//------------------------------// // Graduations and Griffons // Story: My Big Fat Griffon Wedding // by LunaJack //------------------------------// “All right, everyone, get in line just like we practiced! You march in five minutes.” Cinnamon Roll quickly took her place in line between a unicorn mare named Cannoli Cake and a colt named Copper Pot. Nervously she checked her long black graduation gown, making sure it wasn’t riding up in the back. “Oh, fiddlesticks!” she muttered as her mortarboard slid over her eyes. “I thought I had that pinned!” “Here, let me help ya,” said Cannoli speaking with a heavy Hooflyn accent. Using her magic, she readjusted the mortarboard and slid the bobby pins into Cinnamon’s mane. “There ya go. That oughta hold.” “Thank you,” said Cinnamon gratefully. “Hay, forget about it.” Nervously, the brown Earth filly glanced down the line behind her. She could see Gulliand several ponies back. The griffon’s head was slightly bowed, his eyes focused on something she couldn’t see. Cinnamon frowned, wondering what was worrying him so. The pony in front of him who she recognized as one of Pearlescent Glow’s pastel friends stuck her tongue out at her. Cinnamon Roll replied with a loud raspberry. Gulliand hardly noticed. His eyes were riveted on the letter he had just received from his mother. He had sent her a letter three weeks earlier informing her of his engagement. His mother, trying to save bits, had mailed her reply third class so it had arrived just that morning. He read: Dear Gulliand, I am writing this missive on Mummy’s behalf since she is too overwrought with emotion to put pen to paper. (In other words, Mom’s madder than a wet hen and asked me to write this for her.) She wishes to relay her disappointment in your choice of a bride. She also wonders why, if you should marry a pony, you could not have at least selected a unicorn since these might be more socially acceptable. (I would have preferred a Pegasus myself since, you know, they can fly! But, to each his own.) She had hoped to pair you with one of the O’Talon hens (Boring!) or the McPhearsome heiress (You know, the one who has a mustache almost as big as Uncle Gustave’s. Ewww!) but she supposes she can deal with the disillusionment. Despite her heartbreak at her only son’s actions (Oh, cue the violins!) she does plan to attend the graduation ceremony with Gidget and myself in attendance. She hopes despite their humble position that your intended’s family might be worthy of a connection with the LeGrand name. (Ugh! I can’t believe I’m having to write this.) We will see you on Graduation Day. Your loving sister, Gigi. PS: Don’t worry. Gidget and I have your back. Gulliand sighed as he put the letter away. This response was much better than what he had imagined. He just hoped his mother didn’t embarrass him too much with all her condescending ways. The Apples were good ponies and he really did not want them to be offended. “All right, it’s time!” A pink unicorn mare wearing black-framed glasses waved the students forward. “Remember to march in time with the music and take your seats!” Cinnamon Roll faced forward and followed the line of graduates into the Assembly Hall. The sound of “Pomp and Circumstance” filled the air as the students solemnly marched to the beat. Duuum dah-dah-dum Duuum Dum. Duuum dah-dah-dum Duuum. Cinnamon tried to keep her eyes front but she couldn’t help but steal a glance at the bleachers where the graduates’ families were seated. She noticed Spike and Applejack right away. The dragon was wearing his favorite red bow tie and Applejack had on her trademark Stetson. Applespike sat next to them followed by Cinnamon Stick and Dinky. She wished her Aunt Apple Bloom and the other CMCs could be there, but each student was only allowed to invite five guests to the ceremony. Once the last graduate had taken their seat and the music ended, a black unicorn mare wearing a red robe stood and addressed the assembly. “Greetings!" she cried in a warm, welcoming voice. "My name is Crème Brulee and I am the Dean of Students here at Canterlot Culinary College. First, I wish to convey my congratulations to our graduates! They are all very talented individuals and I know that you, their families, are very proud of them!” There was a crash of applause and one loud cry of “Darn tootin’!” which Cinnamon guessed came from Applespike. Crème Brulee patiently waited for the applause to die down before continuing. “However, I would like to remind you all that this is supposed to be a solemn, dignified ceremony. So, we ask that there be no yelling, stomping, noise makers, or party cannons during the proceedings.” “Oh, Rats!” Cinnamon Roll’s eyes went wide. That sounded like Cherry Pie! “We ask that you hold all applause until all the graduates have received their diplomas. Thank you. Now, I will turn it over to our President, Professor Strudel Kopf.” An elderly blue unicorn stallion wearing a black robe and tam o’shanter took his place at the podium and began to address the students in a high reedy voice. Cinnamon Roll had to tilt her head a few times to catch what he was saying. “And…you are…talented… Will go far in… and make…mark on Equestria! Thank….!” He concluded to a round of polite applause. “Sheesh! That old geezer talks quieter than Aunt Fluttershy.” Prism! Cinnamon glanced in the direction of the voice but saw nothing there. She turned back just in time to see Crème Brulee return to the podium. “And now we will ask the graduates to come forward and receive their diplomas. Again, please hold your applause until all the students have received their diplomas. Ahem…Apricot Marmalade…Apron Strings…Batter Splash…” Cinnamon Roll anxiously followed the line to the raised stage where the Dean and President were standing. The members of the faculty smiled encouragingly as she passed by. Gustave LeGrand nodded to her, tears running down his feathered face. Cinnamon had to look away before she started crying, too. She watched as the President hoofed over the diplomas, personally congratulating each student as they passed. “Butter Bread…Cannoli Cake…Cinnamon Roll Apple-Dragon…” Cinnamon crossed the stage with alacrity to accept her diploma from the elderly blue unicorn. Professor Strudel Kopf smiled on her kindly as he hoofed over the scroll. “Congratulations, my dear,” he murmured. “You earned it.” “Thank you, sir.” Cinnamon quickly exited the stage as the next name was called. She marched demurely to her seat but, really, she was flying! She had done it! She had earned an actual Bachelorette degree and would soon become the Apple family’s first official chef! EEEEEEEEEEEEE! “Flapjack Skillet…” The little filly came back to earth as the Dean continued reading the names. “Golden Starshine… Griddle Cake… Gulliand LeGrand…” Cinnamon Roll suppressed a joyous squeal as her fiancé proudly crossed the stage. The griffon gave the President a deep respectful bow as he accepted his diploma. “Ah! Such a gentlecolt…er…griff!” Gemstone? Cinnamon glanced around but saw no sign of her childhood friend. Where were those voices coming from? The ceremony went on. The little filly sat politely, smiling at a few friends as they passed by. She even gave a polite nod to Pearlescent Glow which the pastel unicorn begrudgingly returned. Once the last graduate, an orange unicorn stallion named Yam Bake, returned to his seat Dean Crème Brulee motioned for the students to stand. “For the last time I will address you as students," she intoned. "Please move your tassel to the other side of your mortarboard.” There was a wave of movement as the students complied. The Dean smiled. “Respected guests and family, I present to you this year’s graduating class!” The bleachers erupted in thunderous applause and cheers. Applejack, Applespike, and Cinnamon Stick stomped their hooves as Spike whistled through his teeth. Dinky reared and shot little sparks from her horn. BOOM! Ponies jumped at the sudden explosion but their fear quickly turned to cheer as cupcake scented confetti and balloons rained down on the congregation. The graduates laughed like foals at a birthday party, jumping up to bop the balloons with their hooves. Even the members of the faculty got into the act. Only the Dean was not amused. “Didn’t I say no party cannons?” she demanded. Professor Strudel Kopf chuckled as he blew some confetti off the tip of his muzzle. “Well, dear, they did wait until after the ceremony…” “Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! You’re all here!” “Are you kidding?” chirped Cherry Pie. “We wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” “Not for a million bits!” cried Raspberry. “Not for a million bits and a rubber chicken!” added Blueberry. Cinnamon Roll threw herself into the group of friends gathered in the college garden, hugging each one tightly. Applejack, Spike, Applespike, Cinnamon Stick and Dinky stood to one side, grinning at the excited filly. "Surprise!" they cried. “Gemstone! Prism!” Cinnamon Roll squealed. “Hey, what are we? Chopped liverwort?” cried Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo indignantly. Cinnamon threw her hooves around the beloved CMCs. “I’m so proud I got to see an Apple graduate from college,” murmured Apple Bloom as she nuzzled her niece’s cheek. “All thanks to Screwball, here.” “Hey, all I did was make an invisible floating room big enough to hold us all,” the pink chaotic mare demurred. “Luckily the group wasn’t that big or we wouldn’t have fit.” “We might have had more room if somepony hadn’t insisted on bringing her party cannon!” said Prism, glaring at Cherry. “I’ve still got confetti stuck up by nose.” “I’m on it,” said Blueberry fishing a small tin from her saddlebag. She opened it and blew the contents into Prism’s face. The rainbow filly huffed and puffed then “AAAACCHHHOOOO! Ewwww! Gross!” Blueberry cheerfully passed her a tissue. “You’re welcome.” “Cinnamon Roll! There you are!” The brown filly turned to see her griffin fiancé still clad in his gown and mortarboard hurrying towards her. “Gulliand!” The griffin threw his arms around her, lifting her off the ground with a flap of his wings. “We did it, Cherie! We did it!” “We sure did!” cried Cinnamon as Gulliand joyfully spun them around in the air. He stopped when he heard a worried EEEP! from Applejack. The orange farm pony was looking a little pale. “S-sorry, ya’ll,” she apologized shakily. “The way you was spinnin’ her around made me worried ya might lose your grip.” “Oh, Ma, that was nothin’!” the brown Earth filly laughed. “Why, we’ve flown through the streets of Canterlot during a hail storm and…” “WHAT?” “Not helping!” cried Spike, hugging his wife. “I am glad to see you all again,” said Gulliand, quickly changing the subject. He smiled as he pointed a talon at the Tri-Pies. “I’m not surprised to see you three here! When that party cannon went off, I knew one of you had to be responsible.” “That was Cherry,” explained Raspberry, grinning proudly. “Blue and I just brought our teensy-weensy hoof-held cannons!” She held up a tiny cannon that looked like it belonged in a toy circus. Pop! The griffin laughed. “That is so clever! How on earth did you ever--” “GULLIAND!” a shrill voice called from the other side of the garden. Ponies quickly stepped aside as a trio of griffinesses made their way through the crowd. Two of the hens were small, only slightly bigger than a pony, with white head feathers and light gray fur. The third hen was much taller and obviously older than the other two. Like them, she had white head feathers but her fur was sleek and black as ebony. A pearl-encrusted letter L hung from a silver chain around her neck. “Gulliand Augustus Legrande!” she cried as she loomed over him imperiously. “What did you think you were doing leaving us behind like that? It was most unseemly!” “I’m sorry, Mother,” the griffin muttered, wilting under the indignant hen’s gaze. “Way to go, Dweeb!” one of the young hens muttered behind her. “Gidget!” snapped the older griffiness, rounding on her sharply. “What have I told you about that word?” The named hen rolled her eyes. “Only low class, two-bit, scone bakers use such words,” she recited, imitating the older hen's condescending tone. “Exactly!” “But it’s not a vulgar word, Mother,” wheedled Gidget. “And it’s so much fun to say!” “It’s really quite expressive,” agreed the other young hen. “Quiet! Both of you!” the older griffiness rounded on them both. “Need I remind you that we are in public? Try to show some proper decorum.” “Yes, Mother,” the girls intoned. “That’s better.” Calmly she turned back to Gulliand, a thin smile on her beak. “Now, my dear boy, are you going to make introductions or leave me to guess?” “Ooooo! Oooo! Let her guess!” cried Cherry Pie, raising her hoof. “If she gets it right, she gets a cupcake!” Gulliand’s sisters looked away, their bodies shaking with suppressed laughter. Gulliand just smiled and shook his head at Cherry. “Perhaps another time,” he said kindly. Sliding his arm around Cinnamon, he drew her closer to his side. “Mother, this is my fiancée, Cinnamon Roll Apple-Dragon. Cinnamon, this is my mother, Guinevere Porter LeGrand.” “Ah’m pleased to meet ya Ma’am,” said Cinnamon offering her hoof. The griffiness took it gingerly between her thumb and first talon. “Charmed, I’m sure.” “And those two delightful hens behind her are my sisters, Gidget and Gigi.” “Pleased to make your acquaintance,” chorused the girls, dropping into a curtsy. “Same here,” replied Cinnamon Roll warmly. “Gulliand’s told me a lot about you two.” “Oh, great!” Gigi huffed. “There went our chance to make a good first impression!” Prism giggled as she nudged Gemstone. “I like them.” “Let me introduce you to Cinnamon Roll’s parents,” Gulliand continued, guiding the trio toward the unusual couple. “This is Applejack and Spike Apple-Dragon.” “How do you do, Ladies,” said Spike, nodding politely. Applejack touched the brim of her hat. “Howdy. Glad to meetcha.” “This is her older brother Cinnamon Stick and his wife Dinky.” “Ladies,” the brown stallion nodded tersely. Dinky smiled and tilted her head so one of her off kilter eyes was aimed at the griffinesses. “Hi!” “And this fellow,” continued Gulliand, waving a claw to the dragon-pony. “Is her little brother Applespike.” The colt stepped forward and making an elegant bow took the elder griffin’s claw in his hoof. “Ah am pleased to make your acquaintance, Madam,” he said, bringing the claw to his lips. “Ch-charmed,” stammered Guinevere, fighting the urge to yank her claw away. Gulliand nodded approvingly. “Nice form,” he murmured. “Thanks,” said Applespike. “Aunt Rarity’s been helpin’ me practice.” Gemstone giggled. “He wants to make sure he’s a proper gentlecolt for my sister Jewel. He’s even taken up ballroom dancing!” “Really? How very interesting,” Guinevere murmured, eyeing the blushing dragon-pony speculatively. Gulliand felt his gut tighten. He knew where his mother’s mind was going. The little unicorn’s manner of speaking marked her as a member of the Canterlot elite. If Applespike, his soon-to-be-brother-in-law, had connections to pony nobility, that would be something his mother would try to exploit. “And what is your name, my dear?” his mother asked the unicorn sweetly. “My name is Gemstone, Madam. My father is—” “Excuse me a moment!” cried Gulliand, tugging at his mother’s elbow. Guinevere irritably shook him off. “Son, please! You are being rude!” She turned back to Gemstone. “Now, who did you say your father—” “I-I-I forgot to introduce you to Cinnamon Roll’s aunt,” the griffin cut in desperately. “She’s right over there.” He gestured to where the Cutie Mark Crusaders stood under a nearby tree. “Her name is—" “APPLE BLOOM!” Gigi and Gidget both screamed at the same time. The hens stood transfixed, their eyes wide and their beaks agape. “Girls!” their mother snapped. “What have I told you—” “AND SWEETIE BELLE! AND SCOOTALOO!” The two hens grabbed each other, grinning and trembling with excitement. “IT’S THEM! IT’S REALLY THEM!” Guinevere rolled her eyes and huffed. “Gigi! Gidget! What has gotten into you?” “IT’S THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS! AAAAAAAAAAAA---!” There was a flash of magic and a pink bubble-like dome appeared over the fan-crazed hens, blocking out their screams. Guinevere clutched her chest in surprise. “What in Equestria?” she cried. She turned to Gemstone. “Did you do that?” The white unicorn blushed. “No, madam. That was Screwball. She excels at that kind of magic.” “Thanks, Gem,” said the chaotic mare, smiling brightly as the griffiness turned to look at her. “Hi, there!” “H-hello,” Guinevere replied shakily as she took in the pink Earth pony with the lollipop eyes. She had no idea how the mare was performing magic without a horn, but she had no desire to question it right then. “Um…can you release my daughters, please?” “Sure! I think they’re done screaming anyway.” The draconequess folded her arms over her chest and blinked. The dome vanished revealing Gigi and Gidget still entwined and panting for breath. “Okay, girls,” Screwball addressed them sternly. “I’m letting you out. But if you start that screeching again, I’m gonna put you back in time out. Understood?” “Yes, ma’am,” the girls chorused. They looked back to the CMCs who were staring at the griffinesses as if they expected to be torn apart at any moment. The hens blushed in embarrassment. “Sorry about our outburst. We’re just really excited to meet you.” “Really?” Scootaloo chuckled drily. “I never woulda guessed.” “I know it sounds crazy,” said Gigi. “I mean griffins listening to pony music, but we do. We really love your songs!” “Yeah, Gulliand told me,” said Apple Bloom smiling. Cautiously she stepped forward and offered a friendly hoof. “I’m really proud our music is enjoyed by more than just ponies.” “Oh, Wow!” Gigi and Gidget whimpered in starry-eyed awe as they shook the proffered hoof. “It’s a real compliment,” added Sweetie Belle, taking their claws as well. “And it’s really great meeting fans like you,” said Scootaloo, joining her friends. “As long as you don’t freak out on us. That’s kinda scary.” “Not to mention humiliating,” muttered Guinevere darkly. If Gigi and Gidget heard their mother, they showed no sign. They stared at the claws that the CMCs had shaken, both of them grinning like idiots. It was obvious that it would be awhile before they washed those claws again. “Oooooh, Gigi! I-I think I’m gonna faint!” “Me too, Gidget!” “Hey, hey, ain't nobody gonna be passin’ out here,” cried Applejack, taking control of the situation. “Now, I know everyone’s all excited right now and we’ve had a lot goin’ on this mornin’. What say we all grab us some lunch while we’re all here in Canterlot?” She looked over at Guinevere. “Whatcha say, Mrs. LeGrand? That all right with you?” “I wouldn’t mind getting a bite to eat,” the griffiness replied grandly. “I hear Canterlot has several Three Hoof restaurants.” The Tri-Pies looked at each other in disgust. “Tissue paper,” muttered Blueberry. “Cardboard,” murmured Raspberry. “Tiny portions,” whispered Cherry. “Ah, Mother,” said Gidget smoothly. “Since it is Gulliand and Cinnamon Roll’s graduation, perhaps they should be the ones the choose the restaurant.” “Why, yes! Who else but a pair of chefs would know where to find good food?” added Gigi, putting emphasis on the word 'good'. “Sounds like a plan to me,” said Spike shrugging. “So, Cinnamon Roll, Gulliand, where do you wanna eat?” The griffon and filly regarded each other a moment. Huge smiles broke across their faces. “We know just the place,” said Cinnamon Roll. “Excellent!” said Guinevere. “Someplace fine, I hope.” Gulliand grinned. “Believe me. It will definitely be... Tasty.”