On the Complicated Logistics of Kissing Beaks

by FamousLastWords


"That wasn't so hard, was it?"

This night is going to suck.” 

Spike looked himself over in his bathroom mirror for the eighty-second time. He was wearing a nicely tailored suit and collared shirt made specifically for him. No tie of course. As Rarity always told him: there was such a thing as too dressed up. He couldn’t shake the nerves that had been building up inside him all night. “I can’t do this!”

Spike turned away from the mirror with a large scowl smeared across his face. One would never guess the plans he had for the night with how deep his frown drooped. It was a sight that could turn even the brightest of filly scouts running for the hills.

Meanwhile, Starlight, who had been dealing with his self-doubt all night, was not going to have any of it.

“Spike!” Starlight yelled, slapping her hoof across his snout. “Get rid of that frown. I haven’t been helping you get ready for the last three hours just to have you give up. I even managed to get Twilight out of the castle for the evening so she wouldn’t be nitpicking you all night. Not to mention that you yourself put in too much work to let this night go down the drain. I refuse to let you be a waste of my time.”

Spike let out a breathy sigh. “I know, I know. I’m just nervous.”

Starlight rolled her eyes. “Remind me again: How many dates have you been on with Gabby?”

“Two,” Spike replied.

“Very good!” Starlight exclaimed. “And how did those dates go?”

Spike shrugged. “Pretty good. Between the awkward conversations, laughing at each other’s bad jokes, and accidentally setting a table on fire, it was pretty entertaining. I mean, we got banned from Curly Fry’s place! If you’re not getting blacklisted, are you really having a good time?”

Starlight nodded. “Exactly. If you’ve survived the first two dates, why do you think this one will be any different?”

“Because,” Spike said, his eyes widening. “It’s the third date. You know what that means, right?”

“The gods have been inordinately kind to you?”

“No,” Spike retorted. “It means we’re probably gonna… you know…”

“Woah now, Spike.” Starlight backed up a few hoofsteps. “That’s all on you. Leave me out of it. I’d prefer not to be mentally scarred for life.”

“No, I don’t mean that!” Spike replied. “We’re supposed to have our first kiss tonight!”

“Oh yeah, that.” Starlight chuckled dryly. “Wait a second, why do you have to have your first kiss? Don’t tell me you’re using a planner or something for your dates.” Starlight’s eyebrows perked, “Please don’t tell me you’re turning into Twilight.”

“Psh, nah. I’m not that much of a dork. It's because Teen Queen Magazine says so,” he replied. “That’s where I get most of my relationship advice.”

“I can tell.” Starlight rolled her eyes. “Look, I’m gonna give you a little bit of advice that you should probably take if you know what’s good for you.”

The dragon nodded. “I’ll take any help I can get.”

Starlight cleared her throat. “You can’t force these things. They just have to happen naturally. If you try to force it, you’ll just end up looking stupider than normal. Do yourself a favor and just go with the flow tonight. You don’t need to be following the do’s and don'ts of a magazine like it’s some kind of holy text. Especially not ‘Teen Queen’!”

Spike gasped. “Don’t talk about Teen Queen like that! It’s the voice of my generation. The front page says so!” The dragon shook his head. “Besides, you read the Equestrian Enquirer so it’s not like you have room to talk.”

Starlight blushed. “Just for the funnies!”

Spike waved a claw. “Whatever, it’s beside the point. Our relationship is heading that way on its own. After the last date, I’m pretty sure she was waiting for a kiss.”

Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Why do you say that?”

“Well, after our last date I walked her back home, right?”

“Right.”

“When I dropped her off, she did that thing where she hung out on her porch for an extra second, just kinda looking down at the ground.”

Starlight nodded. “Okay, that’s definitely a good start.”

“I wasn’t sure what to do, so I was about to look at the ground too, see if there was anything interesting going on down there. But then, she just looked up at me.” Spike looked toward the ceiling for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “So here I am, waiting for her to go inside like a normal creature does at eleven o’clock at night, but she just stays there.” Spike scratched the back of his head. “And then she started moving a bit closer.”

“Definitely a clear sign,” Starlight said. “What’d you do?”

“Well, in my infinite wisdom, I panicked.”

“Shocker,” Starlight retorted. “How bad was it?”

“Pretty bad.” Spike shook his head. “Right as she was moving her head toward me, I gave her a thumbs up, said goodnight and took off!”

“Spike?”

“Yes, Starlight?”

“Have I called you an idiot recently?”

“It’s been a couple weeks.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Spike nodded. “We’ve established this.”

Starlight sighed. “Why didn’t you do it? You really like her, don’t you? It seems like a no-brainer.”

“Well yeah, but…” Spike grimaced. “There’s just one teensy, tiny little problem I haven’t quite figured out yet.” 

“Which is?”

“I’m not exactly sure how to do it.” Spike winced, waiting for the biting remark that was surely coming his way.

To his surprise, he wasn’t blasted with sarcasm.“But Spike, this isn’t your first kiss. Remember when you dated Flitter? You kissed her! I mean, she broke up with you the next day, but you’ve done it before..”

“Yeah, but she was a pony.” The dragon let out a groan. “She has a mouth. That’s simple. Gabby has a beak! I have absolutely no idea how to kiss a beak. I can’t just go in for the kiss and completely screw it up. I’ll look like an idiot!”

“That hasn’t stopped you before,” Starlight replied with a chuckle. “But honestly, I guess I can see where you’re coming from. You’ve got a snout loaded with sharp teeth and she has a hard beak that could pierce skin with little to no effort. That is a bit of a predicament.”

“Exactly,” Spike replied. “She’s expecting it at this point and I don’t want to be that guy that just let’s the right moment pass him by because of something stupid. I have to figure this out, but I have no idea how. What if I ruin everything and she breaks up with me like Flitter did?. I really don’t want to lose her…”

“Hmm,” Starlight said, the gears in her mind turning. “Well, I guess we could get Trixie to help. We can  slap one of her fake beak props on her mouth and you can practice.”

Spike considered the suggestion for a moment before shaking his head. “Nah, if I’m going to practice kissing with anypony I’d prefer it to be someone with experience.”

Starlight shrugged. “Good point. She doesn’t exactly bat a thousand in the romance world.” She walked from the restroom back toward the room area, waving the dragon to come with her. “Look, you can’t tell anyone about this conversation because it might ruin my reputation of giving sass in every circumstance, but trust me when I say you have nothing to worry about.”

Spike followed her along, maintaining a small distance. “I wish I could believe that. Whenever I think about her it seems all I can do is find things to stress out about. It’s almost like I like her so much that it gives me anxiety. That can’t be healthy.”

“But that’s the thing, Spike. It’s a good thing you’re so nervous.” Starlight halted and turned around before laying a hoof on his shoulder. “It shows that you care. If you just did whatever you wanted or were completely thoughtless about it, she’d be no different than one of our friends, and let’s face it: despite the lyrics in the random friendship songs we sing, we both have more friends than we can manage right now. She’s your girlfriend; more than just a regular friend by a longshot, and your anxiety about it? It shows me, and I guarantee it shows her, that you care.”

Spike opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t find any words that made sense.

“Besides,” Starlight continued. “I guarantee you she almost feels the same way. So, are you going to let a little thing like a possibly messy first kiss get in the way of something that could be great?”

Spike rose a claw up, ready to protest and let his anxiety take hold once more, but he thought better of it. Instead, he put his claw back down and narrowed his gaze. “No… NO! I’m not gonna mess this up. Not again!”

“Great!” Starlight glanced toward a clock hanging on a nearby wall. “It’s just about six o’clock and your carriage  should be here any minute. No more feeling sorry for yourself. et out there,have a great night,nd when the time comes to give that goodbye kiss… don’t think about it. Just do what feels right.”

Spike balled his claw up into a fist. “You’re right.“

“Of course I’m right! I guess you could go wrong given your track record with females up until this point. But let’s just hope this time around is different.” Starlight smiled. “I have at least a moderate amount of faith in you!”

Spike deadpanned. “Thanks for the vote of confidence..” He took a deep breath and puffed out his chest. “I’ve got this. I mean, Gabby and I have been friends for years, right?”

“Right!”

“So I don’t have to worry about awkward conversation topics and eye contact throughout the night, right?”

“Probably!”

“And as long as I trust my heart and do what I think is best, everything will work out great! Am I right?”

Starlight grinned and nodded. “Hooves crossed! Now get out there and make your move! Don’t keep a lady waiting.”

“Got it!”

The motivational speech lasted just long enough for the clock to finally strike six and the sound of a carriage pulling up outside brought the conversation to a close.. Spike took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a brief moment and pressed on toward his bedroom door. He took one brief moment and turned around to wave goodbye to Starlight.

“Wish me luck!”

Spike bounded down the stairs from his castle bedroom and dashed through the main hall. He’d been living at the Canterlot Castle with Twilight for over a year now but he still had issues getting used to is size. The amount of time it took him to get from one end of the place to the other had increased ten fold compared to their last home in Ponyville. What used to be a hop, skip and a jump to the front door was now a dash, leap and a marathon. Regardless, he had no time to lose as he made his way to the carriage outside.

As he made his way through the entry hall, he took one final pause at a mirror to look himself over. He couldn’t help but be a bit disappointed at what he saw. He looked the same as always when dressed up: reasonably handsome and a bit relaxed. But he still couldn’t shake that feeling he’d find a way to mess things up. 

He shook the feelings and pulled a small vial of breath spray from his jacket pocket. He spritzed a few drops into his mouth and gave himself the most confident smile he could muster. Not this time. Tonight was going to be different. Tonight was going to be great.

He’d make sure of it.


As Spike climbed out of the carriage and waved goodbye to the driver, he couldn’t help but feel he was getting a little too comfortable with the royal life. He rented out a carriage just so he wouldn’t get his suit dirty by walking there. He swore if he ever became like the obnoxious nobles he swore to hate, well… He’d just have to pray that never happened.

He looked at his wrist watch briefly and confirmed the time. “Six-fifteen. Perfect!”

Their dinner date was scheduled for six-thirty, but Spike liked being early for situations like this. He was wise enough to understand the awkwardness that would ensue if he were ever late to one of their dates, so he decided after the first one that he would remove that fear from the equation altogether by arriving early. Not to mention it also gave him some time to prepare mentally for the night.

He looked up at the restaurant, The Canterlot Bistro, also known as the fanciest restaurant Equestria had to offer. He shook his head and let out a chuckle. “This is it. I’m getting excited about overpriced food. I’m gonna turn into a noble any day now.”

He strode up the small marble steps that led to the entrance where a white stallion with a black tuxedo was waiting at a podium.

“Good evening, sir,” he said, not evening bothering to look up from the open binder held up by the podium. “What time is your reservation and do you require valet parking this evening?”

“No parking,” Spike replied, waving a claw. “But my reservation is for six-thirty. It should be under ’Spike’.”

The pony’s eyes instantly grew wide as he looked up at the dragon. “Oh, of course! Spike! Yes, mhm, we mustn’t keep a member of the royal family waiting, now should we?” The stallion ran over to the closed front doors of the establishment and pushed them open before pointing toward the back of the room. “Your table is on the back patio, privately quartered off from the rest of the dining area.” 

Spike took a moment to follow his hoof until he saw his table sitting behind a latticed door frame in the rear of the building. “Perfect, thank you so much!”

“Only the best for you and yours,” the stallion replied, ensuring to keep the door open for him.

Spike gave him a final nod before stepping inside the restaurant. He was instantly hit with some of the most pleasant smells he could have imagined. Roasted garlic, sautéed mushrooms and eggplant, spiced cider and wine… Why had he never bothered to come here before?

The dining room itself was beautiful as well. Dark wood walls and beautifully carpeted flooring provided the foundation for the elegance held within. There were about a dozen or so small tables, delicately covered with perfectly laced tablecloths, a well-dressed couple sitting at each one, laughing and chatting with each other. On the sides of the room were some larger wooden tables, with booth style seats, but even those were made with what seemed to be the finest wood and cloth seating. This place reeked of fanciness. 

Spike shook the smells out of his nose and walked toward the back where his table was waiting for him. To get there, he had to exit the main dining area through a latticework door made of wood with tinted glass windows allowing for a limited view from inside the restaurant. Spike opened the doors and found himself on a private wooded patio surrounded by a small, yet very colorful garden of flowers. It was truly a sight to behold. The final piece of the puzzle was a small, hoof-written note from the restaurant manager that was left on the table. 

Thank you for your consideration, Spike. Please enjoy your evening with The Canterlot Bistro!’

Gabby did not need to know how much he spent to get this reservation. Or maybe she did? Was he to the point in the relationship that he didn’t need to flex his bank account anymore?

The dragon took his jacket off and hung it off the back of the chair and then proceeded to stretch out his arms and wings. As dashing as he hoped he looked, dragons were just not meant to wear clothes. Way too restrictive.

He took a seat and a waiter immediately came out to greet him. He was a unicorn, hot pink in color with a black and pink striped mane and tail. He wore a bright smile as he levitated two menus onto the table, one in front of each seat.

“Good evening, my name is Poptart and I’ll be your server tonight,” he stated with a curt nod of the head. “Party of two tonight, I presume?”

“That would be correct, my good sir,” Spike replied with a gentle smile. “My ladyfriend should be arriving in the next ten minutes or so.”

“Perfect!” Poptart exclaimed. “Then I’ll just leave the two menus here as well as a list of our best wines in the house, and I’ll be back as soon as she arrives. Can I get you anything while you wait?”

Spike was about to wave him off but skimmed over the appetizer part of the menu briefly. Perfect! They had baked bell pepper bites with feta cheese! She loves those!

“How about an order of the baked bell peppers with the feta for the table. That way we’ll have something to nibble on when she arrives.”

“Excellent choice!” Poptart stated, notating down the order with a pad and pen from his outfit’s pocket. 

“Also,” Spike spoke up. “Do you have anything that caters to, shall we say, ‘non-horse’ diets?”

“Of course, sir,” Poptart stated, “I won’t presume to know what species your date for the night is, but we do have the ‘Exotics’ section in the back that carries a, shall we say, wider variety of food options to suit any dietary needs.”

Spike smiled. “Thank you very much. I’ll take a look at it.”

Poptart put the notebook back into his pocket and disappeared into the restaurant from whence he came, leaving Spike alone once again with his thoughts. His thoughts immediately drifted back to the kiss that would surely finish the night off, and with the thoughts came the stomach butterflies. 

How was he even supposed to approach it? He’d always had an image in his mind of what the perfect kiss would be like, but he never took into account the actual biology of it. It wasn’t going to be as simple as picking her up in his arms, twirling in a circle and planting his lips to hers. No, it was going to be a mess— an uncomfortable, awkward, mess of incompatible faces meeting whether they liked it or not. Hopefully it wouldn’t just end up with blood or her running for the hills.

He liked her. He didn’t want her to run for the hills.

Regardless, Spike wanted tonight to be as enjoyable as possible for the both of them, so what he’d need to do now is put the kiss out of his mind and focus on the event at hand: dinner. A really, really fancy one. A fancy one that was practically built for couples to enjoy each other's company and build romantic tension. One where he would have no other choice than to dwell on the doomed first kiss all night—“

“Hey Spike!”

Spike’s descent into madness was broken up by the familiar voice he’d been waiting all day to hear. Suddenly, faced with the sweetness of her voice, his worries didn’t seem all that important. 

“Hey Gabby!” Spike said. “How are… Woah.”

It was at this point that Spike finally looked up at his date for the evening. The gray gryphon looked absolutely amazing, and he wasn’t even sure that was a strong enough word for it. A few sparks flew out his ears as he looked her over. She was wearing a gorgeous black dress that was outfitted to specifically fit her gryphon frame. It was just long enough to cover her from the front to her knees in the back and had a lace covering in the front that added additional definition to her chest area. Her normally ruffled head feathers were pushed to the side and clipped into place with a small black bow that tied everything together.

“Y-You look amazing…” Spike knew he was staring but he couldn’t manage to pull his eyes away from her. She was that gorgeous.

“Oh, Spike,” she replied with a giggle. “Are you just gonna sit there all day or are you gonna come over here?”

That snapped Spike’s brain back into the land of the living. He immediately got up from his chair and walked the few feet over to where Gabby was standing just by the door and wrapped her up in a tight hug. To reciprocate, she rose up on her back paws and wrapped her two front claws around his neck and nuzzled her beak lightly into his shoulder.

“I’ve missed you,” Gabby said, still snuggling into his scales.

“I missed you, too,” Spike replied, pulling her body closer to his. “I can’t believe it’s been a whole week since we’ve seen each other. That’s way too long.”

After just a moment of closeness longer, they finally separated. Spike, the gentledrake that he is, ran over and made sure to pull out Gabby’s seat for her. He beamed a smile at her and used his best noble pony accent. “Your seat, m’lady.”

“Hehe! Spike, you’re so silly sometimes!” Gabby laughed and took her seat and was soon followed by Spike who did the same. “So,” she continued, “this place is pretty crazy, isn’t it?”

“Oh yeah,” Spike replied. “With just the ponies in the next room over there’s probably about two million bits net worth in this place. I’m wearing a suit and I almost feel underdressed.”

“Heh, well if it means anything,” Gabby said. “I think you look extra handsome in that suit.” She gave him her usual smile that was so contagious it gave feather flu a run for its money.

“So you’re saying with a suit I go from a four to a five out of ten?” Spike gave her a smirk. “Maybe I should wear this thing all the time..”

“Oh shut up, Spike, you know what I mean.” Gabby chuckled aloud.

They were about to continue their quarrel but were interrupted by the door flinging open, followed by Poptart walking through it holding a large platter. 

“Good evening!” He said, this time directed toward Gabby. “My name is Poptart and I’ll be serving you this evening. I have it in good faith, though, that you like baked bell peppers. Is that correct?” To punctuate his question, he set the steaming hot plate of the food in question down in the middle of the table.

Gabby gasped. “Huh! Spike, these are my favorites! Oh my gosh!” Gabby was practically bouncing in her seat as the sweet smell of baked bell pepper and warm feta cheese wafted over her. She immediately turned back to the waiter. “Thank you so much!”

Poptart smiled. “Of course, but you should really be thanking the gentledrake here. As soon as he saw those on the menu, he knew he had to get them.”

“Oh, Spike,” Gabby replied. “You remembered!”

“Well, we’ve known each other for years,” Spike retorted with a smile. “I’m pretty sure something like your favorite snack is impossible to forget.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised,” Poptart chimed in. “I’ve served couples that have been married for decades yet still don’t know what each other likes.”

“Oh, well, I guess I am pretty awesome then,” Spike said with a snort whilst leaning back in the chair.

“Most of the time, at least.” Gabby smiled at him again.

He never got tired of seeing that smile.

“So, what can I get you guys to drink tonight?” Poptart asked, pad and pen at the ready. “We have an excellent selection of soda beverages, teas, water of course, and if you’d like an adult beverage for the table, the gentledrake here has our full wine listing.”

“Hmm?” Gabby said, scanning over the drink portion of the standard menu. “I think I’ll take an iced tea. What about you, Spike?”

The dragon on the other claw was looking over the adult beverage section. “I’ll take an iced tea as well, but how about we get a bottle of Dragonay Reserve for the table?”

“Ooh, a vintage wine from the dragon lands,” Poptart said, jotting down their choices. “Very bold and flavorful. Excellent choice!”

“Ooh!” Gabby chirped, clapping her claws. “I’ve never tried food or anything from dragon culture before, Spike. I’m excited!”

“Well, it’s not that surprising. Considering dragons essentially eat rocks three meals a day, our food isn’t really palatable for most creatures.” Spike shrugged.

“Well,” Gabby said, “I’m still excited anyway.”

“I’ll be right back with your beverages,” Poptart stated with a smile. “Feel free to take as much time as you need looking over the menu, however.”

“Will do,” said Spike.

Poptart wandered back into the restaurant leaving our lovebirds alone at their table, sifting through their menus.

“Oh my gosh,” Gabby said, her voice seeming to get more excited with every turn of the page. “Gysahl Green Salad, Onion Soup, and even fresh caught fish?! This place has everything! I’m so hungry I could eat all of it.”

Spike smiled at her as she glowed brighter and brighter with excitement through each passing second. “Get whatever you want, babe. No limits tonight. It’s on me.”

Gabby looked up from the menu with a sly look on her face. “Ooh, ‘babe’. I like that. And no, you paid last time. I wanna pay tonight!”

Spike quirked a brow. “You wanna pay?”

“It’s only fair, right?” Gabby smiled and resumed flipping through the menu. “Hey, these numbers by the meals are the number of calories right?”

“No, those are the prices,” Spike said.

“Oof!” Gabby squwaked. “Okay, Spike, you can pay.”

“Thought so,” the dragon replied with a bit of a chuckle. “This place is known for many things, but reasonable prices are not one of them.”

Gabby shook her head. “But over eighty bits for a bowl of soup? What kind of hot cocoa are they drinking here?”

“None, probably,” Spike said with a shrug. “The owners are actually a family of yaks and they recently outlawed hot cocoa. Go figure, right?”

Gabby pouted. “But a life without hot cocoa is no life at all.”

“True that.” Spike shut his menu and laid it down. “What are you thinking of getting? Remember, anything is on the table.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, don’t rush me!” Gabby chirped. “I’m kinda torn between the Leek Soup or the Flame Grilled Salmon. What do you think, Spike?”

The dragon rubbed his chin. “Hmm… Salmon all day. You can get soup anytime you want, but salmon? That’s a rare delicacy. You gotta take advantage while you can.”

“Excellent reasoning!” She replied, clapping her claws together. She then set down her menu and smiled. “I’m so excited, Spike! I’m so hungry I could like… Eat a lot of food!”

“Glad to hear that!” Poptart stated as he walked through the doors leading to their private patio. “If you like food, you’re definitely in the right place for it.”

He was carrying a tray in his magic loaded with two cups of Iced Tea and a bucket of ice with a mid-sized, black bottle sitting at a crooked angle in it. There were also two additional wine glasses placed atop the tray. In one swift motion, Poptart placed all the beverages and glasses on the table.

“There you two, go!” He said with a chipper smile. “Now, I take it you’re ready to order your meals for tonight?”

“Yes, sir,” Spike spoke up. “You wanna go first, Gabs?”

“Such a gentledrake,” she replied. “Yeah, I’ll have the Flame Grilled Salmon if that’s okay. And if you can put just a teensy dash of red pepper on it, I would totally be beyond grateful for it!”

“I think I can swing that,” Poptart said with a cheeky grin. “And what for you, sir?”

“I think I’ll have the Leek Soup,” Spike said with a grin. “She talked me into it..”

“Excellent choice as well,” Poptart said whilst finishing his notes. He gathered the two menus. “Okay, I’ll get this in for you. It shouldn’t be too long, but I’ll be back to check on you of course.”

They were alone again.

“I can’t believe you got the soup,” Gabby said with a playful eyeroll. “You go on about how we can get soup anytime, and then you just order it for yourself.”

“No, I ordered it so that way you could try some and have both of the meals you wanted tonight, duh.” Spike leaned back in his chair and watched the smile start to curl up on Gabby’s beak. “You see, I can be sweet sometimes.”

Gabby rebased a sigh. “What am I gonna do with you, Spike?”

“Well, I can tell you what you can do right now,” he said. “You could answer a very important question for me.”

“Which is?”

“What part of the soup is the soup?” Spike scrunched up his face in thought.

“Uh…?”

“Yeah, you see. Soup is made up of like, veggies, seasoning, and water, right? Well, what part of that makes the soup? The water or the other stuff? .”

“Spike?” Gabby asked.

“Yes?”

“You’re adorable and all, but you’re also an idiot sometimes. Just thought you should know that.”

Spike chuckled. “I ask the real questions, what do you want?.”

The two erupted into a small fit of laughter.

This is what Spike loved about their relationship. It didn’t have to make sense all the time. They could find ways left and right to make each other laugh and just feel comfortable. There were no crazy expectations for how to act or awkward silences that they didn’t know how to fill… At least none that lasted for more than a few seconds on their previous dates. Everything felt natural, organic even. He felt truly happy with her. 

He felt like they belonged together.

“So, Spike,” Gabby said once her laughter had calmed down a tad. “Besides making bad jokes about soup, what’s been going on recently? I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve seen each other!”

“It’s only been a week,” Spike replied.

“Exactly!” She said with a frown and big eyes. “That’s forever to me.”

Oof. Right in the heartstrings. Gabby always had his heart’s number on speed dial and she wasn’t afraid to call. 

“Well,” Spike began. “Not much has changed really. I’m still helping out with filing tax return paperwork at the castle, Twilight still hasn’t hired anypony else to handle the tax work even though it’s kind of getting out of claw, and Starlight still beats me at Risk every Thursday night… And I give her tons of snark in return. You know, the usual suspects.”

“It must be so cool getting to live at the Castle like that.” Gabby hummed softly. “Getting to spend all day every day doing stuff that changes all of Equestria with the Princess. Isn’t that exciting?”

“Heh, maybe it was the first year or so, but now it just kind of wears on my patience. I can only handle so many ponies trying to file their houseplants as dependants before I start going a little crazy.” Spike shook the dreaded thought from his mind. “But I guess that’s why I love hanging with you so much, Gabby. I get a break from all the normal stuff and instead just get to be with someone cool.” Spike scratched his head. “And the someone I’m referring to is you, of course.”

“Ha, I never would have guessed,” Gabby replied. “Well, even if you don’t think so, I definitely think that what you do is super cool. I mean, without you, nobody would be paying their taxes right and everything would just… Just… Explode or something! Like pew, pew, BRGSHH!” She waved her wings around, mimicking the destruction and decay her sound effects were referencing.

“Okay, okay, fine, maybe I do some important work,” Spike said. “But don’t let anycreature know, If ponies find out I’m responsible, I’d have expectations and that is simply unacceptable.”

Gabby chuckled a bit to herself. “Well, if it means anything, I don’t have any expectations of you.”

“So you won’t be disappointed, good.” Spike laughed aloud. “And the only expectation I have of you is to keep putting up with my nonsense as long as you can, because I’m not about to let you leave me behind anytime soon.”

“Don’t worry, Spike. I feel the same way.” Gabby chuckled, but gently reached a claw across the table and laid it on one of Spike’s. “I don’t want to let you go, either.”

Oh boy. Spike couldn’t help but get distracted by how gorgeous she was. They had been friends for years, so they’ve touched plenty of times, but her claw resting on his made his scales feel as if they were on fire. His whole body felt tingly and even that paled in comparison to how his heart felt when he looked in her eyes, scanned over her gorgeous dress and luscious feathers, and even her beak...

The beak he’d have to kiss later tonight. Wait, strike that: the beak he desperately wanted to kiss but was terrified at the remote thought of trying to do so. What if he accidentally bites her? Or what if her beak cuts open one of his scales? Or what if he misses entirely and his snout pokes her in the—

“Your food, sir.” 

“Huh?” Spike snapped out of his probably-love induced trance to see a bowl of soup being placed in front of him. “Oh, sorry. That was quick!”

Poptart smiled. “Well of course, sir. Our chef wanted to ensure you received your food as quickly as possible. We love to take care of our most esteemed guests.”

“Oh, you hear that Spike?” Gabby said, waggling her eyebrows. “You’re an esteemed guest. Sounds to me like you’re pretty important.”

“Eh, maybe. But tonight, you’re the important one as far as I’m concerned,” Spike said, sending another wink her way. “Anyway, thank you, Poptart. This food looks fantastic.”

“Oh trust me, I think you’ll be most pleased,” he replied, looking back and forth at both of them. “Is there anything else I can bring you?”

“I’m good!” Gabby said with a bright smile.

“I think we’re good,” Spike added.

“Of course,” Poptart said. “I’ll be back momentarily to see how you’re doing.” 

As Poptart left again, the enchanting smells of the food on the table overtook the two of them. The sweet yet exotic spiciness of the salmon wafted into Spike’s nostrils, followed swiftly by the mild kick of the leeks soaking in his soup. It was too good to resist.

Spike was about to dive in but Gabby saw fit to put a stop to that.

“Uh, Spike?” Gabby spoke up. “If you ask me, I think we should pour the wine before we start eating. You know, we’re trying to be fancy and all.”

Spike looked longingly at his soup but ultimately agreed. “Fair enough.”

He grabbed the dark glass bottle and gently popped the cork out with his claw. He poured a bit of wine into each glass. The liquid itself was a deep, rich red, completely opaque. The scent of the wine, a robust and thick aroma, fluttered across the table, mingling with the smell of their freshly prepared food.

“This looks good,” Gabby said, picking up her glass. She then held it up in the air and over the table. “To hopefully not get kicked out of this restaurant, Spike.”

“Agreed.” 

The dragon reached out his glass and lightly dinked it against hers. They then both took a sip in synchrony. The taste was as robust as the smell, but its warmth and thickness was a welcome taste to their palettes. Well, except for the fact that Gabby nearly choked on it as it went down. It was so warm it may as well have been lava. Draconic delicacies really were foreboding.

“Ahh, that hits the spot,” Spike said with a smile, setting his glass down. “Now can we eat?”

Gabby chuckled and grinned at him. “Yes! Let’s eat!”

As they each took a bite of their food, their eyes lit up and smiles widened even broader than before. Spike in particular couldn’t help but melt into his seat at the taste of his soup. It’s a good thing he hadn’t been standing because his knees buckled as the soft, sultry taste of the warm liquid raced down his throat. Gabby was in a similar boat, the freshly grilled salmon was no match for her voracious appetite as she had already had four bites as opposed to Spike’s one. Spike wasn’t much for eating fish, which he blamed growing up with ponies for, but even he couldn’t deny the fantastic smell.

“Oh, Spike, this is so good!” Gabby squeaked out between bites. “It’s a shame ponies don’t like meat like we do. They don’t know what they’re missing out on!”

“I know, right?” Spike replied. “Now, speaking of food, open up wide.” 

Spike took a spoonful of the soup and held it out over the table. Gabby darted her eyes around a bit, her face heating up just a tad at Spike’s action. But, just like in all the romance dramas she’s read before, she leaned forward, eyes closed and beak open and let Spike feed her a spoonful of the soup.

“Mmm!” She cooed, licking the edges of her beak to lap up every last drop. “That’s so good, sweets.”

“N-No worries, babe,” Spike said, his claw visibly shaking. Why was he nervous all of sudden? It couldn’t be the pet name, could it? Spike gently pulled the spoon back and shook the nerves away. “I figured you’d enjoy it.”

The two enjoyed their meal together, carrying on with laughter and pleasant conversation. All the while, as the night sky grew darker and darker, Spike knew it was only going to be a matter of time before the moment of truth was upon him. He still wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but maybe Starlight was right and everything would just fall into place naturally!

Or maybe it wouldn’t...


It was a bright and beautiful night, helped in no small part by the moon hanging high in the sky and the street lights pouring their illumination over the sidewalks. Gabby and Spike were strolling down these sidewalks, walking back to her hotel room, laughing and having a good time.

“So, how about when Poptart tripped and fell when trying to get our cups? Haha, that was great!” Gabby nearly choked on her own laughter. “T-The poor guy! I’m glad you gave him a big tip.”

“Hah, yeah!” Spike sputtered out a guffaw of his own. “Or how about when you insisted you could drink a full glass of that wine on your own? You know it’s made for dragons, a species that can literally bathe in lava.” 

Gabby gently shoved him. “Oh, shut up Spike! You challenged me! And you know I never back down from a challenge.”

“What can I say?” The dragon said with a shrug. “I thought it’d be funny! I was totally right, by the way.”

“Well, regardless of whether it was funny or not, I think we can both agree that tonight was awesome!.” Gabby gently brushed up against the dragon, walking even closer to him. “The fact that you actually listened when I told you I always wanted to have at least one really fancy dinner date means a lot. Thank you.” She nestled into his side a bit harder, interrupting his stride.

“Of course,” Spike said, stopping in place as he took care to loop an arm around her. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Hmm, and that’s why you’re my favorite.” Gabby snuggled into him, her soft feathers caressing his scales.

Spike felt his heart jump with every inch they grew closer together. They were a bit of an odd sight, a dragon and gryphon cuddling in the middle of the still occupied Canterlot streets, but he didn’t care. He was happy. Nervous of course, but still happy. He gently used his claw to stroke the neck feathers he had access to, leading to a small hum coming from his date. 

The kiss was definitely going to happen.

Spike took a moment to glance over at her. She was so beautiful, the moonlight shining down on her, reflecting off her dress. Spike couldn’t pull his eyes away. He didn’t want to pull his eyes away. Looking at her was like looking at one of his prized, rare comic books, but this comic book actually loved him back and cuddled instead of sitting behind a glass case. Gabby was better than the best comic book in his collection… Spike scratched his head, not knowing where exactly that analogy came from. But whatever, the point was the same.

However, his eyes then traveled to her beak. The glossy, orange contraption looked right back at him, or at least it would have if it had eyes. It was sharp and, well, beak shaped. Spike had spent hours imagining how his snout would align with it, but each imagining ended in worse failure than before, one made up scenario even ending with a magical holocaust that started with his failed kiss. He shook his head to get those thoughts out of the way and turned his eyes back forward.

“So,” Spike spoke up, clearing his throat in the process. “Which motel was yours again??”

 “It’s the Sun-Fun Motel.” Gabby chirped. “That’s the sign just up there!”

Spike looked a bit off in the distance and sure enough, there it was, a large billboard that seemed to be having a seizure with how much flashing there was going on. Of course, with one of the lights burnt out entirely, it actually read the “un-fun” motel. Somewhat appropriate given the disaster that was bound to take place there.

“I can’t believe you’re still choosing to just stay in a hotel with how much you come down here these days,” Spike said. “I mean, now that you’re delivering mail from Griffonstone and Mount Aris too, I feel like it would make more sense for you to just live here.”

Gabby shrugged. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it. But, Twilight does pay for my hotel visits every time I come down for business, so it’s not really any feathers off my back yet. I guess moving down here wouldn’t be the worst idea I’ve ever heard.” She gave him a nudge with her shoulder and quickly pulled him in for a closer hug.

“I feel that. Really, at this point, I’m down for any way to get to see you more often.” Spike blanched as the words left his mouth. “Gah, that was cheesy.”

“Hehe,” Gabby giggled. “That is pretty cheesy. But I feel the same way. If only it were that simple.”

“What do you mean?” Spike asked. 

“Well, I mean, I have all my family up there in Griffonstone still, and even with the money I make delivering mail, buying a home down here in the Canterlot area isn’t exactly cheap.” Gabby separated herself from Spike and looked down at the ground. “But I promise it’s something I’m still working on.”

“Hey, no pressure,” Spike said with a smile. “If I didn’t have to work at the castle with Twilight,you know I’d probably be up in Griffonstone already. Not that they’d like me much up there.”

“Yeah,” Gabby said, brightening up just a tad. “But to be fair, Griffons don’t really like anycreature, not even each other.”

“I’ve seen that first-claw,” Spike said with a chuckle. “But have no fear. Things will work out one way or another. If it’s meant to be, which I’m really hoping it is at this point, everything will turn out great.”

“You really mean that Spike?”

“I do. I promise.”

Due to getting caught up in conversation, the two hadn’t even realized that they’d already made their way to the motel parking lot. Itwas one of those buildings where all the doors were on the outside—definitely on the low end of Canterlot’s hotel accomodations

“Geesh,” Spike said, looking the building over. “I may have to talk to Twilight about getting you set up in a nicer place from now on.”

“Nah it’s alright,” Gabby said. “This place at least has a good lobby breakfast. Not to mention the free coffee makes it one and a half stars instead of just one.  And there’s pet rats in the rooms! It’s charming in its own way.”

“Wait, rats?” Spike grimaced. “I think I’m gonna have to insist we get you a better one next time.””

“But the rat in my room is so nice! His name is Giuseppe Gorgonzola III. The first two are the dead ones I found in the bathtub..” 

Spike had to stifle a laugh. “Only you could find something nice to say about this place. Which room is yours?”

Gabby scanned over the various rooms before pointing her claw at one. “There it is! Room 205!”

Spike looked to where she was pointing and nodded. “Gotcha. Ooh, you got a second floor room. Nice.”

“Hmm yeah. It’s the small victories.” 

The walk over to her room was a short one, but in Spike’s head it lasted north of an hour. As he saw the porch, he knew what was coming and there was no way to stop it at all. He wanted it so bad, but he was so afraid. Not even just about the biological, survival mode difficulty he’d be facing, but also just because he cared about her. He cared about her a lot. As the magazines he read always said, the first kiss would often dictate the entire relationship’s progress for the girl. If he messed it up, she may never want to see him again. Or worse, she’d give him the ‘let’s just be friends’ line which always turned into ‘let’s be awkward acquaintances for the next few months until we lose touch for the rest of our lives’ in actuality. There was no way he could let that happen. He’d have to figure something out. There had to be some way to buy some time so he could prepare himself! He just—

“Well, we’re here.”

Spike’s thoughts were broken once again by his beautiful date. He looked around and realized he was standing right outside of her door, underneath a bright white porch light. 

“Oh yeah, we are, aren’t we?” Spike shrugged and dipped his claws into his suit pockets. “It was a great night, really.”

“I definitely think so, too.” Gabby released a sigh and looked up at Spike. “I can’t thank you enough for taking me out again.”

Spike chuckled and nodded. “Thanks so much for saying yes.”

They both shared a bit of awkward laughter followed by silence and that’s when Spike noticed it. She was fumbling with her motel card key. She could’ve already put it in the door and been on her merry way, but not, she was choosing to hang out on the porch. She wanted it and Spike didn’t know how to deliver.

He needed to try though. For her.

“So, Gabby, I—“

“Why haven’t you kissed me yet, Spike?”

The air rushed out of Spike’s lungs as the question sucker-punched him right in the awkward gland. How was he supposed to reply? What could he say? What could he do? Nothing made sense anymore!

Gabby drooped her eyes a bit and continued. “Is it because of my breath? I swear I brush my beak every day. I also brought mints tonight just in case. Or if it’s because I’m a gryphon, I swear, it’s completely natural! Gallus and Silverstream are making it work just fine!”

“Gabby.” Spike tried to cut in.

“Or maybe it’s because of the whole childhood friend thing! I mean, it’s kind of weird but not the end of the world, right?”

“Gabby!”

“If it’s because you need to brush your teeth, I understand and I promise it’s okay. I know you’re hygienic as a general rule!”

A little idea popped into Spike’s head. He knew she had at least another few minutes of possible reasons she could list before he could get a word in, so he needed something more direct to stop her—more physical. He stepped forward, closing the gap between them. She stopped talking, just as he had hoped. She looked up at him, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. He gazed deep into her eyes. Now her beak was just a few inches away from his snout. 

He froze. 

This had sounded so much smoother in his head. 

Panicking, Spike did the only thing his frenzied brain could come up with on the fly. Hug. Hard. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close

“Uh, Spike?” came Gabby’s muffled voice from somewhere in his chest. 

“Shhh, don’t worry about—”

“I can’t breathe.” 

Another jolt of panic threw his arms off of her, Spike jumping back with a quiet yelp. He tripped and fell back onto his haunches, bringing him down to Gabby’s eye level.

Gabby shook her head, smoothing out the feathers he’d ruffled. “What was all that about, Spike?” she demanded. “If you don’t want to kiss me, you can just say it!” 

“Gabby, look, it has nothing to do with you,” Spike began, taking a deep breath “It’s all me.”

“Well, if it’s not a problem with me,” Gabby pouted. “Do you just not like me like that anymore?”

“No, of course I like you!” Spike said, shaking his claws. “It’s because I like you so much I just… just… Ah! Why is this so hard?” Spike shook his head. “Look, I’m no good at the whole kissing thing and I’m terrified you’ll leave me afterward, okay? The honest truth is that I don’t even know how to kiss you.”

Gabby cocked her head to the side. “W-What?”

“Yeah, now the truth is out,” Spike said, raising his arms in the air. “The dumb ol’ dragon doesn’t know how to kiss his girlfriend.” Spike rubbed the back of his head and emitted a small laugh. “It’s stupid, right? But yeah, that’s the truth.”

“Spike, I—”

“And you know what else?” Spike interrupted. “I’m secretly afraid that if I try, it’ll go over so bad, that you’ll leave me and we’ll become awkward friends who never talk to each other again! I can’t have that. You’ve been a major part of my life for years now. A life without you would just suck!”

“But Spike—”

“I can’t have a life without you,” Spike continued. “I wouldn’t have anycreature to talk to about dumb things with, or stay up late with flying around town with, go on fancy dates with or even just think about when I’m feeling sad. And it’d all be my fault because I can’t kiss you without screwing things up!”

“Spike!” Gabby stepped forward and placed a claw on each of his shoulders, looking him right in the eyes. “I would never, ever leave you over something so dumb like that. But please, do me one favor?”

Spike continued looking her in the eyes, afraid to look away, and simply nodded. “What’s that?”

“Kiss me.”

Spike gulped. “But I—”

“No excuses. Just do it.” Gabby punctuated her demands by closing her eyes and moving in even closer.

Spike didn’t know what to do. He took in a deep breath of air and slowly moved his head closer to hers. “Okay, here it comes. Here goes nothing…”

He leaned forward, the distance closing between them slowly. His eyes locked on her beak, and he began adjusting the tilt of his head back and forth, changing the yaw of his jaw to best accommodate the pointy, dangerous mouth requesting permission to dock with his. He tilted left, but decided against that and went right. Another inch of gap between them disappeared. Sweat pooled on his brow as he continued making final approach adjustments before—

“Oh for Celestia’s sake!”

Before he could react, Gabby wrapped her front claws around his neck and pulled him in. Her beak pressed gently against his lips. It felt something like touching his mouth against a seashell, mostly smooth but with a few pointy spots. Electricity arced through his guts, but it only lasted a second. After the shock wore off, he looked down and saw her face against his, eyes shut in bliss.

There was no pain. No cutting. No arcane detonation that ended the world as he knew it. Her beak was warmer than he expected it to be, and it felt nice on his lips. He closed his eyes and let himself fall into the moment, wrapping his arms around her and pushing into the kiss. 

Her feathery floof became entrenched with his chest scales. She pushed back harder, deepening the kiss as she unfurled her wings and wrapped him in them, pulling him into a soft, tender embrace. 

Spike tried to pull away for just a moment to catch his breath, but Gabby wouldn’t allow it, clutching him tighter as a response. Spike instead just took a deep breath through his nose and let himself continue to get lost in the kiss, letting his head swim deeper and deeper with each passing second.

After just a bit longer, Gabby finally pulled her head away whilst still keeping the dragon locked up in her feathery fortress.

“Y-You see?” she said between heavy breaths. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Spike took a few deep breaths of his own. “No, I guess not. And you’re still here, so I guess that means I didn’t screw up too badly.”

Gabby giggled and released him from her wings, dropping back down onto all fours. “Well, I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon. Sorry babe, but you’re stuck with me.”

“I can think of worse fates,” Spike replied with a smile. “I take it this means we’re on for date number four?”

“You bet.” Gabby pulled out her keycard once again from her dress and scanned it on the door. Before she went in, she turned back to Spike and smiled at him. “One more thing, Spike. If you have any anxiety about our next physical milestone, can we just talk about it instead of having all this drama?”

Spike blushed violently. “Whoa, hold on a sec—”

“Goodnight!” Gabby smiled. She knew what she’d done. With a coy wink, she waved goodbye and blew a kiss at her dragon. “I’ll see you soon!”

Spike sat there on the doorstep wide-eyed. This was only the first kiss, and she was already talking about…

He scrambled to his feet and speed-walked away from the motel. That was a thought that did not need entertaining right now. He refocused his mind on the events of the night. The preparations had worked, the date went off without a hitch. Aside from the near-disaster at the end, everything had gone well. He had successfully kissed a griffon, and life was good. As he walked down the dark street of Canterlot, he chuckled to himself.

I love that girl.”