looking around, Scootaloo spotted two Princess Lunas. One, who had a rather ethereal aura, was looking at her, while the other one was regarding another filly with a small smile. The filly had a baby blue coat, hot pink curls, grayed out eyes, and no cutie mark. The filly was sitting on one of the benches and looking at Luna with a warm expression.

"Well that's true I can't see, that hasn't stopped me before. Even before I went blind I used to come out here every night and just... stare at the stars. It's a nice break from the hustle and bustle of life during the day. It also helps calm me down after the bullies get to me." said the mysterious filly in a sweet, dulcet voice.

"Scootaloo, meet Amethyst Rose." The Luna from the present said. "A filly I met shortly before my... transformation into Nightmare Moon. My first friend since foalhood. And my last. In my most turbulent times, she was the only pony I found that actually cared for my nights. And at the time, seemingly the only pony that cared about me."

Luna slammed her hoof again, and the time skipped ahead by a few days.

"Uh, I don't remember the name, but there was some kind of disease inside my eyes. It started as a lot of shadows and flashes of light inside my eyes, and then developed to the point where my vision just kept blurring until everything went dark. The doctor said they don't have the science to stop it." Amethyst Rose said.

"I found out soon into our friendship that this filly was terminally ill. The same cancer that had taken her sight was threatening to reach her brain. And if that happened, she would be lost to us forever."

"But that's okay." Rose said. "Because after... it all ends, I'm gonna find the brightest star in the night sky, and make it my own. I'll shine light down on all the ponies, and especially you, Aurora. I want you to accomplish great things. I know you can accomplish great things." The filly jumped off the bench and smiled happily at Luna from the past.

"And maybe when it's your time, and you're sailing across the beautiful blanket of stars, I'll find you again."

Scootaloo watched as tears started streaming down the faces of both Lunas in stereo.

"Yes, Rose. I think I'd like that." Past Luna said. The scene froze.

Scootaloo turned to face her Luna. "What happened after that?"

Luna cleared her throat again and wiped her eyes. "The next night I went searching for her, and all I found was a note from the filly, saying she had gone under for surgery that day, and didn't have the heart to tell me the night before. She promised to meet me there a week later." Luna turned to regard the frozen Amethyst Rose from the past.

"She didn't make it." Luna finished.

Slamming down her hoof a final time, the scene changed. They were in a throne room, one throne colored gold and one colored dark blue. There was a banner above each throne in their respective colors. Between the thrones there was a small bridge, and upon that bridge stood another Luna.

"Not... another step!" Luna from the past demanded.

Luna stared at the floor. "That was the final piece that broke me. I was so angry at everything. So angry that I tapped into some heavy dark magic. I let evil forces into my body and willingly let them change me."

"There can only be one princess in Equestria! And that princess... will be me!" Past Luna screamed, slamming her forehooves and shattering the area around her. As the moon rose in front of the sun, she began to change. Before she knew it, Scootaloo was staring at Nightmare Moon. Nightmare Moon let loose a magic bolt, caving in the ceiling, and as Celestia fled, Nightmare Moon kept chase.

Luna kept her gaze firmly fixed on the floor as the sounds of distant battle filled the silence.

"I let myself become a monster because I was foolish enough to believe I deserved a friend. I hurt my sister, and if not for the Elements... I would have killed her. And then I would have turned Equestria into a wreck just because I was angry." Luna snorted angrily, then looked up to meet Scootaloo's gaze, which with stuck somewhere between horror and sympathy. "So that's why I refuse to befriend anybody. That's why I created the Tantabus. That's why I can never truly forgive myself. Not because I did anything not reversible that night, but I could have. I attacked my own sister who was just trying to help. I..." Luna's voice cracked. "I could have killed her. I'm a monster."

There was a stretch of silence that lasted a few moments.

"Princess Luna..." Scootaloo started slowly. "Permission to speak freely?"

Luna sighed. "You may drop the formalities, Scootaloo. Go ahead."

"You're wrong."

Luna looked up the filly in front of her in shock.

"Child, you saw what happened. What I became. A vessel full of dark magic and rage. What if I try to reach out again? What if something happened and I go back into that state of mind? I mean, ponies still sleep through my night, and I still stand in my sister's shadow."

Scootaloo shook her head.

"You're still wrong. After my father beat me, it always left me thinking I was worthless, just a burden to everyone who had to deal with me. Sometimes I would consider finding a tall cliff and well... For the longest time when Rainbow Dash was taking care of me, I felt like I was just a worthless burden to her and would so often wonder why I had become the kind of pony to waste the time and resources of the pony I idolized so much."

Scootaloo sat down, keeping eye contact with the still shocked princess. "But I was wrong. I'm not useless, and I'm not a burden. And it took a lot of time and care for me to fully believe that. And you're the same. You're not irredeemable. Ponies do enjoy your night. I mean hey." Scootaloo laughed. "Sometimes when the Crusaders play, Sweetie Belle's 'war cry' is 'for the Lunar Empire!'. Ever since you helped her with the whole Sapphire Shores thing, she idolizes you. And Applebloom and I do too. I mean, without your help, I never would have began my sister relationship with Rainbow Dash, and as a result, would probably still be living with an abusive father."

Scootaloo saw Luna look down. She didn't look like she fully believed Scootaloo. It was time for something else. Hoping it would come off too badly to the Princess of the Night, Scootaloo held her breath as she walked up to her, then timidly stood on her hind legs and pulled Luna's neck into a hug. Scootaloo heard Luna give out a sharp gasp.

"Princess Luna..." Scootaloo started meekly. "I believe in you. And I would be honored if you would be able to consider me a friend too."

There was a very awkward silence until Luna wrapped her forehooves around the filly and returned the hug. The two stayed there for a few minutes in a companionable silence, until Luna spoke up.

"I'm sorry child. But I don't know if I can. What happens when you expire?"

Luna broke the hug, looking to the side.

"I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, princess." Scootaloo giggled. "I have one princess and element bearer watching over me during the day, and the coolest princess ever watching over my dreams!"

Luna smiled back at Scootaloo. "The coolest, huh? I think your mother might have a problem with that."

Scootaloo playfully rolled her eyes. "Twilight is a great pony, and I love her for who she is, but I'll admit she's not the coolest. There was one time she wanted to get more in touch with 'the lingo the foals are using' for me." Scootaloo made air quotes with her hooves. "So she went around Ponyville asking other ponies randomly for lingo kids use these days. Can you imagine that? Being just some random pony, and then one of the four princesses of Equestria walks up to you and asks you what kind of 'crazy new' phrases your foals use? I'm never going to live that down."

Luna gave out a heartfelt laugh for the first time that night.

"She did not!"

"I swear she did!"

The two spent a moment laughing together. Scootaloo gazed up at Luna with a smile. "Yes, I won't be around forever, and losing somebody you care about will always hurt, but you can always make new friends. You may not think so, but you're a really likable pony."

Luna smiled back at the filly as she digested her words.

"Thank you Scootaloo. If you're willing, I would indeed like to be friends. And I suppose maybe I should seek a pony that is qualified to help me... mentally. And for what it's worth, I would encourage you leaning towards mental health studies, as you said. You're already very good at being helpful in that regard."

Scootaloo beamed up at her new friend.

"Well, I suppose I should return to the waking world now. It is almost time for Celestia to raise the sun, and it seems I am going to have a much busier day than originally expected." Luna sighed happily.

"Oh, princess, one more thing before you go?" Scootaloo asked.

"Yes, child?"

"Earlier you said 'we're technically family'. How does that work?"

Luna tittered. "Well it's not legal by any means, but all us princesses consider each other as family. And as you're the legal daughter of Twilight, that makes us family. At least by our own rules."

Scootaloo hesitated for a moment. "Does that mean I can call you Auntie Luna?"

Luna laughed. "Of course you can, Scootaloo."

Scootaloo let out a soft squee.

"But now I must take my leave. Have a good day... friend." Luna smiled.

And like that, the scene melted around Scootaloo and she woke up softly in her bed with a giant grin on her face.

"Oh, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle are not going to believe what just happened!"