Fifteen minutes later the curtains rose again. The first thing the audience heard was a simple bass lick as if the musician was trying to come up with something. Lights went up to a scene of three sirens lunging on the sharp rocks by the sea. One was a light green, one was orange, and one was white. The two of them (the green and orange) sat on higher rocks, looking down disapprovingly at the third who fiddled and experimented with a bass guitar.
The one with the instrument looked up at the two. “What?”
“You’ve been playing that thing for hours now.” The orange one said. “And I don’t see what’s so useful carrying that thing around.”
“I’ve been thinking,” the white siren plucked a few chords, “suppose if we learn how to use these things, it would enhance our magic to lure lost sailors in.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Quarto,” the green siren replied. “I know you may be inexperienced with these things. But practicing your voice is more than enough. There’s no need to… how shall I say this? Reinvent what’s already perfect.”
“But Nocturne,” Quarto protested, “I don’t see the effort of just singing alone if you can’t make it interesting.”
“Is that so?” the green siren said unconvinced. “And I suppose that you could do a better job while playing that thing?”
“Actually Suite, yes I can. I’d bet that I could sing absolute nonsense from the top of my head and I would get land-dwellers to gladly jump off the boat and swim closer to these rocks without your help.”
“My, my” Nocturne smirked, “getting ambitious, are we? Now let’s see…” She scanned around to try to find any vessels around when the Yellow Submarine came into view. “If you are so convinced, try it on that ship over there.”
“Alright! I will!” Standing up high on her perch she started to adjust the setting of her guitar.
The lights dimmed as a spotlight shone on the submarine when suddenly, the hatch swing open to the sound of the Captain still singing “Yellow Submarine,” while the band made a rush for it to be on the surface of the vessel and shut the door tightly.
“Silence!” Yaky said happily, “Sweet silence!”
“Goddess!” Billy exclaimed, “Whoever knew that old guy could sing the exact same song for days?”
“I admit,” Madonna said, “The tune was catchy at first, but now it’s-”
“Annoying?” The band asked.
“Obnoxious beyond belief, yes.”
“So how close are we to Pepperland?” Hoovy inquired, looking around, “I think I see land over there.”
“Uh…” Sgt. Pepper pointed at the sirens, “Hey, what are those?”
Finny looked over and saw the white siren holding up a bass and a claw raised. “Cover your ears!”
The siren began to play along with the Orchestra, two violent notes followed by a guitar lick that repeated for a few bars. This opening alone was intriguing to the ear, but Quarto started to sing, it was hypnotic. With her singing nonsense, it almost sounded like she was reciting a powerful spell with her voice. A voice that rang everywhere and nowhere. That it was beautiful when screaming and seductive when quiet. It sounded as if it was of thousands of voices at once and yet, it was coming out of a single mouth.
Unfortunately for the band, only Finny and Madonna covered their ears. Sgt. Pepper, Billy, Yaky, and Hoovy were caught in the surreal sounds of the siren’s singing. They were hypnotized by it to where they were mindlessly walking towards the very front of the submarine.
“We have earmuffs on board,” Finny said, quickly opening the hatch, “make sure they don’t jump off!”
“How?”
“You’re a shapeshifter, just change into something to keep them on! And keep your ears covered!” Finny hopped back into the Yellow Submarine while Madonna franticly tries to figure out what to do. Suddenly, she gets an idea and in a green flash, she turns into a Giant Squid. Quickly she wrapped an arm around each of the band members while using the rest to hand onto the sub. However, those hypnotic creatures struggled against her grip especially when the siren sings with absolute passion “Come together!”
“Hurry up!” Madonna cried when she felt her new friends were slipping away. Finny did come back with clawfuls of earmuffs and set about to put one on each of the band members. However, before she could put the last earmuff on Yaky, Madonna lost her grip and she jumped into the blue fabric sea.
“What the…” Sgt. Pepper blinked as she and the remaining bandmates looked around. “What just happen?”
“Mare overboard!” Finny rushed over to the side and, touching the chip pearl necklace, turned into a seapony and dove into the ocean of waving cloth.
“She’s going to need help,” Billy said, going over in after her.
In the blue fabric sea, Finny and Billy fought to pull Yaky out of the soft water. However, the Yak was so entranced by the strange siren song.
Meanwhile, on the rocks, the other two sirens could do nothing but gawk over the fact that Quarto was doing it! Although it was clear that she was making it up as she went, and unorthodox was her singing with an instrument, the crew on the submarine it seemed were jumping into the water. Especially as the Yak was using all her strength to come closer to the rocks. Her voice, while incredibly beautiful, was at the same time sounded more deranged, hysterical even while she spouted random words out of her mouth like a madmare. Creepier still, while they do what they can to help, Quarto’s grin grew wider as she sings this near-insane song with a riff to go with it
Even the strings in the orchestra added the tension that was going on stage. As if the violins and violas were sharpening the stress of the situation for both actors and the audiences. Like devils that cheered for another band member to jump into the fabric water and closer to a strong current to drag them into the sharp rocks.
“We’ve got to do something!” Madonna said looking around, “Where’s the rope?”
“Be right back,” Sgt. Pepper duck backs into the sub and pulled out a coil of rope. “I don’t know if it’s long enough to reach them.”
Thinking quickly, Madonna, still in her squid form, told her and Hoovy to hang on to one end of the rope as she went in after them. Taking the other, she dove right into the blue fabric water and swam as quick as she could to the other three members. Even when the rope didn’t stretch long enough, she used her tentacles to stretch as far as she could to reach them.
However, Quarto was delighted as she played a celebrity solo now that the Yak was caught in the current, dragging her, Finny and Billy, Madonna, as well as yanking Hoovy and Sgt. Pepper into the water. All of the band were sucked in with no hope of escape to crash among the rocks and sinking underneath.
Smirking, Quarto looked up at the other two Sirens with pride. The audience applauded the song before the other two Sirens could say a word.
“Okay, okay,” Nocturne said, “You’ve proven your point.”
“For now,” Suite got up as the ocean of fabric rose, “there’s no time to argue with the results, we have a job to do.”
The three Sirens dove into the water.
Now the scene changed to a rather disturbing sight. As the fabric of blue rose higher and higher, the audience can see the band was underwater, trying to swim up without drowning. Many of them were holding their breaths except for those that could breath such as Finny and Madonna who changed herself into a seapony. All of the actors were suspended in the air against the deep blue backdrop with fabric fishes swimming by and cloth bubbles slowly escaping their mouths.
And then, a strange sound arose from not just the orchestra but all around the audience. It sounded deep, uneven, and terrifying. Then the drums let out an aggressive rhythm as the Sirens floated down from above the stage. All around there was a burst of demonic laughter with other bazaar sounds as if played backward that spun around the Audience at neck-breaking speed.
When the Sirens sang, they did it as one. If Quarto’s solo was hypnotic, three of them were mind-melting. In harmony with the otherworldly sounds, they sang to the band to let go of their struggle. Taking off the earmuffs. Telling them to relax and go with the current, they’re not dying. They should surrender to the abyss.
Each band member they try to seduce to let go and drop further into the sea. Playfully pulling them further and further down. Inviting them with a smile into oblivion. The closer they got to one of them, the more they sink. At the same time, Madonna and Finny were trying what they could to pull them back up closer to the surface. However, the Sirens made it difficult as they outnumber them to get their friends air. It was a dangerous game as they went deeper and deeper.
Seeing that this was getting them nowhere, swam over to Finny while one of the Sirens play a Guitar solo.
“We need to get away from them,” Madonna said. “Let’s take them to the shore.”
“You get the Sargent and Yaky,” Finny told her, “I’ll get Hoovy and Billy.”
So quickly, they snatched their friends and swam towards the right of the stage. But even as they did, the Sirens were right behind them as they continued to sing their song. Perhaps it was their magic that the sea started to change from deep blue, to green, to purple, to red, to yellow, to sparking, to plaid, to cardigan tigers, to floating toothbrushes, Zebrican masks, a haunted mansion, a foal’s drawing, etc… the underwater sea became increasingly strange. It was like watching a stage malfunction or the scenery going mad.
Suddenly the Sirens swam up and disappeared in time that the fleeing band was suddenly caught in a force that despite their swimming, they were floating backward. They were being sucked into a force that made them drift closer to the stage floor and all the weird scenery went flying by them. So much so, that Madonna and Finny grip and slipped and together, they were falling and colliding with one another.
Then when they were all back at the deep blue fabric, they swirled around one another, drifting towards the floor when the backdrop fell on them. As the sound of the Sirens died out. It covered them all and revealing a new scene of a beach where nearby there was a field of strawberries and a single tree that a piano was strung up to it.
The band was washed ashore as the orchestra grew quiet; along with their instruments that floated and drifted onto the sand. They coughed while Madonna and Finny transformed back to their former selves. Sgt. Pepper got up. “Is everyone not dead?” They all confirmed this. “Okay… And it looks like the important bits have survived… whatever that was.”
“Where are we?” Yaky inquired.
“If I have to hazard a guess,” Hoovy said as he removed his hat in which blue ocean fabric fell out. “I’d say that we’re not too far away from Pepperland.”
“Oh joy,” Madonna flopped onto the sand, exhausted, “it’s just going to get weirder from here on out, isn’t it?”
“Look on the bright side,” Billy said, pointing at the plants. “At least we’re next to a strawberry patch. We have food laying all over.”
Sgt. Pepper nodded, “How about this: since we need a break from the Cirque du Soleil from Tartarus, how about we rest for a moment, have some strawberries, and then go on our way. All in favor?”
“Aye!” Said the rest of the band. Billy volunteered to go gather some of the berries while the others try to catch their breaths.
“So…” Sgt. Pepper said, turning to Madonna, “While we’re taking a break from all that crazy, you mind if I ask you something that has bothered me since you came along?”
“Yeah?”
“So… Why did you join?” she asked, “I mean no offense, you seem kinda young to be way out here with us.”
“Really?” Madonna scratched her head, “You want to hear this?”
“Well, why not?” Hoovy flipped over to her. “This isn’t called the Lonely Hearts Club Band for nothing. All of us here got here because we wanted to get away or getting towards something. Take for example Billy over there,” he pointed at the Griffon. “He was in a relationship with a marefriend of his for a couple of years until, one day, she left him for someone else. He’s here with us, not only he could sing and play well, but the truth is he needs us because he doesn’t want to be alone.”
“Tell you what?” Sgt. Pepper told her, “If we told you a little bit of ourselves, would you do the same?” Madonna agreed. “Okay, so… It may come to a surprise, but my name isn’t Pepper, nor am I a Sargent. Yeah, shocking, right? Well, what you need to know about me is that I’m a refugee. Where I come from, things have been falling apart so I went somewhere where I could start again from scratch. Over time, I ran into these weirdos, these outcasts like myself. We form a band where they nominate me, leader. That’s why they call me Sargent.”
“Yaky just need help. After coming of age, Yaks send children out into world to become Adult. Yaky ran into band when Yaky was having trouble in taking care of self. World hard to take care by one self, having friends makes life easier.”
“I’ll go next,” Finny raised her claw. “To be honest, I was feeling lonely back home because I was having trouble finding love that I felt sorry for myself for not having a special someone. But when the band came to town, I decided to follow them because they gave me a couple of good friends to connect with.”
They turned to Hoovy, “I’m here because… well… I’m bored. My family, while well off, there isn’t anything much excitement, nothing to look forward to. But then, when I found this band, suddenly I’ve been going on adventures to new places, meeting new creatures with these guys. Sure, we have our ups and downs, but regardless of what happens, we put up with whatever changes come in our way. And not knowing what’s going to come next is, honestly, exciting to me.”
“Your turn now,” Sgt Pepper turned back to Madonna, “So what’s your story?”
She cleared her throat, “I wanted to make a point.”
“To who?” Yaky inquired.
“Of what?” Asked Hoovy.
“That I can do things on my own. Look, as much as I love my parents, they don’t see my age. They look at me and only see me as the foal that was, but not the grownup that I’ve become. It has gotten to a point where they see me as defenseless and not prepared for the outside world that I don’t think they see me as a thinking creature and instead, they see me as a collectible doll that should be kept in a glass box for all eternity. It’s why I’ve wanted to join you. I want to prove to them and myself that I’m not defenseless.”
The rest of the band went quiet for a few seconds. Eventually, Yaky spoke up: “Wow… that’s heavy. Even for us.”
“What is?” Billy asked, came back to the group with armfuls of tennis ball-sized strawberries. “If nothing, then how about we munch on these a little before we head off?” While he was doing that, the orchestra began to play softly. The first thing the audience heard was what sounded like an organ being played backward.
After passing the oversized strawberries around, Billy gets in the first bite. He froze and his eyes went wide. “Oh my…” he turned to his bandmates, “Guys! Try this!”
“What? Hoovy asked, “Are they that good?”
“Just try it! This… Wow…”
Curious, the rest of the band took a bite, just in time to hear a sudden chord of an electric guitar, followed by an odd-sounding choir that invites them all to come down to Strawberry Fields. The lights started to change to waves of color that ebbed and flow. The Strawberry patch was moving and swaying while hooves were plucking at the strings behind the piano by the tree.
“Hey…” Sgt. Pepper nodded at her partially eaten strawberry. “This isn’t half bad.”
“These are so good.” Madonna moaned in delight.
“Maybe we should stay a little,” Billy suggested.
“Not long,” Yaky said, “Band still needs-”
“Just a few minutes,” Finny said happily, “We’re not that big of a rush, are we?”
“Party at Strawberry Fields!” Hoovy rushed in, and the others followed.
As the song continued, the bushes shook off to where ponies from different eras pop up. Here, a Conquistador offers another strawberry to Sgt. Pepper. There a Samurai leads the song with Yaky joining in. In the back, Hoovy downs a bottle with a powdered wig Prench aristocrat. From the front, Finny feeds a Pharaoh a strawberry. Behind the piano tree, Billy sings along with a Pegasi Centurion. And right next to the piano was Madonna with a ragtime player at the keys.
The music itself was relaxed, but at the same time, something was unsettling about the tone. Especially when the choirs sang that nothing about this is real. At times, it almost sounded like the instruments were playing backward. And at others, the guitar seemed to fade in and out or lost touch with reality. Even chords were wobbly and uncertain. The resulting sound was strange, otherworldly, and yet, not unfamiliar as music.
On stage, it became a little more apparent that something was off to the audience. While the band moved about, the other singers in period costumes didn’t. Some noticed that they stood directly above the strawberry plants that they pop up from. And those who got a closer look in the front rows saw that the vines intertwined with their legs. Even growing out from them as well.
Perhaps, more disturbingly, the longer any of them stood in one place, the more time is given to other vines to crawl up their legs. Trying to root them into the ground.
Eventually, near the end of the song, as the music seems to go backward very fast, another sound was heard from the piano player. Before Madonna could take another bite of a strawberry, her ears picked up. “Hey,” she said, “I recognize that tune. Isn’t that the Maple Leaf Rag?”
“It certainly is ma’am,” the ragtime player smiled up at her.
“Oh, that’s a classic old-timey tune.”
The piano player blinked. “Old-timey? It just came out this year.”
Now it was her turn to be confused. “What are you talking about?”
“You know, this year?” Madonna blinked. “899. This is only a few months old.”
Madonna dropped her strawberry and looked around. As if waking up from a dream, she started to notice her surroundings, especially at the vines that were trying to grow on her. She jumped and hovered over the stretching vines and quickly glanced at her friends that the plants were trying to lock them in place.
She went over to Sgt. Pepper. “Sarge? Hey Sargent!”
“Hm?”
“I think we need to get out of here.”
“What for?” She asked, picking another strawberry, about to put it in her mouth. “We just got here.” Madonna knocked it out of her claw. “Hey, what-”
“I’m very sorry about this Sargent.” She said before giving her a loud smack across the face. This given the desired effect as the Dragoness started to wake up.
“Ow… wha? What’s going on?”
“We need to get out of here, now!”
The two of them went to each member to wake them up, insisting that they should flee while they still could. However, as they did so, the ponies around them bid for them to stay in paradise. Yet they took their instruments and ran off stage before the lights went out.
After the applause from the audience, the curtains were drawn, to which the band walks back on stage.
“Okay, so can anycreature please explain to me what we just ran away from?” Billy demanded.
“Those strawberries you gave us,” Sgt. Pepper explained, “I think they were poisonous or something.” She rubbed her head, “I couldn’t think straight.”
“It’s like the lotus-eaters,” Madonna said, “the more you eat them, the more addicted you were to the point that you didn’t want to leave.”
“Were we there long?” Yaky inquired.
“No idea,” Hoovy said. “But we should keep moving towards Pepperland. We just follow the shore until we reached it.”
“Hopefully soon,” Yaky nodded. Behind them, the curtains went up to show the shadows of tents and booths. “This place no good at dark.”
“Well, maybe we could…” Whatever was on Sgt. Pepper’s lips fell when they heard the distant sounds of carnival music. Turning around, they see the stage began to light up with lights and bright colors. Grape lights illuminated the tents and games where ponies went about having fun. “Was this here before?”
“Hey,” Billy pointed out, “If there’s a carnival, there must be a town nearby. And if there’s a town nearby, that means we can rest there for the night.”
“Or maybe it could be another trap.” Sgt. Pepper said. “Still, we need a place to rest so we’ll check this place out.”
As the band started to enter into the fairgrounds, they walk past small crowds that carried clouds of cotton candy, popcorn, and freshly roasted peanuts. Here, there, and everywhere else, carnival games were being played from ring toss to knocking down pins with a ball. In the background of this scene, the audience can see a moving fairs wheel and a roller coaster in lights. Yet, in the center of all of this was a big tent with a spotlight to lit up to a small platform in the middle.
Stepping into the spotlight, a Zebra mare with a top hat and a red ringmaster’s coat stepped up. “Mares and Gentlecolts!” she declared. “Come in! Come close! My name is Madame Fanqie, and here at the Carnival of Light, we bring you some of the most incredible, unusual feats in all the world! We got freaks, we got acrobats, magicians and more! Those afar, come near, and witness to the strangest show you’ll ever see! Tonight,” she pointed upwards, “we’ll be hosting a performance for being the benefit of Mr. Kite!”
As spotlights broke off from the mare and wobble upwards here and there, the audience heard from the Orchestra the sounds of a carnival pipe organ and a sneer-drum playing a whimsical tune.
Madame Fanqie begins to sing when the spotlights shine on an Earth Pony stallion wearing a blue kite costume, doing flips on the flying trapezes and trampolines. Here and there, the stallion performing would spin, fall, bounce, and fly over from one suspended trapeze to the other. However, Mr. Kite wasn’t alone. In yellow, a couple maneuvers and help the stallion over each other with hoops and garters. Even this circus act came included with flammable rings in which the acrobats did successfully fly through successfully.
Meanwhile, in the audience, Starlight was fixated on this, drooling.
It wasn’t just the air that was getting attention. On the stage, as if appeared out of nowhere, there were clowns, fire eaters, jugglers, bearded mares, conjoint twins, and contortionists. Together, they took turns between performing their acts and dancing with the carnival-goers. Even the band had to navigate this colorful parade, this three-ring circus to get up to the Ring Master.
However, they had difficulty trying to get there as suddenly there were ponies on bicycles and unicycles crisscrossing the stage doing tricks and flips in time to the trapeze artists above them. They balanced themselves on a single wheel one moment, then taking turns to bounce on a ball without hitting each other the next.
The audience at this point noticed that despite being such a short song, there was so much going on all at once. However, when it did end, they were entertained enough to give it applause.
“Hey, excuse us,” Sgt. Pepper called out. “Hey, Ringmaster, over here!”
Madame Fanqie finally took notice of the band. “Oh? Now, who would these colorful characters be?” She asked stepping down from her platform.
“My name is Sgt. Pepper, and this is my Lonely Hearts Club Band. Forgive us barging in like this, but we hope that you could give us some directions.”
“A traveling band I see… Where are you trying to go?”
“Pepperland.”
The Zebra mare gave a low whistle. “My my… Unless you know a shortcut, you have such a long walk ahead of you.”
“Or perhaps,” Madonna pipe up, “you could lead us to a nearby town for us to get some sleep?”
She shook her head. “No can do, this carnival is the only source of civilization that’s two weeks from everywhere. And Pepperland alone… I’m afraid it’s much further if you don’t know a short-cut.”
“What shot-cut?” The whole band asked.
Madame Fanqie mused over for a moment. “That depends. What do I get in exchange?”
“What are you talking about?” Billy inquired.
“Here at the Carnival of Light, you don’t get much for nothing. Sometimes, you have to trade for something like bits or favors. So, if I told you a short-cut to Pepperland, what will you give me in return?”
“Well…” Sgt. Pepper looked around, “We are a band, and we could play a song or two for you.”
“Yes… but all of you want a place to sleep tonight as well. So that means you might owe me a favor.”
Madonna raised a hoof. “In theory, if we said yes to this favor, what exactly is it?”
The Zebra Ringmaster smiled, “Well, we are hosting a dog show tomorrow morning. But the band I have is running out of fresh tunes. I suppose that if you agree to do that and give something original, I’ll let you stay here for free and give you directions to that short-cut. So what do you say?” She reached out her hoof. “Deal?”
Looking behind her at the band, they nodded to her to agree. So Sgt. Pepper reached out her claw to grasp the Ringmaster. “Deal.” And the lights faded to applause.
In the dark, the audience could see the setting of the set was being moved around here and there is a confusion of props and actors getting ready in position for the next scene. There were also flashes of green flames here and there as the Changeling actors turned into something else.
When the lights went up, the band was standing on a platform in the middle of a big top tent with rows upon rows of spectators. The stage itself was crawling with Timberwolves, Diamond Dogs, Cerberus, Werewolves, an apomorphic gray wolf with an annoyed look on his face carrying a sign that said, “I Swear I’m Not a Furry.” And many more other strange canine creatures swarming around the band.
Sgt. Pepper’s expression was anything but amusement. If anything, it was sarcastic. “Just a dog show, she says. It’ll be easy, she says.”
“So, who said that this may be a trap again?” Billy asked. “Still, no time for blaming here.”
“He’s right.” Finny agreed. “We got to do something.”
“Great!” Yaky nodded, “How about singing?”
“Yaky, I don’t think-” Sgt. Pepper began saying but was quickly interrupted.
“No, she’s right,” Madonna said. “I think that’s our way out. We all practiced that new song from last night, right?”
“How’s that going to help?”
“Well look around,” Hoovy waved a hoof. “Do we have much of a choice?”
Sighing, Sgt. Pepper picked up her baton. “Here goes something. A one, two, three, four!”
At first, there was a low bass rhythm like a drumbeat. Then a guitar was added on top of it before a defiant piano rang out, getting the canine creature’s attention. The band builds up their sound a little louder and more aggressive to where Sgt. Pepper, Finny, Yaky, and Madonna stepped forward to sing as a quartet.
While what they sang was sympathetic, that all of them had tried finding happiness and innocence, only to find their brand of solitude, the tune wasn’t sad. The band kept it upbeat, yet had a wild edge at every bar. Playful as a puppy and at the same time had the bite of a wolf. A perfect contradiction in a dog show that could easily turn against them.
At the same time, two things happened at once. On stage, the odd canines were tossed enormous beach balls where a game that was a cross between dodgeball and volleyball erupted. For a moment, the creatures seemed to have forgotten about the band and focused on the flying oversized balls that went over one another’s heads. And in the audience, they were entertained by the rock song enough to stomp a hoof to the beat.
Meanwhile in the audience, Fancy Pants leaned over again to the composers. “Not to sound like a broken record,” he whispered, “I don’t know if presenting this as a play would work in the long run.”
“Maybe not,” Pull whispered back, “But you can tell that they’re having fun with it.”
“Yes, but to me, I think this would have worked better as a soundtrack or letting them be played as their individual songs. If it were on their own, it would be best, but stringing these into one narrative seems jarring to my tastes. While I don’t have much faith in this play, I do think that once these songs hit the radio, fans will go crazy for them.”
Once again, Twilight shushed them.
Minutes later when it looks like the creatures have been tamed and shooed away offstage, Madame Fanqie the Ringmaster came on. “Now that was performance was it not? Give this bad the applause they deserve!”
Once that applause did die out, Sgt. Pepper went up to her. “Okay, we did your favors, now which way to Pepperland?”
“As much as I love to have you stay for being so fantastic… we did make a deal. Come, I will show you the shortcut. She went up on the platform and pushing a few of the band members away, she craned down to have her teeth pull on a rope to open a trapdoor. “There it is.”
The whole band blinked. “That’s it?” Hoovy asked.
“That’s it.” The Ringmaster nodded. “Follow the tunnel and it will lead you to a path. Follow that path until you start to sneeze. And when you sneeze, you’ll find a gate. And beyond that is Pepperland.”
Although the band did thank her and descended into the trapdoor, Billy remarked before the scene came to a close, “Well it can’t get any weirder than this.”
Once again, the stage went dark and there was applause while the actors cleared the stage until nothing remained except for a black void. When the Band came on stage, they were illuminated by a few spotlights’ overheads.
“Ya know,” Billy said pointing out, “for a so call ‘shortcut’ it’s certainly taking forever. Where are we anyway?”
“No idea,” Sgt. Pepper looked around, “We’ve been going down for a really long time now. I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re in the center of the world or something.”
Finny stopped to look around. “You don’t suppose we’ve been tricked again, do you?”
Yaky sniffed. “Is it me, or does cave smell funny?”
“Hold on…” Madonna knelt down to pick something up.
“What is it?” Hoovy inquired. “Dust?”
She held up the powder close to her nose and sneezed. “No… It’s gowned pepper.”
“Huh?” Billy knelt down just like the rest of the band did to give the powder a sniff; and one by one, they sneezed.
“So, I take it we’re close to Pepperland.” Sgt. Pepper sniffed.
“Closer than you know.” Said a new voice that echoed in the darkness. “Really, I’m shocked that it took anyone else this long to find the gate.”
The band, like the audience, looked around this way to figure out where that voice was coming from.
“Who said that?” Sgt. Pepper demanded. “What do you want?”
“Funny,” in the back of the middle of the stage, a pair of glowing pink eyes opened, “I was going ask you all the same thing.” The band turned and as if being drawn out by a paintbrush, the creature came into being. It had the head of a ram, the eyes of a seagull, the spines of a pufferfish, the torso of a tuxedo cat, the tail of an iguana, a left-foreleg of an ape, the right a dragon, the left-hindleg of a flamingo and the right a slug. “I suppose I should at least introduce myself. My name is Xhiskchato, or the Gatekeeper to make things simple.”
“Gatekeeper?” Yaky tilted her head. “To what?”
“Oh, nothing much, just to a little kingdom called… Pepperland.”
“Really?” Madonna looked around. “Where’s the gate?”
The Gatekeeper giggled, “Oh you don’t think I would let it be so obvious that anyone could just mombo right in, do you? No, I have to make it appear. But I don’t make it appear until I’m certain the ones who want in should be let in. And if I’m to do that, you would have to be creative enough to enter.”
“Okay,” Billy said, “so how do you let anyone in?”
“Since I’m feeling lazy today, I can let you all in – by answering a riddle of mine.”
The young Griffon raised his eyebrow. “That’s it?”
“That’s it. Only, it’s a hard riddle. So hard, and yet so dangerous, that not many are willing to try to answer it, let alone attempt it and get it right.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because if you get it wrong, you’d be sent into an alternative reality where it’ll drive you to madness.” The whole band went quiet for a moment, so she continued, “However if any of you are daring enough, you could send the smartest and creative among you six to answer my riddle before being lost in insanity forever.”
Sgt. Pepper blinked, “Uh… Mind excusing us for a moment.” Gathering the band together in a group huddle, she asked them. “So… Should we do it?”
“It’s what we came all this way for.” Said Billy.
“We can’t turn back now.” Yaky told them defiantly. “Not when the end is in sight.”
“Yeah,” Hoovy looked up towards the waving Gatekeeper. “But even still, this is a huge risk. If any of us get it wrong, we could risk being turned mad.”
“We’ve got to try,” Finny spoke up. “But who’s going to answer her riddle?”
“Simple,” Sgt. Pepper nodded, “Madonna.”
“Wait, what?” the young Changeling blinked. “Me?”
“Why not? Ever since you came with us, you’ve been able to think fast on your hooves. So, if we’re able to get into Pepperland, you are our best bet in.”
Madonna hesitated. “I don’t know. What if I get it wrong?”
“You know, that’s a bunch of crap,” Billy told her bluntly. “In case you’ve forgotten, you came up with a song on the spot when we needed to get across the sea. Turned into a squid when we were in trouble. Was the first to figure out something was wrong at that Strawberry field. Help come up with the song to escape from being breakfast for a bunch of canine weirdos. And now you think you can’t answer a riddle?”
“I have to agree,” Finny nodded. “If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t have gotten this far.”
The other band members agreed.
When they broke from their group huddle, Sgt. Pepper took her aside, “I know you wanted to prove yourself that you can take care of yourself, well, maybe this is your chance to do it. Don’t doubt yourself.”
Madonna nodded and approached the Gatekeeper. “I’ll answer your riddle.”
The Gatekeeper grinned. “Are you sure? It’s a hard one, almost near impossible.”
She told her to do her worst.
Thus, began the play’s most surrealist song by the entry of two wobbly notes, with the orchestra opening the song with a harmony that constantly shifts. But that wasn’t the weird thing. As soon as the Gatekeeper started singing her riddle with confusing lyrics, her singing voice echoed her nearly nasally high tones that sounded strange upon the listener’s ears. But that wasn’t the weirdest thing either.
As the Gatekeeper speaks, the darkness starts to light up, slowly at first, into stokes and streams of kaleidoscopic colors and shapes. For a moment, they are formless and blurry until they became tangible. Out of nothing, there were pigs with wings that flew out of a gun. Suddenly Madonna is sitting on top of a cornflake next to a sign of a van stop. The Gatekeeper sells T-shirts that say “Stupid Bloody Tuesdays,” on them, wagging a talon at Billy for having a frown on his face. Suddenly the Gatekeeper jumps up, her head temporarily turning into an egg declaring to be the “Egg Man,” then to the band saying that they are that “Egg Man,” in which their heads did turn into eggs going “Woo,” before saying with the mask of big tusked walrus that “I am the Walrus!”
The weirdness didn’t stop there.
Into the orchestra, they dawned on a shoe on their heads and a pair of top hats on their hind hooves. The strings swap their bows for playing cards and the wind section traded their instruments for canvases to bang on. Even the audience isn’t protected from the odd occurrences such as a bench that turned into a mechanical alligator and moving the ponies sitting on it towards the back because it felt like it. In a corner of the audience in the back, one section turned into a tropical island. Even the fence that surrounded the audience turned into a house of cards.
Back on stage, the band members found that their instruments are playing on their own, and they were suddenly covered in fake fur-wearing masks. Sgt. Pepper was a walrus, Finny as a rabbit, Billy as a rooster, Yaky as a hippopotamus, and Hoovy as an elementary penguin. They were confused at trying to figure out what to do now as the Gatekeeper reprises to be the “Egg Man,” then to the orchestra saying that they were the “Egg Man,” in going “Woo!” and back again to be the Walrus.
Of course, Madonna still pondered over what all of this could be, and before she knew it, she sat next to the Gatekeeper having tea in a garden. The arch that connected to the dome came apart and floated a little bit off the ground to show the other, showing the chorus off the side. Then out from the sky, it started to rain caramel milk. Suddenly a student production of King Lear came on while the Gatekeeper repeated that she was the “Egg Man,” pointed to the audience saying that they are “the Egg Man,” in which every head in the audience for a split second turned into eggs and cried “Woo!” and back to her saying she is the Walrus.
The sky and the ground became shifty and turning different colors and shapes like the inside of a lava lamp while texperts choked on smoke. Above the stage, Discord in a jester’s jingle-bell hat finds all of this hilarious. Suddenly in the very back the Eiffoal tower erupts from the ground where snide pigs and Pilchard climbs up it. Meanwhile, Hoovy the penguin kicks Edgar Allen Poe while chanting something that no one could understand.
At the climax of this insane song when it all seems that the entire world had gone to pieces, reshaped and broke again, Madonna sat in the middle. Eyes closed as the music and the insane imagery all around her goes further and further away from reality. The orchestra grew louder, the chorus danced in a ring across the stage as a single egg being chanting something, and the audience is suspended in space.
Then, just as it seemed that nothing can be put back together, Madonna said one word.
“Nothing.”
In the middle of the Gatekeeper’s glee in folding reality on itself, she stopped – as did everything else. Everything came crashing down and back to the darkness from the beginning of the scene. “What did you say?”
“You know what I’ve realized?” She asked, “Anyone else would listen to your riddle and go insane for trying to figure out the answer. The more I thought about it, the harder it got. Then I asked myself if there was supposed to be an answer at all. I realized the answer to your riddle – is no answer at all. It’s nothing.”
The Gatekeeper applauded. “You’re the first in a long time to figure that one out. I mean you wouldn’t believe how many arrogant professors I’ve driven mad over the years. A bit disappointing that you weren’t one of them, but… you passed my test.” Clapping her paw and claw loudly with a crack lights dashed on stage and as fast as it could, formed a door. “Welcome to Pepperland.” She said, pulling on the door handle to let out a brilliant light.
Sgt. Pepper and the rest of the band celebrated, they rushed over to Madonna, hugging her. “You did it!” They would say. Now that their dreams were about to become reality. So, they all entered through the door in which the Gatekeeper closes it and a spotlight to dim into total darkness.
In that applause between scenes, Fancy Pants commented to the composers, “Well, I can see where the budget went to.”
Then, the final scene opened up, dimly at first like the dawn. The backdrop was a kaleidoscopic design of crystals that formed a throne room filled diamonds that sparkled like stars and bathed the stage in a rainbow of dots. On the floor in the center of the stage was a throne that sat a tall shadow and surrounded by other smaller ones nearby. As the lights and the gentle sound of strings help illuminate the scene more and more, the audience finally saw the ruler of Pepperland.
She was an alicorn that was similar to Luna in how dark blue she was but had a mane as pale and white as the moon. On her shout were a pair of round, granny glasses that changed and morphed colors like a kaleidoscope. The court around her was a rainbow of ponies, each of them holding an instrument that was strange and exotic to both the eye and the ear.
A courtier enters in, bowing to the ruler of Pepperland, “Your Majesty, we have a band from far away that is seeking an audience with you.”
Luna raised an eyebrow, “Why do they seek an audience with me?”
“They hope to gain your patronage, My Lady.”
“Do they bring instruments similar to these?”
The courtier looked around. “No, they brought their own.”
Luna hummed in thought. “Send them in.”
Bowing, the courter left momentarily to bring in the band.
“At long last,” Sgt. Pepper said, “Hello Your Highness, allow me to introduce ourselves. I am Sargent Pepper, and this is the Lonely Hearts Club Band. We have come such a long way to finally see you.”
“So, I’ve heard.” Luna took off her glasses, revealing her silver irises. “And I was told that you wished for me to be your patron.”
“Yep!”
“What kind of music do you play?”
“The kind that uplifts the spirits and has fun doing so. If you let us, we could sing you a song to give you an idea of what we do best.”
“Hmm… Very well. Commence with your playing.”
With a grin, she turned to her band. “Alright. A one, a two, and a-”
“There you are!” Before the band could play a single note, suddenly the parents from Act One came marching in. The mother marched over to Madonna, “We have been looking all over for you!”
“Mom?”
Her father comes in after his wife, “What are you doing next door with the neighbors?”
“Next door?” The whole band asked in surprise.
“Yes, I’m surprised that you’re here.” The father said, “We’ve spent days looking for you, and yet you’ve been hiding next door to us?”
Sgt. Pepper’s jaw dropped. She flew over to the father, “Hold on! Are you telling me this whole time that we took the long way to get to Pepperland? Who this crap!?”
While this got the biggest laugh from the audience, the mother went over to her daughter. “I don’t know, but you are in big trouble young lady. You’re coming home.”
“Now wait a minute,” Billy got in front of her. “Do you have any idea what she has been doing this whole play?”
“She’s done nothing,” the mother declared, “if we didn’t see it, she didn’t do anything.”
Yaky now stood in her way. “That not fair! She hero!”
The parents stood there, puzzled. Eventually, the father walked over. “Ma’am, I think you’re confused. Madonna is just a filly that needs to stay home.”
“Holy crap,” Hoovy said, “You two don’t have any idea what she’s capable of, do you?”
“That’s none of your-”
“Stop!” Sgt. Pepper snapped at them. “You know, during these past few days, I’ve wondered why she joined up with us. And now, I can see why she away – it’s because you don’t have any faith in her at what she can do.”
“She needs to come home.” The mother insisted.
Taking Madonna by the hoof, Sgt. Pepper led her over to Luna. “Ma’am, with your permission, will you let us play?”
“I’ve been waiting for that until this family drama came into my court.”
Picking up her guitar, Sgt. Pepper told Madonna, “Don’t let them define you. You helped us out in the past, and now, it’s our turn. Sing them the truth of what we’ve seen you’re capable of.”
Taking in a deep breath, Madonna took hold of the guitar and stood at the front of the stage, with the band behind them and a pair of skeptical parents off to the side, the lights dimmed, and a spotlight showed down on her.
From the orchestra, the strings started to play out a melody that was between relaxed and melancholy, and yet, beautiful at the same time. At first, Madonna hummed with the strings, thinking about what she wanted to say and how. She knew that all eyes, especially the ones of her parents were on her, waiting for her to prove them right about her.
She glances over to them, and her mother waves a hoof for her to drop this game and just come back home to a life of safety and boredom.
Then, she began to sing what was on her mind this whole time.
She sang a metaphor, how that every day on a hill, a foolish, grinning mare stays there alone. Although content, no one wants to get to know her because the world believes simply that she is nothing but a fool. While no one seeks answers from her, she on the hill can see how the world spins around its problems and solutions. An individual that was never taken seriously, seemingly stupid, that because they look fragile, strange, or weird, doesn’t mean that they are.
As to the melody itself, in how she and the strings played it, something was haunting in the way it sounds. While the lyrics are clearly her speaking up in protest, it never came off as angry or whiny. If anything, much to the adult’s surprise, while she was trying to make her case, she did it maturely.
For the next several minutes as Madonna sang her song, the audience saw how the parents’ expressions have morphed from someone who worries that their daughter was going to make a fool of herself to being taken aback how capable she was. In the background, Luna and her court sway while the background turned to soothing colors of blue, pink, light green in harmony of the song.
At the end of the song, the audience and Luna’s court applauded. Madonna, seeing what she had accomplished, bowed to them.
Luna stood up. “I believe, this is the first time in years that I’ve heard a song that had passion in it. That is a voice that has gone through much and yet, triumphed. As Queen of Pepperland, I hereby grant Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band my full patronage.”
The band celebrated by screaming and jumping for joy.
Madonna turned to her parents, “I know you just wanted to protect me, but in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve grown up. I’m not a filly anymore.”
“But…” her father said, “don’t you still love us?”
She hugs them. “Of course, I do, but there are times where you have to let me go.”
“By yourself?”
Madonna shook her head. “No. It turns out,” she went over to the band and embraced them, “I can get by with help from my friends.”
The curtain came down, thus bring an end to the play.
While the orchestra plays an outro, the curtain came back up again for a casting call. One group after another came on to take a bow. First the chorus, then the minor characters (some of whom, such as the Ringmaster, the Sirens, the Canine cast, and Madonna’s parents were Changelings).
However, after the band came on to take a bow, the audience was in for a surprise. The last two to come on stage was Madonna and the Gatekeeper who, holding hoof and claw, suddenly busted into green flames to reveal who they really were – Madonna, the star of the show, was Antenna. And the Gatekeeper was Ocellus. Ocellus gusted Antenna forward to give her the applause that she deserved.
Then together, the whole cast bowed, and the curtain closed.
Behind the curtains, Ocellus went up to Antenna. "You did fantastic out there!"
"I was worried that I might have messed up something." She hugged her, "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to do this."
"Phew!" Smolder came up to them. "I know we still have to record all of this tomorrow, but I'm relieved that we got all of that done. And just in time for Summer too."
Ocellus nodded, "Again, thank you guys a lot for doing this."
"Hey, it isn't every day that you get to perform alongside with a friend that's also a celeb. Speaking of which, quick question before we go greet the audience, what are you going to do for your Summer break."
"Oh you know," Ocellus said casually. "Work with McCart, Dawn, and Star with some more songs for the final concert." The entire stage went quiet. "What?"
"Uh... Final concert?" Gallus questioned, going up to her. "What are you talking about?"
She blinked. "Didn't I tell you guys already...? Or have I forgotten to mention that I'm planning to quit being a music star after my last concert in August?" No one responded. "I guess not."