A loud sigh of annoyance filled the air as a human walked up the current aisle she was in, doing her best to locate her travelling companion and close friend, Rarity. The human grumbled as other ponies and creatures passed her by, while at the same time giving her a curious look of bewilderment. The human ignored it; she was already used to getting odd looks when she first arrived in Ponyville, but now that she was travelling with Rarity on a business trip to visit different parts of Equestria for clothing inspiration, she had to experience that feeling of awkwardness with every new city and village they visited.
The upside was that creatures weren't fearful of her and even heard on occasion a few younger creatures actually confused her for being a special type of diamond dog. The human would have found it humorous, till she remembered there were unsavory words used to describe female dogs.
Going back to the thought of Rarity, the human sighed deeply and puffed out her lips, before blowing air into them. Her voice accompanied the blowing and a whimsical faux-neighing came forth, earning her the cocking of brows and double takes from ponies around her. She didn’t pay them any heed and instead continued her fruitless endeavor to locate her friend.
“You take your eyes off that mare for one second and she takes off somewhere else,” the human grumbled beneath her breath, but smiled briefly. “Wonder if she took off to the lingerie section… Just wish I knew where that area was…”
The idea of her friend visiting the lingerie section was something that pleased her mind, but it sank away as she stomped down the aisle until she looked up and noticed she had managed to come to the area where the cashiers were located.
“You know, for a fashionista looking for inspiration, you would think a large store that resembles a knock-off Walmart would be off her list of places to visit," she groaned, throwing her head back, getting ready to let out a defeated whine, until the voice of an intercom filled her ears.
“Bakery, you got a call on line 4, Bakery, call on line 4,” the rather cheerful, yet oddly disconnected voice spoke out.
The human didn’t pay it much attention, wondering if it was a code of some kind, or just an actual call to a worker. It wouldn’t have surprised her if it was the latter, considering most of the ponies and creatures in Equestria had weird names regardless. That being said, an idea started to form in the human’s mind. Moving her head back down, she happened to catch the sight of a moss green pony at a nearby cash register, moving away from a microphone. Briefly wondering if it was the same pony who just made the call, the human smile as a new idea started to formulate in her mind; one that would let her get back at Rarity for carelessly wandering off.
"Excuse me?" The human started to walk towards the cashier, only to notice that same pony disappear briefly downwards, before reappearing with a small wooden sign in their hooves.
As the pony put the sign on the conveyor belt, they looked up at the human with an almost empty expression as they began to speak without even looking at the human.
"Lane is closed, Missy," the pony replied with a nonchalant and tomboyish voice as she began to look up. "Go bother one… of… the… what?"
The mare paused as she spoke and her lifeless expression suddenly filled with life as dull green eyes stared up at the human with utter disbelief. The human found eye contact with the pony uncomfortable and increasingly awkward as no words were exchanged, until the silence got so maddening the human decided to break the ice.
"Ummm, hi?" was all the human could muster as curious eyes looked up and down her body. As the pony eyeballed her, she in return took in the appearance of the pony as well. Accompanying the green coat with a messy black disheveled mane, eerily reminding her of how she looked when she first got out of bed in the morning, and down below the human noticed a cutie mark that looked like a question mark.
"Hi," the pony replied, almost like the words left her mouth without her realizing it. "You're a hu… huh. You're an odd looking creature."
"Human actually," the human added, hoping to engage in a civil conversation. "I'm kinda new to this world and I'm travelling with a friend."
"Human, you say?" The pony replied in a tone that almost sounded like she was familiar with the species. "Definitely my first guess." The human tried to detect sarcasm in the answer, but for some reason she got none of it. "You actually look like one of those female diamond dogs at first glance."
"I get that more than you realize," the human groaned sarcastically as she rolled her eyes. "Kinda wish I didn't but whatever… anyway, I was hoping you could help me quickly."
"That depends," the mare replied as she relaxed her body and mannerisms, quickly returning to that same joyless voice she had prior. "My shift is over, so what do you want?"
So much for customer service with a smile.
"I was hoping I could use that intercom for a moment," the human pointed towards the nearby mic. "My… travelling companion has wandered off on me."
"Is it another human?" the mare asked with a subtle but nervous smile.
"No… as far as I know, I'm the first and only human in this world," the human replied as the sight of peach white pegasus caught her attention at the corner of her eyes, before she sulked and turned back to the mare before her.
"You ain't the first."
"What?" The human asked, unable to make out whatever the pony muttered.
"What?" The mare said back, sounding surprised.
"Could you repeat that? I didn't quite catch that."
"I think you're hearing things, Missy. Anyway you want to call your friend down here to pick you up right?" The mare replied, turning to the microphone.
"Uhh actually," the human started whilst trying to ignore the odd behavior. "Can I call her instead?" The human leaned forward as the mare reached up for the intercom button. "I don't want to use her name, considering she is a famous unicorn throughout Equestria."
The mare didn’t reply, and only watched the human with a skeptical look.
"Please?" The human begged, cupping her hands together. "I'll be discreet about it?"
The mare tilted her eyebrows. "How?"
The human smiled, trying to not grin in the process. "We got special ways of talking with each other. I just need 3 seconds on the mic and I'll be done… so please?"
The mare stayed quiet for a few seconds, no doubt quickly debating, until a small smirk appeared at the corner of her lips and she shrugged her upper body.
"You know what? To hell with it. I'm technically done with my shift anyways." The mare turned the microphone towards the human.
"Thanks, Miss…?" the human cheerfully replied, while at the same time hoping to get the name of the interesting mare.
"Anon."
"What?" The human blinked with confusion. There were lots of weird pony names, but that one didn't fit at all.
"What? I said my name is Anon." Anon replied as she surprisingly extended out a hoof. “Were you expecting some crazy name like, Sunshine Lollipops or Fizzlepop Berrytwist?”
"If I told you yes, would you hate me?” the human said with a grin.
“I wouldn’t hold it against ya,” the mare snarked back.
“Fair enough. My name is Lydia," the human replied as she reached up and shook the hoof in return.
"Nice to meet you, Lydia, " Anon replied as she pulled her hoof back and eyed it for a few seconds. "Anyway, mic's all yours. Go nuts."
Ignoring the awkwardness of the situation, the human smiled and turned her attention to the mic, before pulling it closer to her face. Taking a moment she wondered on how to address Rarity with the proper tone, until she smiled, took a deep breath, and pushed the button.
"Will the mare who answers to 'Psspsspsspsspss' please come to register 14?" She spoke up, putting on a seductive yet mischievous tone. "I repeat, will the mare who answers to 'Psspsspsspsspss' please come to register 14. Your friend is waiting for you."
Her actions were quickly rewarded with snort and a stifled giggle from the mare, and somewhere in the store, a certain white unicorn was now as red as a tomato.