//------------------------------// // 30 - I Think This Worked Out Alright // Story: The Amulet Job // by Rambling Writer //------------------------------// The train pulled into Ponyville with no problems. No guards chased them down. No cops ordered the train to stop. No homicidal mob bosses teleported onto the train and blew it to bits. (Did Goumada even know how to teleport? Probably not.) It was almost anticlimactic when Starlight’s hoof touched the platform. They were home, they were safe, and the Alicorn Amulet was about to go very far away. With nothing better to do, Starlight invited everyone to the Castle of Friendship to unwind. (“So how much money could I make if I broke this off and sold it?” Gus asked as he pawed at a crystalline handle. “Like fifteen bits, max,” said Bon Bon, “have you seen Equestria’s gem prices?”) Everyone collapsed onto various couches in one of the lounges, and Starlight just stared up at the ceiling. For all she’d done, she still had a huge feeling of, “Now what?” They had the Amulet. So what? They were safe in Ponyville. So what? They were right back where they were when Twilight had left for the zebras. She’d expected to feel more… triumphant or accomplished or something. Not just, “Eh. Whatever.” Was this how Twilight and her friends felt after every world-saving? Rainbow perched on the couch’s leg rest and cocked her head. “You look pretty down, Starlight,” she said, grinning. “C’mon, what we did was awesome! How can you look like that at a time like this?” Apparently not. “I dunno,” said Starlight. “Just… tired, I guess.” “Well, if that’s the way you want it.” Rainbow laughed. “Listen, I gotta get back to training and really put these babies-” She wiggled her wings. “-through their paces again. They’ve had it easy for too long. See ya!” “Alright,” said Starlight, “goodb-” But Rainbow was already gone. Starlight was about to return to her hazy version of relaxing when Gilda walked up. “So… uh…” she said, “remember how I joined up with you ponies ’cause of money? Well…” “Want some help counting?” asked Starlight. She also needed to count out the money for Gus, too. Twenty thousand, right? “Please,” groaned Gilda. “At this point, I don’t even wanna take more than my fair share because that’d mean even more counting.” Starlight dragged their bags over to a far corner of the room, where Bon Bon was squinting at the dark relics they’d retrieved. “This one is trying to sound sexy,” she said absently. She pointed at a bloodstained locket with some nasty-looking runes inscribed on its surface. “It’s talking to me with all the breathy, sultry tones of some wannabe vixen and doesn’t get that talking about disembowelment in that kind of voice is one of the least sexy things out there.” She glanced at Gilda, at the bags, and said, “Money counting?” Starlight nodded. “Money counting.” “I’ll help. I need something to do.” They pulled up a table and dumped the bits onto it. Gilda took up one end, Starlight and Bon Bon another, and between the three of them, started the tedious process of counting out thousands of bits. It was a shame Griffonstone didn’t take checks. After several long moments of nothing but clink clink clink as the coins bounced off the table and each other, Starlight decided to stave off madness by turning to Bon Bon. “So what do you think about Goumada? Think she’ll come here or something?” Clink clink clink. “Honestly?” One of Bon Bon’s ears twitched. “She’s not done-done, but she’s definitely not going to be the big-shot smuggler she was. I mean, not after a group of thieves break into her vault and steal literally everything and escape her grasp. I don’t think she’ll even send ponies here to try and get the Amulet back; she’ll be all tied up fixing her casino.” She grinned. “Insurance on that thing is gonna be a nightmare.” Clink clink clink. “So we’re safe.” Clink clink clink. “For a few months, at least. And Twilight’s supposed to be back before then, right? So I think so. Unless she goes and gets herself tangled up in some plot to kill her.” Clink clink clink. “Knowing Twilight? She’d unravel it in a few days.” Clink clink clink. “Heh. True.” After what felt like hours of clink clink clinking, the amounts for Griffonstone as a whole and Gus specifically were sorted out. The respective bits were shoveled into bags of holding for easier transport. Starlight and Sunburst had spent some time on the train shoring up the enchantments on said bags; each of them would last a lot longer, now. When Starlight found him, Gus was examining one of the pillars like he was debating trying to rip it from the foundation and take it home with him to sell. He looked up when she tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey,” she said, and held out the bag. “Your money, as promised. Thanks for helping us.” “This is it?” grunted Gus. He held the bag at a distance, between the tips of two talons, like it was diseased. “There’s no way there’s twenty thousand bits in here.” “Reach inside,” said Starlight. “Do it.” Gus rolled his eyes and put his talons into the bag. Then his elbow. Then all the way up to his shoulder. He blinked and pulled his arm back out. He wiggled his talons, then plunged them back in. “Can I keep the bag?” he asked. “This is way better than twenty thousand bits.” “Sure. Keep the money, too.” “Sweetness.” Gus swung the bag over his shoulder like he was ready for a big journey, but it was less than dramatic when the bag was barely the size of his fist. “Hey. Gilda. Wanna head back to Griffonstone with me?” “If it’s now, yes,” Gilda said emphatically. “I feel like I’m gonna break something in this stupid shiny place. So, um, Glimmy.” She shuffled her wings, her feet, then tentatively held out a claw. “Thanks for an… interesting couple of weeks. And. Um. Thanks for help with the whole ‘money’ thing.” “Sure.” Starlight extended a hoof and they shook. “Um. Anytime.” “If this happens again, Griffonstone’s really going down the crapper. But okay.” Gilda flashed an awkward smile that looked like she didn’t want to admit to smiling. It quickly vanished. “C’mon, Gus,” she said as she exited the room. Gus grinned and waved. “Later, raiders.” And he was gone, too. “I should get going, too,” said Bon Bon. “The shop needs to be reopened.” She made to leave, but Starlight pulled her to a stop. “Hang on. Bon Bon, I know you didn’t want to do this, so thanks for sticking through to the end. And keeping your cynicism down.” Bon Bon lightly pulled out of Starlight’s grip. “It needed to be done,” she said gruffly. Her voice softened as she added, “But I guess it could’ve gone worse. And… being… on an adventure was kinda fun.” She blinked and shook her head. “But don’t even think about needing it again, okay? I don’t want that sort of stress again.” Starlight grinned. “I’ll do my best, so: terribly. See you.” Bon Bon gave her a nod and left. Before she could retire to a sofa, Thorax slowly came up to her, one step at a time. “Um. Starlight?” He took a deep breath. “I, I just wanted to say, um…” He rubbed one leg against the other. “Thank you for- letting me help. I-” “Letting you help?” said Starlight. “Thorax, without you, we never would’ve made it! You got us money, you got us into the security room, you-” “But you still trusted me enough to do those things in the first place!” said Thorax. “And- it’s kinda weird to… be wanted. Bad hive memories,” he added quickly and quietly, “don’t worry about it.” “Of course I trusted you,” scoffed Starlight. “Sunburst trusted you, and I trust him, and I think trust is kinda transitive.” “I know.” Thorax smiled. He had fangs and still looked utterly unthreatening. “Thanks anyway.” After a second’s thought, Starlight grabbed Thorax in a hug. He could probably use it. And if he didn’t? Well, she was feeling huggy at the moment. “And thanks for being willing to go into the casino so many times,” she said. “I know that wasn’t easy for you.” “It’s easier in hindsight,” trilled Thorax, his wings buzzing. “You’re welcome.” Sunburst poked his head over Thorax’s shoulder. “And, um, Starlight?” he said, pushing his glasses up. “I’m, I’m glad we could help. Sometime, I, I’d like to just- get together and brainstorm spells with you. It was, it was fun. Kinda. Sorta. Ish. When we weren’t about to be captured.” He frowned. “Which was a lot more often for you than it was for me, so… Hmm.” “Being with you was fun, don’t worry,” said Starlight. She nudged Thorax, and he reluctantly relinquished his hold on her. “I just wish it could’ve been under better circumstances. Talking about magic sounds fun. Maybe-” “I’ll join!” piped in the Doctor. “I’ve always been a stallion of science, but my eyes have been opened to the possibilities of combining it with magic! Ah, the things we can build… If we three just-” Derpy swatted the Doctor. “No! Bad doctor. No randomly inserting yourself into other ponies’ lives again!” “But they’re just talking about magic!” protested the Doctor. “I don’t see why- Oh! Ooooooooh.” He turned beet red. “I’ll- just be going then, shall I?” He sidled backwards for the door. “I thank you and your companions for a most interesting couple of weeks!” he said to Starlight without looking at her. “What he said, but less cluelessly,” said Derpy. She smiled and waved at Starlight as she left. “We’d, uh, we’d better get going, too,” Sunburst said to Thorax. “I think the next train for the Crystal Empire leaves in, in twenty minutes.” Thorax nodded and poofed back into Crystal Hoof. “See you, Starlight. Thanks for… everything.” Once they were gone, the only pony left was Lyra, lying facedown on the heavenly couch like she wanted to be absorbed by it. Starlight lightly poked at her. “You gonna be there a while?” “Probably.” Lyra rolled onto her back and wiggled her way deeper into its cushions. After a second, she reluctantly added, “Unless you want me to leave-” “No, that’s fine, I just needed to know if you were going to hang around. I’ve got something to do, anyway.” “Really? We’ve already got the stuff. What’re you gonna do?” “Something I should’ve done in the first place. I’m going to write a letter.” Princess Luna remained impassive as Starlight explained everything to her. Goumada showing up on her doorstep, the loss of the Alicorn Amulet, the heist, the recovery of the other dark artifacts in the process, everything. Her wings didn’t so much as twitch, although Starlight got the strangest feeling Luna was holding back a smile the whole time. “…and once we got back to Ponyville,” continued Starlight, “I figured that, since all that dark magic stuff needed to go somewhere safe, I might as well bring it all to you.” She lifted up the bag filled with artifacts; concentrated dark essence was causing something unspeakable and noisome to drip from the seams and burn holes in the floor. “Sorry about the slime.” For a moment, Luna merely looked pensive. She flexed her wings and sighed. “What. An. Idiot.” “Sorry,” said Starlight reflexively. “Not you,” said Luna. Pause. “Well, yes you. But mostly Twilight. She ought to have turned the Amulet over to us the second Trixie abandoned it. An amusing fact about dark artifacts such as this: they always manage to find their way into the hooves of those who would abuse them. Merely burying the past ensures that it will eventually be dug up again, and what is lost shall always be found. Rest assured, my sister and I shall keep these items properly secured. But, ah, try to keep the slime off the throw rug, would you please? It’s new, and the company would be quite upset if I had to exchange another rug under their return policy.” “Right.” Starlight put the bag back on the floor, careful to avoid the rug. Considering the quality of the stone floor she was putting it on, it wasn’t much of an improvement. “And I… guess we probably should’ve come to you first?” She grinned nervously and her ears twitched. “I just didn’t want to embarass myself any more than I already had, which-” But Luna shook her head. “I doubt the Crown could have offered much in the way of assistance. Goumada possesses an army of lawyers ready to head off any attempts at investigating her properly, we have very little usable evidence against her, and the Guard always draws attention to itself some way or another. But a hodgepodge assemblage from a rural town such as yourself, particularly one with no experience in elaborate burglary? It is not for no reason she never saw you coming. She may have designed her system to be foolproof, but one must never underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.” Starlight opened her mouth to protest, but that statement was distressingly accurate, so she closed it again. “Furthermore, going for broke and stealing everything in that vault will undoubtedly hurt her reputation as one who can secure artifacts — and in that sort of business, ponies live and die on their reputation.” Luna’s face was impassive as she added, “Sometimes literally. With her main source of income in tatters and the repairs to her casino draining her coffers like a sieve, I find it unlikely that she will ever be able to regain her former sway. And a major smuggling link between Equestria and Griffonstone severed, to boot. All because of one highly illegal act the Crown could never do.” “So, uh… thievery, ho?” Starlight tentatively pumped a hoof in the air. Luna smiled. “Thievery, ho, indeed. Still, in case she seeks some form of vengeance, no matter how small, I shall arrange to have a small guard detachment deployed to Ponyville, for…” She waved a hoof vaguely. “…something, something, Everfree Forest, danger, protection. If she returns for you, they shall stop her.” “Thank you.” “And ultimately, with the only harm done being to an artifact smuggler, I am willing to keep this under wraps if you are.” Luna smiled and winked. “After courting the zebras — you know I mean diplomatically, do not give me that look! — I think Twilight could use a bit less stress in her life.” In her attempt to quickly bow, Starlight accidentally smashed her head into the table. She didn’t care. “ThankyouYourHighness!” she gasped, half from relief, half from pain. “I didn’t know what I was going to say to Twilight when-” She cut herself off as Luna raised a hoof. “I understand,” said Luna, “when it is best to keep secrets. You most certainly could tell Twilight about it-” (Starlight blanched.) “-and demonstrate that you have grown into a team player-” (Starlight’s blanch grew a bit less so.) “-but I shall leave that to your discretion.” “Absolutely,” said Starlight. She was absolutely never going to speak of this again, ever. When she finally got back to the Castle of Friendship, Starlight was alone. The ponies and nonponies she’d spent two weeks living in such close proximity with were gone and the Castle was larger than the villa. Every step she made echoed through the crystalline hallways several times over and every room felt empty. She kept thinking she was about to run into somepony, ready to talk about something or other. Some sneaky spell or newfangled, half-conceived homemade gadget they could use. It’d been nice, having someone to talk to around all the time. Kind of weird to think that she’d be missing the days when she was neck-deep in a heist. Still, friendship and all. Speaking of friendship, she had a lot of friendship lessons to write essays on. The heist of the season hadn’t changed that. After some searching, she’d collected all the papers she’d written and Twilight had assigned. The first one she picked up was awfully familiar. “Socioeconomic paradoxes of friendship,” she muttered to herself. Snort. “Easy.” Except she caught herself writing down, In sufficient density, friendship can deprive the friendless of large quantities of material wealth. I know this personally, for- Then she sighed and crossed it out. It was going to be a long time before Twilight came back.