ten minutes

by Lame Joke


good title name

One day Rainbow Dash was walking when Twilight Sparkle swooped down onto her while flexing her princess/alicorn wings.

"Whaddup twi," Dash asked Twilight

"Your mom so fat she looks like you!" Twilight said.

Dash looked down on her belly. She gasped and realised that it was bulging madly! Her mind immediately raced to the last time she did her workout which was ten years ago and she was in the wonderbolt then. She had been kicked out of the wonderbolt for being 'too ugly', said Spitfire, and had spent the rest of her life gathering fats.

Dash decided to do some exercise. She dragged Twilight to the nearest chess set she could find and sat her down to play chess.

"I need to play chess to get them eye muscles!" Dash hissed before Twilight could say anything. Twilight shrugged.

Dash was defeated by Twilight in about ten seconds. She decided to not give up and asked for a rematch, which Twilight accepted. After ten years, Dash still had not beaten Twilight in chess. The closest she had gotten to beating Twilight is when she survived twenty five seconds.

Dash could feel her eye muscles developing, but she wanted to beat Twilight. She looked at Twilight, who had grown a moustache for some reason even though as a princess she is immortal. Maybe its Pinkie messing with her.

Dash's heart thumps as she moved her pawn to D4, which Twilight immediately took with her queen, initiating a check. Dash growled and moved a knight to block the queen's wrath, only for it to be taken by the queen, and finished with a checkmate.

"Sorry Dash, I have to go! There's this book in the library that i had my eyes on for a while now, and i want to read it! Its the Oxford Dictionary, for your information," Twilight said before flexing her princess wings again and taking flight.

Dash sighed and slumped on the chair. She stared at Twilight's receeding figure, envying her ability to fly as she had grown too fat and heavy to fly. Just like Scootaloo. Dash's eyes lit up, and she dashed off to the CMC clubhouse where she grabbed Scootaloo and ran off.

"Did Scootaloo get kidnapped?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Maybe," Sweetie Bell replied, and they went back home.

Meanwhile, Scootaloo and Dash stopped in the Everfree forest.

"Squirt! I need you to teach me how to fly!" Dash begged.

"Sure!" Scootaloo said, went into a lecture.

"First, when you fly, you must get high. So, you gotta get a trampoline and jump on it. Alternatively, if you are fat enough, you could just bounce on your belly and reach high enough. Then, you need to grab a unicorn, or an alicorn, and force them to use a teleportation spell on you. You will appear in Sweet Apple Acres and you will need to..."

Dash blinked. She faced the ground and bounced on her belly, which propelled her into the air. Once high, she spread her wings and glided her away from the still rambling Scootaloo and to Twilight's castle. She came in through the window and found Twilight staring in the mirror, stroking her own reflection.

"Twi whatcha doin?"

"I just could not love myself enough, being the main character, being a princess and alicorn, and always somehow getting the lead singer role in almost all the songs," Twilight replied, her eyes still glued to her own reflection.

"Alright Narcissus, you better teleport me to Sweet Apple Acres or I shall tell your mother about how much you love yourself and not her!"

Twilight gasped out loud, and light shone from her horn. Dash blinked, and she reappeared in Sweet Apple Acres. Then, she did not know what to do. She regretted leaving Scootaloo's lecture early and not listening to her fully. Dash experimentally opened her wings and flapped it. She was thrown into the air, and carried by the swift currents. She floated all the way to Twilight's castle again, where Twilight is now passionately licking the mirror.

"Ew Twilight!" Dash gagged.

"No why you disgust me I will make you unbreathe," Twilight splurted.

Dash then pusshed Twilight out of the window, where she plummeted down and landed with a huge splat. Since she was immortal she did not die. Then, a light shone around Twilight as she rose into the air. Dash watched in awe. It was just like that time when Twilight became an alicorn!

Twilight rose higher and higher, and she disappeared and reappeared with... two wings and two horns!

"What?!" Dash wrinkled her nose, visibly confused.

Celestia appeared beside Twilight.

"Since you have more horns and wings than me, I will call your mother," Celestia threatened Twilight.

Twilight frantically shook her head. She tried to pull off her second horn, then tried her second pair of wings, but she failed. Celestia magicked a phone out of nowhere and phoned Twilight's mother. She explained that Twilight has more horns and wings than her and have to be sent to Celestia's school for naughty pones. Dash could hear Twilight's mother agreeing with Celestia through the speaker of the phone, and she was recounting tales of how Twilight would break the rules when she was little.

Twilight was sprawled on the ground, crying like a helpless baby. Dash felt sorry for Twilight for getting too much body parts and sprinted down the castle stairs and to Twilight. Dash offered a hoof to Twilight, but she slapped it away.

"Tell Pinkie and Applejack and Rarity and Fluttershy that they will lose their most important friend," Twilight instructed Dash while crying.

"No, not unless you teach me how to fly," Dash replied.

"I will teach you how to fly. First you have to spread out your wings. Then you have to flap it to make yourself airborne. Then keep flapping your wings. Yes," Twilight desperately told Dash.

Dash tried to do that but it did not work. Now she is angry and wanted Twilight to go to Celestia's school for naughty pones. She tapped Celestia and reminded her to get Twilight to that school, and Celestia did.

In the end, Dash still did not know how to get high, and Twilight became naughty.