//------------------------------//
// Bathed Alive, or Break out the Swear Jar 
// Story: Cryo-7 
// by Metal Pony Fan 
//------------------------------//

"Sir, was all that really necessary?"  Kathy sighed as she loaded another slide into her microscope.  She and Captain Nova were back on the Solomon's Ring, in one of the small histology labs, running tests on the samples they collected on the surface.  "There was no heartbeat, no brain activity-"

"And no decay," Nova finished for her.  He was pacing, scrolling through the results of a dozen different scans, dirt from the planet still clinging to his pants.  "No insect activity, no fungus, no spores, no abnormal bacterial growth, and no explanation!"  He dropped his pad on a table, and pointed at the clump of hair in the petri dish in front of him.  "There isn't even any discoloration!  He's been buried for years, but you drop him on any autopsy table in the galaxy, and the coroner would say he died when you set him down."

"I am perplexed by his condition as well," the insectoid admitted, "but half a dozen armed guards watching his body seems excessive."

"You didn't know him," Nova pointed out.  "If you did, you would ask me to double it.  In fact, I think I'll do just that."

"Sir?"  Kathy stepped away from her microscope.  "Do you believe he is still alive?  Or do you just hope he is?"

"K'tthia..."  Nova sighed.  "What are you saying?"

She mimed a shrug as well as she could.  "I have to ask, Captain.  Are you being objective here?  He was a friend of yours, but he was also a failure of yours.  You couldn't catch him fifty years ago, and from what you've told me, you couldn't save him seventy years ago."

"You're right, I couldn't catch him.  And I couldn't save him from his own choices.  What does that have to do with this?"

"I think you want to save him now."

Nova found a chair and sat down, falling into it like a heavy stone.  "You're right," he laughed, burying his face in his hands, "I would love to save my friend, but I am trying to stay rational.  He is dead.  Every scan and blood test we've done shows that, but he is frozen at the exact moment he passed.  He's taunting me.  He's telling me that if I had arrived one moment sooner, or one moment sooner than that, he might still be alive."

Kathy's shell went pale.  "Sir, did you just say frozen?"

Nova gasped as he lifted his head.  "Yes, Kathy, yes, I did.  He's frozen.  Just like the mare in the cryo-chamber."

"But, that's impossible!"  Kathy shouted as Nova ran past her and out of the small labaratory.





"Shots fired!  Shots fired!  Fall back!"

"I'm bleeding!"

"Anybody hit?"

"Negative!  But we lost the captain!"

"Get those doors back open, and get me eyes in there!  Bridge, this is Security team Tango, we have a hostage situation in the morgue!"





Smoke burned Captain Nova's sensitive nose as a small flame slowly melted the plastic cover of an autopsy table.  He was crouched behind it, facing a wall, ears ringing from an explosion.  Craters tracked across the wall, burned into the paint just above him, ending at a table once covered in supplies.  What remained of those supplies was scattered around him, some of it still aflame.

Alcohol and stunblasts don't mix well.

"Damn it, Grin!"  Captain Nova shouted.  "Even dead, you're an asshole!"

On the floor, on the other side of the table, a single pony, maybe in his fifties, lay gasping for air.  His dark blue fur was stained with dirt.  His back legs were twisted and useless as he pulled himself along the floor.  His one front hoof clutched a pistol, and the stump of his left leg tapped away at a fallen pad.  "Blame my childhood," he croaked, spitting out dirt, and blood from the security guard he bit.  "Where am I?  Who are you?  And why have I awoken alone?"

With a sigh, Nova slowly peeked over the table.  He couldn't hide forever, and he could bank on not being shot, at least, not right away.  "You are on board my ship, the Solomon's Ring, and I think you know who I am."

The old stallion squinted at the captain for a moment, then smiled.  "I never thought I would see you again, brother, not after what you did to me."  He dropped his pistol, and used both his hoof and stump to type into the pad, as fast as possible.

Nova vaulted over the autopsy table, knowing that no good could come of this pony having access to any sort of computer.  He scooped up another dropped pistol, checked that it was still on stun, and-

"Stay back!" Grin shouted, as the ship beneath shook.  "Drop the gun, or I will do something we'll both regret."

Nova glanced up as the lights flickered, keeping his weapon aimed.  "Grin, what was that?"

"Ask your men," he replied, gasping for air, "and tell them to stay back."  Grin coughed violently, splattering blood over his pad.  He didn't know what caused the shaking, but he was going to use it to his advantage, as he tapped away for dear life.  "They stay back," he wheezed in desperation, "or I do worse!  You know me, I've nothing to lose here, tell them that!"

Nova stared as his old friend started coughing again, lowering his weapon as the feared pirate, Grinparch Norland curled into a ball and spasmed, choking, and spitting up blood.  "You've fallen, my friend, give this up."

"No," he rasped.  "You know I won't surrender."  Another fit of coughing splattered his hoof with blood.  "Not to you, not to anypony!  Tell them!"

The captain slowly moved towards the door, quietly testing it, only to find it locked.  "Report," he called out, "what just happened?"

"Sir?" Answered one of the guards outside, "Are you alright in there?"

"I'm unharmed."  Nova moved his head away from the door as a glass thread push through the seam between its top and its frame.  A fiber optic camera.  A tactical team, and most likely their hostage negotiator, was already onsite.  It would make sense, their offices were only a few corridors away.  "What was that shaking?"

"The number one engine just detached, scheduled maintenance, I believe." answered another voice, much calmer.  That was Galena, ship's councilor, negotiator, and when the need arises, hostage rescue specialist.  "Sir, are you in any immediate danger?  Have there been any demands?"

Was it truly scheduled maintenance?  Or was Galena just providing a calm, probable excuse?  That was his job after all.  As captain, he should know if something as major as detaching an engine was scheduled, but in his haste to get down to the planet, he had forgone checking today's itinerary.  "Scheduled maintenance," the captain repeated quietly.  It was possible.  "No, no demands yet, just that we stay back."  Nova glanced back.  "Give him some breathing room."

"First demand," Grin growled quietly, "no more stupid jokes, or I drop another engine."

"How the hell, Grin?  You had that pad for seconds."

"You're a good friend, Hal," Grin smiled weakly, breathing labored, and slow, "that's how.  You kept that remote I gave you."

"Remote?  The tv remote?  The centuries old, infrared, tv remote?  That I had scanned and disassembled a dozen times by the best computer forensics teams on earth?  How the hell does that give you access to our computers?"

Outside the room, Galena tapped the nearest security guard on the shoulder.  "Captain's quarters, get that remote, and isolate it.  Possible wireless data intrusion device in play.  Jam on my signal, not before."

"Yes, sir."

As the guard ran off, the Golem negotiator looked up from the pad linked to the fiber-cam, and over at the other guards.  "Any of you know who's behind this?  Patient from the planet?  Or one of ours?"

"From the planet, but..."

"But, what?  Don't hold back on me, the captain could be at risk right now.  Anything you can tell me will help." 

"It's the body.  The dead body the captain brought back."

The golem stared at the guard a moment.   "A dead body attacked a guard, stole his weapon, and took the captain hostage?"

"It was a stallion, he was dug up on the surface, he was covered in dirt, and the captain was cutting samples off of him.  Monitor was a flatline.  He was as dead as dead gets, and then, he just grabs Ed, tears into his arm like we're in a zombie film."

"All right, thanks.  All of you, get clear.  One of you bring your injured man to sickbay alpha, the rest, make a perimeter, and clear out rooms above and below.  Let's keep anybody else from getting mixed up in this."

With nods, they scattered, leaving Galena and the tac-team in the hallway.   The negotiator scratched at one of the long, citrine yellow crystals jutting out and back from the side of his head.  "I need two people to head around the back of the room, check the camera, we have open wallspace on the starboard side, see if adding a door is feasible, if not, head for the room above, and be ready to add a skylight instead."

Half the tac-team nodded their understanding, then jogged off to follow their orders.

Galena nodded to the remaining team members. "Let's do this."  He took one deep breath, and called out, "Hello in there, my name is Galena, is everyone all right?"

"Galena?" Called out a voice, followed by coughing.  "Is that a golem name?  Or pony?"

"Golem," he answered.  "How about you?  I hear you're a pony.  Do you have a name you'd like to share?"

"A golem?"  Grin smiled.  He was sprawled on the floor, too weak even hold his head up.  "My friends call me Grin, and so should you."

"Glad to hear that, Grin."  Galena's voice was calm, and polite.  His words were measured and clear, respectful without being too friendly.  "What's going on in there?"

"I woke up, and I was surrounded by guys with guns," Grin told the Golem.  "I should ask you what's going on.  Where am I?"

One hand on his hip, Nova pinched the bridge of his nose.  "For fuck's Sake, Grin, do you think my crew is made of idiots?"

"It was worth a try," the stallion shot back.

"Grin, you seem to know the captain, he's a good man, got me this job back when nobody really trusted my race.  How do you know him?"

The captain sighed.  "Galena, you can stop.  I don't think a standard hostage negotiation is going to get us anywhere."

"Respectfully, sir, we have to try.  We'll get you out of there, but isn't it better if we all go home tonight?"

Grinparch started laughing as his body started to shiver.  "Yeah, but skip ahead to fun stuff!  Do the tactical assault, see how that goes!  Have procedures changed since I was around?"

"Not what I meant!"  Nova looked at the door.  "Galena, watch your fiber cam."

"Sir?  What are you talking about?"

"I know," the tall humanoid said in annoyance, "it's protocol to feign ignorance of all surveillance and recovery efforts.  Protocols aren't worth much right now."  He walked over to Norland, and kicked the pad away, earning only a weak kick to the shin in retaliation.  "Again, you're still an asshole."

Grin shrugged.  "You know me so well."

Nova held his weapon so Galena could see it through the camera.  "He's too weak to move.  The immediate threat is over."

Grin kicked him again, if only to prove him wrong.

The captain's only acknowledgement of the action was to step out of range, frowning.  "He needs medical attention."

"And the big metal box I was buried next to!"  Grin demanded.  "And an aircar, and two million bits in small, unmarked currency.  Crypto-cards are good too."  When Nova glanced down at him, the stallion shrugged.  "I'm going to pretend you're still my hostage."

"Humor is good," Galena said through the door.  He wasn't sure what was going on now, or who was holding who captive.  The captain had the weapon, but his behavior wasn't threatening towards his previous captor.  "This was all a big misunderstanding, right?  How about we get this door unlocked and talk about it?"

"Again, it's not that simple," Nova said as he walked to the door.  He stood directly in front of the fibercam, dead center on Galena's display.

"Sir, that's an awfully grim look on your face for somebody who's no longer a hostage."

The captain nodded once.  "This Stallion is Grinparch Norland, and, however brief, he has had access to our computers.  Until we know otherwise, everyone on this ship is a hostage.  Relay this to First Mate Kt'thia, she is in command now.  Alert level, Black."

"Well, this just got interesting."  Galena looked up from his pad, and over at the tac-team members awaiting his orders.  "You heard him.  Find the commander, and brief her on the situation.  Then round up the previous security team, get the guy who was bit treated with an em pulse, just in case he was tagged with a blood chip.  And, remember, Alert level black, that means we keep this under wraps.  Understood?  This gets out, and we'll have a panic on our hands.  Let's handle this quickly, quietly, and make sure everyone else involved understands that."

As they moved out to complete their orders, Galena turned back to the door.  "Grin, you've put me in a difficult situation here.  But, I want you to know, my first priority is going to be the safety of this ship, its crew, and its captain.  You understand?"

"Sure do," Norland took a deep wheezing breath, "You golems will stand up to anything to do what you feel is right, even your own king."

"I'm sorry," Nova interrupted, "but, what did you just say?"

"Ah, yes, well, it isn't exactly well known, sir," Galena explained, "but Grinparch Norland is the King of the Golems, has been for five hundred years.  He is the Finder.  The one who recognized us as an intelligent species amid the algal colonies and rocky shorelines of our homeworld.  He taught us to take on usable forms, gave us technology, and pushed us to interact with the rest of the galaxy."

Nova fixed the stallion on the floor with a disbelieving stare.  "Really?"

"No," Grin answered, as playfully as his hoarse voice allowed, "not yet, anyway."

The captain groaned loudly, grabbing his hair.  "You always said you would leave time travel alone, Grin!  Damn it!"  He started pacing in front of the door.  "Ok, so, at some point, you're going to travel back in time.  So, you knew you wouldn't die on the surface.  And you must be thinking you can get away now, because, if you are taken into custody, there is no way in hell you ever get to see another piece of technology again.  That means, you either escape, or I let you go, and one of those has already happened, so it will happen, and-"  Nova stopped, and looked over at his old friend.  "Damn it, you're an asshole!  Have I told you that?"

"Three times, today." Grin smiled.  "I'm glad you haven't changed.  That job with the perfume company was a waste of your talents.  You needed to be out in the galaxy, doing what I did, but, you know, for the good guys."

"You built the machine that replaced me," Nova suddenly realized.  "Holy crap.  You did, didn't you?  You asshole!"

"Four," Grinparch coughed.

"Impressive," Galena mused from the hallway.  "King Norland, I've known the captain for decades, and I've never heard him swear like this."

"You know," Captain Nova walked to the nearest autopsy table and sat down on it.  He was behind Norland, staring at the back of his head.  "I wonder what would happen if I shot you, here and now, just blasted a hole in your head."  Nova looked at his blaster.  "It would be a paradox if I succeeded.  Would I be able to, even?  Will the battery die?  Shows full.  But, does that even matter?  Maybe the universe intervenes to save you?  A capacitor failure, or the ceiling caves in on me at last moment?  Grin, do you think you're invincible?  You know you won't die, so that's why you've always been so stupidly reckless?"

"Invincible?"  Grin scoffed.  "I haven't moved my hind legs in over twenty years.  I lost my wings.  One of my hooves.  I lost my daughter!  You want to shoot me?  Maybe it just happens.  Maybe the finder was just some other pony with the same name.  I hold no delusions that I can't be killed, Hal, but you, of all people, know that I'm the type of pony who has to learn that the hard way."

Nova wrinkled his nose.  "Grin..."

The stallion sighed, warm puddle of urine slowly expanding beneath him, putting a damper on their previously heated conversation.  "Yeah, that happens sometimes.  Even before I died."

"Paraplegia stemming from an incomplete spinal injury in the lower thoracic vertebrae," Nova recalled from his scans.  "Treatment was attempted with a neural graft, and fusion of the damaged vertebrae, but my scans indicate that there was additional damage, most likely stemming from a delay between the initial injury and treatment.  Success would have been partial at best."

"Partial.  Good word for it.  I can feel my legs, I can feel the warmth of my own piss, right now.  But I can't move 'em.  I can't even keep from messing myself half the time."

"Left hoof is severed just above the wrist," Nova continued, "cut is clean, even through the bone, but no burning.  More likely a well-sharpened knife, than a vibra-blade or laser.  Uneven fur growth over twelve percent of your body, underlying skin damage, loss of cutie mark, seemingly caused by exposure to a caustic compound.  And all sorts of cuts, scars, and claw marks.  Grin, what happened to you?"

"Lots of stuff."  Norland looked up.  "Hal?  Where do you keep my feathers?"

He looked away, setting the blaster down, and resting his hands on the side of the table.  "What feathers?"

"From the ambush, when you grabbed me in that corridor.  I was almost to that escape pod, and there you were, waiting for me."

"And you still managed to get away," Nova reminded him.

"Barely," Grin closed his eyes.  "I set a fire between me and the pod, I told my own people I was heading for a different escape pod, and I had an operative running your ship's sensors for you.  But you... you still found me."

"I didn't know about the operative," Nova admitted.  "I just don't entirely trust sensors when you're involved.  Remember that time in the mines, when I broke my arm?  You faked a gas leak to give me time to recover."

"It's what you do for family," Grin said, pushing himself up on his one good hoof.  With a grunt, he twisted, falling back to the floor with a wet slap.  But he was facing Nova now, and that was all he was aiming for.  "Hal, I'm sorry.  We were family, but I abandoned you.  I turned my back on everything you ever offered me, and I've had a long time to think about that.  Thank you, for trying, for trying to find me an honest job, for trying to make me join the peacekeepers with you, for trying to talk me out of attacking the Taraxians, everything.  I've always regretted not being to tell you that."

"Damn it, Grin," Nova said quietly, "Why?  Why did it have to go this far?  When you went missing, everyone thought you must have been injured in the battle.  I saw you fly straight into that fire.  And then there was the incident at iella base, where somepony tried to collect your bingo book listing, using your hoof as proof.  It plunged the galaxy into war, Grin.  The Taraxian Raider Coalition formed again, and so did a dozen others just like it.  Iella is an illegal drug hub now, black-market cybernetics, mutated organisms, controlled substances, even organs.  Hell, even the number of independent raiders and criminals has shot through the roof, because each and every one thinks they could be the next you."

Nova took a shaky breath.  "And I've lived through all this in command of medical ships.  I've seen what's happening to these people, and... it isn't right.  It isn't even your fault.  I know you, better than any of them do, and when some punk, dying of radiation poisoning, is idiotically boasting that, hey, at least he killed a traitor, because it's what he thinks you would have done, I have to think that the galaxy was better off with you in it."

The captain sighed heavily, and stood up.  He looked down at Grin, whose eyes were misting over, and walked over to him.  For being the pony who caused him, and more importantly, the galaxy, so much pain, he was so small and powerless right now.  The great Grinparch Norland, laying in a pool of his own urine, unable to even crawl out of it.  This was who all those raiders want to be.

Nova was angry enough that he wanted to just kick him.  Maybe scream at him a list of every dead body attached to his name.  He was so disappointed at his own failure to prevent all this that he wanted to march out the door, resign, then maybe shove himself out an airlock.  But, he was happy, happy that his friend, his brother, was alive.  And, out of the entire galaxy, he was the one here to help.

He didn't kick Norland.  He didn't walk away.  Instead, he bent down, and picked him up.  "I keep your feathers in my desk."  He ignored the wet warmth, and the stench soaking into his clothes, and carried him to the door.  "Let's get you cleaned up, old friend."





Norland sipped a chalky tasting electrolyte solution from a cup.  The cup was held by a contraption made of bent wires, clipped to the side of the bathtub he was currently sitting in.  "I know they're iffy about leaving me alone, after what happened last time, but do there need to be this many ponies watching me get scrubbed like laundry?"

Nova, holding the pony upright in the tub, and performing said scrubbing, rolled his eyes.  After leaving the morgue, they found the nearest tub, in the surgical prep room adjacent to one of the Ring's many operating suites.  Which was just as well, the rattling breath, and bloody cough indicated that the stallion was suffering from an advanced case of the same Glycodexrin poisoning afflicting the rest of Sevus' population.

Four members of the tac-team, none of them actually ponies, watched as the captain, after removing his uniform jacket in favor of the undershirt, bathed Norland.  But, they were staying back, at Nova's request.  And Galena was waiting just outside, calling down the supplies for the new draining procedure.  It was a little more involved than the one performed countless times by the colt who discovered the poisoning, but he was working with scrounged and recycled materials, and his focus was on saving lives, and allowing recovery later.  The focus now was on a more complete treatment of both the symptoms and the cause.  There was a shot of chemical binder, to bind any free Glycodexrin and move it through the body's natural waste process.  Pink urine was an unavoidable side effect, but relatively minor, all things considered.  A nebulizer with more binder and a cocktail of targeted medications would then open the airways.  And, finally, delicate laproscopic instruments would allow a more thorough draining of fluid than the previous method.

The captain was scrubbing the dirt off Norland's back as the pony sat half submerged.  He had scars and ports on his back where odd wires had connected him to the battery of his hover chair.  But, there was nothing under his skin for them to attach to, no implants, or artifical organs.  They seemed useless and sealed, but Nova wasn't going to take risks.  He had already changed the water twice.  Once because Norland peed again, almost as soon as he was set in the warm water, and once because he immediately vomited after trying to eat a ration bar.  And, if the water was contaminated again, it would be changed again, as many times as necessary.

"Thanks for not tossing me into a decontamination shower," Grin said as Nova lifted his hoof to scrub underneath with a rag.

"I considered it," Nova replied.  "It would have been easier to just let the computer wash you, but I doubt two dozen jets of pressurized water would do you any favors in your condition."

"You know, Hal, I could probably get any pony in the galaxy to wipe my ass for me if I agreed to tell them half of what I know.  Probably even less."

"Good for you," Nova muttered, "must make me some kind of shmuck, sitting here doing it for free."

"No, Hal, exactly the opposite.  Only one other pony in the galaxy did for me what you're doing now."

Nova stopped, and leaned Norland back into a support brace.  He buckled him into a soft strap to keep him from sliding down into the water.  "The pony in the cryo-chamber?"

Grin nodded.  "My wife, Pinkie, back when I first got hurt, if you'll pardon the horrible, unintentional pun.  She's nice like that, do anything for anypony, and never think about her own return on investment."  He stared at his reflection in the water.  "She's an ancient, you know?  She had powers.  Telesthesia, and some sort of extradimensional ability I don't know how to explain."

Nova folded his arms, and leaned against the edge of the tub.  "She looks a lot like another pony I met recently, a young mare by the name of Berry."

Grin smiled as his eyes screwed shut, happiness and heartwrenching pain fighting over the rights to his expression.  "My grand-daughter.  She made it?  How is she?  How long has it been?  When I had to seal Pinkie back in her chamber, she...  Berry and I were alone.  I tried to prepare her for life without me, but..."

"You did well, from what I saw.  She is in her twenties, travelling with friends now.  They rescued a shipwrecked pony from Picus IV, and stayed with us for a day or so right after.  She seemed quite happy, from what I saw.  She even shares your aptitude for computers, installed and calibrated a sensor panel in seconds when it should have taken several minutes.  Though, I am told she does not hold the same level of skill in crafting."

Tears dropped into the bathwater as Norland tried not to cry.  "Hal, if I'm to be locked away, I need you to take care of her and Pinkie.  I don't know if I sealed Pinkie away in time to save her, but either way, you're the only person I would trust her to."  The stallion wiped his face with his wet hoof.  He could barely move it.  "And, Berry, Hal..."  Grin grabbed the captain's arm, splashing him as he pulled.  And Nova leaned in as he whispered, "Hal, I completed Gossamer.  Everypony thought it was destroyed during that last battle, but I had it with me, even when you and I fought.  Berry has it now, but it's not a weapon anymore, it never was."

"Then, it might be better if everyone continues to believe it destroyed."  Nova put his hand on Norland's shoulder.  "Grin, you have my word that I will do everything in my power to help your wife and grand-daughter, but, I have to ask, given you and your wife's situations, what happened to your daughter?  Is there any chance she-"

"No, she died," Norland said quickly, wanting to get the words out and over with, "in front of me, giving birth to Berry.  Some sort of complication from labor."

"We didn't find a body.  She wasn't buried with you?"

"She was taken from us!" Norland hit the side of the tub, scaring the tac-team into raising their weapons.

Nova pointed his finger at them as Norland coughed up blood and mucous into his bathwater.  "If those go up one more time, I'm kicking you out of here."  He turned his attention back to his friend, and unclasped him from the support so he could pick him up.  Lifting the stallion drenched the captain, but he didn't care.  "That's enough washing for now, we can finish up after you're breathing again."

"I'm sorry."  Grinparch leaned his head against the captain, crying, struggling to breath.  "She was taken," he repeated quietly, "by Berry's father.  He stole her body out of her bed, leaving Berry on the floor.  I don't even know how he got in our house."

"I'm sorry," Nova said quietly as he carried Norland into the other room and set him on the operating table.  Galena joined them at the bedside.

Grin grabbed the captain's arm before he could move away, but quickly lost his grip.  "She was only fifteen."

"No parent should have to go through that," Galena sympathized, "but, I'm afraid I will have ask you a few questions."

The captain straightened up.  "What's going on?'

"Analysis of the pad, from the morgue," the Golem explained, "they found something."

"What is it?"

Norland let himself relax into the operating table's cushioned surface.  He didn't think he finished in time, but it looked like he was wrong.  He was safe now, and back in control of the situation.  But, he found no joy in this situation.  "I'm sorry, Hal, but they probably found the timer."