“Oh crud oh crud oh crud oh crud,” Thorax groaned as he rushed through the halls of Canterlot Castle. “I only let Pharynx out of sight for a minute, how did he disappear like that?”
“Maybe this won’t be so bad,” Starlight said as she tried to keep pace with Thorax. “I mean, this seems a lot like the time Spike was freaking out about you and Smolder meeting each other, and that ended up turning out alright, didn’t it?”
“You know, maybe you’re right,” Thorax said as he slowed his pace a little. “I mean, how much trouble could Pharynx get into wandering around unsupervised in a castle full of Canterlot nobles and warrior-types from all the other races?” A brief moment of silence descended on the pair before both Thorax and Starlight tore off down the hall once again as fast as they could.
“Okay, think. Where would Pharynx have wanted to sneak off to in the first place? It’s not like there could be all that much in the castle that would even interest him,” Starlight said.
“Well, Pharynx did lead the attack on Canterlot during Cadance and Shining Armor’s wedding. I think Pharynx has always wanted a second chance to show that he could have taken everything over if he had had another chance.” Thorax was so focused on thinking of a way of locating his older brother that he failed to watch where he was going, resulting in his nearly crashing straight into Shining Armor as the latter turned a corner. A collision was only averted by Shining Armor levitating Thorax into the air just before the impact.
“Whoa, what’s the emergency?” Shining Armor asked as Thorax reflexively continued flailing his legs in midair. “Oh, uh, hey Shining Armor. No emergency here, I was just…trying to get in some exercise,” Thorax said nervously, earning a disapproving look from Starlight.
“We’re actually trying to find Thorax’s brother, Pharynx,” Starlight explained as Shining Armor lowered Thorax back to the ground. “As far as we can tell, Pharynx wandered off somewhere and it’d be best if we found him before he…”
“Causes some sort of major international incident,” Thorax said.
Shining Armor promptly burst out laughing at this. “Oh come on, if this guy’s your brother then he can’t possibly be that bad.”
“You’ve never actually met Thorax’s brother, have you? Let me put it this way, the first time Trixie and I met him was when he ambushed us and stuffed us into a sack,” Starlight replied.
“And with all the important leaders from these different kingdoms here I really feel like I should be keeping a close eye on him,” Thorax added. “I know Pharynx would never do anything that would jeopardize the hive on purpose, but if he gets into a confrontation with a yak –”
“Or some of the stupider nobles we have wandering around the castle,” Shining Armor added. “Okay, I can see your point. To be honest, I’m kind of in a similar situation right now myself. I was trying to stick by Moonwhisper for pretty much the same reason, but then I got caught up in a conversation with the hippogriff admiral and now I can’t find him. It’s not that I think Moonwhisper is going to pick a fight with anycreature or anything, but he does have a tendency to be a little…”
“Tactless and blunt?” Starlight suggested.
“Yeah, exactly. It’s part of the reason Moonwhisper was never assigned to the Canterlot garrison, he’d have offended nearly every noble in the city in less than a moon. Possibly a lot less, depending on if there were any major events,” Shining Armor added.
“Well, you’re welcome to come with us if you’d like,” Thorax offered. “There’s not really point in splitting up since even if you spotted Pharynx he wouldn’t listen to anything you said, and I’m pretty sure Moonwhisper wouldn’t listen to me either.”
“Moonwhisper barely even listens to me, but I see your point,” Shining Armor said. “I don’t know where you’ve looked so far, but I was planning on checking the castle courtyard next. I think a few of the other delegates have been hanging out there and if I know Moonwhisper he’d probably want to spend time with other soldiers instead of the usual sort of ponies that you’d find here in the castle.”
“Pharynx isn’t really the type who likes to ‘hang out’, but if he has to around anycreature else then he’d probably prefer those sorts of creatures too,” Thorax concluded. With that agreed upon, the trio quickly headed towards the castle’s main courtyard. As they approached their destination, however, a deafeningly load burst of raucous laughter shook the entire castle.
“What in Celestia’s name is that?” Starlight cried out, her ears still ringing form the noise.
“I don’t know, but whatever it is it sounds like its coming from the courtyard. Come on!” Undeterred by the mirthful din, Shining Armor pressed forward and pushed open the door to the courtyard, revealing two ponies laughing next to what at first appeared to be an oddly-textured wall. It took a moment for Shining Armor’s mind to process that what he was looking at, at which point he looked up to see that what he had initially taken for a wall was really the single largest dragon he had ever laid eyes on.
“So, you’re the little pony who pulled that trick off? You look pretty good for a pony that’s over a thousand years old!” the dragon said, its normal speaking voice so loud that Shining Armor and the others could feel the vibrations in their very bones.
The pegasi the dragon was addressing, who both Shining Armor and Starlight immediately recognized as none other than Flash Magnus, joined in the dragon’s raucous laughter. “Well, spending most of that time in Limbo probably helped at least a bit. But, what about you? It’s pretty wild that one of the dragon’s I faced wound up becoming the Dragon Lord.”
“Former Dragon Lord,” the dragon corrected. “My daughter Ember won the title when I stepped down. She’s been the one who’s been behind the whole push to make friends with the ponies and other creatures. I don’t really get the appeal of the whole ‘friend’ business myself, but she’s the Dragon Lord so it’s not my place to question it.”
“Well, I think the purpose of the meeting is less about the sort of friendship that Princess Twilight teaches at that school of hers and more about the sort where you pummel anything that threatens to hurt those you care about,” the other pony said, an elderly unicorn mare Starlight had never seen before. “It seems to me that that particular facet of friendship might be a bit more your style, Torch.”
“Huh, that does sound a lot more dragonish than I thought it would. Maybe Ember really is onto something with all this friendship business after all,” Torch said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
“Um, hey, pardon me?” Starlight said as she stepped forward. “We don’t mean to interrupt anything, but we’re looking for a couple of creatures and we’re just wondering of you’d seen them?”
Torch shrugged his massive shoulders in response. “I probably wouldn’t know if I had. All you ponies and hippogriffs and whatnot are so tiny I have trouble telling you apart. I only recognized these two because I’d fought them before and when you find something that small who can challenge a dragon like me then you remember them.”
“Oh, well I guess that – wait, you’ve fought both of these ponies?” Starlight exclaimed as she stared at the elderly unicorn mare. “Flash Magnus I believe, I mean I’ve known that story since I was a little filly, but you fought him too?”
“And won,” the mare confirmed with a satisfied grin.
“Well, I’d say it was more a tie than anything,” Torch argued. “I mean, I could have won outright if I’d kept fighting, I only withdrew –”
“You retreated because you knew that if you hadn’t you’d have gotten a lot worse than a few holes in your wings and a bruised ego,” the mare said. “Admittedly, I don’t think I’d do nearly as well these days. It looks like the last fifty years or so have been much kinder to you than they’ve been to me, benefits of being a dragon I suppose.” As the mare looked over towards the courtyard entrance her eyes landed on Shining Armor. “You know, Torch, if you want to try another sparring session you might want to try that colt over there. His royal highness isn’t quite as good as I was in my prime, but I’d say he’d probably be an adequate alternative.”
“I don’t know if that would be such a good idea, ma’am,” Shining Armor replied nervously, causing Torch to burst into a fit of laughter.
“It sounds like the little pony would be afraid to face me! Then again, he’s so tiny I might crush him by accident!” Torch burst into laughter once again.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” the mare said before turning to address Shining Armor directly. “So, captain, are you just her to socialize or were you looking for somecreature specific?”
“Ma’am, right now we’re attempting to locate Captain Moonwhisper as well as a changeling who goes by the name of Pharynx, ma’am,” Shining Armor replied as he almost reflexively shot to attention.
“I see,” the mare replied. “Well, I haven’t seen Moonwhisper at all today, and as for this Pharynx, I don’t believe I’ve seen him, but with changelings it can be a bit hard to tell. No offense, your highness,” the mare added as she nodded her head towards Thorax.
“Understood, we’ll continue our search elsewhere. Sorry to have bothered you, ma’am,” Shining Armor said before spinning around and marching back out the courtyard dragging Starlight Glimmer and Thorax along with him.
“Hey, who the hay was that other pony, anyway?” Starlight asked as Shining Armor closed the door behind them. “It seemed like you two knew each other.”
“That was General Shooting Star,” Shining Armor replied.
“Wait, that was the Shooting Star?” Thorax exclaimed with a tinge of horror creeping into his voice. “Queen Chrysalis put her in the top ten ponies we were supposed to avoid fighting at any cost.”
“I still feel like I’m missing something here, she just looked like a regular old mare to me. What’s so special about her?” Starlight asked.
“General Shooting Star’s the head of the guard’s whole magical combat training program,” Shining Armor explained. “I get she’s really old now, but in her prime she was pretty much unstoppable. I’m willing to bet that if she really did take on that dragon, she probably came a lot closer to winning than he’s willing to admit.”
“Well, it’s probably for the best Pharynx didn’t know she was here, he’s always wanted to prove he could catch some of the ponies on Queen Chrysalis’ list off guard,” Thorax said. “I don’t mean he’d try to hurt anypony, more like, you know, trying to play a prank on them or something. Just something to prove to himself that he could really outsmart them if he needed to.”
“Thorax, Moonwhisper wouldn’t have happened to be on that list, would he?” Starlight asked as an uneasy feeling formed in the pit of her stomach.
“Oh yeah, he definitely was,” Thorax replied. “In fact, I think Moonwhisper was right behind Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. I remember Pharynx telling me that Chrysalis made a really big deal about keeping him out of Canterlot when she was planning the invasion and Pharynx was really disappointed he didn’t get a chance to…oh no.”
“So, what are the chances that Moonwhisper would handle a situation like this in a calm and peaceful manner?” Starlight asked nervously. Her question was met by a few seconds of uneasy silence before all three bolted down the hills as fast as their legs could carry them.
*********
“Yak actually think this good idea. Ponies good at being friends and throwing parties, but not all that good at fighting,” Prince Rutherford said.
“They did manage to defeat the Storm King,” Admiral Sea Spray replied as diplomatically as he could, eliciting a snort from Rutherford.
“Princess Twilight and friends beat Storm King; ponies get conquered and chained up. That never have happened if yaks been involved. Yaks would have smashed Storm King and Storm King’s army flat. Yaks best there is when it comes to smashing!” Prince Rutherford added with a grin of pride.
As Admiral Sea Spray nodded politely, Shining Armor and Thorax suddenly ran past, closely followed by Starlight Glimmer. “Have either of you seen Captain Moonwhisper? No, okay then, we have to go. Bye!” With that, Starlight bolted after the other two before either Prince Rutherford or Admiral Sea Spray could respond further.
“I may be mistaken, but was that the guidance counselor from Princess Twilight’s school?” Sea Spray asked after a moment passed.
“Looked like. Yak wouldn’t worry too much; ponies can be very strange. Hippogriff should hear pony-style yovidaphone playing some time. Ponies very good at embracing joy of yovidaphone, but yak not so sure about ponies’ grasp of melody.
*********
“Okay, this is getting ridiculous,” Shining Armor said as the group circled back from the castle ballroom. “We’ve checked just about every room in the castle that’s open to the delegates, and a few that’re closed off for good measure. Unless they’re hiding in Princess Celestia’s bedroom than we should have run into them by now.” A look of terror suddenly spread across Shining Armor’s face. “You don’t think Pharynx would…?”
“Pharynx might have trouble with things like tact or friendliness, or knowing when not to threaten to stuff somecreature in a sack, but he wouldn’t do anything like poke around the princess’ private quarters,” Thorax assured Shining Armor who looked visible relieved.
“That’s the closest thing to good news I’ve heard today,” Shining Armor said.
“Alright, look, maybe we’re going about this the wrong way,” Starlight said. “We’re pretty sure that Pharynx has gone after Moonwhisper, right?” So, if we concentrate on finding Moonwhisper then we should find Pharynx as well.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s what we’ve been trying to do,” Shining Armor replied irritably.
“Honestly, so far we’ve mostly just been running around aimlessly in a blind panic. Not that I’m complaining, really, it’s pretty much what I was doing originally anyway,” Thorax said.
“Right,” Starlight said. “My point is, if we want to find Moonwhisper then we’re going to need to try and think like Moonwhisper. Now, imagine that you’re Moonwhisper for a moment.”
“Alright,” Shining Armor said as he closed his eyes. “So, I’m an antisocial super soldier who Twily’s inexplicably attracted to, to the point that they’re getting up to things I’m really not comfortable thinking about.” Shining Armor shook his head as he reopened his eyes. “Sorry I overheard Cadance gossiping with some of the castle maids about Twily and Moonwhisper’s relationship before I left and…let’s just say I really with I knew a spell to temporarily blind my mind’s eye.”
“That was more than I think we really needed to know,” Starlight replied. “Also, not really all that helpful to what we’re trying to do right now.”
“Maybe I should give it a try,” Thorax suggested before transforming himself into an exact copy of Moonwhisper with a flash of turquoise energy just as a pair of castle guards walked by. As soon as the guards caught sight of the shapeshifted changeling king they awkwardly came to attention and quickly saluted.
“Captain Moonwhisper, sir!” one of the guards managed to stammer out. “Sorry, I almost didn’t see you there. Um…pardon me for asking, but weren’t you just in the observatory?”
“I was?” Thorax asked.
“He was? I mean, he was. Good observation, men. Come on,” Shining Armor quickly said as he galloped off at top speed, Starlight and a still-transformed Thorax close behind. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before. Of course Moonwhisper would have made a beeline for the observatory, it’s the most secluded part of the castle that’s still technically open to visitors.”
“Well if it was so obvious than why wasn’t it the first place we tried looking?” Starlight asked.
“To be honest, I kind of forgot it existed,” Shining Armor admitted sheepishly. “The entrance to it is pretty far out of the way and not someplace the guard really patrols all that often.”
Starlight barely managed to withhold her response as the group rushed through the castle halls until finally coming to a stop in front of a set of double doors at the end of a largely deserted hallway. “Yeesh, I guess nopony ever does come down here, do they?”
“Not really, no,” Shining Armor replied. “Princess Celestia stopped using it around the time Princess Luna came back, and as for Princess Luna, she – wait, do you hear something?”
Just as Shining Armor spoke, the doors leading into the observatory swung open, smacking Shining Armor in the face in the process. “- and that’s when I broke his other back leg,” Moonwhisper said as he stepped into the hall, triggering a burst of laughter from his companion.
“Oh man, that’s seriously hilarious!” Pharynx said as he tried to catch his breath. “I should see if I can talk Thorax into letting me use some of those training methods for the hive’s defense teams. You wouldn’t believe how pathetic the changelings I have to work with are.”
“Pharynx, what have I told you about saying mean things about the recruits?” Thorax said almost reflexively.
“Thorax? What are you doing her? Shouldn’t you be meeting with all the other delegates and stuff?” Pharynx asked.
“I was,” Thorax replied. “But then you snuck off and I’ve been rushing all over the castle looking for you ever since.”
“Why, because you thought I’d pick a fight with one of the other delegates?” Pharynx accusatorily replied.
“To be fair, that’s essentially what you did the moment you saw me, so it wasn’t an unfounded concern on King Thorax’s part,” Moonwhisper said, much to Thorax’s horror.
“Hey, at least I didn’t say I was going to tear off your carapace, light it on fire and shove it back up your cloaca. That was a really good one, by the way. You mind if I use that on some of our fresh recruits?” Pharynx said.
“I’d be honored,” Moonwhisper said. “And given that when I made that threat you were in the process of carrying me off in a burlap sack, I’d say it was warranted on my part.”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t,” Pharynx replied before noticing the confused and horrified stares he was receiving from Thorax, Starlight and Shining Armor. “I was in charge of the team that grabbed Moonwhisper during Chrysalis’ plan to replace all the princesses. At first I was disappointed I wasn’t part of the teams sent after Celestia and Luna, but this guy…” Pharynx chuckled at the memory. “I had a half-dozen veteran warriors with me and we slapped a magical nullifier on him before he woke up and he still beat most of us so bad we were stuck in the infirmary for a week after. You know, if more ponies were like Moonwhisper here I think I’d get the whole ‘friends with ponies’ thing,” Pharynx added.
“Wait, hold on, are you saying that the two of you are friends now?” Starlight asked.
“Pretty much, yeah. Moonwhisper’s been giving me a lot of good advice on how to deal with the rest of the hive now that they’ve all turned into a bunch of sniveling weaklings.”
“As I mentioned earlier, the preferred term is ‘civilian’, and one area where the Equestrian guard’s training happens to excel is interreacting with the general population,” Moonwhisper said. “For Pharynx’s part, he’s offered some valuable critiques and advice regarding counter-infiltration methods.” Moonwhisper turned to Shining Armor. “You may want to speak with Pharynx as well when you can spare a few minutes. I suspect you could benefit somewhat from Pharynx’s assessment of the current state of the guards.”
With that, Moonwhisper and Pharynx turned and began walking down the hallway back towards the conference, leaving the others to stare at them in stunned silence. “Hey, on the bright side I guess this means this whole conference business was a success,” Thorax said hopefully.