Author's Note:
05-28-2017
From the prompt: PROMPTAnd yes, I do know just how absurdly blasphemous I made it. <chuckles> It's all about presentation though, so... HAH!
Standing there on the side of the road, Soft Touch read the sign again... and despite her best attempts at vapid disbelief, it remained steadfast in its message.
"Welcome to the Lovely Land of Horrendia. Land of Ten Thousand Sinkholes!"
Smacking herself lightly in the head, she blinked and looked again.
Still the same.
"Hey, Dawn.... this sign here, does it really say-"
Her traveling companion smirked and shook his head. "Yheah, Soft, it really does say that."
Quickly glancing back at the sign, Soft Touch lowered her head and threw her arms in the air. "The hell? I mean, what the flaming HELL? Who advertises SINKHOLES as a quality of their property?" She looked around, as if expecting a local to come out and explain it for a moment before jabbing a limb at Dawn. "This is your fault, isn't it? This is one of your dumb jokes, right? You sent ahead while we were sleeping last night and had someone stick this dumb sign in the road just to mess with me, didn't you."
Dawn smirked but shook his head. "Nah... not me, Soft. I mean, it ~is~ pretty weird, but, really... is it THAT weird compared to some of the other stuff we've come across?" He raised an eyebrow at her expression. "You know... like the 'faceless bunny horde' or the 'tower of really really small bad guys' or maybe the 'pit of embarrassingly naughty tenta-'"
Soft cracked him across the shoulder with a red faced glare to back it up. "Finish that sentence and I will personally introduce you to my lockpick."
Dawn smiled and backed up a step, putting his arms up in a placating manner. "Ease up, Soft... I'm just saying..."
Soft fixed him with a stare for a few more seconds before shaking her head. "We said we'd never speak of that again."
"And we won't," Dawn chuckled quietly, "unless it's for a laugh." At Soft's glare, he rolled his eyes and relented. "Fine.... fine."
Soft went back to looking at the sign. "Sinkholes. Freaking weird place. Guess we should be ready for unexpected cave diving or something, huh?"
Dawn nodded. "Yheah, probably wouldn't hurt. You still got that rope and the flares?"
"Yheah. Not really liking the idea of it, but I still have the stuff to get our sorry butts out of a hole in the ground." She grimaced, "I really don't want to end up in a cave."
Dawn smiled and pointed down the road, where the grassy fields and trees began to give way to rippling, sandy dunes. "Good news, then. Looks like there's an outpost town just on the other side of the border. We can probably get some transportation there and just ride it out."
Soft's expression fell a bit. "And it'll likely cost us an arm and a leg to get it, won't it?"
Dawn smirked at Soft's ill-hidden greed. "Probably.... but at least we won't end up slipping into any pits of tentac-"
Dawn's voice cut out as Soft pounced him with a growl and a crack to the head.
*****
Sitting on the deck of the tiny craft, Soft Touch and Dawn looked out from under a wispy shade cloth as their 'skimmer' slid effortlessly over the dunes.
As Dawn had hoped, the outpost town of Driftwood Berth had indeed been capable of providing transportation. The Berthmaster, a weathered old man by the name of Kersel, had chartered one of his surprisingly large fleet of nine 'skimmers' to take them across the Dune Sea of Horrendia. Not surprisingly, the cost had been enough to get the old man to smile, showing off a full set of gold teeth.
So, despite a rather hefty exchange of the universally accepted 'gold pieces', Soft was able to justify her expenditure as a way of avoiding her fear of being stuck underground.
Dawn, of course, planned to tease her mercilessly later over the fact that she had nearly climbed onto the small dingy-like craft before even paying.
Oh yes, there would be many a tavern brawl in their future over this tale.
On the other hand, as they skimmed over the dunes, he was beginning to wonder if, maybe, the sign had been a stroke of genius after all.
As far as he could see, the dunes were sleek and benign, offering little in the way of rest, but even less in the way of 'sinkholes'. Granted, he wasn't exactly sure what a sinkhole would look like under sand, but still... assuming the dunes were nothing more than a golden orange desert, the placement of the sign would likely drum up more business for the outpost. If not for Mr. Kersel, himself.
Assuming such a thing, Dawn had to admit, it was one of the best sales pitches he'd ever seen. A scam the size of the desert they were currently skimming across.
'Damn,' he thought, 'we've been had by an old man and a magic rowboat.'
It was at that point, however, that they crested a dune and saw a man, glowing with pale gold light standing upon the sands, reaching out to another man, half sunken in the seemingly endless desert.
As he watched, the man in the sand continued to slip further and further under while the other man plead with him to simply take his hand and trust in him.
Dawn didn't have the heart to keep watching as they sped past.
"Damn I'm glad we paid for this raft-thing," Soft muttered as they crested another dune, leaving the men behind.
