//------------------------------// // Chapter 10: Wake Me When This Is Over // Story: A Twist of Fate // by Slireon //------------------------------// Shining Armor was no stranger to working through the night.  After almost ten years in the corps, many times had he spent far over thirty consecutive hours awake with no rest whatsoever, so quite frankly, this was nothing out of the ordinary. His body was used to it. Still, he couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty as the military council reconvened at daybreak and he saw the tired, exhausted faces of his fellow officers. He had seen them all barely five hours ago, but it looked like years had passed on their ends. After all, they were the ones who had been hooves on the ground doing all the hard work.  Meanwhile, due to Major Mare’s untimely resignation, he had been spending all the night in his tent, running over the plans for the reconstruction, and deciding their next course of action, all by himself. I look like I just woke up from a thousand year nap in comparison… And I feel like it, too, Shining thought.  Chief Royal Engineer, Lieutenant General Eóburgh, a tan earth pony mare with dark brown mane and tail, held a hot cup of coffee in her hooves, and grim determination in her narrowed, wary eyes. However, the Lieutenant General’s obvious exhaustion had nothing on First Lieutenant Morning Star of the Royal Mage Corps: the light green unicorn mare with pale cornflower blue mane and tail had slammed her head straight into the table with nary a groan and a splitting headache due to magical overuse. To be fair with both mares, they, alongside their respective corps, were doing the lion’s share of the job, cleaning up the piles of debris and ruins that once called themselves Ponyville, as well as bringing in resources, supplies and materials from Canterlot… And, last but certainly not least, keeping the Ursa unconscious until they could relocate it far from civilization. On the other hoof, Second Lieutenant Silver Wind of the Royal Scouts, and Surgeon-Major Ippokrátis of the Royal Medical Corps looked none the worse to wear, despite not having even a minute to rest during the night. In fact, Silver Wind looked almost amused at Morning Star’s misery, while Ippokrátis, brow deeply furrowed, was surely coming up with the appropriate potion to treat a severe migraine due to magical exertion. Shining Armor called all four to attention with a small cough. Eóburgh put her coffee down immediately (though she couldn’t stifle an unprofessional groan of irritation), while Morning Star weakly lifted her head, eyes glazed in pure agony. “I know it’s been a long night, but longer days await us yet, so let’s just get right down to it. Lieutenant Silver Wind, report.” The light blue pegasus mare with violet mane saluted. “Sir, we found the Ursa’s cave about an hour after arrival. The cub was there, and was quickly non-lethally neutralised, as per your orders. As soon as the mages are up to it, we can begin their relocation.” The officers glanced towards Morning Star. Her head had fallen once again straight into the table. Shining couldn’t tell if she was conscious or not, but what he could tell was that if their CO’s state was any indication after the arduous night they left behind, the mages were most definitely not up to such a gargantuan task. Shining promptly turned to the Surgeon-Major. “Surgeon-Major, make sure the mages are back in form as soon as possible. Should the beast wake up and our mages were too tired to keep it down, we could have a major disaster on our hooves. A disaster that we can ill afford.” True, the Royal Guard was more than capable of bringing down an Ursa Major… But more than one good pony would lose their lives.  It was not a risk Shining was willing to take. Ippokrátis, a balding, thick bearded orange-coated pegasus stallion with gray beard, tail and mane, nodded curtly. “Málista. At your order, Captain,” he replied, his voice thick with his native Hayzantine accent and coarse with age. “Captain,” Eóburgh spoke up, “did you go over the suggestions I submitted after the previous council?” “Yes, and we’re agreed,” Shining replied plainly. “Repairing the train station first is a no-brainer, as it restores our supply lines with Canterlot and allows us to receive far more resources than what we can bring here just with magic… And certainly, without taking our mages out of commission while we’re at it.” Morning Star croaked weakly. Shining nodded towards her. “My point exactly. What’s the state of the train station, Lieutenant General?” “Burnt down and caved in, but the damage precedes the rampage. Most of the building itself is beyond repair, but the basic infrastructure such as the rails are salvageable, if not in need of only basic maintenance,” Eóburgh took a chug of her coffee. “Give me until nightfall and we’ll have a train station that would put Lenden’s Waterlǣs to shame.” “Understood,” Shining nodded curtly. “There are several artisans and builders among Ponyville’s populace. Feel free to draft them to help the corps in whatever way they can to speed things up, because as soon as you can spare the ponies, we need to begin rebuilding Ponyville General.” Ippokrátis seemed pleased at this. “Naí, indeed, Captain. Sickness doesn’t care if your town got destroyed, so our medics are dealing with all the sick ponies that would otherwise be taken care of at the hospital. The sooner we can separate the sick from the healthy the better. The last thing we need right now is for any sickness to spread through the camps.” Holy shit, yes, Shining inwardly cringed, as he recalled the bout of dysentery that had broken out at camp during the latest Neightalian campaign in coastal Griffonia, three years ago, where he had served as an Imperial liaison officer. As if the unrelenting sun and blistering heat of the desert hadn’t been enough, their camp had been overrun by the pungent smell of faeces as ponies quite literally shat themselves to death. If he could avoid the same fate befalling any of the already bereaved denizens of Ponyville, he’d do whatever it took. “Hmm,” he thought. “Change of plans. Lieutenant General, can you spare the ponies right now?” Eóburgh frowned. “Depends on how many do you need.” “We need to make sure the sewer system is operational. The Ursa attack might have compromised it. As the Surgeon-Major pointed out, we can’t allow disease to spread through camp. We need to rely on latrines as little as possible, so bringing the sewers into an operational state is a priority.” Eóburgh pursed her lips. “You’ll have to choose which one you’d rather have first then, Captain, because that’s a solid no. We don’t have enough ponypower to clean up debris, restore the train station and do an extensive maintenance work on the sewers at the same time. Especially if you want it all done within the day. My ponies are the best at their jobs, but they’re not miracle workers.” “Noted. Lieutenant,” Shining turned to Silver Wind. “I’m transferring you and the Royal Scouts under the Lieutenant General’s command for the duration of this operation to be used however she deems it fit. We need every hoof we can get, and your job is mostly done already.” Silver Wind’s expression soured, but if she had an objection, she held her tongue. “Aye, Captain,” the mare saluted. “Is this arrangement suitable to you, Lieutenant General?” Shining asked Eóburgh. The mare seemed to be mulling it for a moment, then she nodded. “Aye, Captain. I can work with that.” “Remember, repairing the train station remains the first priority, but whatever ponies you can spare should look into the sewers,” Shining Armor stressed. Eóburgh waved him off. “Don’t worry Captain. I didn’t get to Chief Royal Engineer on my good looks alone. We’ll get it done.” Then she lowered her voice, but not enough to be inaudible. “I’ll need a bloody tonne of coffee, though.” You and all of us, Lieutenant General, you and all of us, Shining agreed internally, but for formality’s sake, maintained his poker face. He glanced around the round table. “Anything else?” Silence. “Get to it, then, ponies. Dismissed.” With a salute (plus a very thorough face-rub on Morning Star’s part), everypony stood up and turned to leave. “Surgeon-Major, a word, please,” Shining called to Ippokrátis before he could cross the tent’s threshold.  The pegasus stopped, then turned around at attention.  “At ease,” the Captain quickly added. “I just wanted to ask…” Shining paused, then took a sigh. In all honesty, he didn’t want to ask, because he was terrified of what the answer could be. “How are they? The stallion and my...” Shining choked on the word. It felt unreal to have her here, rather than by the Princess’ side, and definitely not in a good sense. “... my sister.” Ippokrátis eyes softened. “Captain, you don’t need to worry about her. Miss Sparkle is exhausted, but nothing a good night’s rest and a couple of healing potions won’t take care of.” “Healing potions?” She needs healing potions? Shining Armor’s brain was going a thousand miles per second. Was Twily wounded? Why didn’t you tell me?! Before he could start to panic, though, Ippokrátis coarse voice cut through. “We’re just being overly cautious, to be frank. Taking care of any leg cramps and exertion-induced migraines. She did run all throughout town to flank the Ursa, and she doesn’t seem like the athletical kind, if you don’t mind me saying.” Shining chuckled. “Yeah. She’s most definitely not.” The most exercise Twilight had done when she was a filly was standing up from her reading spot to switch her book after she had finished it. She was as sedentary as they got. Ippokrátis sighed, his brow furrowing. “Now, the other fellow, on the other hoof…” Shining nodded, encouraging the elderly Surgeon-Major on. “There’s no way around it; if it wasn’t for Ms. Sparkle’s timely intervention, he would be dead.” “He’ll recover, though?” “Yes, but given time,” Ippokrátis nodded gravely. “The healing spell your sister employed on him, while a literal life-saver, was rather basic. We had to drain blood from his right lung, as it had been punctured by his broken ribs; his back left leg was completely twisted, and while his cannon was realigned and repaired, it remains in an extremely brittle state. Same goes for his dislocated shoulder; they need to be splinted so they can heal properly.” Shining winced. “Is it really that bad?” “Captain, he was punched across the air by an Ursa Major, crashed spine-first into a wall of cobblestone, which then collapsed on top of him,” Ippokrátis said, emphasising every single syllable. “The fact he survived at all is nothing short of a miracle. Mighty warriors far more resilient than he could ever be have been killed by lesser wounds.” The Surgeon-Major shook his head in mild disbelief. “Indeed, by all accounts, he should be dead. I honestly do not know how he survived long enough for Ms. Sparkle's intervention.” “But he did.” The pegasus nodded with determination. “But he did, and he’ll remain that way, Captain, you can be sure of it.” Shining smiled at the elderly stallion. “I know, Surgeon-Major. On behalf of my sister and her friends, I thank you wholeheartedly.” “Just doing my job, Captain. Just as you’re doing yours.” Ippokrátis bowed. “With your leave.” “Yes, don’t let me keep you any longer,” Shining saluted. “Dismissed.” As the orange pegasus left his tent, Shining Armor turned back to his work desk. Maps and layouts of Ponyville were scattered, as well as copies of any charters and edicts that were related to the small hamlet, all of them references required for the job that laid in front of them. Shining rubbed his nose tiredly.  Looking at the maps and pictures of Ponyville’s infrastructure, he couldn’t help but be puzzled at just how outdated most of it was. Of course, as a small rural town, the technological innovations that were taking place on the constituent kingdoms just weren’t needed this deep into Equestria Proper. The smoking chimneys and steaming engines that plagued the cities on Equestria’s shores had no place here, all of them fruits of an adversity and necessity the Princess’ personal domains had never faced. That was not to say all of Equestria Proper was rural and ‘backwards’; the Free Cities, like Manehattan or Hoofston, were among the cities at the forefront of this new age of industry and commerce, growing richer and richer still by becoming staple ports in the intercontinental trade with the colonies. But Ponyville, when compared to the other cities across Equestria Shining Armor had seen, looked like the last vestiges of a rapidly fading age. There was nothing Shining could do to stop the winds of change. But he could save Ponyville from the fate so many rural towns in Trottingham and Prance had suffered, deserted of its inhabitants or absorbed by the ever-growing metropolises. In fact… Shining pondered. He might be able to turn Ponyville into a centre of modernisation, deep into the heart of Equestria, all the while consciously avoiding the growing inequality, poverty and squalor Lenden or the Rheuhr were suffering.  Or at least, to begin the slow trudge to get there. To place the foundations upon which the future mayor could build. Several ideas in mind, Shining dove hornfist into his maps. He needed to work quickly if he wanted to submit his ideas to the Chief Royal Engineer before it was too late… or she was more caffeine than mare and bucked him in the face for messing with her part of the job. He had barely sent a messenger to the Chief Royal Engineer with his proposals when another guard came in.  For a beat, Shining Armor thought his messenger had had cold hooves and wanted off of the unenviable job of informing the fearsome Lieutenant General that the Captain had changed plans, until he realised this was one of Ippokrátis’ medics. “Captain, sir!” the medic saluted. “At ease. What can I help you with?” “Miss Twilight Sparkle is awake. The Surgeon-Major asked me to inform you at once.” Shining’s eyes widened, his stomach doing some sick backflips in anticipation. “Lead the way,” he ordered, his voice tense, trying to keep his emotions in check. As they left the tent, medic in front and captain behind, Shining decided to take in the sights of the camp in an attempt to think about something other than Twilight. Standing on the outskirts of Ponyville, the refugee camp was a veritable maze of tents and pavilions, each serving as temporary housing for every household in town, which, fortunately, weren’t all that many. While it was modeled after a warcamp, the mood couldn’t be more different, even if the patrols gave it a semblance of discipline. Fillies and colts ran freely, playing hide-and-seek and tag and literally every other game that involved running in between the endless sea of tents. Guards drafted willing ponies into service. A few tents down the road, a soup-kitchen was preparing to feed lines of hungry ponies. Fruit stands had been set up by the farmers whose property had survived the rampage, freely giving away their produce to those ponies in need.  It was a tale of two extremes: on one end, the innocent joy of foals playing. On the other, the anxiety and uncertainty of the adults, who had found their lives (and in most cases all their property) uprooted overnight. The mood was weird, both tense and light at the same time. Soon, Shining and the medic arrived in front of one of the tents that composed the medical wing. The medic wordlessly nodded into the tent. “You’ve done a good job, son. Here,” Shining grabbed a bit out of his purse, and tossed it to the medic. “Have one on me.” “Sir, thank you sir!” the medic saluted and left. Shining did manage to hear him muttering something about having nowhere to spend it. Taking a deep breath, he crossed the tent’s threshold. Laying on her cot, Twilight was reading a book, because of course she was, but Shining Armor couldn’t tell what it was about.  Beyond the tired bags on her eyes and slight paleness, you couldn’t tell she had fought and won against an Ursa Major just ten hours ago. In fact, she looked like a normal pony who had spent all day and all night reading heavily. Emphasis on ‘normal pony’, because Twilight did that on a nearly daily basis and looked none the worse to wear. Ah, Twily, Shining thought fondly, taking the sight of his little sister, absorbed in her reading. Never change. … A bit too absorbed in her reading, as she had yet to notice her elder brother standing like a doofus by the flaps of the tent. It was starting to get awkward, so Shining coughed. His little sister perked up her head and turned to look at him. A wide smile broke through her face. “Shiny!” Twilight beamed. “Hey, Twily,” Shining smiled tiredly. “How’s it going?” “Oh, you know. Reading, studying, doing research, losing my home for the second time in less than a month.... The usual.” Shining blinked. That was news to him. “Wait, second?” “Spike,” Twilight snarked laconically. “Ah.” Yeah, that makes sense. “Well, at least you’ve got a tent now. Sorry, I know it sucks, but it’s the be—” “Are you kidding?” Twilight interrupted him. “This is the first time in over a month I have a roof all for myself! And my BBBFF is here, too!” she exclaimed happily, but soon enough her smile became stilted, and her eyes took a sad glaze. “If only it were under better circumstances…” “If it makes you feel any better, I’m going to be staying for a while.” At Twilight’s inquisitive look, Shining added: “I’m Ponyville’s current acting mayor.” “Wait, really?” The purple mare frowned. “But Mayor Mare… What happened to her? Is she okay? She didn’t...” Twilight trailed off, an alarmed look on her face. Shining shook his head with a reassuring smile. “Oh, Celestia no, she’s fine. I think. Last time anypony saw her, at least, she was fine.” But gravity’s a bitch, so that may no longer be the case. “Then what happened?” “She quit.” “She did what?!” “Yep. She resigned right there on the spot, because she couldn’t deal with this anymore. She jumped at your pink friend, Phil I think he was called, pulled a cannon out of his mane, and shot herself into the distance.” Twilight blinked. “You know, all things considered, I can’t really say I wouldn’t have done the same,” Shining joked. “But now I have to go through all the paperwork to set up local elections, and let me tell you, Twily, I’m not looking forward to it.” His little sister closed her eyes in disbelief, shaking her head softly. “What’s up with him, by the way?” Shining added with a creeping sense of awkwardness. He was the only one talking. “Phil?” Twilight asked. “Yeah. Physics don’t really work that way.” His sister frowned. “Shiny, the least time you spend wondering about it, the better. I’ve suffered a lot trying to make sense of him, and in the end, it isn’t worth it, because it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that he’s one of the best friends you could have. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him.”  Nopony said anything for a while. Twilight’s eyes took a sad gaze. She sighed. It was obvious to him that she was bracing herself for the answer she had been wanting to ask from the moment she regained consciousness. “... How’s Applejack?” she asked softly. “Unconscious,” even though by rights he should be dead. Shining sighed and closed in on Twilight, placing a reassuring hoof on her shoulder. “I won’t lie to you. It’s not pretty. But he’s out of the woods thanks to you. You saved his life, Twily.” “I just wish I hadn’t needed to,” Twilight muttered bitterly. “If only he had stayed behind, like I told him to…” Love makes stallions do stupid things, Twily. I would know. “So, uh…” Shining began awkwardly, clumsily trying to address the elephant in the room, while at the same time knowing full well this was not the time for The Talk. But he just couldn’t stop himself. He had to know. “What’s, uh, going on there? Between you and Applejack, I mean.” “We’re just friends,” Twilight waved the question off, staring at nothing with a sad frown. “Are you? Cos ponies don’t rush headfirst against an Ursa Major for just a friend,” he arched an eyebrow. “You’d do it for Cadence, wouldn’t you?” his little sister pointed out. Shining blinked. That’s… kinda my point? “Yeah, I would,” he nodded. “It’s just that… Be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt, Twily.” Twilight snorted a bitter and mirthless laugh. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but at this rate, the one most likely to get hurt is Applejack, not me. In fact, he already did. Relax. I’ve got everything under control, big brother.” The Captain tilted his head lightly in confusion. I get the feeling we’re having two different conversations here… Wouldn’t be the first time, either.  Just as he was opening his mouth to ask for clarification, he was interrupted by a guard popping her head through the tent. “Captain? The Chief Royal Engineer is asking for you.” Shining stifled a groan. “Tell her I’ll be with her in five.” “Aye, Captain,” the mare saluted, then left. Shining turned to look at his little sister, and shrugged. “Well, I gotta go. If you see him before I do –and given how busy I am, you absolutely will–, tell Spike I say hi, and that I got him the Real Mabrida shirt he wanted.” “Can’t you stay for a little longer?” Twilight pouted. “You heard the mare, duty calls.” Shining paused for a beat. “Well, the Chief Royal Engineer does, actually, and I think she’s going to buck the crap out of me, so I better go and get it over with.” Twilight giggled at her brother’s misfortune. “Just stay out of trouble, okay?” “You’re not the boss of me,” the purple unicorn replied cheekily, crossing her forehooves. Despite her cocky smirk, the sadness remained on her eyes. Shining was not having it, though. “Do it, or I’ll tell mom on you.” Twilight’s lower lip trembled in fear. “You wouldn’t.” “Try me,” Shining smirked smugly, then left her tent. Twilight knew Applejack was in a bad state. Shining had told her as much. She had seen him, crumbled on a heap, broken bones and bleeding gashes. And still it wasn’t enough to prepare her to the sight of him lying pitifully on a cot, IV tubes keeping him sedated and hydrated, two of his four legs splinted, and covered in bandages, some of them mildly stained with his blood. His hat was nowhere to be seen. It was hard to believe that the broken stallion before her was the same pony that had welcomed her to Ponyville, that had saved her life when she was hanging down a cliff, that had offered to face a dragon just so she didn’t have to, that was always kind and gentle to her (annoyingly so, at times), even if his pride and temper blinded him and made him screw up. Was this truly the same pony? The Applejack she knew was lively, always active, with a light smile on his face. The stallion laying in the cot was a pitiful sight, almost lifeless, his face devoid of expression.  But she knew he was. She had seen him suffer the life-threatening injuries that had left him like this. And it made her heart ache like nothing she had ever experienced before. Twilight gingerly picked up the stallion’s left hoof with her own. He was so cold. The hardest part was getting her head around the fact that this was nopony’s fault but his own. It was his own pride and stubbornness what took him out of shelter and back into the fray. Pride cometh before the fall, and he had barely survived the impact out of sheer dumb luck. Twilight wasn’t dumb. Nopony had told her as much, but she knew Applejack should be dead, considering the blow he had received. Under normal circumstances, his spine would have snapped, and his organs turned to mush, killing him instantly upon impact. If he was lucky enough. But it didn’t. Perhaps Applejack was just too stubborn to die. Or perhaps… Perhaps there was something else protecting him. Something magical. To be honest, Twilight had had her suspicions for a while now. Her friends endured far too much abuse to be normal. Case in point: Rainbow Blitz could crash into the ground at terminal speed, yet he was barely bumped up, instead of breaking several of his bones and earning a night or two in the hospital, something his reputation held as an almost weekly occurrence. Or the fact that Rainbow Blitz and Applejack had survived Apple Bloom's lethal cooking, while some other pony had died of severe intoxication. Something was keeping them alive, even when by rights they should have kicked the bucket a long time ago. But what? What did they have in common, that other ponies didn't? Why could they suffer so much damage without any lasting injuries, while other ponies like that one guy suffered their logical consequences?  Truly, all there was to it was the fact that Applejack and Rainbow Blitz were her friends. Nothing else. Yet friendship never stopped other ponies from meeting untimely demises. … Unless that was just it. Twilight knew it sounded terribly arrogant, but she knew her friendship with the boys wasn't a normal friendship. It was something magical, for it was inextricably linked to the Elements of Harmony. Perhaps it was a leap, but what if it was that same magic what kept them safe? That protected them from certain death, making them far more resilient than normal ponies?  What if the Elements of Harmony themselves were actively protecting their bearers, keeping them alive? Part of Twilight’s mind wanted to dismiss that notion as ridiculous. Magic doesn’t work that way, it said. Magic worked under specific sets of rules, both natural and artificial, and the closest there was to what she had in mind was armour enchantments… but those fortified armour, not ponies. However, the rest of her mind rapidly shushed that part. She’d spent the larger part of the previous day trying to investigate Phil’s “Pinkie Sense”, and just last night he had been instrumental in keeping both of them alive throughout the confrontation with the Ursa Major. It pained that first part of her mind to think about it, but Twilight had no other choice but to accept that some kinds of magic just could not be explained scientifically. Like the Pinkie Sense. And the Elements of Harmony… They played by their own rules. The properties of artifacts as old as those were completely unknown to ponykind. Hay, the artifacts themselves had been nothing but an old, nearly-forgotten legend until a few months ago, and the specifics of their workings or the effects they had on their bearers were a complete mystery.  Who knew? They might as well be protecting the Bearers from harm. It was an interesting hypothesis that she’d take great relish in researching. But that would have to wait. At the moment, nothing was more important than Applejack. She would look over him. It was the least she could do for her best friend. Making herself comfortable, Twilight took out the book she had been reading back at her own tent, and continued reading without reading, killing time and trying to keep her mind busy without much success.  By turns, different ponies came in the tent to visit Applejack. With the exception of Big Mac, who stood a silent vigil by his brother’s bedside for almost a whole hour, they never remained for long. Elusive fidgeted uncomfortably. Butterscotch had brought him gifts. Phil only stared sadly. Spike kept her company for a few minutes, then left to clear his head. Apple Bloom couldn’t even force herself to cross the tent’s flaps out of pure distress, despite the words of encouragement from her friends.  Through it all, Twilight didn’t let go of Applejack’s hoof. Not even as she fell asleep, curled up on her chair, resting her head on top of his cot. Night had fallen on Ponyville, and Rainbow Blitz had taken wing. He wasn’t going anywhere, really. Just aimlessly roaming. Despite the bustle and hustle of the camp, or the tireless soldiers cleaning up the debris that the Ursa had previously covered, he felt adrift and alone. Fighting a losing battle against the unrelenting current. And now, Ponyville was no more. Their livelihoods had been squashed flat. One of his closest friends had almost died. And he was done pretending he was doing just fine. He needed some time to think. To let go of the pent-up frustration and anxiety. Going for a flight was something he sorely needed. Except that something caught Blitz’s eye before he could bolt away. Sitting atop a small hill, overlooking what had once been Ponyville, was a single, lone, pink stallion. Just… Sitting there. Rainbow Blitz frowned. Phil wasn’t really his first pick for company. He was a bit too much, too overbearing and unpredictable, even for Blitz. But he was his friend… And something seemed off. “Hey, Phil,” Blitz called out, bracing himself for the imminent high-pitched shrieks. The pink stallion looked up to him. “What’cha doin’?” Phil raised his left hoof. He was holding a bottle. “Vodka,” he replied evenly. Yep, there was indeed something off with him. “Wanna join?” On the other hoof, perhaps what a drink or two was just what he needed. “Yeah, sure,” Blitz nodded, flapping his wings to land next to him. He almost screwed it up and slammed himself against the pink stallion, but luckily, he managed to pull it off at the last second. I really need to work on my landings, he noted as his hooves touched the ground, skipping to slow himself down. “So, what brings you to my hill?” Phil asked the pegasus as he took a seat next to him.  “I needed some air, I guess,” Rainbow Blitz replied honestly. “Some time for myself to think.” “Don’t we all?” Phil chuckled mirthlessly. That was it, Blitz realised. What was off with Phil. He wasn’t being obnoxiously cheerful. He wasn’t jumping up and down in excitement. He was acting like a normal pony for once in his life. Just like everypony else would do after losing their homes and livelihoods overnight. Phil chugged a drink from the bottle, then handed it to Rainbow Blitz. The pegasus accepted it wordlessly. “‘My’ hill?” Well, with two words. “Yeah. I come up here when I feel like I need a moment. Or two. Or a lot of them.” “Does that happen often?” “From time to time,” Phil replied laconically. “At times life just gets… a bit too much. Y’know what I mean?” Blitz sighed, then took a swing from the bottle. “Yeah.” Silence descended upon them, as they passed the bottle back and forth and gazed at the beautiful stars above them. “Have you gone visit Applejack?” Phil eventually asked softly. Rainbow Blitz shook his head. At Phil’s tilted head, he shrugged. “I mean, I think he hates my guts or something? I don’t know, man. I don’t think he wants me there.” “But you’re friends,” Phil pointed out, sporting a confused frown. “We all are.” “Yeah, we are, but he’s still avoiding me for some reason, so if he doesn’t want to see me, I’ll respect that.” Chug. Pass. “He’s been doing it since the whole ticket fiasco.” “Hmmm…” Chug. Pass. “We went a tiny bit crazy about that, didn’t we?” “Heheh. Yeah, we did.” Chug. Pass. “But after that game, I thought we had all made up. I mean, Butterscotch tried to stab you and yet you guys are all chummy now!” “Oh, Blitzie, you silly filly.” Chug. Pass. “Nopony can resist my magnetic charisma! You just can’t stay mad at me!” “Fair enough.” Chug. Pass. “But still, Applejack is pissed at me, and I have no idea what I did to annoy him that much.” Phil took a swing, then scrunched his face in thought. “Nap on his trees?” Pass. Chug. “Been doing it since I came to Ponyville.” Pass. Chug. “Destroyed his orchard?” Pass. Chug. “Wouldn’t be the first pony to do it, and it wouldn’t be the first time, either.” Pass. Chug. “Banged his sister?” Pass. Blitz didn’t take the bottle. “... Dude, she’s like, nine.” Shrug. Chug again. “Banged his brother?” Pass. This time he did take the bottle. “Nnope.” Chug. Phil’s eyes lit up. “Oh! I think I got it.” “Yeah?” Pass. “Yeah. Remember when we were off to Elusive’s boutique for the fashion makeover? You and Applejack weren’t on board for it. You said it was kinda ‘gay’.” “It was pretty gay, though,” Blitz muttered. Phil shrugged. “Elusive said that if you weren’t up for that ‘gay’ stuff, then you were abdicating your tickets. So to prove you were up for it, you kissed Applejack.” “... Wait, I did?” He honestly didn’t remember. “Yep. He, uh… didn’t like it. Like, at all.” “Huh.” Blitz frowned. “... That’s it?” “Well, Applejack’s a farm pony. They’re usually more conservative about that stuff. I would know.” “That’s pretty fucking stupid.” “You think?” “Everypony is a bit gay from time to time,” he said. At Phil’s curious look, the pegasus added: “I mean, I’m not gay, but I’m confident enough of my own sexuality to not really care either way.” “Your mane seems to disagree!” Phil passed him the bottle. “Yeah, well, that’s genetics for you,” Blitz chuckled. “My dad’s got the same rainbow mane. Same thing with my uncle. Auntie Ace got lucky, though, she’s just blonde.” The pegasus looked at the pink stallion. “What about you?” “Me? Oh, I’m totally adopted!” Phil replied happily. “All my sisters are grey, so is my mom, and my dad is brown! There’s literally nopony with any degree of pink in my family!” “Wait, really?” Blitz blinked. “You’re adopted?” He laughed. “Nope! I’ve got a twin sister and Grandpa Quartz always said I looked just like my mum, only, y’know, pink. God just decided to have a laugh when he created me!” Blitz chuckled, taking a swing from the bottle, and handed it to Phil. He turned pensive. “Now that’s a thought. Do you think there’s a God out there? With a plan for us and everything?” he wondered. Phil mulled it for a moment, taking a chug from the bottle. “Maybe? I don’t see why not. We’re the weirdos who worship their ruler as a Goddess and say her name when we swear or stuff like that, but that doesn’t mean she created the world and the stars and everything. We can have a God, and a Goddess-Empress, they’re not mutually exclusive,” he noted. “Saddle Arabians got their own religion and everything.” Chug. “Griffons too.” Pass. “Huh.” Chug. Pass. “I knew about the Saddle Arabians with their Caliphate, but I had no idea about the griffons having their own thing.” “Don’t you have a griffon girlfriend?” “Okay, first things first, not a girlfriend, just a girl who’s a friend,” with benefits, “and second, Gilda never really cared much about that stuff.” “Well, to each their own, I guess,” Phil chugged, then passed the bottle to Blitz. “Still, what I mean is, when you think about it, the Princess isn’t really a God. Well, Goddess.” “Though she does raise the sun at will,” he pointed out. “That’s a pretty Godly thing to do.” “Yeah, but at the end of the day, she’s still just a pony.” Blitz whistled. “Don’t let Twilight catch you saying that. She lectured me for half an hour the last time I said the Wonderbolts were cooler than the Princess.” Chug. Pass. “She worships the very ground the Princess steps on.” “Then again, she’s Twilight’s mentor, so can you really blame her?” “Oh, hell no. I’d be pretty much the same if Spitfire took me under her wing. Heck, I’d let her peg me if she wanted to.” Phil only stared at Blitz blankly for three full seconds, saying nothing. “Right,” was all the pink stallion said before taking a chug of the bottle. Absolute silence. Both stallions broke down laughing. “Just kidding, just kidding!” “Are you, though?” The earth pony challenged him. “Yep, just kidding.” “Are you, though?” There was a glint to Phil’s eye. Like he was privy to Blitz’s deepest secrets. “... Well, only if she asked me really nicely…” Blitz broke under pressure. “... And used lube. Like, all of it.” Phil began laughing.  Loudly. “Hey, you can’t blame me!” Blitz flapped his wings, flustered. “I’ve had a crush on her since puberty! It’s a celebrity crush, everypony gets them.” Phil laugh subsided, then scratched his chin in thought. “I didn’t, not really.” “Seriously?” “Yeah, folks aren’t all that fond of ‘celebrities’ back at the rock farms in Hayowa.” Blitz blinked. This was the first time he had ever heard of Phil’s childhood, beyond offhand mentions of his Granny Pie. “You grew up in a rock farm in Hayowa?” “Yep!” “... A rock farm.” “Yeppers!” “... You farmed rocks.” Blitz’s voice was flat. Phil nodded. “Yippity Yep!” “How, uh… how was that?” How do you even farm rocks? “Just as boring as it sounds.” Thought as much. “And, uh, what did you get up to? When you weren’t farming rocks, I mean.” “Mostly think. You spend a lot of time thinking when you’re on a farm. And then a lot of time repressing those thoughts!” Phil replied happily, even if his words were anything but. “Wait, what?” Blitz blinked. “What is that supposed to mean?” “I’ll leave it up to your imagination!” That’s what Blitz did. “So… I’m guessing... gay?” Phil looked almost offended. “What? Of course not!” Before the pegasus could say anything, however, he added: “I’m pansexual!” That didn’t help making things clear. It was the first time Blitz had ever heard that word. “... Okay, I don’t want to be mean or anything, but what the hay does that mean?” Blitz tilted his head. “Do you have a sexual attraction to pans? Is that why you’re such a good cook?” He blanched in horror, as a terrible thought crossed his mind. “Oh dear Celestia, is that what you mean when you say you make it with love?! What the fuck do you use for frosting, you disgusting monster?!” he screamed, thinking back with revolt on all the cupcakes, muffins and pies Phil had made for him. “What? Oh, I don’t have a thing for pans, you silly filly! It means I’m into everypony! Mares, stallions, and everything in between! Other species, too! As long as we’re all consenting adults, it’s all good!” “Oh, good…” Blitz breathed heavily, trying to clear his mind. It took him a few chugs to do it. “... Wait, there’s an ‘in between’?” “We don’t usually talk about it, but yeah,” Phil said, curiously non-cheerful, yet not serious enough to warrant a raised eyebrow. So Blitz just took a swing of vodka. “Anyway, did you notice what you said? ‘Oh dear Celestia’. Why didn’t you just say ‘oh dear God’? Geez, talk about cult of personality!” “Good point.” Chug. “Then again, raises the sun.” “You’re no fun! You’re hanging too much with Twilight. Hay, you’re even hoarding the vodka!” “Oh, right. Sorry.” Pass, but not without taking another chug beforehand. Phil shot him a mean look. “Wait, Twilight hoards all the alcohol when she drinks?” “As far as I know she doesn’t drink, but she seems like the type to be awful at sharing, doesn’t she?” Phil mused.  “I’m not, though,” Blitz pursed his lips. “Weeeeell, you started alright, but you’re slowly getting worse at it.”  “What? No, hanging out with Twilight, I mean. I’m not doing that. I think she finds me annoying.” “How dare she!” Chug. “You’re not annoying! You’re delightfully obnoxious!” Pass. “... You know what? I think you mean that as a compliment, so cheers to that.” Chug. Pass. “Why wouldn’t it be a compliment?” Phil looked genuinely confused. “Well, it’s just that… sometimes I get the feeling I’m the guy nobody really likes.” Even though I’m like, literally divinely ordained as the Patron Saint of Loyalty, or something like that. “Like, Twilight finds me annoying. Yeah, fair enough, she’s a bit uptight like that, so I can’t blame her; she annoys me too, to be honest. Elusive is kind of a dandy, so we butt heads a lot. We used to be cool with Applejack but now he hates me because he’s an homophobe, apparently? And Butterscotch is… just there, really.” “You’ve known each other since you were colts, though.” Chug. Pass. “Yeah, but being old friends doesn’t necessarily equal being close friends.” “Well, I like you very much!” “... You know what? You aren’t half bad, either.” Perhaps it was the alcohol talking, but Blitz found he meant it. Chug. Pass. “Wanna hang out when we’re sober? Do some shit?” There were stars in Phil’s eyes, and not just the reflection of the literal ones in the night sky. “You mean it?” “Yeah! Why wouldn’t I? We’re the cool misfits of the group! We gotta stick together!” Yep, that was definitely the alcohol speaking. Sober Blitz was far too cool for other ponies. But maybe… Maybe a companion would be nice. Instead of jumping up and down squealing in excitement, Phil only nodded a happy smile, then took another swing of the bottle. “Say, Phil?” “Yeah?” “How come we haven’t finished the vodka yet?” “Oh, we’re starting the fourth bottle. You’re just not paying attention.” “Wait, what?” Blitz blinked, quickly turning his head towards Phil. The world swam and swirled around him, leaving him reeling. “Woah! Heheh. Oops,” he chuckled, noticing the three empty bottles lying by Phil’s side. “Yeah, tomorrow morning is going to be awful!” Phil cheerfully added. “Yeah, it is,” Blitz said, snickering. A few seconds later, he added, “We’re homeless and drinking way too much alcohol. Does that makes us, like, legit hobos?” “Woo!” Phil cheered, voice slightly slurring. “Hobo bros!” “Hobo bros!” Blitz joined in. “Hobo bros!” Both stallions laughed that silly, wheezing, incoherent laugh at nothing you only get when you’re inebriated. They remained like that for a while, laughing freely, enjoying a comfortable companionhood. “Why do you say ‘silly filly’?” Blitz eventually asked. “We’re guys.” “It rhymes,” Phil said with a shrug, before taking a chug of the bottle. “B’sides, ‘colt’? There’s lit’rally nothing to work with with that. Other than ‘you dolt colt’, I mean, but that just sounds mean and isn’t nearly as catchy as ‘silly filly’.” “Huh. Fair enough. Gimme,” Blitz said, and got a vodka bottle for his troubles. “Next question: how do ya’ farm rocks?” “Are we playin’ twenty questions?” Phil asked, raising an eyebrow but with an amused smile on his face. “Cos that’s not how you play twenty questions!” Chug. “No, we’ren’t playin’ tw’nty questions.” Pass. Chug. “Party pooper.” Pass. Chug. “Sue me.” Pass. Chug. “I’ll be my own lawyer.” Pass. “You’re boned.” Chug. “Don’t get cocky now, Dashie. You’ll find I’m full of surprises!” “Like the fact ya’ grew up on a rock farm.” Pass. “Yeppers!” Chug. Pass. “Like, seriously tho’, how do ya’ farm rocks?” Blitz couldn’t wrap his head around it. Phil blew a raspberry. “Pffff, don’t ask me! I have a party cutie mark for a reason!” “Because you’re a disgr’ce to your family?” “For two reasons!” the pink stallion corrected himself with a laugh, and the pegasus couldn’t help but follow suit. Their laugh, however, was interrupted when Phil yawned profusely. “It’s getting pr’tty late,” he muttered, and without any further ado, he dropped flat on his back. “Night night.” Blitz did a double take, the nearly empty bottle of vodka on his hooves. “Wait, you’re just gonna sleep ‘ere?” “Yeppers!” Phil yawned, as he made himself comfortable on his spot on the grass. “Wake me when this is o’er, will ya’?” I don’t think you can sleep that long, Blitz noted tiredly. “On s’cond thought, hangover,” Phil muttered, not even raising his head from where it rested. “Just don’t wake me. Like, ev’r.” The pegasus chuckled, turning his gaze upon the million twinkling stars, the constellations on the sky. Perhaps… Perhaps there truly was a God out there, watching over them. If there was a God, it would have seen how he fell asleep, side by side with his friend, with nothing but each other’s warmth to stave off the cold, and yet, without needing for anything. If there was a God, perhaps it would have smiled.