"Well you certainly know a way to a woman's heart, eh big guy?"
As Spike and I walked out of the boutique, I couldn't help but poke a little fun at him. After all, I'm sure during the time he's known these mares and from what I've been told, he's no stranger to playful banter. "Yeah, yeah, you can laugh all you want." He was hovering next to me while swiping off any leftover cat fur he still had on his hide, letting the wind blow them away. He then had a smug look on his face. "Besides, I doubt you'd have any better luck with somepony like her."
"Not from this world, remember?" I reminded him in a deadpan tone. "Besides, I don't really know how interracial... or in this world's case inter-species taboos work, but I'm not exactly comfortable hitting on an individual out of my own biology."
"Eh, that just sounds like another excuse to me," he scoffed back.
He's obviously trying to downplay my charm... or lack thereof. He's not entirely wrong, but I'm not going to give him the satisfaction. "Well I do know for sure that if I wanna try and woo her, destroying her room while chasing her cat and arguing with her little sister ain't the way to do it."
"Alright, alright. Point taken." He seems to have surrendered, his smug attitude dropping immediately. Damn, it took me being transported to an alien world to awaken my sharp wit. Suddenly, he looked concerned about something, and was patting his whole body as if he forgot something, and it seemed he remembered. "Ah, haystacks. I left my satchel in the boutique. This is gonna be awkward."
"Heh, totally. You go on ahead, I'll just hang out here." He responded with a nod and flew back in the boutique, and I just sat on the ground, awaiting his return.
"A-CHOO! Darn cat fur!" I heard a scatchy voice yell out in irritation.
I looked around to find the source of the sneeze and voice. I couldn't find it anywhere around my area. Suddenly, I felt something soft land on my nose. It was a tuff of that leftover cat fur Spike was trying to wipe off of himself. I felt the fur actually tickle the inside of my nostrils. My face was starting to scrunch up as I felt pressure in my nose. "A...A...A-CHOO!" I saw the piece of fur fly away from my face, and was being blown away by the wind. In that same direction, my attention was caught by an abnormally bite sized cloud, similar to the one I saw at the castle. It was as high off the ground as the boutique was tall. Is there someone up there spying on me? I gotta get to the bottom of this... or top.
"Yo! Anyone up there?!" I didn't get a response, but I'm not letting it slide that easy. "Come on, I know someone's up there! I heard ya sneeze, so ya ain't foolin' me!" It was silent for a few seconds, then I heard a sigh, and not much longer afterwards, a head pops out, revealing a familiar face: it was the blue, rainbow-maned pegasus I met at Twilight's castle a few hours prior. My suspicion went away as soon as I saw her. "Oh, it's you. Uhhh... Rainbow Dash, right?"
She flew to ground level, but was still hovering above me. "Yep. The one and only," she said in a rather unenthusiastic tone while crossing here hooves, a pretty obvious hint that she still hasn't fully accustomed to my appearance here in Ponyville.
I rubbed my hair a little. "Hehe, right... Sooo, what's up?"
She shrugged. "Nothin'. Just flyin' around..." A glare starts hardening on her face. "... Making sure you don't cause any trouble."
I sighed. My hunch was apparently true. "So you were spyin' on me."
"Don't act surprised," she said in a smug tone, with the smirk to match. "I told you I was gonna keep an eye on ya."
I rolled my eyes slightly. "Riiight, how could I forget?" Probably not the best idea, but I should have a little fun with this, so I mirrored her smirk. "I always appreciate it when someone warns me they're gonna stalk my every move. See anything ya like?"
She leans closer to me with a glare. That obviously riled her up. "Cut the smart talk, wise guy. You might've earned Spike and Twilight's trust, but I'm not easily fooled, ya know."
My smirk and smart ass demeanor went away. "Why're you so suspicious of me? In case you're not aware, I'm literally an alien in this world. I barely know how this body works, and I'm pretty sure I'm the one who gets hurt more than anyone else, so what's so threatening about me?"
She decides to hover in circles around me. "Well maybe it's because the princesses, the most powerful and smartest ponies in Equestria, just welcomed you, a being from a totally different dimension, into their castle without even askin' any questions..."
"I mean they asked like 5, but I didn't keep cou-"
"Hey!" She zoomed up to my face in the middle of my sarcastic remark. "I said no smart talk!"
This is getting annoying now. "Will you just get to the point, already?!"
She backed away, but didn't get rid of her gaze. "My point is that them trusting you right off the bat doesn't make any sense."
"From what I've seen so far and what I've been told, nothing about this world makes any sense."
She opened her mouth to speak her counter-point, but then just sighed. "Ok, I can kinda see where you're going with that..." I'm surprised she admitted that. "... But that still doesn't change my mind. I've met ponies who put on a friendly face and gained everypony's trust, but they turned out to be the complete opposite of what they say they were, and there's no reason it won't happen again."
Geez, this pony's so persistent. "The worst thing I've ever done was steal a bag of chips from a gas station when I was a kid." Even to this day, I still regret that. "Also, you're makin' it sound like I came here on my own free will. I was literally taken from my home."
She enters my bubble again. "You can use that as an excuse all you want, but I'm not giving up that easy. When I find out you hurt anypony in my home, I'll be there to take you down." She said that in a more threatening tone.
I furrowed my eyebrows, letting her know I'm not afraid of her. "Well then Ms. Tough-feathers, I hope you're prepared to be disappointed."
She was then inches away from my face. I could tell she was feeling more competitive, because she suddenly smirked. "Oh, I'm always up for a challenge. But I gotta warn ya... I always win..." She emphasized that by firmly thumping my chest with her hoof, but I was still standing my ground. "... Remember that, Alex Flame." I could feel the toxicity when she said that. Then suddenly, she zoomed away from me, a strong gust of wind blowing at my body.
"Okay, good talk!" I yelled sarcastically as I saw her fly away. "We should do this again sometime!" As she disappeared from my sight, I actually let out a sigh of relief. I don't doubt that she'll keep her word, but at the same time, I'm not gonna bend over to some hot headed winged pony who thinks she has me all figured out. I'll prove her wrong one day.
"Alex?" I turned around and saw Spike hovering towards me with his satchel over his shoulders. "I came out just in time to see Rainbow Dash fly away. Everything alright?"
That question caused me to snort. "Oh yeah. We seem to be gettin' along just fine." I said that in the most mocking tone I could muster. "I bet we'll be besties in no time."
Spike sighed, obviously catching the sarcasm in my voice. "She still doesn't trust ya, huh?"
I simply shrugged. "Eh, I'm sure I'll get through to her at some point during my time here. She can't hate me forever, right?"
Spike looked like he wasn't entirely convinced by that. "I dunno about that. That's easier said than done. She's a pretty hard pony to crack. Especially when it involves everypony she cares about."
"Hmm... Well, I definitely can't fault her for her loyalty," I honestly said. "But I'm not too worried about her..." Despite that note, I looked around the area, but mostly the sky. "... Well, ya know... except when she's watchin' my every move, apparently."
Spike chuckled at that. "Well, if you say so, but if you want my opinion, just give her some space, and as time flies, I'm sure she'll realize you're really nothing to be intimidated by."
I turned my attention back to Spike with a quizzical look after he said that last part. "Not sure if I should be relieved or insulted by that."
He shrugged while having a smug grin. "Well, you can take it anyway you want." I only responded with a groan and roll of my eyes. "Anyway, where to next?"
"Well, that depends. Who's closer?"
"Well we're still in the middle of Ponyville. If it were up to me, I think Sugarcube Corner would be our next stop. Pinkie works there, so we could probably hang out with her for a little bit."
"Sounds like a plan to me. I'll follow your lead." I lifted myself in the air, and started following Spike to our next destination. I'm really surprised how much easier this is getting. With a little more help, I should be used to this no problem, but it'll take a little more time before I've completely mastered it.
We arrived at our next stop in almost no time at all thanks to our wings. As I was staring at what was in front of me, I felt the need to ask myself a question... "How in the HELL did I not notice this before!?"
The only way I can describe what I'm looking at is that it is literally a giant gingerbread house, and it could attract Hansel and Gretel a hundred times over! It was layered with gingerbread cookies, frosting, and the tower is literally just a giant cupcake, and it even has candles on it! Honestly I was very tempted to take a bite out of it, but I'm pretty sure it's not real, and I would look like an idiot in front of all these ponies.
"Quite a sight, huh?" Spike asked, nudging me with an elbow, but I was still looking at it wide eyed and jaw dropped.
I shook my head rapidly, trying to come back to my senses. "I'll say! I can feel my mouth starting to water just by looking at it!"
"Well if that's the case, I doubt you'd survive when you walk through that door. But there's only one way to find out. Come on!" Spike hovered inside while I slowly followed him, still in awe at the design of this building.
We walked through the doors of this world of pure imagination, and if I'll be completely honest..... it's kind of disappointing.
The outside may cause my saliva to build up on astronomical levels, but the inside looks like literally every candy store I've been to back at home. Despite that, I'll give this place the benefit of the doubt. From all the food I've had during the time I've been in this world, I'm sure I won't be disappointed by the sweets they sell here.
"Mr. and Mrs. Cake?!" Spike suddenly yelled out while ringing a bell on the counter, "You there?!"
Honestly I wasn't okay with that, so I pulled him away from the counter. "That's a bit rude, dontcha think?"
Spike looked at me like I didn't know what I was talking about. "Dude, relax. It's okay, I've been here enough to last a lifetime. I'm basically family here."
"Oh, hi Spike!" Someone yelled out at that moment. I got a glance behind the counter and saw an earth pony walk up. I could tell because she didn't have any wings nor a horn. Her fur was a shade of blue, and has three cupcakes as a cutie mark. "What can I-" She stopped talking when she set her sight on me. "Oh! Hello there!" Okay that definitely wasn't the reaction I was expecting. "You must be the new umm... visitor."
"Guess I'm already the talk of the town, huh?" I quipped politely.
"I guess you could say that," She responded. "Your name's... Ash Blaze, correct?"
Wow... That actually kind of sounds better than the name I came up with. Too late to change it, unfortunately. "Well you were kinda close. I'm Alex Flame."
"Ah, I see." She said that in a polite way, but I could tell she was kind of disappointed... and honestly I don't blame her. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure, dearies?"
"Well we were hoping to see if Pinkie was around." Spike answered.
"I had a feeling that was the case. Wait right there, I'll go get her. However, I wouldn't be surprised if she knew you were here already." With that last statement, she goes upstairs to fetch the pony we came to see.
"Guess word travels fast around these parts, huh?" I asked Spike.
"That's a huge understatement," he replied. "I wouldn't be surprised if everypony in Equestria already knew you were here."
From what I've heard about Spike and the others, I had to ask. "How do y'all handle that much attention? It must've been overwhelming for you."
"Nah, we get by just fine," he answered, nonchalantly waving off my theory. "It's really not as bad as you'd think once you get used to it. You'd actually be surprised how laid back ponies can be around us... well, except for that one time."
"Whatcha talkin' about?!"
"AAHH!" Me and Spike yelled out in unison as the giant piece of pink cotton candy just appeared literally out of nowhere, at least from my perspective.
"AAHH, yourselves!" she responded simply and loudly. Before I could ask her anything and look for whatever portal she just jumped out of, Pinkie suddenly zoomed into my personal bubble and locked me in a deathly tight hug around my neck. "FLAMEY! I'm so glad you're here!"
"...Pinkie..." I tried to muster out as I felt my spine being cracked and my windpipe being crushed. "...choking... not breathing."
Before I could knock on death's door, the logic-defying earth pony released me, her face telling me she just realized what she was doing as I was breathing in air as if I never have before. "Hehe, sorry Flamey. I'm just so excited that you're here!"
"No kiddin'," I responded while I was panting lightly and rubbing my neck. "If that's you when you're excited, I can only imagine what would happen if I got on your bad side."
"Pfft, bad side, schmad side." She said while waving off my assumption. "There's only one thing that'll make me mad, but I'm sure you'll never have to worry about that."
I know that was meant to reassure me, but I'm not getting that vibe. "Dear lord, I hope not."
"Hey!" She suddenly bursted out in front of my face, lightly spitting on me. "Why don't we go up to my room!? I can give you a tour and we can hang out!" She then started bouncing up and down in excitement.
I wiped the spit off my face. "I couldn't be anymore excited than I already am."
"Of course you couldn't!" She obviously didn't catch my deadpan sarcasm. "It's upstairs. Let's go!" Without even giving me a chance to say another word, she literally zoomed upstairs out of our sight in a second as if she was freaking Sonic the Hedgehog!
"Wha... where did... how did she-"
"Alex." Spike called me before I could have a mental episode trying to process what just happened. He flew up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Take it from me, my friend. Whatever Pinkie says or does, don't ask any questions. Just roll with it."
How can I just roll with it when it doesn't even make sense!? "That's a lot easier said than done. I mean did you see how-" Spike clamped my mouth, and just shook his head, obviously telling me what he said earlier, which made my eyes start twitching.
"Ya comin', Flamey?!" I turned and saw Pinkie poke her head out from the corner upstairs, smiling like everything she's doing is normal.
"Uhh... yeah just... gimme a sec, alright?"
"Okay!" And in the blink of an eye, she was gone again.
I inhaled deeply, and exhaled heavily, trying to keep myself from asking any questions that will never be answered. I lifted myself up and hovered toward the stairs. I tried to pull myself up to get to the next level, however instead, I actually just crashed myself into the middle of the stairs! I started sliding down, my chin hitting each step down. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow." Am I seriously this much of a rookie at flying I can't even pull myself up?!
I started to hear what sounded like snickering. I looked at Spike, his eyes starting to water as he tried to contain his laughter, but it didn't work, because he started holding his stomach because he was laughing so hard. "You really have a lot of learning to do," He quipped in between giggles. I smiled wryly and lifted up a certain finger. This caused him to look at me as if I was doing something stupid. "Aaaand what's that supposed to mean?"
A smug grin made it's way across my face. "Trust me, my guy. You'll know in due time." He shrugged and started to hover somewhere else in the store, and I got back up and started walking upstairs to Pinkie's room.
I made it to the top of the stairs, and got a glimpse of what Pinkie wanted to show me. From what I could see, the room was- "HI, FLAMEY!"
"OKAY," I landed on my butt after that little jump scare. Is she going to do that every time she sees me?
"What took ya so long?!" I opened my mouth to answer, but Pinkie immediately shoved a hoof in my mouth. "Never mind that! Lemme show ya around!" She dashed away from me to the middle of the room, letting me spit out any fur left on my tongue. "Welcome to Casa de Pinkie!" She then dashes to her bed. "This is my bed! It's super comfy. And you can jump on it!" She starts bouncing on the bed, and every other second she bounces much faster, and in a way I can barely explain, she actually sinks into it, but not much time has passed, she launched herself in the air! "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" Holy crap, she just flew right through the ceiling! I just kept staring at the hole in the ceiling, hoping she would come back. Then it was then and there I heard faint screaming. "-eeeeeEEEEEEEEEE!" She landed perfectly on her bed. "That was awesome! You should try that!"
I shifted my line of sight between her and the hole. "Uh, you do know you just broke your ceiling, right?"
She looked above her, noticing the visible hole. "Oh, that's nothin'. I can have Twilight help me with that. It's an easy fix." That wasn't her first time?! Before I could ask any more questions, she zooms up to the second floor of her room. "This is my own little balcony! And the best part about it, IT'S PERFECT FOR SHOUTING!!" The room actually shook when she started yelling. Has she been hanging out with the Greybeards or something?!
"This is really getting outta hand," I said to myself.
The crazy pony all of a sudden appears right in front of me with a... cannon?! "This is my party cannon. Fire in the hole!"
"WHAT THE FU-"
BANG
The last thing I saw before my vision got blocked was just a storm of confetti jetting right at me. I felt confetti covering my whole face, as well as having a mouthful of it. "So whaddya think?!" I heard Pinkie ask nonchalantly as I shook all the confetti off my face and spat the ones out of my mouth. "Yeah, it's pretty great, isn't it?"
"Look, Pinkie-"
"So whaddya wanna do now?!", She interrupted as she started bouncing around me. "You wanna play a game? Wanna help me do some baking?"
I started to feel a vein pop out of my head. "Pinkie."
"Ooh, do you wanna help pull some pranks?! Do you have pranks back in your world?!"
I can only hold my composure for so long. "Pinkie!"
"Oh there's just so many choices and they all sound so much fun! Choices choices choices choices-"
"PINKIE PIE!!" She yelped and stopped bouncing, landing on her flank in front of me, and I was ready to let it all out. "Ugh, there's just too much goin' on right now!" I started rubbing my head, trying to make the headache go away. "Spike told me to just roll with whatever the hell you do, but I just can't! I swear if I have to hear you ramblin' for more than a second my head is gonna freakin' explode, so can you just give me some damn space!?" I was panting after my outburst, but I took a deep breath in and out, feeling myself calming down.
"I... I'm sorry." Her voice sounded like it was trembling, so I looked at Pinkie, her big, blue eyes watering and her mane actually deflated, going from a poofy mess to a straight, droopy hairstyle, and I think even her coat became a tad darker. I was both confused and felt my anger go away immediately. "I just... I just wanted to have fun with you. I thought you and I could be best friends." Now I feel like an ass. I was just so overwhelmed that I wasn't thinking straight when I yelled at her. Honestly it's absolutely heartbreaking seeing this pony cry, especially since she's so full of life. "You can... You can go if you want." She turns away from me and walks toward her bed. She jumps on it and starts crying.
I can't believe I just did that. I don't think I've ever yelled at anyone like that before. I sighed, then slowly walked up to Pinkie's bed. I just somberly looked down at the whimpering pony, trying to think about what I should say. "Pinkie, I..." I sighed again. "Pinkie, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I was just so overwhelmed by what was happening in the last few minutes that I lost my composure. I really wish I could take it all back." She was still whimpering and sniffing, but she lifted her head and turned to look at me, staring at me with those big, watery puppy dog eyes. It was heartwrenching to look at, but I was glad that she was listening. "The thing is everything around me, and I literally mean everything, is all new to me. I was taken from my home and I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna get back." That was enough to get her to wipe her face and cease her crying, and it seems she's now looking at me in a more sympathetic way, and it even got her to get off her bed and sit in front of me, which I mimicked. "You really do seem like a nice pony. A little out of the ordinary if I might add..." That caused her to giggle quietly but adorably, which caused me to smile lightly. I then decided to place a hand on her shoulder. "But I can definitely tell you're a good soul, and nothing would make me happier than to be your friend."
Her mane went back to her poofy and messy style, and her coat went back to her normal shade of pink, much to my relief. "Really?"
I nodded. "Really."
"You promise?"
"Absolutely."
"Pinkie promise?"
I lightly rolled my eyes, but never wiped my smile. I lifted my hand and extended out my pinkie. "Pinkie promise."
She then looked confused as she was staring at my pinkie. "Ummm... what're you doing?"
I wasn't really expecting that reaction. "I... I-I'm givin' you a pinkie promise. Y'know... pinkie finger?" I wiggled my pinkie to emphasize my point.
She lightly giggled at that. "That's not a Pinkie promise, silly. Here, lemme show ya. Cross my heart." She crossed her chest.
"Cross my heart." I repeated the gesture.
"Hope to fly." She flapped her hooves.
"Hope to fly." I flapped my arms.
"Stick a cupcake in my eye." She proceeded to literally stick a hoof on her eye.
I blinked twice at that, however if I'm gonna be true to my promise, I have to oblige. "Stick a cupcake in my eye." I placed my hand over my right eye, to which I assume my promise is now in full effect.
She seemed satisfied by that. "There ya go. You just made a Pinkie promise." She then proceeded to wrap me in a hug, but this time around, it was just a normal hug. It was actually quite nice. I didn't hesitate to return it. I said it before, but these ponies are really good huggers.
After a little while, we broke away from the hug, and a thought occurred to me. "Hey, I know what'll cheer you up. Wanna hear a joke?"
"Ooh, I love jokes!" She rapidly grabs a stool and slouches on it, eager to hear my joke.
I chuckled at her eagerness, and proceeded to tell it. "Ok, so an arrogant genius makes a bet with an idiot." She nodded at that, acknowledging her attention. "The genius tells the idiot, 'Every question I ask that you don't know the answer to, you have to give me five dollars'."
"Dollars?" Pinkie asks in confusion.
"It's my world's version of bits."
"Ah, gotcha. Continue."
I proceeded, "The genius then tells the idiot, 'Every question that you ask and I don't know the answer to, I'll give you fifty dollars'. The idiot agrees. So the genius asks first, 'Approximately how many people are on this planet?'. Of course, the idiot didn't know the answer, so he gave the genius five dollars. Now it was the idiot's turn. 'What animal stands on two legs but sleeps on three?'. The genius tried very hard to find the answer, but eventually gave up and gave the idiot fifty dollars. The genius says, 'Darn, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?'. The idiot gave him five dollars."
The punchline caused Pinkie to laugh uncontrollably, and it was even enough to make her lean back and fall off the stool, but she just kept on laughing hysterically. Honestly, I didn't think my joke was that funny, but I'm really glad I lifted Pinkie's spirits back up. She then got back up and walked up to me, draping a hoof over me. "That was hilarious! You're really funny, Alex." That was probably the first time she called me by my name. I didn't care to comment on it though, because I didn't want to ruin the moment.
"Glad you and I could work things out, Pinks."
"Yeah, me too." She walked away from me and perked up. "Hey, let's go downstairs and see what Spike's doing. Besides, I think I have a good prank we can pull on him."
I smiled sadistically at that. "No need to convince me to tag along. I'll follow your lead."
We both started walking to the stairs. "By the way," Pinkie caught my attention. "I know you haven't been here for very long, but it kinda feels like you've been here for months."
That caused me to stop walking, and she followed suit. I wasn't sure what she meant by that. "Really? Howd'ya figure?"
"Well it may be just me, but it feels like you've been putting us off for months and just got really lazy and didn't really want anything to do with us, and when you try to, you lose interest very quickly, and it seems everypony else noticed too."
"I... uhhh..." I was't entirely sure how to respond to that.
"But, I'm probably wrong." She thumped my shoulder. "I'm sure you'd never do that to anypony. Now come on! Spike's not gonna prank himself!" She then dashed out of my sight to the lower level.
I was still trying to process what she meant when she said that, but I simply chuckled. "Just roll with it, Flame." I immediately frowned after I said. Great, now I'm referring to myself by my fake name.
I made my way downstairs to join my new pink friend to help pull her prank on Spike.