209.1 (Masterweaver)
[Immediately after the expansion in which Buckball became a thing]
"So." Scootaloo glanced around the small arena. "Buckball."
Apple Bloom kicked a rubber sphere lightly. "Eeeeeyup."
Sweetie Belle tested the weight of a basket. "Well then."
The cutie mark crusaders took in their surroundings.
"...you know, all things considered," Scootaloo mused, "It's... kind of underwhelming."
"Ah know, right?" Apple Bloom tossed the ball over her shoulder. "Just a kicker and a goalie?"
"And a mobile goalpost," Sweetie Belle added, catching the ball with ease. "It's pretty basic."
They stood in silence for a few seconds.
"We are going ta tweak the spruce outta this, ain't we?" Apple Bloom asked rhetorically.
Scootaloo grinned. "Okay, now you're speaking my language. Double team size, for one."
"Can we use the baskets as tennis rackets?" Sweetie Belle suggested. "Oh, and what if..."
209.2 (Wixelt)
Pronk Latin
"Ilight-tway?"
"Es-yay, Arity-ray?"
"Y-whay an-cay e-way only-yay eak-spay in-yay Ig-pay Atin-lay?"
"Ell-way..." Ilight-tway owned-fray o-tay erself-hay, en-thay ook-shay er-hay ead-hay, "Actually-yay, I-yay only-yay ust-jay Awoke-yay. I-yay as-way ondering-way if-yay ou-yay ould-cay ell-tay e-may."
"Ell-way, it-yay asn't-way ike-lay is-thay at-yay e-thay eginning-bay of-yay e-thay oop-lay, I-yay assure-yay ou-yay." Arity-ray olled-ray er-hay eyes-yay, "I-yay uppose-say e're-way ucky-lay e-way an-cay actually-yay understand-yay it-yay. Even-yay our-yay oughts-thay are-yay encoded-yay ike-lay is-thay, it-yay ould-way eem-say."
"In-yay at-thay ase-cay, ances-chay are-yay it's-yay a-yay anch-bray itch-glay, or-yay omething-say ike-lay at-thay." e-thay Anchor-yay used-may, efore-bay odding-nay o-tay erself-hay, "I-yay ight-may ave-hay an-yay idea-yay ow-nay."
"Oh-yay?"
"I-yay ow-knay Inkie's-pay een-bay attempting-yay o-tay ispose-day of-yay e-thay Oncept-'cay of-yay Uil'-cay e-shay ot-gay om-fray e-thay Arp-way after-yay our-yay..." e-thay unicorn-yay uddered-shay, "...Incident-yay. E-shay idn't-day ant-way o-tay ave-hay o-tay ask-yay or-fay Eipnir's-slay elp-hay eaning-clay it-yay up-yay, o-say I-yay ould-cay easily-yay ee-say accidentally-yay ashing-cray e-thay ative-nay anguage-lay eing-bay a-yay ild-may ide-say effect-yay of-yay one-yay of-yay er-hay attempts-yay." e-shay owned-fray, "At-thay are-may is-yay oing-gay o-tay et-gay uch-say a-yay ecture-lay ater-lay."
"...ild-may, arling-day?"
"Elieve-bay e-may, etween-bay is-thay and-yay e-thay ing-thay ith-way e-thay inary-bay, e're-way etting-gay off-yay ightly-lay ow-nay."
Sane Person Translation:
"Twilight?"
"Yes, Rarity?"
"Why can we only speak in Pig Latin?"
"Well..." Twilight frowned to herself, then shook her head, "Actually, I only just Awoke. I was wondering if you could tell me."
"Well, it wasn't like this at the beginning of the loop, I assure you." Rarity rolled her eyes, "I suppose we're lucky we can actually understand it. Even our thoughts are encoded like this, it would seem."
"In that case, chances are it's a branch glitch, or something like that." the Anchor mused, before nodding to herself, "I might have an idea now."
"Oh?"
"I know Pinkie's been attempting to dispose of the 'Concept of Cuil' she got from the Warp after our..." the unicorn shuddered, "...Incident. She didn't want to have to ask for Sleipnir's help cleaning it up, so I could easily see accidentally crashing the native language being a mild side effect of one of her attempts." she frowned, "That mare is going to get such a lecture later."
"...mild, darling?"
"Believe me, between this and the thing with the binary, we're getting off lightly now."
209.3 (Masterweaver)
[Shortly after the Season 7 Finale]
Chrysalis Awoke.
Instantly her mind was on overdrive, letting out a ping as she took in her memories. The Hive Mind was becoming less and less common after the latest expansion, which meant she had to put more thought into how to upend the very society she had instated. She worked some kricks out of her neck--Trixie had had some interesting things to say about her newfound flexibility--before looking about the chamber. Ah, yes, there was Thorax, trying to avoid getting anyone's attention; he was always useful as a 'hero' to peg her sudden change on, even if he usually ended up looking like a moose in a tuxedo designed by a color-blind pony. And yes, there was the throne--she couldn't just destroy it without arousing suspicion, but once it was destroyed, she could always pull a Trixie and say it had been corrupting her and controlling her mind.
Ah, quite a few pings back. She ran through the element checks, smiling as she picked up multiples of every kind; always better to scheme with friends. Quickly moving out of her subject's view, Chrysalis unpocketed and sent a few scrolls to the bearers of Loyalty; true, she could scry for the other loopers herself, but she always felt more at ease running an intelligence network then just hitting the easy button. And, oh, the hive seemed to have some particularly unique biotech this loop, Twilight and Trixie would no doubt want to know about... well, she could gather it up later.
For the moment, she walked through the nursery hives. There were fewer grubs this time round... but that could easily be remedied later. The caretakers quavered at her attention, and she momentarily wanted to reach out, reassure them. She steeled herself, though; Chrysalis before had been harsh but fair, aside from her lies about love feeding, and she couldn't afford to look as though she had changed. Yet. She resolved to personally thank and reward these matrons as soon as she had imposed the changes.
Yes, it was a subversion of baseline. But as Chrysalis walked out of the hive, onto a balcony, and stared at the wasteland around her, she couldn't help but smile. Baseline could jump a dog, for all she cared. She had friends, lovers, and soon a family. What more was there she could want?
209.4 (Vinylshadow)
Alex Mercer yawned and stretched, arching his back like a cat as he flexed his wings and rolled his head on his neck, sighing in bliss as everything snapped, cracked, and popped back into place.
Scouting for Chrysalis was about as exciting as watching paint dry, but finding places to leech love from where it wouldn't bring the wrath of the royal sisters down on the changeling's heads usually meant going far from established cities like Manehatten and Fillydelphia, and it uncovered new locations to teleport to if he ever wanted to be alone, or bring Derpy and Dinky out to for a picnic.
Unfortunately, it was blisteringly cold in the mountains and there wasn't much of anything to see. As he prepared to head back, a sound caught his attention - no small feat thanks to the weather - and a bright light lit up the snow.
Alex found himself staring at a dark maroon-ish pony, and his eyes were instantly drawn to the shattered horn on its head.
"Can't say I expected to run into anyone out here. And you are...?" Alex asked politely.
"None of your business," the pony replied, her voice colder than the biting wind.
Alex gazed at her for a moment before assuming her form. With an intact horn, no less. He idly examined his hooves and glanced at his flank.
"Storm King, correct?" he asked the dumbfounded mare. "Haven't actually met him, but I've heard stories." He stroked his chin thoughtfully before his eyes lit up. "Ah, you must be Miss Shadow. Tempest. Whatever."
"How dare you," the mare growled, her eyes mere slits as she glared at him. Alex noted her gaze kept flicking to the horn on his head and he dismissed the shape, returning to his natural form.
"Dare I do," he said, before blinking. "Alright, not the order I wanted that to come out in, but whatcha gonna do? I don't suppose you want to talk somewhere less freezing cold? I'm freezing off bits of anatomy I didn't know I had."
Tempest let out a snort - of derision or mirth, Alex wasn't quite sure - and shook her head. "Stand aside," she said imperiously. "If this is what Equestria has to offer, then the Storm King has nothing to fear."
Alex flicked a wing and the storm instantly abated, the howling winds going silent and the falling snow vanishing.
"Sorry," Alex said nonchalantly. "I was having trouble hearing you. Could you please repeat that?"
Tempest's eyes were as wide as dinner plates. "How did you do that?"
Alex shrugged. "Weather manipulation and control is second nature to a third of Equestria's inhabitants. Well, if you combine the unicorn and pegasi side of things." He ran an eye over Tempest and tilted his head. "You look Equestrian, shouldn't you know this?"
Tempest didn't say anything and Alex sighed. "Well, knowing how things usually go around here, I'm guessing you joined the Storm King because he promised you something. Your horn? You do know he's not going to honor that deal, right?"
"I know that," Tempest said. "I have plans for when the time comes to claim what is rightfully mine."
Alex winced. "How many times did you practice that one in the mirror? Not bad, but the cliché isn't nearly thick enough. How's your evil laugh? Have you tried deepening your voice slightly when talking about plotting things? I hear that helps."
"Shut up," Tempest growled, horn sparking. "Stop acting like you know everything."
"If only you knew," Alex muttered under his breath, before clearing his throat. "I know a good… two dozen or so ponies here who could help you get your horn back, with none of the backstabbing that you'd find elsewhere. Heck, even I could restore it."
Tempest stared at him, wariness warring with longing on her face. "I've been promised many things before," she said. "How do I know you won't betray me like everyone else?"
"Because I've got plenty of friends to help me with my problems. For all its contrivances and platitudes, friendship is pretty much the best thing ever in Equestria and is second only to the power of love."
This time, the snort was definitely one of mirth. "Now who's been practicing lines in the mirror?" Tempest said dryly.
"I had a live audience of one foal and a very snarky stallion for mine," Alex retorted. "They were both extremely rude about my acting skills, but they're family, so that's to be expected."
"Hmph," Tempest tossed her head. "So, what, I'm supposed to follow you to whomever can fix my horn, or what? Do you have some way to contact them?"
With a pop, Celestia abruptly appeared behind Alex, and Tempest took a wary step back, eyes flicking from Alex to Celestia.
"Oh good, Derpy was correct," Celestia said in relief. She then teleported directly in front of Tempest and examined the dumbstruck mare. "It's only surface level damage. Easy enough to fix."
Her horn glowed yellow and Tempest's head was briefly obscured in a swirling vortex of magic, which then sucked itself inward, leaving Tempest reeling. Celestia magicked up a mirror and held it in front of the mare, who stared at her intact horn in disbelief.
"I… wha… how… who… bwuh?"
"A simple "thank you" will suffice," Celestia said with a smile, which slowly faded. "Disappointing that my little ponies don't come to me with these kinds of problems, nor do parents raise their children right." She sighed gustily and flicked her wings. "You're welcome, and Equestria will always be your home, and I imagine that the ponies you abruptly ditched when your horn broke will be overjoyed to see you again."
Tempest's head snapped back and she stared at Celestia fearfully. "How do you know that?"
"Would you believe me if I said I've met three mares very similar to you, and taught two of them myself?" Celestia asked with a smirk. "Headaches, the lot of them, but that's just the way things go around here. Now we really should be getting out of the cold. Have you teleported before?"
"Uh, no," Tempest said, glancing at Alex, who was watching the proceedings silently. He gave her a reassuring nod and Tempest relaxed slightly. "First time for everything, I guess?"
"That's the spirit," Celestia said cheerfully, before turning to Alex. "Do you need a lift?"
"Nah, I'm doing something for Chrysalis," Alex said.
"Hm...I see. Well, good luck with that, and I suspect we'll be meeting again shortly once ponies start screaming about changelings again," Celestia said.
"Maybe this time you won't be captured without a fight," Alex said, sticking out his tongue.
"Two times and you never hear the end of it," Celestia lamented, before turning back to Tempest. "Now then, where do you live...?"
Alex watched the two mares teleport away, and turned the weather back on before continuing onwards.
209.5 (Masterweaver)
[Shortly after the Season 7 Finale, again]
"Let me guess: You're depressed over the Thorax thing."
Chrysalis sighed. "Part of it is him." She rolled over in her throne. "And part of it is the hive mind almost certainly not being baseline, and part of it is the fact that I'm apparently starving my children, and... I mean... come on. We feed off love, right, why is it that it's the crazy alicorn or the spirit of chaos or the pony who freakin' created other timelines that get redemptions?"
Trixie walked up, nuzzling her gently. "Hey, you know you're better than baseline."
"Because I got lucky and had that one loop. That ONE loop. Where the alicorns were evil." The queen of changelings, scourge of Equestria, terror of realms, examined her hole-filled black hoof. "I see myself as a ruler of a nation. The mother of a race. The paragon of the changelings... and all that was taken from me in one swoop."
"Well... you've still got me." The blue unicorn pushed herself under her marefriend's foreleg. "And you've got friends in Equestria."
"That's not it, though. It's... am I still Chrysalis?"
"Hmm?"
"I mean... I know I've changed. But when I look in the mirror, I wonder... would she recognize me? The baseline Chrysalis? Would I even know her?" Her thorax expanded with a deep breath. "And... that's kind of a problem for us all, isn't it?"
"Being different from baseline? Yeah." Trixie chuckled. "You know what Spike told me? Apparently my baseline self only just started figuring out 'real' unicorn magic. I mean, yeah, I've been more sleight of hoof being a performer and all, but that teacup obsession? At least I know why Yggdrasil's putting me in so many tea parties now."
"Mmm." Chrysalis let her hoof drop, tightening her grip. "See, I'm wondering if we're... I don't know. I feel like we're completely off course now. Like every expansion we say, 'oh that's cute' and then just ignore it and move on. And... what's the point, then? Why do we bother defining our awake and unawake selves? The divide is so large, we're two separate individuals--six in the case of Lyra--and I'm not sure if I should say I or her when referring to the baseline queen of changelings."
"...Hmm. So this is an identity crisis?"
"...basically."
"We~ll," Trixie mused. "I can safely say you're you, and what makes you you is how you have decided to be you."
Chrysalis snorted. "Yes, that's very helpful and not at all abstract."
"I aim to please." The unicorn gave her a peck on the nose. "This is one of those things I think doesn't have an easy answer. I'll be here whenever I'm Awake to help you work through it, but it'll probably take a while."
"Will you be here when I'm not Awake?"
"Do you want me to be?"
Chrysalis frowned. "I am ambivalent to such a situation."
"Well, then... sure. I'll give it a shot once or twice, just to figure out what's going on."
"Heh. Alright."
The two of them rested quietly for a few moments, listening to the chittering of chitin all around them.
"...we should probably go reform the hive," Chrysalis eventually said, sighing standing with a stretch.
"Yeah. How are you going to pull that off?"
"Well, with you here, we can pull off the whole 'cleansing of a dark spirit' routine and work from there..."
209.6 (Wixelt)
Moon vs. Apple
*CRASH*
Celestia was abruptly Awoken, in both senses of the term, to a cacophony. Groaning tiredly, she picked herself up from her bed and slunk toward the door of her chambers, sending out a quick Ping that, much to her annoyance, received no returns, which, unless this was a stealth prank, meant whatever the mayhem outside was, it wasn't Looper-caused.
Shrugging as she attempted to get her bearings, the solar monarch righted herself, before gripping the door handle with her magic and pulling it ajar.
The scene before her was a war-zone, in a manner of speaking. The atrium that sat between her sibling's room and hers this loop was an absolute mess, scorch marks covering the walls, wallpaper and decorations alike smouldering with glowing embers. Various vases and the like lay shattered on the floor, knocked from their pedestals by the mayhem, though thankfully Celestia's loop memories told her most of them were relatively cheap and purely decorative, so there was little lost there.
What was worrying, though, was the shell-shocked blue alicorn huddled in the corner, only recently recovered from the moon, given the time-frame.
"Luna?" Celestia frowned, dashing across to her unAwake sibling, "Is everything alright?"
"I-" the night mare shook her head, "We are fine." she shuddered, evidently a little embarrassed as she looked over her sister's shoulder, "Though we may have overexerted ourselves somewhat."
Following Luna's gaze, Celestia found herself looking at, of all things, an apple, sitting motionless on a table in the centre of the room, not a scratch on it despite more of the same gouged into the surface around it. Slowly, an understanding and faintly amused smile graced her lips. She knew the sort of the loop this was.
Occasionally, a version of Luna would, upon being freed from her role as Nightmare Moon, lose a lot of her fine motor skills and grasp over magic, though not the power that came with being an alicorn. It was often why, upon her initial redemption, she looked so different than in her later Baseline interactions. Sometimes, this meant things that would be simple for even a grade school unicorn, such as, say, using magic to cut an apple in half, would be a struggle at first, power incontinence causing a noteworthy light show.
That said, the apple was something Celestia had used as a metaphor when describing these loops to an Awake Luna, and not something she'd actually encountered before now. It was bound to come sooner or later, but the princess couldn't help but feel like Yggdrasil was having one over on her.
Or on her sister, which she really didn't appreciate.
"It's alright, Lulu, I'm here." she nodded, helping Luna to her hooves, "Do you want me to help?"
"We appreciate the offer, but it's quite alright." the mistress of the night managed a weak smile, "We-" she coughed, realising her nervous tick, "I knew this would be an issue, but I would rather get through it myself."
"If you wish, but I am here if you need me." Celestia offered a comforting hoof, "I always will be."
"Thank you, sister."
Celestia giggled quietly to herself, watching as Luna simply scooped up the apple and bit into it, taking a break in favour of actually eating. It was moments like this that, despite the strife that came with them, she looked forward to. That kept her grounded when the Luna she'd lived with for so long in the loops wasn't there beside her. That reminded her that, Awake or not, this was her little sister. Her closest and most precious companion.
And she would stand by her forever, rain or shine.
209.7 (Masterweaver) [MLP/RWBY]
An Equestrian Viewpoint
[Some time ago…
Cinder blinked Awake, glanced down at her hooves, took in the large number of pings, and let out a slow sigh. "Welp. I'm screwed." A few of the ponies around her gave her odd looks at that, but she simply shrugged them off and started trotting down a dirt road. "Maybe I can get out of here before--"
"CINDER FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!"
Cinder took a sharp breath, reflexively bracing herself.
A few seconds passed.
"...Pinkie, if I open my eyes, what am I going to see?"
"I'm afraid I can't answer that, Cinder."
Very slowly, very cautiously, Cinder let one eye open. Inches from her face was another pony's, a pink pony's face, one with bright blue eyes and a terrifyingly flat expression.
"So." Cinder opened her other eye and took a breath. "You, uh.... heard."
"Ye-ep-ph."
"Yeah, so... I, uh. Well." Cinder rubbed the back of her head. "I'm guessing you want me to explain some things."
"One or two," Pinkie allowed. "Mostly, why didn't you tell me about your internal conflict? The whole point of the looping sith ladies is to discuss things like that."
"Because looking weak in front of a group of darksiders is generally a suicidal decision." Cinder coughed into her hoof. "Also because, you know, I thought it was just something I should figure out on my own."
Pinkie tilted her head. "...You and I are going to have a long discussion later."
"Oh joy."
"A long, serious discussion," Pinkie clarified. "With words. No eldritch powers."
Cinder flinched. "You know, that somehow makes it even worse."
"Mwa. Ha. Ha." The pony's voice was bereft of any humor, her expression still the unmoving mask.
"...So." Cinder rolled her hoof. "I'm guessing that you and the rest of your crew are, um, already going into full psychoanalysis mode, since I'm here--"
"Pretty much, yeah."
"...aaaand I suppose you're not the only one that wants to talk to me--"
"Not by a long shot."
Cinder nodded. "Right. Um." She took a breath. "Would... it help if I said I was sorry, and that I'm being more open about myself these days, and that I'm... working to appease my urges in a way that both helps me and keeps from hurting as many others as possible?"
Pinkie considered her for a moment. "...It might."
"Right."
They stood there for a few silent moments.
"...So." The pink pony produced a pastry. "Cupcakes are traditional, but you might like a cookie better."
"Well. Yes...?" Cinder took the cookie warily. "Do you, um. Do you know if any other loopers from Remnant are here?"
"Perhaps." Pinkie took a breath. "We have a number of redeemed villains, even in baseline. You... went quite a bit further then they did, and technically you're not our problem. But..."
She sighed. "Ruby told us about the list. And if Remnant's loopers are willing to give you a chance, we should too."
"Oh." Cinder blinked. "I... well... thank you."
"It's what we do." Pinkie turned. "If you'll excuse me, I've got to start up Twilight's usual 'welcome to Ponyville' party. I expect to see you there."
209.8 (Wixelt)
The Key is 'Pinkiepie'
"Ievvqkwb?"
"Cta, Ekzmig?"
"Gjqyc?"
"Kyxtw." Ievvqkwb rdlqol, jgwacqaq, "Aldcps zrktpn pekm tsdic Xmcsvo blpb ptkgezi qmjdzr gm lpl xd lrkt axbl lpnd Q'q pawjuvxo mh asbm zkvrtz su Dvqmrtzi Rqcrmv."
"Nwy uweqwx?" Givxbl acmgsis ia ogiqzsl.
"Auo pehv'x qmrx Iapsi hqamm xwm ppag dqqt, irs Q uklr'i osibrx blt tirbhbm tgmtpzrn bltv, wd grc, Q jdzkdb." grm tjztam cyvc hpsds uoz ltih, "Pngoz xwqw, ipbeol..." hpi hbnwxis pig pbyn, "Ctx. Kdqaq bs iipz bb rmv cwa."
"Xn lyc jxvh wme, dmpa pig bb cbse blxa. V nw icrsn whb beasw, qcg dpihm tpzgskyaiv qwhda egm ktbgsvk hwqteukb xtlmdcf."
Sane Person Translation:
"Twilight?"
"Yes, Rarity?"
"Cuils?"
"Cuils." Twilight nodded, frowning, "Should really have given Pinkie that lecture before we had to deal with what I'm assuming is some manner of Vigenere Cipher."
"You forgot?" Rarity quirked an eyebrow.
"She hasn't been Awake since the last time, and I hadn't gotten the lecture prepared then, so yes, I forgot." the purple pony shook her head, "After this, though..." she stamped her hoof, "Yep. Going to talk to her now."
"If you find her, tell her to stop this. I do enjoy our talks, but these particular bouts are getting somewhat tedious."
209.9 (Masterweaver)
Luna Awoke, not on the dusty surface of the moon, but in the lavish halls of Canterlot. Her first thought was that this was another variant where her sister had been the mad one--but as she let out a ping, an all too familiar presence rounded in her mind, suspicious and wary.
Nyx? No, Nyx would be less... antagonistic.
Her unique situation had long ago taught Luna to not act before her examining her loop memories; sometimes the Nightmare was far stronger or more devious than she anticipated, and giving any leverage by mistake--or harming an innocent--could result poorly. She held off the curious and increasingly worried probes of her other self as she perused her memories thoughtfully, idly counting the pings as they came in. Yes, yes, semi-standard contract with a spirit slash demon slash parasite, did not read the fine print, and... ah, Celestia had dropped the elements at the last minute, out of guilt most likely. And she had imprisoned her on the sun, and then Nightmare had taken full control...
...oh, that was interesting. She hadn't plunged the world into eternal night. Well, more accurately she stopped the night when ponies started dying, and stopped starting wars when too many ponies died, and... well, mellowed out and become a decent ruler. Still one with so much blood on her hooves, but not as horrible as she could be.
Luna gave a mental nod, turning back to the now panicked parasite. "Miss Moon, may I have a moment to examine our contract? I would like to renegotiate the allowances and limitations of my donation of bodily presence to your form."
"I've told you a thousand times, foal, you will never be rid of me--!"
"Oh, I'm not kicking you out or anything like that. I simply wish to stretch my wings on occasion. I promise, you'll still be queen by the end of this."
The Nightmare paused, swirling darkly. "...All contracts are final."
"True, but that does not mean they cannot be superseded by a later contract. Might I suggest a test? Introduce me to your student," and Twilight was once again in the position of Princess's favored, "and I shall show that I can be cordial to modern ponies without subverting you."
"...No." The Nightmare shook their head. "I don't trust you, you're planning something."
"But of course. The question is whether I shall let you in on the plan."
"...You're not Luna. Luna is not so confident."
"But if I'm not Luna, then what am I?" The moon princess gave a mental grin. "After all, you and I are the only ones in here."
The Nightmare... frowned. "...what have you done with her?"
"Hmm, now why should I tell you that? After all, I am asserting that I am Luna. Saying anything to the contrary would weaken my position."
"I refuse to deal with you until you return her!"
Luna sighed. "And I had hoped to resolve this peacefully."
"What-- How did--?!"
"Please." Luna shoved the Nightmare away from the part of her mind that controlled her body. "I am far older than you think, or can even imagine. I could destroy you completely, without a care. But oddly enough, I do care about you. That is why I am willing to renegotiate this contract you had. In fact..." She went over the deal in her head musingly. "Ah. Yes. I think I can do that."
In a fit of irony, the alicorn unpocketed a plushie of herself and, with a brief burst of magic, tied the Nightmare to it. "There. Now, if anyone asks, you are Princess Woona and you've been adopted by Queen Nightmare Moon. If you'll excuse me, I need to go talk to our student."
"You can't do this--!"
"I can, and I have. If you keep protesting, I will suspend your dessert privileges."
209.10 (Wixelt) [MLP/Half-Life/Freelancer/Fairy Tail/RWBY]
Activation Bet
“Want to make a bet?”
“Hm?” Sunset Shimmer blinked, looking up from her glass, and away from Angel Bunny, playing cards with Zwei at the next table over, at the neurotic scientist sat opposite. A wry smile developing on her face, she set it down, “Oh? What kind of bet? Seems a bit spur of the moment…”
“We’re Loopers.” Gordon Freeman deadpanned through his alcohol, “It kinda comes with the territory.”
“Point taken. Your terms?”
“Well… Y’know how my own special little hell is fairly Looper-lite?” the physicist shrugged, “And Ponyland hasn’t had any fresh meat in a long time?”
“Equestria.” Sunset rolled her eyes, not wholly impressed, “And no. I was one of our last, and that was…” she stopped, frowning, taking several moments to count on her fingers before giving up, “Well, it was sometime between the Crash and Billy.”
“Exactly. We haven’t had much movement between us, and these two chuckle-pops probably get the same.” He scowled, “Damn flapping anti-cursing variant…”
“Brought it on yourself.” The leather-jacketed man sat next to Gordon smirked to himself, the blonde on the other side of him humming in agreement, “And sure, compare us.” Trent rolled his eyes, returning to his own beverage, “Not like I’m less than a million years old or something…”
“And Earthland has more Loopers than both of your branches combined, so, um, please don’t.” the blonde, one Lucy Heartfilia grimaced in disapproval, “Though this bet does sound interesting.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Gordon muttered, before his grin came back, “So! Terms are, whoever has new blood activate first wins.”
“A new Looper bet? That’s it?”
“Hey, sometimes simple is the best approach, bacon head.”
“As you best demonstrate.” Sunset shot back flatly, “Very mature, by the way. I can see you’re doing wonders with your limited vocabulary.” She paused midway through lifting her glass, looking back at the Anchor curiously, “What do we get if we win?”
“Well, a shared pool is the only thing I’d be interested in.” Gordon smirked, unpocketing a gravity gun, a mechanical grappling hook, and a couple of AR2s, all clearly tuned up excessively, as was appropriate for a Looper, “Anything else would be a pile of abs.” his face went red for a second, then he scowled again, “Fruitcake!”
“Same to you.” Trent chuckled, “Alright. I’ve got a few spare ships I could offer. I’m in.”
“We haven’t had anyone new in a while, so maybe…” Lucy thought for a moment, then nodded, “Okay. This might be fun. I can throw in a lot of magic items from home and other branches.”
“And I can throw in a few trinkets from when I was a Travelling Looper. As well as-” Sunset began, grinning, but stopped as she felt small paws tugging on her jacket. Looking down, she saw a certain looping lagomorph staring up at her with an intense stare. She sighed, “Yes, Angel, what is it?”
There was a thud as the bunny abruptly unpocketed a large, heavy binder, dropping it into Sunset’s lap. The equine turned human hurked for a moment, then drew in a deep breath, lifting it onto the table. Slowly, she peered at the label on the front.
“…how did you manage to get ‘Legitimate Blackmail on Pinkie Pie’?” Sunset eyed the white fluff-ball of death in confusion, “Far as I can tell, she’s not self conscious enough to care about most of the stuff that- Oh.” She stopped, realizing she somehow answered her own question, eyes boggling incredulously, “How long did it take you gather all this? This folder’s thicker than my arm!”
Angel Bunny briefly started signing something, then stopped apparently fed up of being unable to talk this loop and pulled a sheet of paper out of his pocket, writing on it.
‘1 Loop, or more specifically only a few minutes.’
“…geez. Must’ve been… something.”
“You’re flugle-ing telling me.” Gordon said, then growled, “You’ve got to be kidding me! That wasn’t even a real word!”
“…dirt on one of the most powerful Loopers out there. Seems like too much power for any one person.” Lucy mused, then smiled cheekily, “Okay, now I’m definitely in.”
“Should probably check it, tho- Ow!” Sunset recoiled from trying to open the folder as Angel, suddenly standing on the table, harshly slapped her hand away, shaking his head. She grumbled, rubbing her wrist, “Fine, fine… But I want to read this if we win, okay?”
Angel hesitated for a moment, then nodded reluctantly.
“Mind if I pitch in too?” a new voice cut in, Zwei padding over from the table Angel had abandoned him from, “Sounds like it could be good time.”
“…doesn’t Remnant get new Loopers like clockwork?” Trent raised an eyebrow, “I’m sure that’s how your branch does things. New Loopers after every block of expansions? Seems a little unfair.”
“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” Zwei replied ineffectually, then chuckled, “Fine. Maybe it would be an improper advantage.”
“…we could do with an officiator, though.” Sunset offered after a moment, “Someone impartial to hold on to all the prizes for the duration and call foul if need be.”
“I’d be honored.” The canine nodded, tail wagging slightly, “Would I, perchance, have access to the prizes in this time period?”
Angel eyed his blackmail folder, then sighed and gave an affirmative gesture to the dog.
“…Alright.” Zwei piped up, taking his new role in stride, “All in favor of the bet, its rules and conditions, and once they’re set, its prize pool?”
“Yeah.”
“Works for me.”
“Funk it. All good here.”
“Sure.”
“…”
“In that case, may the spoken record show that the Activation Bet-”
“…is that what we’re calling it now?” Trent mumbled.
“-has been made, and that all objects submitted to me before the end of this loop will be considered part of the prize pool.” the pet of Remnant’s Anchor barked, “Let the record show that this has been accepted…”
Everyone muttered in agreement.
“…with the caveat that no Looper may try to force new Loopers to win the bet.”
Several censored swears came from around the table, Zwei laughing quietly to himself.
209.11 (Masterweaver) [MLP/RWBY]
"...and, well, that's how we ended up together," the griffon finished, awkwardly rubbing her feathers. "It's been a rocky ride, sometimes, but definitely one worth the bumps."
The white unicorn next to her whistled low. "Twigs and branches, Blake, if that's what it takes to get your attention I don't want to know what you two do for anniversaries!"
"Oh you know." A yellow earth pony wrapped her foreleg around the frowning griffon. "We spar, generally in exotic locales. Like the volcano that one time, or you remember when we rode the grimm dragon--"
"Yang."
"Heh." The pony beamed. "Kidding, kidding. Seriously though, Vinyl, we usually just do ordinary couple things. Dates, cuddling, maybe some Grimmslaying on the side, bouts of sex on occasion. That sort of thing."
"Cool, cool." The unicorn waved a hoof at the gray mare sitting next to her. "Me and Tavi are mostly the same, just replace Grimmslaying with jam sessions."
"I'm... actually quite amazed you make your relationship work," Blake mused. "I mean, you're looping and she's not. No offense, Octavia--"
"Oh, none taken." The gray mare nodded. "I suppose it must seem as strange to you as... well, the loops in general seem to me."
"And hey," Vinyl added, "you got stabbed in the gut and she lost an arm. If you made it work after that expansion, you've got no call to say our relationship has problems."
"I didn't mean it like that. It was a good sort of amazement."
"Honestly Vinyl," the mare jibed, "don't go putting words in pony's mouths. Or griffons, or... human?"
"Faunus."
"Right, yes. People, in general."
"You know, I think we have an Octavia in Remnant?" Yang tilted her head. "I mean, she looks nothing like you--not even like how I think you'd look like as a human--and she's a member of team NDGO who... we don't actually interact with that much. Just, same name."
"Really?" The gray mare tilted her head. "That's quite the coincidence."
"It's a big multiverse. You'd be amazed how many Rubies and Blakes there are out there." The yellow pony took a swig from her mug. "Heck, given how much Yggdrasil likes puns, you might end up replacing her some loop."
"Or she might end up replacing you," Blake added.
"Hmmm." Octavia turned to her marefriend. "Vinyl, will you promise that you'll make sure you have the right Octavia every loop before you give her my journal?"
"Of course! Although I'm going to have to ask what this other Octavia looks like so I know what to look for--variants, you know?"
"Here." Blake handed over a picture. "She's the one with red hair."
"Oh, that'll be a big tip-off." Vinyl looked over the image carefully. "And... I can't quite tell through this skirt, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't have the rear end my Tavi has--"
"V-Vinyl!" The gray mare shoved her with a blush. "Don't be so, so--crass!"
"What? I love all of you, babe, your artsy soul, your loving heart, and your sweet fine flanks! Besides," the unicorn added with a smirk, "if I can't tell you're not you at a glance, what good am I?"
"She's got a point," Yang agreed. "Booty identification is an important part of any relationship."
Blake narrowed her eyes, pulling Yang's foreleg off her neck. "Don't you dare, Yang. Don't you even dare."
"I know that my life has been changed by a perfect Bellabooty."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh." The griffon let her head fall to the bar surface. "I don't even know why TVTropes has that listed."
Octavia blinked. "TVTropes?"
"Hub-world mass-databank shared information virtual filing cabinet devoted to the analysis of fictional works and their components, with a slightly silly streak," Vinyl explained. "Gah, it's hard to describe the internet."
"A library of libraries with varying quality control all accessible through a single book with one ever-changing page," Yang suggested.
"...Okay," Octavia said slowly. "I... think I get it. Kind of. But.... Bellabooty?"
"It's a meme. Heck, it's in the top ten on the RWBY meme page." Yang grinned. "So you know, kind of a big deal."
Blake allowed her head to lift a few inches before she let it fall on the bar surface again.
"Okay, yeah, I'll grant that's impressive." Vinyl wrapped a foreleg around Octavia's neck. "But the best butt in the multiverse belongs to this mare."
"V-VINYL!"
Yang narrowed her eyes. "Really? Prove it."
The unicorn grinned, producing a sheaf of papers and slamming it on the bar. Despite herself, Blake couldn't help but let her eyes tilt up to read the title.
"'A Comparative Analysis on the Visual, Sexual, and Psychological Appeal Of Buttocks and the Preferred Construction and Consistency Therein, Alongside a Qualitative List of Individuals Meeting some or all such Standards...'"
She looked up at Vinyl. "You made a thesis statement?"
"Yep."
"About how Octavia has the best butt in the multiverse."
"Had to back up my claims."
Blake looked at the paper. "...Octavia, have you read this?"
The gray mare sighed with a blush. "...Unfortunately, yes."
"Do you mind if I do?"
"Mmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggh. I, ugh. I mean, it's flattering, I suppose, I just... I don't know."
"Well I'm reading it," Yang declared, grabbing the papers. "I've got to defend my lady's honor!"
"I don't have honor."
"Fine, I'll defend your booty's honor."
Blake turned to Vinyl with a groan. "Look what you've unleashed."
"Hey, Lyra's still working on her own counter-thesis." Vinyl looked around. "Where is she, anyway?"
As if on cue, a green unicorn stumbled into the bar. "NEO. IS. INSANE. And that's coming from the mare with five and a half personalities!"
"Well, yeah." Yang shrugged. "She's probably a sociopath."
"She just. I mean, I get wanting to fight monsters, fine!" The unicorn stumbled up to the bar. "Adrenalin rush, sure! But pinning them down and--I don't know if it was torture or vivisection, or what, but--"
"Aw, quit your whining." A cream mare with a brown-and-pink mane trotted in. "It's not like I killed any of them, and I did let them all go."
Yang looked up. "Uh, Neo, you've got a little... actually, you've got a lot of blood splatters on you."
"Don't worry, none of it's mine."
"It's hard to wash out of a coat though. Trust me. You might need to borrow my soap."
Lyra laid her head on the bar. "I can't wait for Bonbon to come back. This is just crazy..."
209.12 (Wixelt)
"Twilight?"
"Yes, Twilight?"
"You wouldn't happen to know where Rarity is, would you?"
"Haven't the slightest clue, I'm afraid." the second Twilight frowned visibly, "I was hoping you knew."
"Do you think Pinkie's at it again?" the first frowned.
"The sea of pink somewhat gave it away." Twi 2 rolled her eyes, "Well, that and the Mikasa Glitch."
"Yeah." Twi Prime agreed, then frowned, "Seriously, though, where is Rarity? This isn't the same without her."
"Rarity?"
"Yes, Rarity?"
"Do you sometimes feel like the multiverse is having a laugh at your expense?"
"The feeling isn't... unfamiliar."
209.13 (Vinylshadow, Masterweaver)
"Leman?"
"Yes, Nyx?"
"Why am I a moose in a ninja getup?"
Lemon stared at his wife, stroking his chin thoughtfully.
"I think it's because Yggdrasil is having a hard time coming up with how to pluralize your name. In a near-Hub Loop, I actually did some research and there are in fact terms for multiple Nyx. It's called Nyktes or Nyktun. To Nyx is Nykti. To two Nyx is Nyktoin. And judging from your glazed expression, I've lost you," Lemon said with a grin.
"...I'm a moose!" Nyx protested.
"Moose are absolutely adorable creatures though. Besides, it's not like it's the first time you've been another creature, right?"
"But I'm the only pony who's a moose! What's so special about me?!"
"Would you like that list in alphabetical, numerical or chronological order?"
Nyx threw a pillow at him and let out a grumpy moose noise.
"FINALLY!" cried Thorax. "I'M NOT ALONE ANY… more."
Moose and Primarch stared at him.
"...I'm... I'm just going to go now." Slowly, the neon-colored changeling slunk off.
209.14 (Wixelt)
Loop Tag: The Beginning
(Nyx Sparkle > Twilight Sparkle)
"In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise..."
Twilight was fairly pleased with herself, to say the least. After so many eons, though it had never lost its entertainment value, the initial confrontation with Nightmare Moon had grown ever so slightly... well, stale, the general pool of unique ideas for pranking the would-be usurper (at least when Luna wasn't Awake) running relatively dry.
"...it is my great honour to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon..."
So the fact that, several loops earlier, something Twilight hadn't tried yet had occurred to her, was rather exciting. It hadn't taken her long to acquire the necessary mayonnaise and ketchup, so all that had been left was to wait for a suitable lonely loop to test the idea before she did it with any others present, and that moment had finally presented itself.
"...Princess Celestia!"
Now, the purple unicorn thought as the crowd cheered, smirking to herself in anticipation, all she had to do was wait patiently to spring the trap, and she'd be looking at a restored Luna in no time, albeit one covered from head to hoof in dressings and condiments.
"She's gone!"
"Ooh. She's good."
Any minute now...
"Don't worry, everypony, I'm sure she's merely late. She is a busy mare, after all."
...or not. Twilight frowned at the empty stage, where the corrupted Night Princess had failed to appear, Ivory Scroll darting between talking to various attendants and guards, looking increasingly worried.
Of course it'd have to be one of those loops, the Anchor grumbled to herself. Of all the times for both Celestia and Luna to be no-shows...
Someone behind Twilight lightly tapped her on the shoulder.
"In a minute..." the looping unicorn said, sighing. She'd gotten the traps set up and everything. Sure, she could take them down, but she'd probably have to get more ketchup-
She was tapped on the shoulder again.
"I said... In. A. Minute." Twilight growled slightly, still busy thinking inward. Well... maybe it didn't have to go to waste. She'd hit it off with unAwake Pinkie, as was usual, so it stood to reason the party mare might have some use for all that-
The tapper insisted.
"Seriously." Sparkle grumbled audibly, finally turning around, "What part of 'In a minute', don't you ge-"
"Boop."
Twilight startled in surprise as a small black-ish hoof bopped her lightly on the snout, its owner grinning victoriously. The Anchor blinked as, though this explained just where Nightmare Moon had vanished to, the adorable little stealther's immediate actions had made something short circuit in her mother's brain.
"I... Bu... Nyx? Wha..."
"Loop Tag!" Nyx Sparkle announced, still grinning, "You're it."
With that the filly nightmare bolted, laughing heavily as more or less everypony else present turned to stare in confusion. Twilight's eye twitched several times, staring at the retreating form of her daughter. Eventually, she blinked, drawing in a deep breath.
"What the bark just happened?"
"So... Do you want to explain what that was about?"
Raising an eyebrow, Nyx, now favouring her adult form, looked up from her book to meet her mother's waiting gaze, stood across the room in anticipation. Slowly, she developed a sly smile.
"Loop Tag. You're it." she purred, "I did say."
"Don't you try that with me, missy." Twilight chided, rolling her eyes, "Did Leman put you up to this?"
"Well, in a way..."
"Alright then. Spill."
"Alright." the variant Looper smirked, "Tzeentch started a loops-spanning game of Tag."
"...of course he did." Twilight face-hoofed, though there was a faint amusement in her tone at the idea of just what compelled the Chaos God to do such a thing, "What, I dread to ask, are the rules?"
"Aside from the obvious 'no tag-backs'?" Nyx giggled as Twilight pseudo-cursed under her breath, then appeared to reach into her pocket, withdrawing a sheet of paper and holding it for her mother to see, "You can't tag in the same loop you were tagged in; The tag must be done by physical contact between the tagger and tag-ee; You are not required to declare your tag status to others, though whether you choose to is up to personal preference, depending on your plans; Tagging the unAwake version of a Looper doesn't count; Additional rules may be added by subsequent tagged individuals, but must not contradict previous rules."
"...Huh. 'All according to plan' indeed." Equestria's Anchor hummed, visibly impressed, "Tzeentch wasn't messing around." her face slowly dropped into a frown, "Actually, did you let him tag you or did he catch you off guard, because I will have words."
"Actually, Leman tagged me." her daughter quickly blurted, attempting to clarify, "He was tagged by Magnus, who was tagged by Tzeentch."
"Then it's Leman I need to have words with about tagging my baby, hmm?" Twilight faux-considered.
"Mooooom..."
"Oh fine. Fine." the unicorn rolled her eyes, then smiled again, "I noticed the option to add rules. Has anyone taken that one up yet?"
"Well, Magnus wanted rid of being tagged as quickly as possible, and neither Leman or I had any really fun ideas, so..." Nyx paused, thinking, "I mean, I had this one about wearing a hat, but it felt a bit obvious." she perked up, "I did clean up his writing, though. He may have knowledge under his remit, but he has the writing skill of... well, a being of Chaos."
"That's my girl." the elder of the two beamed briefly, then offered, "But sometimes obvious doesn't necessarily mean bad, though. I might just have to consider that one." she smirked, "Oh, I'm definitely going to have fun with this..."
"You're going to try and tag Pinkie, aren't you?"
"I-" Twilight started, then shook her head, "No, I've learnt my lesson there." she chuckled darkly, "I have somepony else in mind..."
209.15 (Masterweaver) [MLP/RWBY]
"...Qrow?"
"Yeah Raven?"
"Why the hell am I a horse with wings?"
"Cause humans don't exist in Equestria. Luckily, booze does, so I'm hitting the bar."
"Of course you are..."
"Oh, fair warning, there's a pink pony here that's going to want to throw you at least one party and attend one per month, she's like a living sugar rush that defies the laws of physics and sanity, and that's when she's not Awake."
"Really."
"Yeah, when she visits Remnant she eats the Grimm for lunch. Not hyperbole. She literally eats them. Friendly, though."
"...What?"
"Oh there she is now. HEY PINKIE! This is my sister Raven, she's looping now."
"Qrow, wait--"
"OHMYGOSH YOU'RE LOOPING THAT'S SUPERINCREDIMAZING I mean I can tell Qrow's just throwing you to me for his own amusement but I super promise we'll get him back later BUT RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO THROW YOU A WELCOME TO THE LOOPS PARTY AND THAT MEANS I NEED TO KNOW YOUR FAVORITE CAKE FLAVOR although actually you don't look like a cake kind of woman let me guess you prefer something a little more solid COOKIES IT IS I HAVE RECIPES FROM PLACES YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD OF and we're going to need to invite Rainbow cause she'll want to teach you how to fly and probably hmm Chrysalis feels like the best kindness bearer for you and oh geeze Berry probably has some super advice you super need OHMYGOSH THIS IS SO AMAZING COME ON LET'S MOVE LET'S MOVE LET'S MOVE!"
"What the hell is happening?!"
"See you later sis! Enjoy your party!"
209.16 (Wixelt)
"Okay, new round." Discord grinned, chugging his glass and setting its contents down on the bar-top, in spite of the unamused look he was getting from Mac, "I had a better idea than this before, but..." the draconequus shrugged, "Eh, I'll remember it later. For now, though..."
"Just get to it." Gilda rolled her eyes, eyeing the other bar patrons, a mix of local and visiting loopers, who all looked rather bored, "You might lose the room."
"Bag. Spoil my fun... Fine." the chimera smirked, "The most outlandish thing unAwake or otherwise non-Loopers have mistaken your Looper antics for. The more mundane what you were actually doing was, the better. Go."
"That's it?" Rainbow Dash snorted, "Don't think I've got a winner lined up right away, but might as well start it off." she stretched, "There was this one Loop where, for whatever reason, Spitfire retired from the Wonderbolts mid-way through the loop. Thought I'd try my hand at working my way to the top, since I'd joined by then. Went full stealth too. Almost managed it, but..."
"There were complications, Dash?" Gilda chuckled, "There usually are."
"Shining Armor was... a little paranoid that loop." the pegasus giggled, "Okay, a lot paranoid. Not sure how he even became a guard captain." she paused, "No offence, Shining."
"Some taken."
"Well," Rainbow continued, "Because of some weird backwards internal logic he was working on, he decided that because I was friends with Twilight and was gunning for the leadership of the Bolts, I must obviously be a deep cover changeling assassin, trying to get close to the royal family to carry out my task. Tried to have me arrested every time he saw me." she frowned, "Thought I was cheating the tests when they said I was innocent, and wouldn't drop it. The loop ended before that really came to a head, but I think Celestia was almost ready to dismiss him."
"Naturally." the solar monarch sighed, "I don't tolerate such delusion in my courts when I can help it, though the changeling aspect may have given him some basis." she paused, "No offence, Chryssy."
"Some taken."
"Erm, actually..." Dash coughed, "The Changeling Hive were strong allies of Equestria that loop. Think their ruler might've Awoken early."
"...no basis then." Celestia shook her head, "I withdraw my point."
"I do recall that loop, actually." Chrysalis mused, "I was wondering what the commotion was about on the diplomatic visit. Shining kept giving me dirty looks whenever he thought I wasn't looking."
"This just gets worse..." the stallion in question slammed his head against the bar top, his wife patting him on the shoulder.
209.17 (Masterweaver)
"Thank you gentlecolts," Twilight said to the guards that had flown her to Ponyville. She turned to examine the crowd--and noticed three particular fillies. "Oh. Hello girls."
"Heya Twi. How're things?"
"Oh, good, you are Awake."
Spike gave her a confused look. "Uh, yeah, they're clearly not asleep. And how do you know them?"
Twilight, in reply, simply produced a glass of punch from thin air and slowly, deliberately, silently drained it of its contents as all of them watched her.
"...well. Catch you later!" And with a sly smile, she trotted off, a confused dragon running after her.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders shared a look.
"What was that all about?" Scootaloo asked.
Sweetie shrugged. "She has new blackmail on us?"
"Ah dunno," Apple Bloom mused. "She didn't get that whole... evil look she does when she's got new blackmail."
"She's planning a prank," Scootaloo offered.
Sweetie Belle tilted her head. "I mean... maybe, but..." She waved a hoof as Pinkie did her gasp. "When would she do the set-up? Loop's just started."
"Well, maybe it's a variant and she knows something we don't?"
"Have any of ya noticed anythin' different?" Apple Bloom asked.
"I don't know..."
Sweetie Belle's ears perked. "Wait. We are due for another expansion, right?"
Scootaloo's eyes widened. "You think Twi's gone through an expansion and just wants us to live through it without warning?"
Apple Bloom shrugged. "Ah mean... it's possible, but don't get yer hopes up, girls. Let's... Ah don't know, play it close ta baseline, see what happens?"
"Yeah, sounds cool," the pegasus agreed. "I mean, we can't really anticipate her anyway."
"Anchors." Sweetie rolled her eyes. "Sometimes they can be so mysteeeeeeerious…"
209.18 (Masterweaver) [MLP/RWBY]
Salem looked up as the door to her throne room slammed open. "Cinder? I thought you were preparing Vale for the Vytal fes--"
"It's all off." Cinder told her, wide-eyed. "She's here. She's not going to hurt you, but it really is better if you give up without a fight. Ruby's distracting her, but that only gives us ten minutes at best--"
"She? What are you--?"
"She can hear her name, and I'm certain she can hear her titles." Cinder glanced around the room. "I know you're used to being the most powerful being on Remnant, but she is literally eating every Grimm on the planet as we speak. We can't outrun her. We can't overpower her. We can't outwit her. The only reason we'll survive is because she's very in tune with people--"
"CIIIIIIINDYYYYYYY!"
Cinder spun around, a smile gracing her face. "Hey there Pinkie! We, uh, we were just talking about you!"
Salem quirked an eyebrow as a ridiculously pink pony, of all things, trotted into her throne room. "All good things, I hope! I don't want you terrifying people with my name."
"Ha... haha..." Cinder backed out of the pony's way, still smiling nervously as she glanced between her and Salem. "S-So, this is Salem, you know that already--"
"Oh, yep! Hi Salem!" The pony waved cheerfully. "I've heard a lot about you."
"Um, Salem, this is Pinkemena Diane Pie. You can call her Pinkie, though."
Salem looked at the pink pony impassively. "You seem... harmless enough," she mused.
"Oh I certainly don't mean you any harm," said the pony, bouncing forward quickly--
"Stop there."
--and freezing in midair, in blatant defiance of all physics.
Salem blinked, but composed herself quickly. "So... I take it you're another being from the first age?"
"Nope!" Pinkie chirped brightly. "Good guess though!" She scratched her ear with a rear hoof, still hanging in midair.
Cinder cleared her throat. "Pinkie is... a visitor to Remnant. She, ah, just decided to... lend a hand in some places."
"Hoof, Cindy, lend a hoof."
"Yes. A hoof. Haha, silly me."
Salem frowned. "A visitor. From where, exactly?"
"Oh, nowhere you could get to. Or I could get to. It's kind of a strange coincidence I'm here now." Pinkie peered at her. "You're not smiling."
Cinder took a sharp intake of breath. "Piiiiiinkiiiiiie, ixnay on the ilesmay--"
"Um, no? I'm all about the ilesmay! I've got a whole song about it, it's practically my thing!" The pony twisted, still in midair, and pointed to a colorful image on her flanks. "What, you think I got these balloons on my butt for show?"
"Nonono, I just mean, um, Salem kinda, you know, might not appreciate... your... help?" The last word was a squeak.
Salem quirked an eyebrow at this exchange. "I feel there's a lot going unexplained here."
"Yep! Cindy will explain in a few minutes. After I do my thing." Pinkie finally fell to the ground, trotting forward. "Excuse me, I kiiiinda need to get at that there window."
Salem frowned as she walked by. "Why?"
The pony put her forehooves on the window's sill. "Cause I need a good view of the pool of darkness, silly!"
"Wha--?"
Pinkie took a deep breath, her body inflating to six times its size as she inhaled. Salem backed away warily, looking from her to the window. And then, she let out one single, gleeful sound.
"HA!"
The noise shot through the window, slamming into the pool of darkness and sending its contents spiraling into the air. Salem watched in disbelief as the cursed water evaporated into sparkling glitters that dissolved with cheerful chimes. In the space of ten seconds, the very pond that had cursed her was gone, leaving only a deep pit with a few crystals in its wake.
"...what?"
Pinkie turned from the window, looking her in the eyes with a grin. Salem was so discombobulated, she could only barely process the hoof raising up.
"Wait--Wait, no--!"
"Boop!"
The moment the pink appendage touched her nose, Salem felt something.... melt. Something that she had been carrying with herself dissolved away, leaving her gasping for breath. She brought a hand to her chest--and then stopped, looking at it. No longer was it as ivory grimm-bone to the touch, but now the warm color of living flesh she had lost long ago.
"...how?"
"Hmmm." Pinkie examined it. "Well, the immortality's still there... guess that makes sense, that was a deliberate thing. Still, I guess this is better than nothing." From out of nowhere, she produced a firework three times her size, mounting it into the stone. "Anyway, that's both the pools gone, so that's my last chore on Remnant for a bit. If you'll excuse me, I have a couple of dragons to talk with. "
Cinder shook her head. "Wait, hold on, are you just going to leave me here to explain everything?"
"Yep!" Pinkie grabbed a match with her tail, striking it against the rocket and lighting the fuse. "Oh, Salem? My whole thing is bringing smiles to the world. I'll be back in a month or two, and I hope I'll find more smiles then frowns."
"I..." Salem blinked. "Was that a threat?" she finally managed, trying to sound angry.
"Nope! Just something I wanted to say. Anyway, later!"
The spark crawled up the last of the fuse and the rocket shot through the window, Pinkie's giggles trailing behind it. Salem stared after her, confused.
Cinder held up a finger. "Waaaaaaaait for it...."
A great pink firework burst in front of the shattered moon--before dragging all the shards back together. In a flash, the globe was whole, with the image of a grinning face winking down at the ground.
"There it is." Cinder sighed. "So, yeah, I'll explain things, but it's going to be a lot and, well, it's going to be unbelievable. You want to get something to eat first?"
A month and a half later, a strange pink creature dragged two dragons into Beacon by the horns, made them apologize to the headmaster and his new girlfriend, and then sent them off with impossibly large slices of cake. And if anybody noticed the four girls that mysteriously showed up around that time, they didn't say anything at all.