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// 24. Suicide 
// Story: The Name of Our Mistakes 
// by ObabScribbler 
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Clover sat in the centre of a circle of different coloured candles, eyes closed as he carefully picked through another layer of past events. Psychometry was even more complicated than he had predicted. It required long hours of careful observation and even more careful elimination. He had found that each layer of past events was not chronologically defined. Stretches of time when nopony had been in the chamber did not register, for which he was grateful. It was only when life and movement entered the place that his spell had something to work with and showed him what had happened.

He went backwards, seeing first the events of today, then yesterday, then the day before, and so on in short bursts of time. Each layer consisted of a few minutes, which he had to observe before discarded them as useless. His suspicions of the guards had not completely abated, so he was forced to watch as ghostly versions of them moved around the representation of the chamber the spell had created in his mind. Either fortunately or unfortunately, the always did what their reports said they had done, nothing more and nothing less. The Royal Guard were apparently a bunch of very truthful, very thorough, very loyal ponies. 

At the end of yet another fruitless layer, Clover sighed heavily. Marking his place as one might place a small peddle on the correct line of a scroll to keep it from furling up, he opened his eyes and stretched his back. The four candles still burned around him, though if he didn’t find something soon he was going to have to ask Celestia for replacements. He stood stiffly and snuffed each one out with a dot of telekinesis to preserve their lifespan a little: first the black candle of wax and ash from dragon-fire for sight beyond sight; then the yellow candle of wax and sap for grounding of his spirit while it was separated, even just a small distance, from his body; then the grey candle of wax and pieces of stone from the Elements’ chamber, to link him to the place whose past he wished to see; and finally the red candle, a mixture of wax and his own blood to bind the magic to him and him alone. Starswirl had spent a long time developing this spell. Even though his path had not crossed with his old mentor’s in years, Clover continued to marvel at the level of what Starswirl could do. The world would be a much gloomier place on the day he someday died.

But not for a long while yet, Clover thought. 

Unicorns had the longest lifespans of all three pony races. Some posited this was because exposure to magic increased longevity, which would certainly explain why earth ponies tended to be the shortest lived. Clover himself had only a few grey hairs in his mane and his wrinkles were only the laughter lines around his eyes, while earth ponies who had been colts when Equestria was made were now old nags. 

As he snuffed the last candle he realised through the green afterimages that a maid had left a tray of food for him at the circle’s edge. He was used to this. His trance while using the spell was so deep he rarely heard anypony enter or leave the chamber in reality and the kitchen staff had all been given strict instructions not to speak to him or break the chalk circle on the floor by stepping over it. Snapping him from his trance that way would not kill him but he would be left with the most appalling headache, lose his place in the layers and have to start all over again. Thus, whenever mealtimes came and went a servant would leave his tray of food at the edge of the circle for him to find when he woke and would return at some later time to retrieve it when he was done. 

Clover settled down to eat, still thinking about where he had reached in the layers. He was now at the day immediately after the theft. Surely there couldn’t be many left to go through before he reached his goal. He imagined what Celestia’s face would be like when he brought her the information she so desperately wanted. Not for the first time, he wondered whether some griffin magician had managed to slip in and do the deed and wished he had stayed in stalwart longer to learn more about their magic. Did griffins know how to create fire from thin air like dragons? But if they could, why then was King Sanguine trying to make alliances with the Dragon Lands? Dragons typically disliked anything that wasn’t a dragon and the older and more powerful they got, the more likely they were to incinerate first and ask questions later. Starswirl had once speculated that the only way a dragon would ever agree to help a race not its own was if it was hatched and raised by that race instead of by dragons –

The tartness of the soup momentarily startled Clover out of his musings. He smacked his lips, wondering what flavour it was. It looked like carrot but tasted like lemons. He took another mouthful, rolling it around his tongue. It wasn’t unpleasant but the sharp taste overpowered any other flavour. He took a bite of the dark crusty bread, finding it much more agreeable. In the end he only consumed half the soup and all the bread. He set the tray aside, hoping whoever had made the soup would not be annoyed with him for not finishing it. Then he used his magic to reignite the four candles and settle back to his work. 

He was even closer to his goal than he had realised. As he peeled away the layer of happenings where he had left off, he saw ghostly versions of Celestia and Luna in the chamber. Celestia ran from corner to corner, Luna raising her head as if trying frantically to sense a connection that was no longer there. This was the immediate aftermath of the theft. He was close now. He watched as Celestia made her announcement that she was going to go look for the culprit, and that whoever it was couldn’t have gotten far, and then left the chamber with the captain of her guard. Luna remained a while longer, watching as a combination of her own personal guards and her sister’s scoured the place. Then she, too, left and the scene began to fade. Before they could replay themselves, Clover reached out with the spell and took hold of the images as one might the corner of a piece of paper on top of a pile of similar papers. He peeled it off and set it ‘behind’ his consciousness, allowing the events preceding it to come into view. 

The door was intact. Finally, he was where he wanted to be. He shifted his consciousness to face the door and waited. Within seconds the edges flared, but not with yellow or orange flames as he had expected. Twists of black flame curled around the edges of the door. He watched in growing consternation as they stretched and whorled, melting the hinges. Then they flared and the doors crumpled inward in a shower of icy blue sparks. Clover watched in mounting horror as a figure stepped into the chamber and went straight to the Elements of Harmony.

Princess Luna?

Her whole body still crackling with blue and black flames, the princess of the night stood before the six bright gemstones set into two tiaras – those on the left shaped like crescent moons, those on the right like a blazing sun. Her horn glowed as she picked up both tiaras and brought them to her.

“First the wards treat me as an enemy and now this? Wherefore art thou silent? Wherefore can I not hear thy whisperings?”

The tiara of moons glimmered and Luna shielded her face from the light, dropping the tiara as if it was suddenly too hot to touch. When the light had faded she looked back, face shifting to an expression of rage Clover had never seen from her before. A moment later he realised why. The tiara she had dropped was gone. All that remained of it were three uncut gems, while the other three retained both their sun-shape and their royal setting. 

Clover understood what Luna herself must have in that instant – her connection with the Elements of Harmony had been broken. Somehow she had lost whatever special qualities bonded her with them while Celestia’s connection remained as strong as ever. This obviously angered Luna, judging by the tears streaming down her face.

“Wherefore hast thou forsaken me?” her past self demanded. “Wherefore didst thou seek to bar the door from me? May I not seek thy counsel as my sister doth? I aided her in casting those wards to keep out enemies only! Thou doth allow her entry and listen to her worries, yet bar my way? Wherefore? I am not thy enemy. I am thy chosen! I am thy chosen!”

When the Elements did not immediately heed her and resume their tiara she screamed at them. For a moment her eyes glowed startling turquoise, pupils shrinking to angry slits. Her mane and tail flared in rage, mimicking the stars of the night sky. 

“Wherefore dost thou prefer Celestia?” she sobbed.

Still, the Elements of Harmony ignored her. Clover watched as Luna’s mane and tail flickered back to hair and her eyes closed as if in sudden exhaustion. When she opened them again they were her usual shade of blue, though her tears had evaporated in those strange dark flames. Her horn flared and she tucked the three loose gems under one wing, holding them in place, and did the same on her other side with Celestia’s tiara. Then she departed the chamber as the images began to fade.

Clover marked his place and broke from his trace. He couldn’t believe it. Princess Luna was the thief? And the Elements of Harmony had rejected her? For what reason? And why had she taken them away instead of telling Celestia what had happened?

He got to his hooves to snuff out the candles but immediately sank back to his knees. He suddenly couldn’t get his breath. He struggled upright again but his chest felt tight and heavy. He clutched at the front of his tunic as bright spots flared behind his eyes. His heart beat faster, and every beat sent a more powerful jolt of pain around his body. He tried once more to stand but toppled onto his side and lay, kicking uselessly. 

Had the psychometry spell caused this? He knew it put a lot of strain on the caster’s body. That was the reason for the blood candle. He could see all four candles still alight, yet still his breaths became shallower and the terrible weight in his chest increased. 

He needed to tell Celestia what he had seen. He had to warn her that Luna had betrayed her. Princess Luna could not be trusted if she had lied about such an important thing and kept on lying about it. 

The moment the thought entered his head, he realised what was happening. It could not have been more obvious if Luna herself had stood over him and told him. Clover gurgled helplessly, without even the strength to call for help as his heart raced and finally burst in a shower of bright lights and infinite black.