Jackass: Equestria
Losing the Farm
"Where's Applejack?" Twilight Sparkle asked worriedly upon entering Sugar Cube Corner.
Pinkie had invited all of her friends for the event, the purple unicorn found it odd when she scanned the room and didn't find Applejack amongst her friends.
"Oh, hey Twilight!" Pinkie Pie replied with a smile, happy to see her friend had made it to one of her famous parties. "I don't know where AJ is, she said she would be here after taking care of a few things."
"That's odd, she's never late..."
The rest of her friends realized she had arrived and greeted her warmly.
"Hey Twi, what's up?" Rainbow Dash said with a smile, hovering above the rest of the mane six as usual.
"Just looking for Applejack." Twilight replied as she walked over to the table her friends were sitting at.
"Huh, I just realized that. You guys know where AJ is?" Dash asked, turning to the rest of the group.
Rarity and Fluttershy exchanged nervous glances.
"I'm afraid not, think she might be in trouble?" Rarity asked, turning to Twilight.
Suddenly, the earth pony being discussed burst through the door of Sugar Cube Corner, causing her friends to flinch and quickly look in her direction.
"Applejack!" Twilight said, happy to have found her friend.
The purple unicorn quickly noticed Applejack's expression.
"AJ, have you been crying?" She asked worriedly.
The orange earth pony continued to sob for a few moments before looking up towards her friends.
"We're losing the farm." She said softly.
Rainbow Dash leaned close to Rarity.
"That's like, the 5th time this month!" She said in a hushed tone to the white unicorn.
Rarity shot her a quick glare and walked over to her crying friend.
"Come now darling, just tell us what happened." She said, walking her friend over to their table.
10 minutes and 43 seconds later.
"...This seasons' harvest just didn't do to well. I couldn't pay the dues and they're gonna take the farm if ah don't get the money by next month!" Applejack said, summing up a ten minute explanation.
"Applejack, that's awful!" Twilight said, putting a hoof on her friend's shoulder in an attempt to calm her.
"Ah know, and there aint' no way for me to raise the money."
A thought quickly manifested itself in Rainbow Dash's mind.
"Guys." She said excitedly.
All of her friends looked up to the spot she was floating and listened attentively.
"I have an idea, but it's kinda risky." The rainbow maned mare said.
"Ah'll do anything to keep the farm." AJ pleaded.
"Alright." Dash said raising an eyebrow. "Have you guys ever seen Jackass?"
* * *
"You're suggesting WE do that?!" Twilight asked as the show ended.
"Well, yeah. What's the big deal? Those guys make a shitload of money!" Rainbow Dash said in her defense.
"What did you just say?" The purple mare asked, shocked at her choice of language.
"They make a shitload of money?"
"Why are you talking like that?!"
"Talking like what?"
"With the bad words and stuff."
"Well c'mon, they do it on the show and they're pretty fuckin' cool, I mean... shit." Rainbow Dash said, crossing her forelegs as she hovered above the couch.
Twilight was speechless. If this show had turned her friend into a profanity-using punk, she would have no part in making a parody of it.
"No way." Twilight said.
"Well how else are we going to make the money?!" Dash asked angrily.
"Oh, we could have a bake sale, or have a big party and sell tickets, or-" Pinkie Pie said.
The cyan pegasus put her hoof over the mouth of the pink pony, promptly cutting her off.
"Those all sounded like great ideas." Rarity said.
"Yeah, but those are boring!" Dash said, her hoof still over Pinkie's mouth.
The pink earth pony payed no mind and simply continued talking, her voice muffled by Dash's hoof.
"They may be boring but at least they aren't dangerous."
"For fucks sake..." Dash said with a sigh.
"Will you stop talking like that?!" Twilight quickly said, shooting a glare towards her friend.
"Why don't you fu-"
"Girls!" Applejack shouted.
Everypony in the room instantly stopped and looked towards the orange earth pony.
"A bake sale would take to much time, and a party that would raise enough money would take months ta plan." She said.
She sighed after a few moments.
"Ah know it sounds crazy but maybe we should give it a shot..."