Ch. 4
My Fair Lady
or: C’mon Everypony; Smile, Smile, Smile!
BY: cleverpun
Pinkie didn’t sleep well. All she could think of was Rarity begging her not to cast that spell, the tears on her face, the argument she lost with her own mind… And Pinkie had just stood there. Worse, she had convinced Twinkie it was a good idea.
Trust me, it’s for her own good. It’s for the best. I did the right thing.
It’s for the best! I did the right thing!
It’s for the best… I did the right thing…
It’s for the best? I did the right thing?
When she finally woke up, it was to the sound of high-pitched laughter. As she walked into the kitchen, she found Twinkie and Pinkity eating and giggling.
“Hi Pinkie!” They greeted her in unison.
“Morning.” She forced a smile, and sat down. The other two ponies put a stack of pancakes in front of her, complete with flower eyes and a hay smile. They were delicious but Pinkie’s trademark enthusiasm was absent as she ate. After a few minutes of forlornly poking her food with her fork, it was clear something was amiss.
“What’s the matter, Pinkie?” The two mares asked simultaneously.
“Oh nothing.... No... it’s not nothing. Girls, I have something to say.”
“Hey, so do we!”
“What a coincidence!”
“Well, I’m going first; this is important! Twilight, Rarity, I don’t think what we…what I did to both of you was right. Every time I look at you, I can see a shadow of the ponies you used to be, and it’s made me realize that what I did to you was wrong. I think we should try and find a way to get you back to your old selves.”
The two of them bit their lips, and gave each other a mischievous stare.
“What is it?”
“Well, it’s too bad you feel that way, Pinkie…”
“Because it means you won't like your present!”
“Oooh a present!? Is it a taffy pulling machine, or balloon shaped cakepan, or a…” And then Pinkie realized what they meant.
“Wait... Oh NO! You didn’t... convert another one of our friends, did you!?”
“Of course not, silly!”
“We converted Princess Celestia!”
“You did what!?”
“Way to spoil the surprise, Pinkity!”
“It’s not my fault; she was supposed to come in as I announced it! It was going to be all fancy and dramatic, and the look on Pinkie’s face was going to be hi-larious!”
“Yeah, I bet it would've been! Hahaha!”
And at that moment Princess Celestia walked in, her transparent, flowing mane trailing behind her; but rather than its usual multicolored shimmer, it was four different shades of bright, opaque pink.
“Hi Pinkie! Like my new mane? Regal, and classy, and sassy if I do say so myself!”
“B-but, how did you do that without my memories to copy!?”
“Well, I am a magical prodigy, you know! Practice makes perfect, and perfection takes practice, and I've had plenty of practice with this particular powerful spell!”
Twinkie and Pinkity burst into another fit of giggles.
“When did you… How did you…”
“Well, apparently Spike heard us talking with Rarity last night, and he sent some kind of distressed message to the princess.”
“And naturally, when I heard that my protégé was misusing her magic again, I rushed over right away!”
“She got here sometime after you fell asleep, and started giving me this speech about how I shouldn’t abuse my powers, or something boring like that. And while she was talking, it hit me! I could just cast the spell on her! It’s like you said Pinkie, she’s better off this way!”
“It’s true, I am!” Celestia’s eye twitched visibly as she finished her sentence.
“And while everypony else was sleeping, I realized something.”
“Realized what, exactly?” Pinkie already knew she wouldn’t like the answer.
“I realized with the princess on our side, we wouldn’t have any problem helping the rest of Equestria!”
Pinkie began to slowly back away towards the door.
“Where are you going, Pinkie? We still have the rest of the town to cast the spell on! Well, except Spike, we already got him. And after that we can go city by city; I made a great chart and everything!”
“Twinkie…Twilight, I know that may seem like a good idea, but think about what you’re suggesting…!”
“I have, Pinkie. Nothing can go wrong. I just took your plan and made it bigger, better, stronger. After everyone in Equestria has your mind inside them, life will be just like a giant party! No one will ever have to be afraid of rejection or loneliness ever again…”
Pinkie bolted for the door, opened it, and ran out into town, all in the blink of an eye.
“Should we stop her?”
“Nah, there’s nothing she can do. She’ll realize the merits of my plan soon enough anyway; I got the idea from her, after all!”
Pinkie got as far from the library as possible, passing several ponies along the way as she ran aimlessly across town.
Whatdoidowhatdoidowhatdoido....!?
And then it dawned on her.
Princess Luna.
There wasn’t any other option, Celestia was too powerful, and Pinkie had no other ideas that were even remotely plausible. Well, maybe something with pies and a belt sander, but that would take forever!
She just had to get to Canterlot. Her secret escape tunnel network wasn’t finished yet, so she’d have to settle for the train.
She purchased a ticket to Canterlot, and boarded the Friendship Express in record time.
The train ride was long. Long and uneventful. Long and uneventful and boring. Each minute that passed by felt like five, and all the magazines only made things worse. It gave her a lot of time to think about what was happening back in Ponyville. Every clack of the train tracks probably meant another one of her friends had had her thoughts forced on them. Pinkie had run away, and hadn’t bothered to warn anypony, or to try and stop Twilight herself. Eventually she managed to tear her mind from those unpleasant subjects, and towards an equally frightening one; What was she going to tell Princess Luna?
After an eternity, the train arrived in Canterlot station. By mentioning Twilight or Shining Armor, she managed to bluff her way into the castle, through the kitchen, past the laundry room, up five flights of stairs, and onto the floor containing the princess’ chambers. Before long she found herself standing in front of the doors to Princess Luna’s royal quarters. And what doors they were! Ten feet tall or more, made of very dark wood, and with Princess Luna’s cutie mark engraved on them.
It’s okay, Pinkie, she’s not going to smite you or anything: it’d ruin her image!
She knocked on the door as loud as she dared, and there was an immediate shuffling inside.
“I asked not to be disturbed!”
The doors flew open and Pinkie was greeted by an irate Luna. She was quite a bit taller than Pinkie, and it took a moment for her gaze to work downwards.
“Uh, hi!”
Minor confusion joined Luna’s mild annoyance.
“Oh, we remember you; you’re that pink chicken from Ponyville. Why do you disturb us…er… What does thou.” Luna coughed. “I mean, uhm… can I help you with something?”
“Uhm, well, this is a little awkward… Have you seen Princess Celestia today?”
“I have not seen my sister in some time, no. She left on some errand to Ponyville shortly after I rose the moon. Why?”
“Well…are you familiar with mental magic at all?”
“Intrinsically and tragically. Get to the point, pink one, I do not have all day.”
I may as well just get it over with. Pinkie took a deep breath.
“Twilightusedamindreadingspellonmebutitdidn’tworkandsomymindinvadedhersandthenweuseditonRaritybecauseshewasgettingsuspiciousandthenSpikecalledCelestiaandsoTwilightuseditonherandnowtheyreallcrazyandthey’regoingtotakeoverEquestriaandit’sALLMYFAULT. Whew!”
“What?”
Pinkie took a slow breath. “Twilight Sparkle was practicing a mind reading spell on me, and…didn’t do it correctly. It put a copy of my mind into hers, and she started to act like me. And after we used it on our friend, Spike told the princess, but when Celestia came to help Twilight used it on her too. And now all three of them have gone crazy, and are going to try and do it to all of Equestria!”
“WHAT!?” Luna’s magically-amplified voice echoed down the halls, and small bolts of electricity arced across her body.
“It’s all my fault. I should’ve checked on her more. I should’ve warned her. I shouldn’t have let myself talk her into giving in, it was a… I was just so… For that moment, I pictured everything, having a friend just like me. I didn’t want it to turn into this. And now everything’s out of control, and I didn’t know who else to turn to, and it’s all my fault, and…” Pinkie trailed off as tears started to swell up in her eyes.
The sight of Pinkie crying on the floor stalled Luna’s anger, and she managed to take a deep breath and reign in her magic.
“Calm down…uhm, what was your name again?”
“*SNIFF* Pinkie Pie.”
“Right, Pinkie Pie. We must go to Ponyville immediately, and purge your thoughts from my sister, as well as whoever else they have used this spell on. We can discuss the repercussions of your foolish actions later.”
“You know how to undo it!?”
“The book Twilight Sparkle learned this spell from should tell me everything I need to know to reverse it; provided I can get it away from my sister…” Luna mentally braced herself, calming her thoughts, holding back her anger at what Pinkie had done for later. “Alright, hold on to me.”
“Why?”
“I will teleport us to Ponyville, it will be faster.”
Pinkie clung to Luna’s leg. Luna closed her eyes, picturing Ponyville in her mind, and in a flash of blue energy and lightning, the two of them vanished.