//------------------------------// // Chapter 4 // Story: Help Equestria // by MLG Hard //------------------------------// Chapter 4 Pinkie Pie grabbed her 420.69 tonne sledge hammer and walked into her orphanage, she promptly smashed the everyone into a fine pulp, which she offered to Mao Zedong. Mao Zedong drank it all, which caused the fandom to start shipping him and Pinkie Pie in what they called Pinkie Dong. Then an oil leak happened, making shipping fuel go everywhere, Erwin Rommel took full advantage of it and used it to fuel Ghost Division, since Himmler apparently didn’t have any regular fuel left, Erwin yeeted his division into Paris, so the French did what they did best, they surrendered. Princess Celestia was proud so she got her sister to host another great Molest Fest. So Discord went on discord, where he started counting to a very thicc number. Then China finally recovered from Corona time, so Coronavirus 2 electric boogaloo yeeted everyone with help from Bernie Sanders, the communist dictator. A Messerschmitt ME 163 Komet flew into a doorknob which Queen Chrysalis was planning on walking through, she did a 420 degree spin and walked into a wall, she did another 420 degree spin and walked away.      “Okay, hoomer.” Said Homer SIMPson. Then democracy admitted it was a mistake so Communism, Socialism, Fascism, Nationalism, Anarchy, Anarcho-fascism, Anarcho-communism, Anarcho-monarchism, Monarchism… I give up, there’s way too many ideologies.     “Also contrary to the belief of the reviews this story was not made for the purpose of trolling, but for twisted comedy and the simple fact that I legitimately enjoy writing this.” Said a connoisseur of memelicious content. I then fell asleep and somehow twisted my ankle, and fell in a hole that turned out to be a gateway to Allah, who told me to play roblox rise of nations, play Egypt and establish the Islamic Caliphate. This caused a katyusha rocket to teleport behind Chad (both the country and the person) and ask Obama to do a black flip.      “Y̴̡̛͙̔͐̑͋̽̂͋̀͐͠O̵̻̠͂̆͂̾̾̆͂̇͒̓͝Ų̷̞͙͖͖̼̥̯̪͓̼̪̬̗͚̈͛͗̎̽̿̓̈́̑̑̀̈̑́̚͝ͅ ̸̢̢̻͉̭̝̰̽̏̑̔̈͊̎̑̅R̷̛̝͉̣̥͆̀̌̒̂̂̅̇̔Ȩ̷̡̘̦͓̬͓̰̖̲͙̦̐ͅQ̷̟͚̻͖̹̹̗̖̩̱͚̾̀̒̎͋͗͑̀͜͜U̴̧̡̲͙̼͆̋̌̄͐̒ͅͅI̶̡̛͉͓̰̱͚̮̦͇͒̽͋͑̄̌̈̾̆̌̊͝͝ͅŔ̵͈̘͕̰̻̹͍̟̍̀̈́̐̉̈́̓̽͒̍͠ͅĘ̸̮̦̞̺̗̱͉͈̪̎̾̅͐͆̾͂̾͑̅͘ ̸̝̒̄͆̾M̵̡̧̛͓͚͚͎̩̋O̵̡̧̜̰͍͉͚͍̪̗̽̔͆̇́̀̒̌̓͂̄R̵̛̭̻̲͖̤͍̽̔̂̑́̽͒̉́̾͊̐̕̚Ẻ̶̔̏̓̅̐̎̓͒͋͂͗̆͝ͅ ̵̺̭͇̬͚̫̩͓̯͖͔̎́̃̂̚M̵̡̢̬̭̘̫̣̩̖͍̦͑̈I̷̬̫̔͗͊̀̇̑̏̀̀̓̕Ņ̸̧͕͉͔̯̼̞͈̗͔͚̩̟͂̊̎̽͂͒̈̒̚̚̕̚͠ͅḘ̶̢̫̟̞̱̭͚̩̣̀̌̏͗̿̈̃͒̅̍̄̕̕̚͝Ŗ̴͙̺̥̝̮͕̩̔̀̉̕A̶̤̎̿̉̉̈́̈́̾̉͊̊L̵̜̎̒̿̎̑̅̈́̿̐̈̊̔̎͝͝S̸̛̗̹̖̥̪̼̏̊̄͊̔̅̈́̅̕͝.” Said starcraft 2, even though I HAD MORE THAN DOUBLE THE AMOUNT OF MINERALS I NEEDED TO CONSTRUCT A CARRIER DAMN IT! I would like to apologise if you struggled reading those lines. So Alabama poked Starlight until she sang a song. Three months of Siberia coolness And awesome industry We've kept our tanks warm at home Time off from play to work But the food is always running out And we can't grow in this cold And even though I love repelling the Nazis This fashion's getting old The time has come to welcome the spring offensive And all things war-related But it's also time to say goodbye It's German blood we must clean How can I help? I'm new, you see What does everysoviet do? How do I fit in without war crimes? I haven't got a clue! Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin! Let's finish off those fucking Nazis Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin! 'Cause tomorrow the Eastern bloc– –Is here! 'Cause tomorrow the Eastern bloc is here! Bringing home the Siberian troops A Trans-Siberian rail’ job begins And clearing all the German occupied lands To let the Red army in We move the Panzers And we melt the German troops When the Divisions push forwards Their strength and power will show! Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin! Let's finish off those fucking Nazis Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin! 'Cause tomorrow the Eastern bloc is here Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin! 'Cause tomorrow the Eastern-bloc is here 'Cause tomorrow the Eastern-bloc is here! Little Germans corpses Under the snow and ice We stomp on their heads So brutally and efficient We push into Europe Burn their homes above We welcome back the Siberian troops So the Red Army can grow! Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin!  Let's finish off those fucking Nazis Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin!  'Cause tomorrow the Eastern-bloc is here Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin!  'Cause tomorrow the Eastern-bloc is here 'Cause tomorrow the Eastern-bloc is here! No easy task to clear the strongholds Plant our tiny bombs With proper care and air superiority Everyone it kills Incendiary, high-explosive armour-piercing too We must advance so very hard It's just so much to kill! Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin! Let's finish off those fucking Nazis Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin! 'Cause tomorrow the Eastern-bloc is here Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin! 'Cause tomorrow the Eastern-bloc is here 'Cause tomorrow the Eastern-bloc is here! Now that I know what we all do I have to find my place in the army And help with all of my strength Tough task ahead I face How will I help without my war crimes Help the Russian way I wanna belong so I must Do my best this campaign, Do my best this campaign! Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin! Let's finish off those fucking Nazis Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin! 'Cause tomorrow the Eastern-bloc is here Seize Berlin! Seize Berlin! 'Cause tomorrow the Eastern-bloc is here 'Cause tomorrow the Eastern-bloc is here 'Cause tomorrow the Eastern-bloc is here! Starlight sang it with such melody and talent that we ignored her small history as a war criminal.