There was a knock at the door. Moments after, a smol bug and a griffon raced down the hallway towards the door. The bug made it first, but the griffon could reach the doorknob easier. Thus the bug was momentarily squished between fur, feathers, and hardwood.
Gilda opened the door, while scooting the dazed bug to the side. She blinked at the purple-scaled and red-scaled forms of Spike and Garble.
“Hi. Is Lorraine in?” Spike asked.
“Dude, she never leaves, where would she be?” Garble looked down at the smaller dragon.
“The library?” Spike raised a brow at the larger dragon.
“But she wasn’t there sooo…” Garble countered.
“She’s in.” John said with a groan, shaking his head and rubbing his snoot.
“Come on in.” Gilda turned and plodded back into the living room, followed by the bug and the pair of dragons.
The noodle dragon was on the couch, looking a little out of it. She shivered only a little, which was barely noticed due to the amount of blankets she was wrapped up in. There was a steaming cup sitting in front of her on the coffee table. Alastor was standing not far away watching her like a hawk. His fur was poofed out a bit and he seemed rather defensive.
“Hey Lorraine, how are you feeling?” Spike asked crawling up next to her.
“We heard about what happened recently and wanted to check on you.” Garble added, leaning against the back of the couch.
Lorraine blinked. “I’m okay. Really.”
“You don’t look okay.” Spike frowned.
“She’s cold.” Gilda said from the kitchen.
“Alastor’s poultice and Luna’s spell seem to have a lasting effect on her.” John said, cuddling up to her other side.
“Awww.” Spike patted the blankets where he assumed she was.
“That’s rough. Are you going to be okay?” Garble asked. “We were going to invite you out today, but if you’re still tired and miserable we could do something less physical.”
“It’s okay, just gotta wait for the medication to kick in.” Lorraine said slowly.
“I have her on a few things to help her recover. Luna also comes by regularly to see if she needs to do anything else. It normally results in the pair playing games.” Alastor said from his corner.
“Which is actually really fun to watch, especially when Lorraine’s out of it on meds.” Gilda chuckled.
“Screw you.” Lorraine rolled her eyes.
“Hey, Lorraine. So Twilight was planning a sleepover, but everyone was busy (*Cough* and AJ’s still in jail *Cough*), well except for Trixie. A sleepover with just a couple people isn’t as fun, and she’s kinda put out. We were originally going to take you out to learn some dragon things, but would you like to just chill in the library and just hang out with Twilight and… well whoever wants to come?” Spike asked. “I’m sure Twi would like that.”
The noodle dragon blinked. “Sure.”
“Anybody else?” Spike looked around.
“I’m her unofficial doctor, and Lorraine has an irritating habit of pushing herself beyond her limits, so I will be attending.” Alastor stated, stepping forward.
“Sorry.” Lorraine apologized.
“Accepted, I’m used to it at this point.” The deer sighed.
“I’m coming.” John said. “I wouldn’t leave her either.”
“I’ll stay here and watch the house.” Gilda stated from the kitchen. “You all can have fun.”
“Sounds good, thanks G.” John said.
“Sure, I’ll just binge watch the Die Hard movies or something.” Gilda shrugged.
“Let’s let her medicine take effect, then we can be off.” Alastor said with a sagely nod.
“Sorry.” Lorraine apologized again.
“It’s alright.” John and Spike said in unison while patting the blankets at the same time.
“Heh. Jinx.” Garble snorted.
The group had left for the library. It had taken a bit for some things to be packed, especially Alastor’s bag of “just in case” medicines. But eventually, they all left.
Gilda watched them go and closed the door behind them. She then plodded into the kitchen, took down a wine glass, tugged a box of wine out of the fridge and filled her glass. She half-hobbled over to the living room and set her glass on the coffee table. She flicked on the TV and DVD player. She flicked through the DVDs, before selecting something and putting it in. Gilda lounged on the couch. As she took a sip of her wine the menu screen came up.
Maid in Manehatten.
Lorraine was slower than normal, but nobody really cared. Their rather large group kept some of the mares away from them, or Alastor specifically. It was rather funny to see the noodle dragon drift from side to side on occasion. She got readjusted by one of her companions. John was a little too small to do so however.
In due time, they made it to the library. It was the perfect timing too, because it started to get cloudy. Like, oncoming storm, dark clouds, kind of cloudy. Spike mentioned something about a rain being missed last week due to some kind of scheduling conflict, either way, they made it inside right as the first drops started to land.
“Twilight. I brought friends.” Spike announced as everyone piled into the library.
Twilight, for her part, jumped. She’d been sitting on a couch reading, and said reading had been rudely interrupted.
“Twi, we’ve come to invade your home and eat all your snacks.” John said as he and Alastor flanked the slow plodding noodle dragon.
“Hi.” Lorraine said as she was plopped across from the mare.
“Hi.” Twilight blinked. She gave a small glare towards the purple dragon. “Spike, you didn’t have to go and interrupt their day. I was perfectly fine with not doing the slumber party.”
“And yet we came anyway.” Alastor turned his attention to the mare. “Hello, I’m not sure we’ve properly met. I’m-”
“Alastor, the Radio Buck, also called Lord of the Hunt, Red Death, or The Devil of Winter.” Twilight listed. “I’d normally be scared, but I’ve got a feeling those two have you on a bit of a tight leash.” She gestured at Lorraine and John. “That, and you did save Lorraine’s life, or so I’m told.”
Lorraine blinked and looked at the buck. “Why do you have so many titles?”
“Darling, it’s what happens when you live a long time.” Alastor replied with a sly smile.
“What did you do- You know, nevermind.” Lorraine sighed.
“Anybody want anything to eat or drink?” Garble asked.
“Hey, that’s my job.” Spike pouted at the larger dragon. “And I live here, you’re the guest.”
“What, I can like helping people.” Garble raised a scaley brow.
“You know you both can use the kitchen, it’s fine.” Twilight rolled her eyes at the pair. “Seriously it’s like you two are brothers.”
Both dragons chuckled. Spike looked at Lorraine. “Do you need anything? Coffee? Tea? Hot chocolate?”
“Yeah, hot chocolate would be great.” She said, then looked around. “Imma go find a cushion-” John hopped back up onto the couch and pushed a cushion into her lap, which the noodle dragon hugged to her chest scales.
“Need anything else?” John asked.
“Marshmallows in the hot chocolate?” Lorraine asked, looking quite cute.
“I’ll let ‘em know.” The smol bug hopped down and trotted towards the kitchen. The deer decided to take his seat. He then scooted closer to the noodle dragon.
“Thank you for coming.” Twilight said with a bit of a shy smile. “I know you’re still not feeling well.”
“Better here, than being at home. Ponies are crazy.” Lorraine shrugged.
“The mares still decide to give me gifts. Mainly food. And by food I mean poison. They spike their gifts with love poison.” Alastor rolled his eyes.
“They-” Twilight blinked. “They do what?”
“Well, they were dumb enough to leave their names and addresses on the packaging. So we reported them. Their herd mates weren’t happy.” Lorraine replied as Spike waddled out and set a steaming cup on the end table next to the couch. There were marshmallows bobbing in the hot chocolate.
Spike then returned to the kitchen as John trotted back out. He paused and blinked at the deer. The deer grinned wickedly at the smol bug. The smol bug shrugged and hopped up to curl into a bug loaf in Lorraine’s lap. He stuck his tongue out at the not, slightly irritated deer.
Twilight giggled for a moment, then her concerned look returned. “I may need to write the Princesses about this. This is very concerning. You said you already took action, but trying to poison someone, especially with a love poison, is a very serious crime.”
Noodle dragon slowly leaned over a bit and just as slowly grabbed her drink to hold it in both her claws. The smol bug in her lap started purring. She took a sip, then set the mug back down on the end table. “Well, we’re not sure if it’s actually intentional. I’m pretty sure somebody’s selling love poisons and marketing them as love potions.”
“This isn’t good.” Twilight frowned. “This might need a more thorough investigation. I’ll have Spike make a note of later so I can send a letter.”
“Please do.” John commented, keeping his eyes closed. He looked quite content.
“We brought munchies.” Spike announced, bringing out a plate of nachos. The cheese was still bubbling as he set the plate down on the table between the couches.
Garble followed with a plate of small cookies. They looked like a variety of sugar and chocolate chip cookies. That plate was set next to the first.
“So, do we have any fun slumber party plans?” Garble asked.
“Oh! I have something for this!” Twilight gasped and raced upstairs.
“Of course.” Spike face-clawed.
There was a click and the sound of a door opening. Out of the basement, came a somewhat sleepy-looking Trixie. “Trixie smelled food.” She commented, blinking slowly and looking around.
“Hey Trixie.” John said, not looking up, or even moving.
“Hi.” Lorraine said bluntly.
“Hey Jo-” Trixie’s eyes fell on Lorraine and she paused mid-sentence. She blinked. Her eyes slowly widened. “Well hello there.” She grinned now seemingly very awake. “Well aren’t you the prettiest dragon that Trixie has ever seen. She would love to give you a private show, if the dragon is interested.” She finished with a wink.
The noodle dragon grinned. “Woo! More fireworks! Sure! They’re so pretty!”
There was a dull thud as John’s hoof met his forehead.
“I’m afraid the lady is already taken.” Alastor said, sitting up a little straighter.
“Oh, Trixie knows, but it seems your little group is lacking in females.” Trixie nodded sagely.
“Ummmm group?” Lorriane blinked.
“Me, Lorraine, Alastor, Gilda…. Nope, there’s a balance.” John stated after listing.
“Oh! Friend group. Okay.” The noodle dragon nodded.
“Friend group. Herd. Whatever you like to call it.” Trixie rolled her eyes and trotted over to the table to levitate a cookie into her waiting mouth.
“We’re not a herd.” John opened an eye and looked at her.
“Yet.” Alastor said offhoofedly.
“Not helping, deer boy.” John turned his head to now glare at the deer.
“Herd in a familial sense, not a sexual one.” Alastor corrected.
“Now… That makes more sense.” John nodded. Lorraine snorted a laugh.
“Okay! I have the book- oh hey Trixie -and we can commence with the slumber party!” Twilight said happily as she charged back downstairs. She proceeded to plop herself down next to the small table. Trixie levitated the plate out of the way just in time, before the purple book horse smashed them with the sizable book.
“Good god.” John blinked. “What in the holy mother of fuck is that?”
“Slumber 101: All You Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid to Ask. Adult Edition. Twilight said grinning. “I got this from Cadence as a birthday gift when I turned eighteen.”
John, Alastor, and Garble blinked. Spike face-clawed with two claws. The noodle dragon was leaning forward and stretching her legs out to grab the plate of cookies. A violet aura surrounded the plate and levitated it over to the dragon.
“Thanks.” Lorraine said happily as she started munching on the cookies.
“Of course, cutie.” Trixie said with a wink.
Lorraine paused. “Don’t… don’t call me that.”
Trixie shrugged. “Trixie will come up with a better term.”
“Spin the bottle, Twister, Thirty Seconds in Elysium, this has so many ideas!” Twilight bounced in place a little.
“What’s Thirty Seconds in Elysium?” Lorraine asked.
“Two people get chosen, they get shut in a closet together for thirty seconds. Kissing is normally involved. There is a longer variant called Seven Minutes in Heaven, but that really depends on the group.” John said with a shrug as he got up and stretched like a cat before jumping off Lorraine’s lap.
“Oh… I don’t like kissing.” Lorraine stated bluntly.
“I know, love.” John nodded.
“Awww…” Trixie whined.
Lorraine looked at the blue unicorn and blinked at her in confusion.
“I just find it gross.” The noodle dragon explained. “Yeah, I know it’s weird.”
“Oh, I agree. I never saw the appeal of kissing.” Twilight nodded.
“Well maybe you haven’t found the right person?” Garble asked.
“Mmmmm, probably? More than likely not though.” Twilight shook her head.
The red dragon seemed to slump a bit.
“For me, I just see it as unhygienic.” Lorraine said with a shrug.
“So nix anything with kissing?” Spike offered.
“We could replace the kissing with something else?” The noodle dragon offered. “No idea what though.”
“Replace kissing with nuzzling or cuddling.” John suggested, batting at a cookie until it fell off the plate and into his mouth. “Oooor… Or. Hugs.”
“Hugs work.” Twilight nodded, continuing to flip through the book. “Ooooo they have excerpts from the Pony Sutra.”
“Twilight. No.” John stated. “This isn’t the group for that kind of party.”
“Hmmm?” Twilight looked up and looked at the bug. “Oh, yes, you’re probably right.”
“How god damn open about sex is pony society?” Lorraine asked aloud, scrunching up her face in pure what.
“Yes.” Trixie said with a nod. “Especially in Ponyville for some reason, then again, greater female population.”
“Darling, have you been paying attention to anything those mares have been saying to me?” Alastor glanced over at the noodle dragon.
“No. I’ve been focusing on you and coming in to save your arse when you get too uncomfortable.” Lorraine said, looking at him. “Or when they get too handsy.”
“Mmmm, you have a point. Then again, deer society is only slightly more conservative than pony society.” Alastor nodded. “Bucks are normally the forward ones though.”
“Dragon’s normally don’t talk about it, at least adults don’t in polite company. I’m still young enough that I honestly don’t care.” Garble shrugged.
“Same, I’m kinda deadened to it, to be honest.” Spike agreed.
“And here I’ve been containing my inner commentary for over two months and only now do I find out that nobody gives a fuck. Great.” John rolled his eyes with a groan. “Then again, I live with Lorraine who is the Prude Queen. No offense, love.”
“Hey, I do talk about that stuff, I’m just more logically minded.” Lorraine countered.
“I know.” John nodded. “I swear I will pull the emotion out of you if I have to…. That sounds a lot worse now that I’m a changeling and I can probably do that. Bleh…” He made a disgusted face.
“Dude, you know exactly how to get me to emote.” Lorraine deadpanned.
John paused. He then smiled, and gave his dragon a half-lidded gaze. His voice became husky. “Darling…”
Lorraine blinked, then giggled as a blush grew on her cheeks. “God dammit…”
“Is… Is that an impression of me?” Alastor blinked at the bug in surprise.
“Yes, weren’t you aware of her fangirlness?” John asked the deer.
“Well, yes, but it’s been on the backburner, so to speak.” The deer nodded.
“I’m trying to separate the two! That is not helping!” Lorraine snapped.
Both bug and buck slowly turned and looked at her. In unison. “Darling…”
“Oh my god…. You two are terrible.” Lorraine covered her face and broke into giggles.
“Trixie must learn. Teach Trixie your ways!” Trixie trotted over… and sat in front of John. “Teach me how to fluster the dragon.”
“God dammit, my life is a visual novel, and I can’t fucking enjoy it.” Lorraine groaned into her claws.
“Lemme kick everybody out of the house one of these nights and I can help you enjoy it.” John said in his sultry voice.
“I honestly didn’t mean it like that.” Lorraine looked at the bug.
“Oh, I know.” The bug smiled smugly at her. “But you really need to destress.”
“Wait, what did you mean?” Twilight asked, looking up from the book and staring at the luck dragon.
“Well, uh, most of the visual novels I read are like fairy tales. So, I like the whole fantasy of being swept off my feet, like…. Fuck.” Lorraine finished looking a little self conscious.
“Note for the record, fuck was not part of the explaination.” John added.
“Oh! Like a coltymare way of thinking.” Twilight nodded. “Like Rarity, to be honest.”
“Yes, that.” Lorraine nodded. “God dammit, I’m a doormat and a coltymare.”
“On that note, you two need to hang out more.” John commented. “Maybe spend a day just sitting and reading her collection of novels.”
“Rarity collects novels?” Twilight blinked, perking up.
“If you like male-dominant, strong stallion sweeps the mare off her hooves, then yes she does.” Spike said with a nod. “I prefer comics myself, but whatever makes her happy.” He shrugged.
“Interesting, I might need to borrow a few for research purposes.” Twilight said with a thoughtful hum.
“Research what?” Lorraine asked.
“Compare that type of relationship to other relationships around the world, or compare it against the more prevalent relationship styles around Ponyville.” Twilight explained.
“Are…. you trying to breakdown how relationships work plainly for research?” John blinked.
“Of course she is. It’s Twilight.” Spike said with a chuckle, stuffing some nachos into his mouth.
Lorraine took another drink from her hot chocolate. “Well, it’s fiction, you wouldn’t really be able to get reliable data. On one end it’s an escapist fantasy, on the other it’s an unattainable ideal. Realism is basically thrown out the window.”
“Hmmm, you do have a point.” Twilight nodded, tapping her chin with a hoof. “A different thesis could be comparing a mare-dominant story to a stallion-dominant story to see how each one is written.”
“And yet that,” the smol bug interjected, “is entirely dependant on each specific writer. It’s like the versus battle concept. You want the sides to be equal. Yet you take one character with a single writer that’s been expanded upon by said single person, and pit them against a character who has had multiple different writers over however many years. Add to that, vastly different degrees of power, different strengths and weaknesses, etcetera. And people want to just mash the second option into one composite version of the character with all the strengths and little, to none of the weaknesses. But, I’ve taken away from the main topic. Apologies, continue.”
“You’d have to take into account that there’s not only different target audiences for the books, but also different tropes and staples of the genres. So it wouldn’t be a clear comparison.” Lorraine spoke up after the bug quieted.
“So it’d basically be too varied and vast to get any reliable or even accurate data.” Twilight said with a nod.
“Trixie is wondering what in the fuck everyone is talking about.” Trixie blinked, glancing around at the others.
“Nerdy, book stuff.” Garble said with a smile. “I’m just happy everybody’s getting along.”
“Also, Twilight, you could just read them out of curiosity.” Lorraine added.
“There’s no shame in being curious.” John nodded. “There’s a downright sad amount of alpha-beta and/or soul-mate AU novels about. Why do people have to overcomplicate everything, just tell a good story dammit. It’s like the abundance of time loop stories.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me.” The noodle dragon nodded, then paused. “Hey, I like a good time loop fic!”
“That may be true, but there are a lot of them.” John nodded.
“Huh, you have a point, just read for the sake of reading something new.” Twilight smiled. “I’ll have to ask Rarity once she’s not too busy.”
“Soooo, what should we do first?” Spike asked.
“And let’s keep the more spicy stuff till later, or at least until we’ve had a few drinks.” John added.
“Oh right, alcohol.” The noodle dragon commented.
“The basement has a nice variety.” Trixie spoke up.
“What, I wanted to bring some of my favorites from Canterlot.” Twilight said, being oddly defensive. “Also, Trixie, I told you to not touch my booze.”
“And Trixie hasn’t. She has simply looked at them and pined after them.” Trixie replied with a huff. “You rarely even drink them.”
“Because they have a historical meaning! Pinot Grigio made by griffons in the eight hundreds. Mulled wine made by minotaur monks that’s over three hundred years old.” Twilight said waving her hooves. “They’re practically artifacts!”
“And you’re the proud owner of one of the last known bottles of Pre-Dark Age Howlcyon Diamond Dog Mead.” Spike added. “A shot of that might kill a pony.”
“Don’t tempt Trixie.” Trixie whined, pouting at the other unicorn.
“Okaaaay…” Twilight relented. “I can go find a bottle of something.”
“Huh if we’re drinking… I have a copy of Cards against Equestria at my place.” Garble jerked his thumb at the door. “I could go get that.”
~Crack BOOM!~
“Right. Storm. Later.” Garble blinked.
“Is there any apple juice in the fridge?” Lorraine asked.
“No, but we have some sparkling cider.” Spike shook his head.
“That’s non-alcoholic right?” The noodle dragon asked.
“Both kinds actually, what would you prefer?” Spike replied, waddling towards the kitchen.
Lorraine shrugged. “Just set aside some of the non-alcoholic stuff for later. I still have my hot chocolate to go through."