Soarin grumbled under his breath, he couldn’t believe his luck. He’d been given one of the least desirable jobs at the academy during trials week, overseeing the new cadets during their initial training which included the newbie tester known as the Dizzitron. Spitfire would’ve done it herself but she was still sorting out some important paperwork in the aftermath of the Wonderbolts having performed at Twilight’s coronation as supreme ruler.
“Why do I have to do it, Captain?” Soarin had complained in Spitfire’s office the day before trials were slated to begin. “You know I’m more of a fun in the sun kind of guy. And there’s nothing fun about watching the newcomers get put through the wringer. It’s even less fun having to tell them what should be obvious, if they were really the best of the best they’d already be on the team. The whole reason they go through the trials is because we have to determine if the cadets can truly keep up with everything that they’ll have to endure as part of the team.”
Spitfire barely even bothered to adjust her glasses as she leaned back in her desk chair. “Soarin, you know the chain of command is quite clear. As second in command of the Wonderbolts, when the captain is unavailable it’s expected of you to step in for me. You’ve done it before and performed admirably.”
“That was different! There was a crisis, and in your absence somepony had to take command to ensure order!” Soarin protested. “I could never be the kind of tough as nails, work you till you drop kind of drill sergeant you are.”
“Who says you have to be?” The young captain questioned in a seemingly unconcerned tone of voice. “Just make sure they keep their egos in check and aren’t taking any unnecessary risks. We don’t wanna risk another Lightning Dust incident!”
Soarin still wasn’t convinced. “But Spitfire-”
Spitfire was quick to cut him off. “No buts, Soarin! You’re gonna oversee trials week in my place, and that’s final! If you’re really that worried you’re gonna mess it up, I’ll have Rainbow Dash come check up on you. But I’m giving her orders not to relieve you of your duties. I know you’ll do fine.”
So it was that the Wonderbolts’ second in command had been given a task he really didn’t feel he was up to. But orders were orders and the stallion wasn’t one to just disobey them. Spitfire knew him better than anypony, seeing as the two were childhood friends and all. So maybe she saw something in him that he didn’t.
That’s not to say Soarin came to enjoy trials week, because to him it was still a chore. He did enjoy giving a demonstration of the Dizzitron, it was one of the few truly enjoyable aspects of the tryouts.
Unfortunately for Soarin, it seemed like not many of the current batch of recruits were doing a good (or even decent) job with the contraption. He didn’t expect any of them to go beyond the basic level, Lightning Dust had been the only cadet in the entire history of the Wonderbolts to attempt such a thing right off the bat. But even the basic level seemed to be more than any of the recruits could handle. Every single one of them spun out into the safety net, which made him groan. “Okay, recruits!” He tried to bark out as best he could. “Change of plans! Seeing as all of you clearly need a refresher course, I’m going to demonstrate to all of you what you’re supposed to do on the Dizzitron. To keep things fair, I’ll be on the same level as all of you,” And as the cadets all lined up to watch he added. “Be sure to pay close attention. I’m only going to do this once, then I want all of you to try again! And we’re gonna keep at it until at least half of you can successfully land on the runway without crashing.” He did his best to ignore the groans and moans from the cadets.
“And to think they haven’t even gotten to the really hard stuff yet,” He thought with a rare grin on his face. “Hope they can step up their game for their sake.”
The co-captain strapped himself in and gestured for the Dizzitron to be activated. He was so used to flying at higher speeds and against higher g-forces that he didn’t bother to wear his flight goggles. That would soon prove to be a big mistake.
The Dizzitron started to spin, and Soarin pretended to shut his eyes tightly as he was spun around and around. He opened them once he was certain he’d been launched, and with the greatest of ease he pulled out of the spin and landed back on the runway in a matter of seconds. But no sooner had he gotten his bearings than did he look over at the Dizzitron, which was still spinning. Suddenly, his eyes were spinning too. He felt dazed and lightheaded, and his mind began to feel all funny.
“I can’t believe he got punked by the Dizzitron so easily. What a foal!” A cadet whispered. “Only a two year old would make such a mistake.” Unknowingly, that remark was close enough for Soarin to overhear. And in his current state the stallion wasn’t able to snap back at it. Instead, it burrowed its way deep into his subconscious and embedded itself there.
Pretty soon, instead of the mighty, confident second-in-command of the Wonderbolts, before all the recruits stood a pony who basically looked like a big foal. He was a drooling, babbling mess. He plopped onto his rump and put a hoof into his mouth, soon suckling on it. What little he managed to say was uninterpretable, incoherent gibberish. There was worse to come.
As luck (or misfortune depending on how one were to interpret the scene) would have it, Rainbow Dash was flying by to see how Soarin was doing. To see her fellow Wonderbolt and one of her superiors in such a foalish state was quite shocking to say the least! If not for the academy jacket, she would’ve sworn that she was looking at an entirely different pony. How he’d been reduced to such an infantile presence was a mystery. One that quickly took a back seat to a more pressing issue. For right underneath the stallion was a puddle. And as there were no rain clouds anywhere nearby, that could only mean one thing. Rainbow Dash did her best not to groan as she swooped down to do damage control for this situation. “All right, newbies, listen up!” She yelled. “Your training’s gonna have to wait for a while! Until your new instructor gets here, I want you all to fly laps around the academy and practice changing altitudes with each lap! Do I make myself clear?”
The recruits all nodded and quickly flew away, terrified by the sharp tone of voice that had barked out the order! “Works every time.” Rainbow Dash thought to herself, before turning her attention back to Soarin. Then a sigh of frustration escaped her lips. “Looks like the Dizzitron claimed another victim. She said to herself. “What will Spitfire say when she finds out what happened to Soarin?” She found out soon enough.
“Really?” Spitfire asked. “Soarin somehow managed to hypnotize himself through the Dizzitron?” She was quite furious when she heard the news (though she was grateful that Rainbow Dash had taken the time to get Soarin cleaned up, and made a mental note to dispatch a cleaning crew to the runway).
Rainbow Dash reluctantly nodded. “Yeah, and now he thinks he’s a foal. Figuring that it was better than risking him leaving puddles everywhere, I decided to diaper him in case he had another accident.” She gestured to the thick, well taped diaper now strapped around her fellow Wonderbolt’s rear. Soarin was poking at the diaper, distracting him from sucking on his hoof.
The young captain just sighed as she looked into the brash speedster’s eyes. “Do you know how old he thinks he is?”
Rainbow Dash gulped hard. “I… don’t know exactly. I thought I heard him say something about being two or whatever. And he seemed rather upset about having that accident on the runway. I tried to ask, but he wouldn’t give me a proper answer,” And she added with a blush. “And he kept calling me ‘Mama’ all the time, it was really embarrassing.”
“How very interesting.” Spitfire commented as she put a hoof to her chin.
Those little statements might not have meant much on their own, but the captain who prided herself on effective crisis management had learned from experience how even the smallest of clues could lead to a major breakthrough. “So, is there anypony watching the recruits right now?” She then asked.
Rainbow Dash gave a rather clumsy salute. “Thunderlane was the first pony I could find, so I put him in charge.” She explained. “That’s okay, right? I know it’s outside the usual chain of command but I didn’t know where I could find Fleetfoot or Misty Fly. And with Soarin the way he was I wanted to minimize the chances of more ponies seeing him like this. Oh and also, I suggest that we should start warning every Wonderbolt to wear their flight goggles whenever they test out the dizzitron so something like this doesn’t happen again.”
Spitfire nodded as she rose from her desk chair. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash.” She said with an unusual smile forming on her face. “Thunderlane should be more than capable of filling in for Soarin, who was supposed to be filling in for me.”
At that, Rainbow Dash blinked in surprise. This sort of declaration from her captain was most odd. “Uh, I’m confused. From the way you’re acting, you sound as if you already know how to turn Soarin back.”
The pegasus with a coat of brilliant gold nodded her head, her smile now becoming unmistakable. “Let’s just say that this isn’t the first time this sort of thing happened at the academy,” And she motioned for her fellow pegasus to follow her. “Come along, and bring Soarin with you. It’s obvious he’s become quite attached to you in his current mental state.”
Realizing that Spitfire had an idea, Rainbow Dash reluctantly obeyed, knowing better than to question an order from her superior. “O-okay. Where are we going?” She asked with a confused look on her face.
“The academy bathrooms!” Spitfire boldly and somewhat dramatically declared. “Trust me, it’ll all make sense eventually.”
It took quite a bit of effort, but after convincing Soarin that he could have an apple pie as a special treat, Rainbow Dash was able to get him to follow her as she was in turn following Spitfire. “Why would we be going to the bathrooms?” She pondered to herself as she led her foalified teammate through the academy halls, trying her best to keep an eye out for anypony who might recognize Soarin. “I already diapered Soarin. And we have a separate area for showering. So the only things in the bathrooms are mirrors, sinks and… toilets!” Suddenly, it hit her! “Wait, is Spitfire’s solution what I think it is?”
She needn’t have wondered, because once Spitfire had led Rainbow Dash and Soarin into the academy bathrooms, they all went into one of the toilet stalls. It was a bit cramped for three fully grown pegasi, but somehow they managed. It was then that the Wonderbolts’ captain revealed her plan to get the second in command back to his normal, adult self. A plan that at least to her was more simple than it might first appear. “Okay, Rainbow Dash,” She told her fellow mare. “It looks like I wasn’t kidding when I said Soarin seemed quite attached to you. And since he really thinks that you’re his mommy, you will have to teach him. Then he will be back on his hooves in no time.”
“You mean, I’m actually going to treat him like a potty training toddler?” Rainbow Dash blinked in surprise. “But, why?”
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly the best with foals.” Spitfire explained. “And while Soarin isn’t a typical foal I still don’t think tough love is the kind of approach we should be going for. All I really need you to do is take off his diaper and get him to listen to you. Think you can do that?”
Rainbow Dash fought back another gulp. “I… think I can do that, Captain,” She said nervously. If Spitfire thought she was good enough to play in a role in this, who was she to argue? “I don’t really have that much experience with foal care or any foals for that matter, except for my number one fan, Scootaloo. I also remember very little about my own potty training.”
Spitfire facehoofed herself. “Oh yeah, almost forgot about that,” She commented. “Maybe we should do this together, just like a team.”
Rainbow nodded in agreement. “You sure this will work, though?”
Spitfire snorted in response. “If I wasn’t sure, would I have bothered to go to all this trouble? The last time this happened, and I’m not naming names, this is what was required to get the victim to snap out of it. Now come on! Let’s get the training underway so that Soarin can go back to being normal. We are not running a daycare center around here!”
That was enough to convince Rainbow Dash to comply with Spitfire’s request. “Alrighty,” She grumbled. “Let's just get this over with!” Her superior sure knew how to sound both scary and bossy whenever the situation called for it. “Hey, Soarin.” She called in the sweetest tone possible.
Soarin was gazing at the toilet with an odd mix of confusion, excitement and most of all worry. “What, Mommy?” He asked, turning to Rainbow Dash upon hearing her voice and nuzzling her in the side.
“Mommy needs you to listen to her, and to Aunty Spitfire.” Rainbow Dash said as she tried her best to keep up the act. “We are going to teach you about how to use the potty.”
“Who Aunty Spitfire?” Soarin asked as he looked all around, not appearing to recognize anypony in his current state. “And what potty? Potty mean I no need diaper?”
Rainbow nodded. “Yeah, because you’re gonna be a big colt. And Aunty Spitfire is right over there,” She pointed to the pegasus with a gold coat. “So once I take off your diaper, just pay attention and do exactly as we tell you, okay?” Soarin nodded back. He didn’t put up a fight when his diaper was removed and set aside.
Spitfire cleared her throat and then gestured a hoof to the toilet. “Okay, Soarin. You see that? That’s the potty.”
“It is?” Soarin blinked in surprise, sounding like a foal who was seeing this mighty porcelain throne for the first time.
With a most unusual smile on her face, Spitfire quickly replied. “Yup. So I want to sit down on the seat, and then just do whatever you have to do. When you’re all done, you let your mommy and I know and we’ll get you all cleaned up.”
The stallion obeyed as he somewhat clumsily waddled over toward the toilet. But as he drew closer, he stopped and hesitated. “But what if potty try to eat me?”
Spitfire groaned as Rainbow Dash quickly took charge. “Don’t worry. It won’t eat you or harm you, I promise. If it tries to do anything, I’ll be here to stop it! Now go ahead, you’re so close. And you wanna be a big pony like Mommy, don’t you?”
“Yeah, wanna be big pony!” Soarin proudly declared, eagerly resuming his waddle. He quickly plopped his rump right down on the toilet seat. Once he was comfortable, he started to relax. He didn’t seem bothered by the idea of having his ‘Mommy’ and his ‘Aunty Spitfire’ watch over him. As soon as he heard a tinkling sound echo into the bowl, he signed in relief.
It was all over in a matter of seconds. “I done!” Soarin announced. He really did sound like a toddler who was expecting praise for his actions. Praise that he was soon rewarded with as both of the grown-up pegasi watching over him came trotting forward, his “Mommy” helping him up.
“Way to go, Soarin! That’s how it’s done!” Rainbow Dash congratulated him. But then she turned to “Aunty Spitfire” and commented. “What are we gonna do? He hasn’t turned back yet.”
“Just be patient,” Spitfire said in a not so hushed tone. “And don’t flush until I tell you to! Got it?”! Rainbow Dash nodded her head as the gold coated pegasus spoke to Soarin. “Not bad, kid. See how easy that was?”
Soarin nodded and grinned. “Yeah! Potty easy! Now I big colt!”
“Well, big colt,” The Wonderbolt captain told the big foal as she pulled out several rolls of toilet paper. She didn’t even need to use that much. “You gotta let us wipe you up after you go. Just hold still and Aunty Spitfire will get you all nice and clean.” As soon as the wiping job was complete, the used toilet paper rolls were discarded into the bowl.
“And now for the most important and totally awesome part!” The brash speedster declared with a huge grin on her face. “Mommy will show you how to flush.” Then she placed a hoof on the silver handle.
“Wait for it,” Spitfire whispered. As soon as Soarin was staring down into the toilet bowl, specifically the waters within it, she gave the signal. “NOW!” She demanded. Almost immediately, Rainbow promptly pressed down on the silver handle.
As the toilet started to flush, Soarin’s eyes remained fixated inside the bowl, watching the toilet paper spinning around and around with the rapidly swirling water before being sucked down the drain. By the time the water had turned into a whirlpool, he appeared to be in a trance again.
After watching all of the water swirl down the drain and disappear, the stallion suddenly blinked and shook his head. “Huh? Where am I? How did I end up in the bathroom?” He lifted his head and saw Spitfire and Rainbow Dash standing in the toilet stall with him, feeling quite embarrassed. “Spitfire? Rainbow Dash? What’s going on here?” He asked them.
“Great, you’re back!” Spitfire said with a smile, sounding rather excited at the prospect!
“Back? Back from where?” Soarin questioned before his eyes happened to spot the discarded diaper on the floor. A diaper that was clearly intended for a pony his size. “Hey, wait a minute! The last thing I can remember is seeing the Dizzitron spinning, and then the next thing I knew I was here!”
“You know that ‘incident’ from before Rainbow Dash joined our ranks?” Spitfire asked her childhood friend.
Soarin gasped in realization! “Oh-no!” He groaned. “Don’t tell me that it happened again!”
Blushing hard, Rainbow Dash nodded. “I’m afraid so,” She confessed. “It was you who got hypnotized and regressed.”
“Lucky for us the cure was the same both times.” The young captain added.
“Couldn’t you have just turned me back without the whole potty training roleplay?” The stallion asked with a blush on his face.
“Hey, you did it to me,” Spitfire retorted. “I figured I had to do the same thing you did with me if I wanted it to work.”
But Soarin commented. “Why? From the sound of things it doesn’t seem like I was anywhere near as bad when I regressed as you were,” He appeared to be only slightly teasing. “Besides, if you went through all of this just to change me back, I think you’re not as bad with foals as you think.”
The young captain snorted in reply. “Maybe, but I’m not looking to start changing diapers anytime soon.”
“Same here,” Rainbow Dash agreed, picking up the diaper and opening the stall door. “There’s no way that we’re running a daycare around here. That would be even more embarrassing than what I did to help change you back to normal.”
“Who has been watching the recruits?” Soarin asked as the three Wonderbolts exited the toilet stall.
“I asked Thunderlane to take over since I didn’t know where I could find Fleetfoot or Misty Fly,” Rainbow confessed as she tossed the diaper into a nearby garbage can, and then both she and Soarin went over to the sinks to wash their hooves. “I also suggested that we should start warning the recruits to always wear their flight goggles whenever they’re testing the Dizzitron. I don’t want anypony else going through the same thing you've been through.”
Spitfire nodded as her two teammates dried their hooves off. “After she told me what happened to you, I can’t really blame her for wanting to prevent this from happening to anypony else.”
“Speaking of recruits,” Rainbow looked to Soarin. “We should be getting back to work!” Soarin nodded in agreement.
But before he and Rainbow Dash could leave, Spitfire cleared her throat to get their attention. “I want the both of you to work to oversee trials,” She ordered. “Dash, if you hear any of the recruits teasing Soarin about the incident, tell them to stop making fun of him or they’ll be flying laps! Soarin, make sure that Dash is following all of the commands you give her. And tell Thunderlane that he can return to whatever he was doing at the time before all of this. You two got that?”
“Yes ma’am!” They both answered and saluted the young captain. Once they were all out of the bathroom, Rainbow Dash and Soarin flew off to find Thunderlane and the recruits to tell them the news, while Spitfire went back to her office to finally dispatch a cleaning crew over to the runway to clean up Soarin’s accident.