//------------------------------// // Catharsis // Story: Proximity // by paperhearts //------------------------------// Hey. So I found this dumb old diary in the stash beneath my pillow. Well, I guess Ocellus found it really. I love love her and all, but by Firestorm's wrath she can be so fussy! So what if I've got 'half of the school' (as if, I'm not that greedy) under there? Have you tried sleeping on a pony pillow? It's like being eaten alive by a hug. So I put a few things under there to keep it nice and hard and pointy—you know, some gems and stuff, the pot Ocellus made in ceramics class that I totally didn't break and totally didn't hide. Oh, and Thistledown's Spear of Temperance, and that weird lock of Star Swirl the Bearded's mane that Headmare Twilight keeps in her desk for some reason. Probably some other stuff too, I guess. Point is, Ocellus said she couldn't get comfortable, so I had to take it all out. And now I can't get comfortable while she's snoring like a whelp. Are you supposed to have to give so much in a relationship? This feels like a pretty epic sacrifice. But yeah, I found this diary. Didn't Counsellor Glimmer give us these at the start of the year? Well, whatever. Mine was empty, of course. I have way too many things to do without having to write down my thoughts and feelings, or whatever sappy felsic crap we were supposed to be doing with it. But here I am, huh. So I thought I'd write about Ocellus This is stupid. Ocellus is stupid. Huh, I even feel bad when I write it. Even when it's not true. Anyway, I'm in our dorm room and I'm bored. Ocellus is asleep in my bed, on my crappy soft death pillow, and I don't want to leave her on her own. She kinda had a rough day at school. I mean, a rough day for her is still a better day than most of us can manage, but still. It's Ocellus. She's totally lame at dealing with things like bad grades or not being able to work out some theorem the first time of asking. And I guess she just had too many of those little things today. Enough fractures will wreck a magma chamber, after all. Huh. This is easier than I thought. Whatever. Ocellus is fine, though. She's got this awesome-cool new way of dealing with the hard days. And it kinda makes me feel bad because I like watching her dealing with them. Does that mean I like it when she has hard days? I do kinda look forward to them. I'm a good dragon. Does that make me a bad girlfriend? Whatever. I think. Maybe I could speak to Counsellor Glimmer about this. Beats writing dumb stuff down in this thing anyway. I mean, how is this even supposed to help? Not like it can talk back or give me answers or anything. So yeah. Ocellus rocks out when she's had a bad day. It's probably the coolest thing I've ever seen. You can hear she's had a bad day first. On the way back to the dorms, I mean. She always gets her loudest records out—Tartarus Apocalypse are her favourite band at the moment—and she just stays in our dorm room screaming along and moshin' about the place. And wow, she can really scream. Today I just watched her for I don't know how long. Uh, it was a while though. It made me want to laugh when she was singing to herself in the mirror, and when she knocked my lamp off the side table and didn't even stop when it smashed... I think I love her. I mean I think I really love her. I don't even mind saying it anymore either, and it's funny, but I totally don't dislike the way my heart bounces around when I say it. I love you, Ocellus. Weird. I left her to it in the end. I kinda wanted to join in, but I think if somebeast tried to steal away my time alone I'd be pretty pissed. At least, I think that's why I did. I dunno. I get this lousy feeling in my chest when I think about it—like, what if she says I can't? It's not that I'm scared of the answer or anything. Okay, maybe that bothers me a little. Anyway, I left her to it, and I came back when she had finished. Ocellus always gets tired pretty quickly, and I kinda want to be the one to find her like that. It's nice alright nice to look after her and to make sure she's all settled and resting, you know? She's all ragged and glowing and, yeah, all that felsic crap. Sometimes it's fun doing something a little different, I guess. Ocellus has her rocking out, and I get to play whelpmaiden. I'd probably punch you if you said it to my face, but honestly, once in a while actually isn't that bad. Okay, diary. I'm gonna go and make her something nice and warm to drink for when she wakes up. Maybe next time I'll try and be brave enough join in and show her how to really rock out. And then maybe I'll tell you how it goes. I guess you aren't that bad after all. Counsellor Glimmer is such a smug pony.