The Name of Our Mistakes

by ObabScribbler


27. Lust

Wind Racer wondered whether it was unhealthy to hate so many ponies at once. For the way they were treating Princess Luna, however, he was already nursing a potent loathing of every pony in the Great Hall.

He was on regular duty tonight. All this really meant was that two others of Princess Luna’s personal guards had been chosen to accompany her as she went about the castle and he was supposed to go wherever Captain Diamond told him to go. The captain, however, was distracted dealing with a few guests that had waylaid him. Wind Racer stood ready at the end of a line of stallions in formal dress, each wearing a piece of black cloth around a foreleg to mark them as part of the funeral procession. He had been proud when Princess Luna chose him to march behind her and wore her insignia proudly, as if daring those in the Sun Princess’s half of the procession to challenge him.

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna stood before the assembled ponies. Princess Celestia’s horn glowed a soft gold as she lowered the sun in the sky. As she worked, Princess Luna turned to address the guests.

“I shall now raise the moon and begin the night,” she announced, though her sister had not made a similar announcement before beginning her magic. Princess Celestia had merely excused herself from a small group of ponies and gone to the window.

Wind Racer watched in consternation as some of the gathered ponies turned at Princess Luna’s announcement, but the majority paid her little mind. They were too busy talking with each other, breaking into cliques and chatting about Clover the Clever, the funeral, Starswirl the Bearded’s unexpected appearance, how well Princess Celestia had coped with him, seeing the founding ponies together, wondering which of them would be next to go – everything topical, it seemed, except the magic being enacted before their very eyes. Apparently they were so used to nightfall that not even seeing the pony who made it happen was enough to stir them from their socialising.

Princess Luna scowled and announced again that she was about to begin the night. Wind Racer knew that the passing of day to night was complexly patterned throughout the year, happening at an incrementally different second, minute and eventually hour each time. The princesses had adopted the pattern set by the unicorn mages of old but refined it to such a degree that it boggled the mind how anypony could think in such minuscule detail so far into the future. To delay raising the moon for even a few minutes would wreck the schedule and throw off the pattern. By making Luna wait for them, the ponies in the Great Hall were doing more damage than they realised.

Wind Racer allowed his own features to contort into a scowl as the princess finally gave up and turned to the window. The sky darkened to an elegant dark blue which seemed almost black against the rising moon. In short bursts, like fireworks, stars flared into life. Princess Luna stepped away from the window, panting, and turned – only to find her work still being ignored. One or two ponies stamped their hooves politely but almost immediately went back to their conversations.

Princess Celestia laid a wing over her sister and said something, but Princess Luna pulled away and walked a little distance from her. Princess Celestia watched her go with sad eyes, yawned, and called her bodyguards to her.

“I must now take my leave of thee,” she declared to the assembled ponies. “I bid thee goodnight, one and all.”

“Must thou leave?” asked half a dozen ponies.

“We did hope to speak with thee.”

“Canst thou not stay a little longer?”

Celestia shook her head. She looked tired through her regal bearing. Wind Racer knew that just as Princess Luna weakened in daylight, so too did Princess Celestia when the sun was gone from the sky. “I shall leave thee with my sister, but I must depart.”

Her guards escorted her from the room amidst more pleading for her to stay. Princess Luna watched her go with undisguised bitterness. Her expression and the snappy, barbed way she had talked to them since the funeral, made ponies avoid her now.

Well, all but one. Prince Goldenmane trotted over and tried to engage her in conversation but it was clear the princess was not listening. She gazed around at the assembled ponies, her expression growing darker and darker until it was positively thunderous. Without excusing herself, she abandoned Prince Goldenmane and stalked away down a side corridor, trailing her guards for the night.

“Well, I never!” Wind Racer heard Prince Goldenmane exclaim. “I was always taught that royalty is expected to maintain a certain level of decorum!”

Wind Racer snorted. There was a reason Goldenmane and his mother were called ‘lesser royals’. The founding ponies’ families were all lesser royals if they chose to keep the titles, and their descendants would inherit those titles too, but they would never be true royalty in Wind Racer’s eyes.

He wasn’t sure what caught his attention. Maybe it was the stooped head. Maybe it was the way she snuck in from the staircase to the royal chambers. Maybe he was just keyed to spot her out of suspicion. His eyes found the hedgewitch in the crowd and followed her as she moved through, clearly looking for somepony. She ducked away from a pair of stallion nobles who laughed and shoved their way to the mead table, narrowly avoiding being crushed by a rotund mare in a frock two sizes too small for her. The hedgewitch swivelled her head this way and that but clearly didn’t find who she was looking for. She bit her lip and stood still, but only for a moment. A loud stallion with a laugh like a braying donkey crashed right into her, knocking her against the mead table. The bowl of drink from which ponies were serving themselves sloshed dangerously, dumping some of its contents on her head as she scrambled to her hooves. Ducking under the table and crawling to the end so she wasn’t intercepted again, she ran for the door through which she had just entered.

The royal chambers?

Apprehension wove a net around Wind Racer and pulled tight. Why would she go there unattended? Princess Luna was elsewhere. Why would her lover go to her rooms without her? Did she truly think the princess would be there when the castle was filled with guests and her sister was nowhere to be seen?

Since he was at the end of the row it was easy enough for him to slip off. He used a little-known route – the same, in fact, that he had last used to sneak the hedgewitch back to her own quarters. When he reached Princess Luna’s chamber the door was ajar and he could hear hoofsteps inside. Having memorised the sound of the princess’s silvery shoes, he knew they didn’t belong to her.

He crept to the doorway, peering around it. Bunching his formidable muscles under him, he leapt into the room, wings flared to make himself look as big and intimidating as possible, spear thrust forward in an attacking stance.

“Do not move!”

The hedgewitch squeaked and fell backwards. As she did so, something fell from her hooves. Wind Racer reached out with a leg and, still holding the speak steady on her, dragged it towards him. It was a tiny packet made from parchment. Carefully, clutching it in one hoof and using his wingtip to work open the top. Inside were crushed leaves and other bits of plant. It gave off a lemony smell that wasn’t altogether unpleasant. Nonetheless, Wind Racer’s brows knit together.

“What is this?”

The hedgewitch gulped, round eyes fixed on the spearhead.

“Answer, hedgewitch!” he barked.

Her gaze instantly shifted to his face. “H-How dost thou know of … of …” She swallowed, unable to focus on either him or the spear.

“Of thy hedgewitchery? ‘Twas not a secret – unlike thy presence here tonight. Wherefore art thou within the princess’s chamber uninvited?”

“I … I …”

“Art thou invited? Speak plain and truthful, else it shall go badly for thee.”

“I … was not invited,” she admitted. “Though Luna –”

“Speak not her name so casually, hedgewitch! I trust not thy intentions nor thy deeds. Thou art entirely too familiar with her Highness. Who art thou to so quickly be taken to her bed? Wherefore would she choose thee, of all ponies, for such an honour? Who art thou to mesmerise her eyes until they see no other when thou art known to her for such precious little time? Who art thou, to think thou might even look upon the Moon Princess, much less touch her!?” Though he hadn’t intended it, his voice rose to a shout and several things he had not meant to say spewed forth. “Thou art no-one! A mare of ignoble birth, of no status, of no worth except to pull ploughs and weeds! Yet thou art the princess’s chosen? I say nay. Something in these events – and in thee – doth reek of witchcraft.”

The hedgewitch stared at him, obviously terrified. “Nay! I … I mean nopony any harm, I … only wished to find Princess Luna to speak with her, t-to ask her about … um …” Involuntarily her eyes flicked to the packet in his hoof.

“Thou didst sneak up to her chamber alone, while she doth attend to her guests, thinking to speak with her?” Wind Racer didn’t bother to invest his tone with much conviction. “Thou liest, and not well, hedgewitch.”

“M-My name is not hedgewitch,” she protested.

“I care not for thy name. I care only for the wellbeing and safety of my princess. What do I hold in my hoof? What concoction hast thou brought to my princess’s bedchamber without her knowledge?” His mind worked, coming to what he quickly decided was the only possible conclusion, and his eyes narrowed in disgust. “Be this poison? Seekest thou to poison the Moon Princess?”

“N-No!” she protested extremely unconvincingly.

“’Twould make a pretty piece of sense!” Wind Racer said with growing conviction. “The swiftness of thy courtship, the speed at which thou didst seduce her Highness, the strange illness that did afflict her the last time I discovered thee in her company, her strange illness which no physician knows the cure of – who better to concoct a poison that may elude their tests than a hedgewitch? And who better to administer it to the princess than her lover?”

“No!” the hedgewitch cried. “Thou art wrong! ‘Tis not the case! Thou art wrong!”

“I say nay.” He made to crumple the packet but stopped. It would be needed as evidence. Whatever foul mixture she had made, the physicians would need it to cure Princess Luna of the illness that had robbed her of so much of her beauty. Wind Racer’s heart swelled at the thought that he would be the one to save her. He would be the one pony, out of every pony in Equestria, who had saved Princess Luna’s life twice over! “Hedgewitch, thou art hereby under arrest by the order of the Royal Lunar Guard. Prithee come quietly, else I have to use this spear upon thee.”

She gulped, eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I have done nothing! Not to her, I … I have done nothing.”

“Thy denials do sound feeble. We shall see whether thou hath done aught – this night or any of those that came before during thy wicked seduction.”

“I did not seduce her!”

“She did seduce thee? A commoner up to her fetlocks in muck? A likely tale indeed! Her highness would not ever have crossed thy path had thou not placed thyself in her way.”

“Nay!”

“Deny all thou wish. I am not so easily drawn into thy lies, hedgewitch.”

Voices outside made his ears prick. The hedgewitch heard them too and her expression morphed into one of relief, which angered him all the more. Even now she expected to make the princess do her bidding? Even now, when her plans had been uncovered, she thought she could manipulate poor Princess Luna into doing her bidding? When she had probably just tried to secretly lay some sort of poison for her in her own bedchamber? Enraged at the hedgewitch’s audacity, his whole body seemed to tremble. Afterwards he could not be sure whether his muscles spasmed or whether he deliberately thrust his spear forward a few inches. It was not a fatal wound but entered the hedgewitch’s haunch, lodging in the muscle. She cried out in pain and tried to back away, all but wrenching the spear from his grasp as she stumbled, pulling herself off the point.

“What was that?” asked one of the voices.

“Remain here, Highness. Thy door hangs open and there are noises within.”

Two guards entered the bedchamber. Wind Racer recognised them both. Swift Wing gaped at the sight of him with weapon drawn, while the other stallion frowned in confusion. It was he who spoke first.

“What is the meaning of this, sir?”

“I did catch this pony attempting to poison her Highness,” Wind racer said without preamble.

This pony?” Swift Wing didn’t sound as though he believed this story.

Wind Racer scowled and held out the packet. “I did take this from her. ‘Tis clearly some hedgewitch concoction she did steal up here to use upon the princess.”

“What are these herbs, mare?” Swift Wing asked.

The hedgewitch, gasping in pain, answered, “I … I know not, good sir. I have no memory of this day save for the past half hour. I did wake outside Princess Celestia’s study bearing these. They do smell of …” She shook her head. “I think I may have been bewitched.”

“A likely story!” Wind Racer thundered. “Do not believe her, Swift Wing. I have told thee before of my suspicions concerning her. This be proof enough of her ill intentions! She doth mean to poison Princess Luna!”

What?”

As one, everypony looked at the door, where Princess Luna stood in apparent shock. She stared at the scene, taking in Wind Racer, the spear, the hedgewitch and the other two guards. Finally her eyes settled on the little paper packet. She crossed the room and took it from Wind Racer, sniffing its contents.

“Nay, Highness!” Wind Racer protested.

Princess Luna wrinkled her nose. “Bridal Tears?” she sniffed again. “Camphony, also. Rotten Heliotrope … Devil Bell-Drop … Blinding Nettle … be these the crushed plants herein?”

“I do not know!” the hedgewitch panted. “Please, Luna, I am hurt … fetch a physician …”

“These plants are poisons all,” Luna said impassively. “Together an even more potent blend. This, hath thou brought to my chambers?”

“N-Nay – I mean, yes, I did bring those herbs, but I did not know what they were. Luna, I have been bewitched. My mind was not my own. I recall laying with thee and then nothing until now. Clover the Clever hath perished and I did not know until I overheard ponies talk of it, yet he hath been dead days! I do not know why I do not remember, nor what I have done in that time.”

“The words of a liar, Highness,” Wind racer snarled. “She seeks to do thee ill.” He then told her how he thought the hedgewitch was responsible for her longstanding illness. “’Twas not until she came to Everfree that thou didst suffer so. It cannot be coincidence – not so in so many ways.”

“Indeed. Coincidence doth seem unlikely,” she agreed.

The hedgewitch stared at her in disbelief. “L-Luna?”

“I will thank thee to name me properly,” said the princess. She raised her face, staring down at the confused, bleeding mare haughtily. “Hedgewitch.”

Fear dawned in the hedgewitch’s eyes. “Thou canst not believe these untruths! I have never meant thee harm, nor done harm to anypony! I brought thee this packet because I was afeared. I did not know where else to turn. I know not why I have them nor where they came from, but I do know I would never use them to harm thee! I … I love thee, Luna!”

“Quiet!” the stallion whose name Wind Racer could not remember stepped forward menacingly. Clearly he did not believe the hedgewitch’s lies and was just as incensed at her words.

“I do love thee!” the hedgewitch cried. “With all my heart do I love thee! Please, Luna, do not forsake me this way!”

Princess Luna looked at the packet of poison in her hoof. Under her cloak she flexed her useless wings and winced. She seemed to come to a decision. “The penalty for attempted murder of thy sovereign is death. ‘Tis the law, plain and true.”

“Nay!” the hedgewitch screamed. “Luna!”

“Yet I am not completely without mercy. Thou shalt stand trial for thy crimes. Wind Racer, Cirrus, take her to the West Tower and hold her there. She shall remain within until such time as I may attend her case.”

The unnamed guard bowed low. Wind Racer copied the move, keeping his spear trained on the hedgewitch in case she tried to run – not that she would get far with an injured leg. Snivelling, she limped between them as they pressed in on her with their taller, armoured bodies. In formation as they had been trained, each pegasus extended a wing over her with feathers spread, signalling to anypony they met that she was under arrest.

“Luna, please, do not do this.” She tried one more time to appeal to the princess, who turned to watch her leave.

“I did trust thee,” she said softly. “I had faith in thee. Yet thou didst betray that faith and instead bring this upon thyself by coming here this night.”

“I betrayed nothing,” the hedgewitch replied brokenly. “I came here because I trust thee also. I had faith that thou wouldst help me understand what hath happened to me.”

Princess Luna stared at her for a long, tense moment. Then she turned away. “Take her to the West Tower. After this night I shall decide whether she remains of use to my Equestria and thus should retain her life.” After a moment’s pause, however, she added, “Swift Wing, inform Captain Diamond to set guards on her prison and bring chains to bind her. Afterwards all three of thee should return here.”

“Thou art to be left unguarded while we perform these tasks, Highness?” Swift Wing asked. “With an attempt on thy life so recently vanquished?”

“Hmm … mayhap thou art correct. Wind Racer?”

His whole body thrilled to hear her say his name. “Yes, Highness?”

“Remain herein. Swift Wing, take his place and thereupon seek out Captain Diamond. Are all orders clear?”

“As moonlight, Highness.” Swift Wing bowed and switched with Wind Racer. Together they led the hedgewitch away, still snivelling and bleeding from her wound.

“Thy spear remains bloody, Wind Racer,” Princess Luna said mildly once they had passed from sight. “Is’t not customary to clean it once its use is done?”

“My apologies, Highness. Uh …” He cast about. He had never actually used his spear on a living creature before. He hadn’t been born during the worst of the griffin conflicts and while his training as a guard had involved combat drills, more time had been given over to parade formalities and the various ways he was to conduct himself amongst the royalty and lesser nobilities in the castle. This was the first time he had spilled actual blood. It didn’t trouble him as much as he had thought it would. “With what should I clean it?”

“It matters not to me,” Princess Luna said airily. “Use the bed sheets. After this night I shall have little use for them.”

Wind Racer assumed she meant she would want the whole room stripped and refurbished to remove any reminder of the betrayal she had suffered. “I am sorry, Highness.”

“Sorry? Wherefore?”

“Thou didst seem to care much for the hedgewitch.”

She looked at the patch of blood on the floor, face turned away from him. “She had her uses,” she said after a moment. “I did hope to retain her services longer than this. A hedgewitch is a useful mind to keep around, since they do not share their secrets with any but their own kind.”

“Highness?” Wind Racer was confused. Had the princess been using the hedgewitch even as the hedgewitch thought she was using the princess? That hadn’t even occurred to him. Princess Luna was intelligent as well as lovely. His admiration snuffed out any frustration he might have felt that his rescue of her was not, in fact, a rescue at all if she already knew the hedgewitch was not all she seemed. Nor did he think less of her for using the earth pony as a simple bedmate. Kings and queens of ancient times had concubines, didn’t they? He could forgive Princess Luna anything.

She sniffed the air, as she had done at his selection a month earlier, and looked at him. “Thy deeds this night prove thy faithfulness, Wind Racer. Thou didst seek to defend me against any who would do me ill. Thy conduct since thy elevation to the Moon Guard hath been exceptional.”

“I would lay down my life for thee, Highness.”

“Indeed.” She looked at him thoughtfully. “What else wouldst thou lay down for me?”

“Highness?” Damn it, his wings were twitching. Maybe he should have taken Swift Wing’s advice and found some salt peter. What did she mean by that?

“Thy life is mine, Wind Racer?” She took a step towards him. “Thy body also?”

Hope and disbelief tussled inside him. Surely she couldn’t mean … no, it was too unlikely. And yet … she had taken the hedgewitch to her bed. Why not one of her guards? Why not a faithful stallion to wipe away the memory of a traitorous mare? “H-Highness?”

“Dost thou like my night, Wind Racer?”

He swallowed. “I love it, Highness. Each one is beautiful. ‘Tis a shame other ponies do not appreciate it as they should.”

“Thy answer pleases me.” She advanced. “Very much. What would thy devotion look like in the flesh, I wonder?” She stopped in front of him, smiled and asked, “Shall we find out?”

Wind Racer opened his mouth to speak but didn’t get the chance. Princess Luna’s horn glowed, yet not with the bright light he was accustomed to. Dark magical energy swirled around it and around him. He grunted as intense cold radiated outward from the centre of his chest. His limbs became heavy and his wings felt strange.

“Thy loyalty doth encourage me to make thee more fully of my night,” Princess Luna purred. “Lust is such an expedient catalyst. Thou art the first, Wind Racer, but not the last. Thy dark devotion shall spread through thee and thy touch. Thou art my devotee, my weapon and now my champion.”

Her champion? He tried to look at her but all he could see was swirling, sparkling darkness, as if the night sky had swallowed him and was remaking him. His wings ripped and unravelled, feathers and bones dissolving into starshire. He tried to scream but had no breath. New wings speared from the remnants of the old. The world became sharper as his vision changed to better suit the dark. His mane and tail hardened and his fur darkened to steely grey as his heart beat waves of cold through him. In one final burst, the cold swept through his mind, purifying his thoughts and leaving behind only icy certainty.

Obey.

“Wind Racer?” said Princess Luna.

He stood, feeling strong and powerful. He flexed his new leathery wings, swiping experimentally with the barbs at the joints and tips. He bowed lower than he ever had before. “I hear thee and obey, my queen.”

She smiled. It was full of sharp teeth. Her eyes flickered briefly turquoise. “Good boy.”