And we're back! The data's in, the sim's gone through a thousand times or so, and we have the results. Now, we average together each sim to create the most likely battle between Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash. Now, my two "experts" have flown the proverbial coop, but like last time, I'll drop in from time to time with my own color commentary. So, please keep all arms and legs inside the couch at all times, locate the emergency exits nearest to you (keeping in mind that the nearest exit may be behind you), and let's get this show on the road! Roll film!
Hey, I just noticed we have a horizontal rule tool now! The authors won't have to fake it anymore with lines of dashes! Thanks, knighty, Poultron, or whoever added that! NightmareDash, give me another one of those!
The Everfree Forest, being sparsely populated as it was, was a place of quiet. With next to nopony to disturb the peace, it became an easy escape from the noisy confusion of urban areas. Such was the reason it had been selected as Scootaloo's final resting place. The stone-carved marker stood alone in the field, dotting the clearing, surrounded by trees. But today, another sign of ponykind had appeared at the site: Rainbow Dash. She had been there for the funeral a week ago, but she needed some time alone, to clear her head and pay proper respects.
"I'm sorry, kid. I tried to save you, you know I did. But I just wasn't fast enough. Heh. Fastest pegasus in Equestria, but I'm still not fast enough to help my friends when they need me most."
It was a moment of silent reflection, which was soon interrupted by the arrival of another pony. A month ago, seeing this much traffic would have been annual occasion. Twilight Sparkle stepped from the treeline, towards Rainbow Dash.
"I thought I'd find you here. We need to talk about a few things."
Dash whirled around, infuriated at Twilight's gall to violate such a precious moment with pointless discussion. But that was only a spark, and soon, she was prepared to let loose every bit of rage and sorrow she'd been burdened with.
"Yes, we do. Like about the filly buried here. About how she died. About how you experimented with dangerous chemicals in the middle of Ponyville. And how then, those dangerous chemicals reacted, setting off an explosion right in the center of town."
"Actually, that's exactly what I wanted to talk about. But more about how you reacted in the situation. Like how you, the fastest and most capable pegasus in Ponyville, couldn't be bothered to find a rain cloud to put out the fire. Then how you raced away from the scene, leaving the rest of us to fend for ourselves."
"You mean how I saw Scootaloo dying under a fallen branch? How I freed her from the rubble, then raced her to Ponyville General? How I did everything possible to save her life? Yeah, let's talk about that."
Ooh, this is getting juicy!
"Good, I'll start. First, I don't really remember you racing off with Scootaloo. I remember watching my notes and books burn by the dozens, waiting for rain to put out the fires. But then the rain never came."
"Funny, I didn't see that part. I guess I was too distracted by Scootaloo lying lifeless in my hooves as I picked her up."
"I figured that was your best memory of the event, given how you didn't stick around to see it end."
"I was kind of busy."
"Yeah, well I'll fill you in. It ended with me homeless, everything I own in cinders, Spike scarred for life, and every last bit of knowledge I'd gathered here in Ponyville gone."
"Oh, that's a real heartbreaker. Rainbow Dash loses her best friend, but never mind, because Twilight Sparkle lost a tree and some dusty old books. That's the tragedy of the year right there, no doubt."
"You really don't get what was in there, do you? Did you think that I spent all my time in the library just sitting around, reading The Filliad? No, I was experimenting. I was working out problems. I was making a difference. What burned up in there were answers to things like hunger, disease, natural disasters, etcetera!"
"You can get those back! You should've been sending them to the Princess as soon as you had them. But you know what I can't get back? Scootaloo. All I have left of her are memories and this hunk of rock over here. But you don't really care about the value of life, do you? You only care about your books. Stupid. Bucking. BOOKS!"
"I care about saving a thousand ponies in the future above saving one filly in the present. But math never agreed with you, did it? You ignorant fool. About a hundred ponies will die a year from starvation alone. And their blood, along with that of a few hundred others, is now on your hooves. I hope you can live with that."
"I can. If the same thing happened tomorrow, I'd even do it all again. So now it's time for your guilt trip, you heartless bitch. Because you didn't even consider the possibility of something going wrong, you decided to play with dangerous chemicals in the middle of a densely-populated town. For somepony lauded as a genius like you are, you're really lacking in the common sense department. You could've easily moved out here, to this very field. Then we might be seeing scorch marks right now, not a tombstone. And because of your idiocy, that explosion ripped apart your precious library and crushed Scootaloo beneath a flaming branch. By the time I got to her, she was already burned from head to hooves, choking on smoke, and wounded all over her body. And all because she was walking by, in the wrong place at the wrong time. In the end, Twilight, you've got nopony to blame for the library and your notes but yourself. But that filly did nothing to earn this. She was completely innoncent, and look where she is now."
They both took a long look at the grave site, but Rainbow Dash wasn't done.
"You know, I was with her at the hospital. They had managed to shock her into consciousness, but only for a minute or so. I told her what happened, and she asked me to stay with her. I spent her final moments of life with her; we talked about all the fun she'd had with her friends, how nice things were in Ponyville, that kind of stuff. But at the end, she told me that she was an orphan, with no family at all, and that she'd always thought of me as the big sister she'd never had. So that was my parting thought with her. I got to watch as my little sister died, a slow and painful death, and I was powerless to help her. So her blood is now on your hooves. Live with that, bitch."
"You can dramatize all you want, but those kinds of situations are going to happen by the hundreds now that I've lost my research. You just can't look past yourself and see the big picture, Rainbow Dash. And it's going to cost Equestria dearly."
"You want to talk about cost? Scootaloo is dead. And you are responsible. You caused the needless death of an innocent filly. And that carries a pretty high cost in my book."
"Like I've been saying, multiply it by a thousand and turn it back on yourself. That's what you owe. Does my debt look so big now?"
"Yes, because it's a real one. And not just debt, it's a blood debt. And let me teach you something today: there's only one way to pay back a blood debt."
"Then I'll gladly collect yours."
And... cue the slaughterfest!
Rainbow Dash launched herself across the field, tackling Twilight before she could react. She slammed her head with her hooves several times over, until Twilight shot an energy bolt from her horn, blasting Rainbow off. Dash quickly picked herself back up, only to quickly sidestep another Pulse Bolt. Twilight was up and shooting now, and Dash took off to dodge her blasts. She flashed out her wings and raced upward, but Twilight kept following with Pulse Bolts. Dash looped back downward, flying directly in front of Twilight, then banking sharply around her. She followed through in a circle, accelerating all the while. Twilight had already given up trying to follow, and was now just waiting for Dash to slow down and give her a clean shot. But that was not going to happen, as a current of air began to cycle above her, in the shape of a vortex. Dash was executing a Hurricane. Twilight was lifted off of her hooves and spun about at a dizzing rate in the cyan twister. But this wasn't the dangerous part; a cloud of dust and rocks had been sucked from the ground, and was constantly battering her as she flew. She needed to escape.
Spotting a large tree on the other side of the storm, Twilight waited until she passed it, then grabbed on magically. It held her limp in the winds, dangling her back hooves behind her and painfully tugging at her neck. But it was enough; she had a decent moment of stillness to focus, and used it to Teleport out of the whirlwind. She dropped down in the field, safely away from the Hurricane. Still needing a way to get at Rainbow Dash, she ripped a tree from the ground telekinetically, and flung it at the light-blue cyclone. The storm was immediately broken, and Dash flipped away from the touchdown point uncontrollably. Bouncing across the ground, she came to land against the side of a tree trunk. Twilight ran to her crash spot, but didn't get cheap shot she was hoping for; Dash was already on her hooves and ready to fight.
Retreating upward, Rainbow Dash dove in for a high-speed tackle. Twilight sidestepped it, but Dash pulled back up for another pass. Swooping in quickly, she connected with a flying punch before Twilight could dodge again. She landed in front of her, then brought her back hooves up to buck. She launched the attack, but something held her hooves back before they could hit, suspending them in mid-air. Dash turned her head back, only to find Twilight's horn glowing, with a devious smile on her face. Soon the sensation affecting Rainbow's hooves spread to her whole body, and she was lifted up into the air. Twilight tilted her head to the left, and Dash was flung into a tree 30 hooves away. She was still held aloft, and with another tilt, Twilight threw her into another tree. She had turned her into a pony pinball, dragging her across the ground, then tossing her at some natural obstacle, and repeating the process.
"Why... won't...you...die!"
"Because I..oof!...have too much...ugh!...to live for."
Well, that, and she's made of iron.
In a final act of desperation, Twilight heaved Rainbow Dash across the field aimlessly, releasing her grip and hoping Dash would hit something hard. Fortunately for Twilight, she did; unfortunately for Twilight, that hard object was Scootaloo's headstone. Rainbow smashed directly into it, shattering the stonework into a thousand shards. She flipped head-over-hooves once, lying on the ground with her head pointed toward the desecrated grave. She opened her eyes to see the remains of the marker scattered around her, and a spark of rage flared in her eye.
Oh boy, Twilight's done it now.
"You shameless bitch..."
An enraged Dash rocketed out of her landing spot, reaching Twilight in a split-second. She slammed into Twilight, knocking her down but continuing past her. The Speed Burst had begun. Twilight picked herself up and looked around, seeing nothing but an empty field.
"Rainbow Dash, where are you, you coward? Come out and fight!"
Just behind her, another shot of rainbow light began, launching directly into her.
"Right here!"
Dash's hit knocked her off balance, and she stumbled to regain her hooving. But as soon as she was steady, a third blast whizzed by her, imperceptably hitting her. Dash seemed to be talking as she blew past every time.
"Murderer!"
Yet another bolt from nowhere sent her crashing into the dirt.
"You killed her!"
Again she was hit, but this time the burst picked her up from the ground, launching her into another spot.
"And vengeance..."
Another hit sent her spiraling into the air.
"...will..."
This shot was even faster, connecting with her in mid-air.
"...be mine!"
A white blast flung her into a tree, then disappeared. Twilight struggled to stand up, but she was able to, and this time got a moment to concentrate. Just as another Speed Burst attack came at her, she vanished in a flash of light, causing Rainbow to skid to a halt.
"Where'd you go, Twilight?"
But as the words left her mouth, a Pulse Bolt hit her in the side, knocking her to the ground. Dash sprung back up, scanning for the source. She immediately spotted Twilight, and took off towards her. But as she reached in for the punch, Twilight once again disappeared, leaving nothing but air for Dash to hit.
"Over here, Rainbow Dash!"
Dash heard a voice from her left side, and turned fast enough to notice and dodge the energy bolt coming at her. She once again raced for her target, but again Twilight teleported away. She was not gone for long, though. A split-second later, Dash took a bucking in the head from behind, flooring her. She kicked back up, bucking at where she expected Twilight to be. But once again, she met only air.
"What's the matter, Dash? Too fast for you?"
Twilight's voice came from her right side, and Dash spotted her and pursued again. But like before, she teleported away before she could attack. And as soon as she reached the spot, a Pulse Bolt blasted her from behind, sending her skidding forward. She looked back to see Twilight disappear again, and slowly stood back up. Twilight reappeared in front of her again, and Dash launched herself at her. But as soon as Twilight teleported away, Rainbow spun on her back hooves, punching at the air behind her. As her front right hoof extended, Twilight appeared around it, seemingly enveloping it in her body. She continued to shimmer with energy, the teleportation process having not been completed. A contorted grimace of pain appeared on her face, as Dash twisted her hoof around inside her.
"Fast, maybe, but you're too predictable for sure, Twilight. Ooh, is that your heart? I'm sorry; I didn't think you had one."
Done twisting about Twilight's innards, Dash quickly drew her hoof out, leaving Twilight to collapse on the ground. But with a quick glow of her horn, she was quickly back on her feet.
"Good thing I know my healing magic. Screw up my insides all you like, I'll just zap them back into place."
"Then I guess we'll just do things the old-fashioned way."
Dash flew into Twilight, tackling her and delivering a volley of punches. She bucked her in the gut, then pulled her up into the air. As she prepared to make the drop, Twilight's horn lit up again, and a solid beam of energy blew across Rainbow's face. She fell back, reversing their positions. On top, Twilight made the most of the gravity slam, thrusting Dash into the ground. She took some free shots of her own, connecting punch after punch. But Dash was still able to flap her wings, and Twilight was sent off-balance and fell off. Dash was quickly up again, ready to continue the brawl.
"Come on, Dash, give it up. You're running out of steam, but I could do magic like this all day. You can't win."
Almost as if Twilight's speech had worked, Dash took off above the cloudline. It seemed like a retreat, but Twilight knew better of Rainbow. She would sooner die fighting than run away. Twilight, therefore, continued to scan the sky, watching for a sneak-attack.
High above the clouds, Rainbow Dash was also searching, but had far more success than her enemy. She was looking for a thunderhead, and one had just drifted in. She pushed it to a seemingly random spot, then gave it a good buck. The thundercrack boomed through the forest, attracting Twilight's attention.
"Rainbow Dash, I know that's you! Come out and take your best shot at me!"
Sneaking above the cloud cover, Dash descended back to ground level. She was on the opposite side of Twilight from the thunderhead, and took advantage of her distraction to fly down, unseen. She whispered the rebuttal she knew she couldn't resist.
"I plan to, Twilight."
Leaping off her hooves, she quickly accelerated to amazing speeds. Her focus was locked on Twilight, who was still looking towards the storm cloud. A mach cone began to form around Rainbow Dash, and she knew it was the do-or-die moment. Summoning every bit of grief, anger, and vengefulness she could arouse in herself from Scootaloo's death, she pushed her body to its limit by pure willpower. A rainbow spark ignited at the tip of the cone, and polychromatic light flooded over her, making her into a colorful bullet. Her target was approaching at ever-increasing speed.
"Twiiiiiliiiiiiight!"
Just as Twilight turned to the source of the shout, Dash charged headlong into her, releasing a blast of rainbow energy and wind at the moment of impact. The two of them became tangled up in each other, tumbling across the field at mach speeds. They soon entered the treeline, carving a deforestated path through the forest. By the time they had slowed down and finally stopped, with undesired the help of numerous trees and shrubberies, each was wounded in numerous places, and scratches and bloodstains matted their coats. One of Dash's wings had been twisted in a seemingly impossible direction, and every part of her body ached. But fueled by the will to win, she was able to pull herself to her hooves, though with a limp. She looked over to Twilight, who was trying to do the same. She had propped herself up on a knee, but even that gave out, dropping her back to the ground. Her eyes closed at the same time, leaving her without a sign of life.
"Boom."
Rainbow Dash wins!