English teachers be like:

by Lame Joke


Shakespearean sonnet is kinda hard tbh

"Hey guys!" the rainbow blur of Rainbow Dash rushed through the window of Twilight's castle, "I made an awesome poem! Wanna hear it?"

The five other ponies who had gathered in Twilight's castle because they were bored stared at Dash.

"Well, I would love to hear it," Spike stode over with a pillow in his claw, and sat down on it, staring at the pegasus with an expectant smile.

Dash cleared her throat. With her signature raspy voice, she read out:

I went to buy flour
But I noticed the flour are all black
They must be rotten
So I went back home

"Well," Twilight managed to choke out and not laugh at the stupidity of the poem, "That's some... top notch english right there,"

"Heh, always knew I had a knack for poems," Dash smirked as the other ponies stared unbelieving at her huge ego, "Aight, Imma head out. Got some poems to read to ponies,"

Then she flew out of the window.

Once the figure of Rainbow Dash was out of sight, the group of ponies burst into laughter, screaming and gasping about how the poem doensn't even make any sense.

"It made as much sense as a cow eating meat!" Applejack guffawed.

Twilight stopped laughing abruptly and sat up straight. "Some cows do eat meat! For example, there's this cow that ate a chicken-"

"Aw come one Twilight, you just ruined the mood," Pinkie's grin quickly drooped down and she stared sadly at Twilight.

Twilight stared back, confused.


"Hey Cheerilee!" the pony in question glanced up at the sky to see Dash yelling down from a cloud, "You're an English teacher right?"

"Yup," she responded.

"Then I gotta poem for you! Tell me if its good," with one strong push of her wings, Dash appeared beside Cheerilee, and recited out:

I sit on a blue chair
My back hurts
So I found a cushion
And cushioned my back

Cheerilee knelt down and gripped her hooves, a look of amazement written over her face as she stared at Dash.

"That poem was... fantastic! I could feel the emotions and the meaning of the poem. The blue chair symbolises the sadness of the persona and it hurts the persona, which depicts that the persona is suffering from depression. The persona found a cushion, which eased the pain away and thus, making their sadness fade away. The cushion is perhaps a loved one, comforting the persona and directing the persona away from the sadness. And the free rhyming style of the poem shows that the sadness did not last long. This poem is excellent!" Cheerilee exclaimed with excitement, looking at Dash in awe, "How did you manage to think of this incredible poem?"

Dash was taken back by the reaction, but quickly recovered. "I, uh, I don't know exactly, its just natural talent I guess," Dash replied.

"You should write poems!" Cheerilee smiled, "With your talent, I believe that you can create some of the best poems in Equestria! Oh, could you some to school tomorrow? I want you to read an original poem to my students, for them to learn better!"

"Sure!" Dash agreed, and left to return home.

Dash flew through the window (screw doors) and tumbled onto her bed. She thought of making more poems, so she did. The whole night was filled with the scribbling of pencils on papers and the occasional grunts of frustration as Dash wrote a mountain of poems. Unsatisfied poems were scrunched up into a ball and threw into a corner of her bedroom, which was all of them. By the time the sun rose, Dash was sitting on her desk, regretting spending her precious sleeping time to write useless poems.

She was drifting into sleep when a sudden thought jolted her awake. She need to go to the school! Wondering how fillies have the ability to wake up so early in the morning just to go to school, she took a quick bite of breakfast and headed off to the school.


"Students, today we have a very special guest, a legendary poet. Please put your hooves together and welcome... Rainbow Dash!"

The sound of applause rang out from the fillies as Dash walked into the classroom with her head held high and her chest puffed out. She has never felt so much respect from ponies, and thought might as well enjoy it while she still can.

"Rainbow Dash has shown an extraordinary talent for making poems, and she is here to read us one of her poem!" Cheerilee announced to the class, which was responded by cheering and more applause, mostly by Scootaloo, who was so enthusiastic that she looks like she is going to fall off her chair.

Dash took a deep breathe and blinked. She just realised that she had prepared no poems, even though she had spent her whole night writing useless poems. Well, she thought to herself, I will have to make up a poem.

"Alright, here I go," Dash could felt the fillies clinging onto her every word, and she recited:

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around
And desert you

Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie
And hurt you

(Ha yall just got rickrolled. Does that count as a rickroll?)

Cheerilee frowned when she heard that.

"That... sounds like a song, not an original poem,"

"Oh, sorry! I got messed up. Allow me to, uh, say my poem now," Dash cringed at her stupid brain lag, and she tried again:

I was flying through the sky
And a saw a filly cry
It made my heart melt inside
So I went home and ate apple pie

Cheerilee frowned again, looking disappointedly at Dash.

"I don't understand this one. Could you perhaps explain the meaning of the poem?"

"Uh," Dash replied, "This is about me, and I saw somepony cry while I was flying and I got sad too. So I got hungry because you need food when you're sad, right? Then I, uh, ate apple pie, I guess," Dash stuttered, sweat forming at her brow.

Everypony in the room stared blankly at the cyan pegasus. Dash, now shaking with embarrassment, decided that she had to do something, anything.

So she flew out through the windows (screw doors).