//------------------------------// // 173. Back To Normal // Story: Azure Edge // by Leaf Blade //------------------------------// “So. You never actually talked to Twilight, huh?” Pinkie Pie’s words cut Rarity’s ego like an executioner’s blade as the two departed from the inn lobby and made their way through the pleasantly calm streets of Green Neigh— a delightful little meadow town at the foot of the Crystal Mountains, known for its evergreen meadows even in the dead of winter— headed to the train station for an important errand. “Well, er, yes, I mean no, the thing about that is—” Rarity stuttered and desperately tried to fish for an excuse, but the truth was she simply got cold hooves and had already been feeling quite guilty about it in the week that passed since the party left Bitsburgh; she hardly needed Pinkie Pie rubbing lemon juice into her wounds. “Hm, well in that case,” Pinkie hummed thoughtfully, “I totally understand everything now. Thanks for clearing that up, Rarity!” Rarity hung her head and groaned. It’s not that she didn’t deserve this grilling from Pinkie Pie, but it still felt bad! “I’ll talk to her once we return from Canterlot,” Rarity held her head up high and declared proudly, “I promise.” “Well, you’d better!” Pinkie pointed an accusatory finger at Rarity. “Now that you and Fluttershy are BFFs, I feel so bad for Twilight! She’s being left out!” “I know, darling. I know,” Rarity sighed and anxiously rubbed the back of her neck, cheeks heating up and for once she didn’t have any lesbian feelings to blame it on. “And I have no excuses either. I should have talked with Twilight long before now, but I—” Rarity held her head in her hands and groaned furiously, stomping her hoof on the grass like a baby throwing a tantrum. “Can I be completely, embarrassingly, honest?” Rarity asked Pinkie, head down in shame. “Of course,” Pinkie responded sweetly, no hint of irony or judgement in her voice. Rarity always appreciated that about Pinkie Pie. “The truth is—” Rarity whined and grumbled under her breath and tried to squash the unbearably, embarrassingly honest words she wanted to speak before they could escape her lips, but she was a damn adult and she needed to start acting like one. “The truth is, I want nothing more than to apologize to her. To beg for her forgiveness if that’s what it takes, and even to confess my feelings to her, that I never stopped pining for her even during my bitterness and anger, no matter how desperately I tried to convince myself otherwise.” “Well if that’s how you feel,” Pinkie said, “maybe you should, I dunno, just do that.” “Eh, w— uhhhh,” Rarity blushed and puffed up her cheeks. “Well it’s not that easy!” “Why not?” Pinkie asked drolly, her smug smirk only getting more powerful with the seconds that passed of Rarity being unable to answer. “I wanted to wait for the Gala,” Rarity said ashamedly. “I know it’s probably just me being a big drama queen, but I had this whole thing planned out where I dramatically confessed and apologized to Twilight in the gardens outside the palace as the moonlight showered us in its gentle glow.” “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Pinkie pondered. “Bringing Twilight to the Sun District in Canterlot, I mean.” “I’m not sure,” Rarity said. “Which is why this detour to Canterlot we’re taking is so perfectly timed. I know Celestia won’t be making an appearance at the Gala this year, so we don’t have to worry about her. That just leaves one other alicorn to be concerned with, and I’ve been itching to speak with her in regards to Twilight for quite some time.” “And even more importantly than that!” Pinkie beamed and her eyes sparkled like a starlit sky. “You get to meet my mom! I’m super duper excited about that, and for her!” “Because she’s going to get to meet me?” Rarity said proudly, but then giggled into her hand. “OR because she’s going to be attending the Gala herself with her mysterious rich girlfriend?” “Both! Duh!” Pinkie scoffed, and that gave Rarity a good laugh. Truth be told, she was glad that she was going to be with Pinkie Pie for this errand. Nopony was quite so good as making you forget your troubles as she was. The train station of Green Neigh was much like the rest of the small town; very pleasant. It was completely open to the crisp afternoon air, and surrounded by miles of lush grass, a simple wooden platform being all that comprised the station itself. Four women and a young boy were the only people waiting at the station, but they were all eager to see off Rarity and Pinkie Pie before their little adventure to Canterlot. Even Twilight Sparkle was there, which was impossible to ignore despite Rarity’s desire to do just that. Though of the four women, the one who Rarity’s gaze was laser focused on was Fluttershy. Even as Rainbow and Spike came by Rarity to say their goodbyes and good lucks, and she exchanged pleasant banter with the two, her eyes remained fixed on Fluttershy as she kissed Pinkie goodbye and exchanged an awkward handshake with Applejack. Granted, part of that was simply an excuse to not look at the lavender mare sitting on the wooden bench all by herself, but Rarity couldn’t deny that Fluttershy was mesmerizing on her own merits. Soon enough though, it was Rarity’s turn to speak with Fluttershy, and she practically couldn’t wait. “Hey, you,” Fluttershy whispered as she walked up to Rarity, her finger delicately tracing Rarity’s chest. “I hope my girl doesn’t give you any trouble while you’re out together.” “And I hope you won’t miss me too much while I’m gone,” Rarity responded with a smirk and gave Fluttershy a kiss on her fingers, Fluttershy grinning ear to ear with a sweet giggle. “I’ll try not to,” Fluttershy sighed, her fingers intermingling with Rarity’s. And while Rarity would have loved to just playfully flirt with Fluttershy until the train arrived, there was a sinking feeling in Rarity’s chest that struck her when she instinctively looked down the tracks to check for the train. It wasn’t in sight yet. But there was something Rarity needed to do before it was. “Will you excuse me for a moment, darling?” Rarity said to Fluttershy, clinging to her hand like a life-preserver. “Of course, dear,” Fluttershy nodded with an understanding smile, and as she slowly let her fingers slip from Rarity’s grasp, it was like the skin on Rarity’s own hand was being stripped away. Fluttershy walked away, rejoining the rest of the group on the other side of the station as they all chatted away waiting for the train. All except one, who still sat quietly by herself on the bench. “Is this seat taken?” Rarity asked Twilight Sparkle, her heart thundering in her chest like it was but a single beat away from bursting. Twilight looked up at Rarity; eyes wide, ears clamping against her skull like she was caught in a hunter’s sights. “N-no, it isn’t,” she said, her voice dripping with nerves as her brow dripped with cold sweat. Rarity sat down silently. She could feel the tension in Twilight’s body— and her own, for that matter— like it was a palpable smog in the air, and she wished there were some easy way to diffuse it, but all Rarity could think to say was the truth, and she had no way to know if that would make things better or worse. “There’s so much that I wish to say to you,” Rarity said, her eyes refusing to meet Twilight’s. “So much I wish to apologize for.” “I never asked you for an apology,” Twilight said, her tone distant like a whisper on the winter night’s air. “I never even thought to ask for one.” “Twilight, the way I treated you was—” Rarity stammered. She wasn’t sure which was harder to grapple with, her guilt over the way she treated Twilight, or Twilight’s audacity not to hold it against her. “I was so cruel to you. I almost killed you, for heaven’s sake!” “And I won’t pretend that I don’t have some hurt feelings,” Twilight said, “but in that situation, what else could you have done? You almost killed me. It didn’t have to be almost, but you chose to stay your blade.” “Because— I—” Rarity bit her lip. She didn’t think that small amount of charity was worth any kind of commendation. “I never stopped loving you, Rarity,” Twilight sighed, and those words got Rarity’s attention enough to truly look upon Twilight for the first time in what felt like a century, and good lord was she still so beautiful. “I have a lot of stuff I wanna apologize for too, all the secrets and lying and whatnot—” “Darling, how could you have possibly told me the truth in the position you were in?” Rarity interjected, galled that Twilight would be feeling guilt in this situation. “Can you really pretend that you don’t have hurt feelings about it though?” Twilight’s eyes glanced toward Rarity for only a second, but it was enough to give her pause. “Honestly,” Rarity sighed and dug her nails into her knees, “I hadn't really thought about it. My head’s been swimming with so much, so many other people’s thoughts, I don’t think I’ve really taken the time to process how I feel, about any of this.” “How do you feel?” Twilight asked. “I miss you,” Rarity said immediately, turning to look Twilight in the eye as tears stung her. “I miss you too,” Twilight gave a shaky smile as her own tears began to fall down her face. Rarity couldn’t help herself; she put her thumb on Twilight’s cheek to wipe them away, and Twilight leaned into Rarity’s hand and purred. The roar of the train approaching was like an explosion of shattered glass in Rarity’s brain, yanking her from what she didn’t realize she had been waiting for this whole time, and it was painful to think that she now had to stand up and tear herself away from Twilight Sparkle. “That’s me,” Rarity said sadly, Twilight opening her eyes and smiling at her, still content to lean into Rarity’s hand. “It is,” Twilight took Rarity’s hand in hers and took a deep breath. “Can I send you a letter tonight?” “Wh-what?” Rarity blinked, taken aback by that request. Not that she minded it of course. “Wh— y-yes, of course! But why do you ask?” “So, I’ve known that you smoothed things over with Fluttershy ever since it happened last week,” Twilight hummed, and Rarity’s cheeks burned red with shame for what must have been the hundredth time today. “I know you’ve been avoiding me in that time too, and I figured it’s cuz you don’t know what to say?” “That’s why I wanted to take the time to talk to you now,” Rarity said, placing her hand on Twilight’s shoulder and gripping her tightly like she would disappear if Rarity let her go, “before—” the piercing sound of the train whistle interrupted Rarity at the perfect time, Rarity shutting her eyes tightly in a pained wince. “If I take the time to write a letter,” Twilight said, “and you take the time to read it over before you talk to me again, that might make sorting through our feelings easier for both of us.” “That sounds perfect to me, Twilight,” Rarity sighed and bowed her head ever so slightly, Twilight following suit until the pair’s horns ever so briefly touched. “Thank you.” “Thank you, Rarity,” Twilight said with a soft smile, “for talking to me.” “The last thing I deserve is your praise, my dear,” Rarity said. “Maybe,” Twilight giggled and did that smug grin she did when she was oh so sure she had something clever to say, and Rarity hadn't realized until she saw it how desperately she had missed it. “But it isn’t for you to decide who I praise.” “Well then consider me flattered,” Rarity gave a soft laugh as she stood to her hooves. “I will talk to you when I return.” “I’m looking forward to it,” Twilight said with a gentle smile. “So am I,” Rarity smiled back before she turned away and headed for the train station. “Proud of ya, hon,” Applejack whispered as Rarity walked by, Applejack slapping her on the shoulder. “Took you long enough,” Rainbow chuckled. Fluttershy offered a supportive smile, and Spike was beaming, with tears glistening in his eyes. Rarity flashed a gleaming smile back at him, and at the rest of her friends. And as she stepped onto the train, she gave one last look at Twilight Sparkle, ever so beautiful as always, and she waved to her. Twilight waved back, with a bright and wonderful smile on her face. Rarity had been so certain that things could never go back to normal after what had happened between her and Twilight, but now she was starting to wonder… perhaps ‘normal’ wasn’t good enough anyway. Maybe they could have something even better.