“My name is Discord,” the creature said courtily. He extended an eagle claw hand and took one of Raymond’s own, shaking it in greeting. “Lord of Chaos, three time tyrant, two times reformed, and Fluttershy’s number one friend! Now that mandatory exposition is done,” it continued, leaning its face even closer in an almost hostile manner, “who exactly are you?’
“This is Raymond-”
“Ray,” Rainbow Dash interrupted, putting one hoof above another. “It sounds about twenty percent cooler, in my opinion.” Raymond nodded in agreement. It did sound better.
“Ray,” Fluttershy corrected, pushing herself between Ray and Discord, once again blocking his view with her buttercream body. He grumbled in annoyance at the tiny pony’s protectiveness as she continued. “He’s our newest friend, and was just about to tell us why he was looking so gloomy.”
“Oh that’s nice,” Discord said, his voice pitching differently with each word. Ray suppressed a shudder of disgust as the strange beings head slithered around Fluttershy’s bodice like a snake, uneven red eyes staring him down. “I don’t really have the mind for exactly how it is. I care more for what it is.”
“Well, I could ask the same thing about you, couldn’t I,” Ray retorted, suddenly feeling indignant towards the way the creature kept emphasizing the word it. Old anger, anger he’d thought he’d disposed of, began rising. Why would people talk about him, but not talk to him? A more rational portion of his brain argued that it wasn’t really these pony’s fault, since they’d never interacted with humans before. Still, he felt like they could at least treat him a little more like one of them, and less like a new pet. “However, I’ll answer your question instead. I’m a human. Any other questions can go to Twilight.”
“Feisty, aren’t we,” Discord responded testily, a small fire growing in his eyes. “I myself am a member of the humble race of the draconequus. A step up from an ignoble, hairless, hornless subspecies of minotaur, if you ask me.”
“Really,” Ray growled, a small portion of the anger he felt towards Twilight diverting itself to the arrogant obstacle at hand. “That’s a lot of crap coming from a creature that looks like it was hand drawn by a four year old and named by a two year old.”
A collective gasp came from the ponies that now encircled the pair of arguing strangers. Shock, and no small amount of fear, shown like a rising sun on his new friend’s faces. Fluttershy had backed away from the two at some point in time, sensing the tension rising between them. It was only when he heard her mutter a worried “Oh dear”, that he really began to consider his words. It probably wasn’t the wisest thing to insult someone who was deemed the “Lord of Chaos”.
Discord, however, seemed to get a kick out of the intended insult. He began to chuckle, raising his lion paw up to his face in an attempt to block his smiling. This was ultimately fruitless, as his chuckles slowly morphed into laughing. Soon enough, he was howling with joy, tears springing to eyes as he clutched his stomach in a full body laugh. Ray raised an eyebrow at the peculiar being in front of him. Was this being entertained by Ray’s mockery of him in a good way, or a very bad way? Discord was now rolling backwards in the air, roaring with the strange sense of humor he possessed, making Raymond very uncomfortable about the prospect of his answer being the more negative option.
“That,” he exclaimed when his face finally was level with Ray’s own confused one, “was absolutely priceless!” He paused, wiping away a tear, before continuing. “Everypony was like: ‘Oh no, what’s he gonna do?’ And then you were like: ‘Oh no, what did I just say?’ And- and-,” Discord broke off into another fit of hysterical laughter, before flying up to Fluttershy and nudging her softly in the ribs. “My dear Fluttershy, where ever did you find this joker? I can’t say that I’ve laughed like that in moons!”
“Well”, she began a bit hesitant, “I found him exactly where he’s standing right now. I heard somepony crying while we were having our weekly picnic, so I excused myself to investigate. I found him awfully upset about something, so I decided to try and comfort him. I was about to find out what exactly he was upset about, but then the girls here assaulted him.”
“Oh I would have loved to see that,” Discord said, turning back to Ray. “How’d you do?”
“He kicked ahr tails,” Apple Jack answered for him truthfully, shrugging under the combined glares of Rarity and Rainbow Dash. “What? He did! At least, until Pinkie Pie showed up with a darn cake cannon!”
“Never underestimate the power of bakery,” Pinkie Pie muttered darkly.
“Anyways,” Fluttershy practically yelled to prevent further interruptions, “we were also finally about to find out why Rayond here was so sad, but then you also came along and picked a fight with him.”
“I- well, da tfft, I- pfffft, I would never pick a fight with our good old pal Ray,” Discord scoffed indignantly, wrapping his eagle talon arm around Raymond’s shoulder. Ray quirked an eyebrow at the draconequus, which made him pull his arm off Ray’s shoulder. “Besides, I’m reformed, remember?”
Discord pressed his mismatched hands together in a way that wasn’t far from what it’s like when one was about to pray. A white halo suddenly poofed into existence over the crown of his head, a heavenly white glow emitting from it. However, a single tilt of Fluttershy’s head and slight raise of the eyebrow was all it took to make the mighty “Lord of Chaos’s” façade drop away. Discord sighed, extending his eagle claw once again for a handshake, this time seeming a little more sincere. Only a little.
“I’m sorry for picking a fight with you,” he mumbled as Raymond took the proffered claw. It felt strangely cool on his hand, like small slats of smooth sandstone being rubbed over his palm. He gave the “repentant” creature a half smile, stepping close enough to pat him on the shoulder.
“No harm done, really,” Raymond reassured the wild being. “After the day I’ve been having, I needed to blow off some steam. Thanks to our friendly little scuffle, I probably won’t try to take over Equestria in a fit of rage.” He leaned in close enough that only Discord could see his wink. “Probably.”
Discord’s eyes became alight with amusement as Ray stepped away from him. “I think you and I will get along quite well,” he proclaimed. Everyone (or maybe he should start saying “everypony”) seemed to sigh in relief at the de-escalation of the situation.
“Ahrighty then,” Apple Jack said, turning everyone’s attention to her. She, however, was only looking directly at Ray. “Now that we’ve all been introduced, couldja please tell us th’ answer to the question we’ve all been wait’n for. Why th’ long face?”
“You know what they say about the third time right? That i-”
“Pinkie,” more than one pony shouted in annoyance.
“Sorryeee. I just can’t help it! It’s so exciting and-” Pinkie Pie was cut off by Apple Jack, who pressed a hoof against the pink pony’s mouth and looked back at Ray expectantly. In fact, they all were now focused solely on him.
He took a deep breath, suddenly nervous. How could he explain to them what was going on in his own mind, when he could barely comprehend it himself? How was he supposed to tell them he was from a different dimension, dragged here by their very own princess? They obviously were happy here, and he knew that that couldn’t possibly be the case with a tyrant. He wouldn’t be surprised if they actually knew her. And how would they react to him revealing that he hated her, despised her more than…
His mind blanked. Where was he? His vision returned to him, revealing several concerned looking ponies in front of him. When had he lost that?
“Raymond, dear,” Rarity said, her voice breaking into his jumbled thoughts, “are you alright?”
“Y-yeah. Just a- a break in thought,” he managed to stammer out. When had ponies gained the ability to talk? “What were we discussing again?”
“You were just about to tell us why you were lookin’ so down earlier,” Apple Jack said, giving him a confused look. She looked cute when she was confused. As a matter of fact, they all did (well, maybe not Discord).
A glowing was now coming from behind Apple Jack. No, it was coming from Apple Jack’s behind, specifically her butt mark.
“Hey, Apple Jack,” Ray said, his voice slightly slurred. Mankind, this was the worst one he'd had in months. Now he was seeing lights. He tried to control his mouth even as he spoke. “Your Booty Mark’s glowin’.”
“Mah what,” the orange pony asked in confusion, her brows furrowing in concern. “Raymond, are ya sure yer alright? Yer startin’ ta- Holy hay! Rainbow Dash, yer cutie mark’sa glowin’!”
“Wait, what?” Rainbow Dash bent her neck around to view her own glowing cutie mark. So that was what they were called. Everypony shared shouted exclamations of shock as they each viewed their own glowing mark. Ray, meanwhile, shook his head, trying to clear it. It was sharp enough to realize, from the expressions on the five pony’s faces, that this sudden illumination was not an everyday prospect of Equestrian life.
“You know what this means, girls,” Pinkie Pie questioned, buzzing with so much excitement that it looked like she was now floating off the ground.
“A friendship problem,” Apple Jack muttered, a confident smile slowly spreading across her freckled face. “We’ve got a friendship problem! And it's calling all’v us!”
“Awesome,” Rainbow shouted, pumping a hoof into the air, doing several loops in the air.
Fluttershy, who had settled on the ground sometime during Raymond’s temporary blindness, raised a hoof to her cheek. “My, it’s been so long since this has happened, I forgot that it still potentially could.”
“I think we all did, darling,” Rarity said. “I, for one, am curious as to the manner of this untimely call.”
Fluttershy, looked up at Ray. “I believe it might have something to do with our new friend here,” she said. This made everyone stop their various activities, and look once again in Ray’s direction. “I-I mean,” she stuttered, suddenly nervous as Ray’s gaze fell on her. “have you heard his remarks about Twilight? And with his, um, n-no offense, outlandish looks, I mean, you know what I might be suggesting.”
They all seemed to take a moment of brief consideration. Finally, Discord declared, “Well, why don’t we find out? All aboard for a one way trip to the crystal castle!”
Ray was about to turn to ask the draconequus what he meant, when he suddenly felt a familiar tug in his stomach. He realized why it felt familiar as he was suddenly whisked away from the hilltop. The world around him changed briefly into a realm of checkered black, dirty orange, and dark violet. Raymond felt like his still fuzzy head was being picked apart and then put back together by the most violent toddler in the world.
Then, just as suddenly as it had come, it was gone, leaving Ray dizzy and off balanced. He nearly fell to the floor, but managed to catch himself on his knees. His vision returned quicker than it had with Twilight’s teleportation magic, letting him have an amusing look at everypony’s, excluding Discord’s, “I’ve seen into the dimensional rift” faces. It also allowed him to get a good look at his surroundings.
He seemed to be in a room made up of purple, blue, and cream colored crystals. They made up the doorways, which held gold bordered doors. They seemed to be composed of a different kind of crystal that was green and thin enough to let light in through them. There was a main doorway with large double doors. With a quick look around, he saw that there were seven separate and smaller doorways to other antechambers.
The crystals formed long veins that climbed the blue stone wall, making the room feel a little like a closed flower. Large windows lit the room, but were also aided by a strange chandelier that hung above the room. It seemed to be organic, based on the rougher look and undefined twists it made. After a moment, his eyes recognized the rough look as some sort of bark, which meant he was staring at a tree that somehow hung over his head. Short trails of multicolored diamonds hung from it, indistinct images that were barely visible from the rug-covered floor moving about in them.
Ray looked back at everypony and realized suddenly why they had all seemed eye-level. Each of the five ponies sat on a throne with their designated Cutie Marks on it. He stood, supporting himself on a smaller throne that was next to the one Discord sat on. Looking past the creature, he saw a very familiar and hated symbol imprinted on it: Twilight’s Cutie Mark.
The mark of a devil.
The thrones all circled around a large table that was topped by a 3D map. It seemed to map at least a part of Equestria, and even though he’d only seen it briefly, he recognized the castle on the mountain at the map’s center. Above it floated the Cutie Marks of the five mares that now sat around it.
“It’s calling us to Canterlot,” Rainbow Dash asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Not just to Canterlot,” Rarity began, “but to the castle itself! Fluttershy, it appears that you were correct!” She looked up from the map, towards where Ray stood, investigating the map. “It appears our friend has something that he hasn’t told us about yet,” she accused suspiciously.
“Ray is on a secret mission from Twilight, isn’t he,” a certain pink pony yelled, making Rainbow Dash slap a hoof over her face in a sort of ponish facepalm.
“I’m pretty sure that’s not what it means,” she said in annoyance.
“I think it means that Raymond here hasn’t been completely honest with us,” Apple Jack proposed, giving Ray a pointed stare beneath her hat.
“Or it means I just haven’t gotten the words out,” he shot back, making the orange pony’s ears drop back in shame. Ray hadn’t noticed how expressive these beings were with their bodies. Pinkie’s tail wagged like an eccentric puppy’s, everypony’s ears angled in different directions to catch all of the sounds, and slight tilts of the head give off different emotions. All things considered, reading pony expressions was exponentially easier than reading a human’s.
“Now now, everypony,” Fluttershy chastised, “no need to point hoofs. What we need to do is close our mouths and listen to Ray. He’s the only one here who knows what is truly going on.” She gave Ray a kind smile, and Ray swore he could hear Discord growl. “Ray, if you would?”
Ray paused. Did he, a stranger, tell everyone here what had happened to him, and how Twilight was the one behind his sudden appearance. These ponies, though friendly as they were, probably wouldn’t believe such a prospect. Not so soon after knowing him. They had met, what, all of twenty minutes ago?- if that was even how time worked in this dimension. And if he did tell them, and they didn’t believe him, would he lose the only friends he might’ve made in this world. He couldn’t risk that, even if it meant they wouldn’t trust him completely. However, there might be an easier way about it…
Finally, he answered. “I think it would be easier to believe if you heard it from Twilight herself, instead of me.” Fluttershy seemed to deflate a little that Ray had avoided the question instead of answering it himself. Still, she simply smiled at him and said, “Well, I guess that means we’ll have to wait for Canterlot.”
“Ugh,” Rainbow Dash groaned, throwing her hoofs onto her face. “That means we’ll hafta wait until tomorrow!”
Pinkie Pie tilted her head towards her friend and asked, “Well whaddya mean, Dashy?”
“What I mean,” she began exasperatedly, “is that the 10:30 train left an hour ago, which means we’ll hafta get onto the 7 o’ clock train. We’ll get into Canterlot at 9-ish, which is way after Twilight starts up the night shift, so we won’t be able to speak to her.”
“It could be even worse than that, darling,” Rarity suddenly said thoughtfully. “Twilight’s schedule could be filled for the day, which could mean another whole day of waiting.”
Rainbow Dash groaned at the prospect of having to wait another day, flopping back against the throne in dismay. A small giggle came from the opposite end of the table, making all eyes turn to the huddled form of Fluttershy. She was holding a hoof to her mouth in an attempt to hide a beautiful little smile from her friends. She blushed as the attention turned to her, but held her ground.
“You girls are all so silly sometimes,” she said to them. “There’s really a very simple answer to our troubles.”
“Beggin’ yer pardon,” Apple Jack questioned, giving Fluttershy a confused tilt of her head and raising an ear towards her, as if to try to hear her better. “Is somepony gettin’ a bit more self confident?”
“Well, maybe a little,” Fluttershy admitted, looking calmly towards her friends. “It’s just, you all are making it sound like the train’s the only way to Canterlot.” Calmly, she turned to Discord, who looked like he already knew where all of this was going. “Discord, could you please take us to Canterlot.”
“An unprecedented favor? You know what that means, my dear,” Discord asked, smirking while raising an eyebrow in her direction.
Fluttershy returned it with a warm smile. “Yes, I do, and I’m looking forward to it.”
Ray had to keep himself from gasping out loud as he realized the relationship between the two. Re-analyzing the situation, he saw Rarity looking a little on the paler side, which seemed to be proof enough. Rainbow, who was close enough to be heard making a gagging sound, only reinforced Rarity’s reaction and Ray’s prediction. The other two ponies were simply smiling, though Apple Jack’s looked a tad more sincere than the loopy grin that Pinkie bore. Without thinking, Raymond blurted out a question.
“Are you two dating?”
The room itself seemed to deadpan at Raymond, and he instantly felt just how awkward of a subject this was for the ponies. Fluttershy began to blush so profusely that he could see it from across the table. Rainbow glared at him, while Pinkie Pie seemed to find this the opportune moment to zip away. Rarity and AJ looked genuinely curious about the actual answer to the question, as if the relationship wasn’t a hundred percent clear to them either. Discord was fidgeting with his tail, much of his previous confidence evaporating at the sudden publicity of his relationship.
Pinkie zipped back into the room, stopping besides Raymond, the slamming of the chamber doors ending the uneasy silence that had ruled the room. Behind her was the same cannon that she had nearly blown his face off with. He shuddered, but quickly realized that the cake he had absently wiped off him was probably the best chance at food he would have for a while. Whenever they finally arrived back at the castle, he doubted food would be one of the main priorities.
“Well,” Pinkie said impatiently, lightly stamping a hoof on the ground. “Are you gonna announce it or not?”
“To the castle,” Discord exclaimed, and before anyone could object, they were pulled away.