Twilight Sparkle stared out her window, chin resting on a tightly clenched fist. A million thoughts raced through her head. A million thoughts that, usually, she would have been able to neatly arrange and organize. Only today was anything but usual.
She was going home.
It was winter break, her last one before graduating college. Then she would be taking an official leap into her adult life, she liked to think. The idea of leaving school came easy to her; she could think of no material attachments she had to college life, unlike many people she could name. Yes, she was ready to move on and begin living the life she had always wanted, the life that she had planned down to a T. Twilight thought she had already begun living that life five years ago, when she graduated high school and left town immediately without a word to anyone. She remembered the feeling of not being able to get away fast enough. From her parents, her classmates, her bullies, her so-called friends.
Her first night on her own was hard. The nerd had left with nothing but a hastily-packed bag, what little savings she had, and her well-used car that she prayed would make it to where she wanted to go. Unwilling to splurge on something as frivolous as a hotel room, she had attempted to sleep in that car in several different parking lots, but had been inevitably chased off by gruff police officers, one even threatening to arrest her for trespassing. Things quickly deescalated from there. For six months, Twilight lived out of her car, went hungry most days, ended up selling her phone and her car’s radio and even her shoes just to survive. She knew she had hit rockbottom, but she was not going back.
Three years and much struggle and success later, it was a surprise, albeit not an unwelcome one, when Shining Armor showed up at her dorm room. Her big brother had been the only thing that nearly held Twilight back from leaving in the first place. Despite him being the favorite child and her parent’s prodigy, the nerd loved her brother dearly. He was there for her when she needed him. He seemed to be her personal shoulder to cry on, therapist, and motivational speaker in one. Sometimes, though, the darker side of herself would say that he should be an enemy hated passionately, because he was a reason for her problems. Truly she knew that Shining Armor was an innocent, that he was put in his position unwillingly.
But he had found her after all that time. He claimed that he had never stopped looking for her since the day she disappeared. He had utilized the connections he had made in his career to do everything in his power to track her down. He wanted her to come home. She had made him swear, solemnly swear, that he would not tell their parents where she was. Then for the next two years, while Twilight worked on finishing up her schooling, Shining would visit her often, enjoying having his baby sister back in his life, but he never stopped asking her to come home. It wasn’t until the night he broke down in tears, on his knees near hysteria, that Twilight was finally pushed to return.
Their father was dying.
Now she sat in the passenger seat of Shining’s car, full of apprehension for the coming days. Her brother, meanwhile, noisily hit his palms against the steering wheel to the beat of the music playing, also loudly whispering along to the lyrics. Twilight knew that singing was a comfort tactic of his, but by God, was it annoying the hell out of her right then. She roughly brought her hand down on the seat between them.
“Please. Stop.”
He immediately did so, eyeing his sister warily. She was as touchy as ever.
“Look, I know this doesn’t settle with you. But Dad wants to see you.”
Twilight laughed humorlessly. “He wants to see me. Good one, Shining.”
“Listen, he really -“
“No, you listen!” She turned on him abruptly, eyes piercing. “Night Light wants nothing to do with me. Less than nothing! You might not remember, being daddy’s little prince and all that, but you and I had vastly different childhoods.”
A heavy silence enveloped them. Shining Armor’s face didn’t hold the expression of hurt that was expected, just sorrow at Twilight’s words. When he finally spoke after long minutes, his voice was considerably lower.
“You’re right. I’m not sure that I can even recall what went on behind closed doors,” He looked over at her. “I’m sorry. You can… you can talk to me if you need to, Twiley.”
Twilight fidgeted in her seat, feeling guilty at having dragged Shining into her own issues. She let out a defeated sigh.
“There’s nothing to talk about, it’s the past. I’m only here because I don’t want you going through this alone. I couldn’t care less about seeing Night Light.”
Shining scrunched his nose, uncomfortable. “You don’t call him dad anymore?”
“Why should I when he never was one?”
……
Several more hours of driving passed, the somber mood having lifted considerably during that time, until they finally passed the city’s welcome sign and Twilight felt her whole body clench. This was the moment she would return to hell. Her eyes roamed over the buildings as they passed down the main street, her brain involuntarily recalling memories that she thought she had finally forgotten. However, she did smile smally at one sight.
“Donut Joe’s is still open?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah, of course.” Shining answered.
That coffee shop had been the nerd’s only solace. She would steal away there on the toughest days just to sit at a table and breathe in the rich scents of the place. She never talked much to Donut Joe, but he had a comforting presence and seemed to know Twilight used his shop as an escape from something. He always gave her her space, and often, her order on the house.
Twilight was pulled from her short reverie by Shining Armor’s excited voice. She didn’t catch what he had said, but she saw that they were moving to pull up next to an oncoming car whose driver was animatedly waving a hand out the window. Shining grinned as he rolled down his own window. To Twilight’s annoyance, he pulled the car to a stop at an angle where his husky figure blocked her view of the other driver.
“Hey, my dude!” A female voice rasped.
“Hey, buuuuddy,” Shining drawled. “What are you doing, cruising for babes?”
Twilight bit her cheek and grimaced, suddenly feeling like an intruding third wheel. It went unnoticed by her brother.
“Not today,” The voice laughed. “Picking up supplies for Gaffer’s get together. You still on for that? I think it’ll help take your mind off of things for awhile.”
“Yup, I’ll be there. You, uh, know if Cadence is going…?” He asked sheepishly.
Twilight felt a little surprised that her old baby sitter still lived here. Cadence seemed to have had big things ahead of her. She wasn’t surprised, however, to find that Shining was still pining for her.
“Shining, I’m gonna get her first and we all know that.” The driver said, a joking tone to her voice.
“Uh, no. Cadence is straight and wants my D. We all know that.”
Twilight coughed loudly, almost embarrassed to be hearing this conversation. It served to remind Shining Armor of her presence. He glanced over to her briefly then back to his friend.
“Oh hey, you remember my sister, Twilight Sparkle?”
Shining moved back to finally reveal the driver. Twilight took her in and quickly recalled her face but not her name. The girl had long, wavy red and golden hair covered by a maroon beanie. Her arm propped out the window was clad in the sleeve of a black and orange leather jacket. A toothpick was resting in the corner of her - Twilight noticed immediately - attractive grin. She lowered her sunglasses to peer over the top with gleaming turquoise eyes that made Twilight shudder involuntarily.
“Oh hell yeah I do! Valedictorian of our graduating class! You’re back in town? What’s up? ”
Twilight stumbled mentally; this girl remembered her? It was probably only because she had been valedictorian, like she mentioned.
“Uh, not much. Just here to see off my dying dad and then I’m out of here.”
“Twilight!” Shining reprimanded.
The driver’s smile quickly dropped away and she chewed her toothpick awkwardly for several seconds before cocking her head dumbly.
“Cool. Okay. I’ll see you later.”
With that, the girl continued on her own way. Shining Armor shot his sister a nasty look.
“Why would you say that?”
“She asked what was up.” Twilight answered, spreading her hands in a dismissive manner. “Who was that, anyway?”
“Uh, Sunset Shimmer?” He said, as if she should know. “She was in your grade. You graduated with her.”
Hearing Sunset’s name did suddenly bring recollections to the forefront of her mind. The popular redheaded girl that the guys and girls alike swooned over. She sported shorter, shoulder-length hair then, almost always in a ponytail. Her smile was still just as attractive. She had been the co-captain of the girls’ soccer team alongside Twilight’s most persistent bully, Rainbow Dash, a face she wished she could forget but felt she never would. But she also remembered one other thing.
“She was in your short-lived band. She played guitar, right?” Twilight asked slowly.
“Yes!” Shining smacked the steering wheel and laughed brightly as he remembered. “She rocked! I mean, she still rocks, she plays in an awesome indie band now. Sort of a punk rock deal. They’ve actually made a bit of a name for themselves.”
He reached over to pull a CD case out of the car’s console. With a flourishing wave of his arm, he presented it to Twilight.
“Mayhaps even you’ve heard of them, my dear geeky sister. Does Knightback ring a bell?”
The nerd’s eyebrows raised as she accepted the case. Surprisingly, she actually had heard of the band, thanks to her roommate at school. Her eyes flicked over the cover of the album and easily found Sunset’s place in the picture. Despite herself, Twilight’s heart quickened. The redhead was pressed back to back against one of her bandmates - the bassist, judging from the instrument she held - head tilted forward, with all of her hair pushed to one side of her face, dangling down her chest in gorgeous waves. Her eyes were piercing, glaring out from beneath eyelids darkened heavily with black makeup. It took Twilight several moments to tear her own eyes away from the stare to continue on. Sunset’s tan shoulders were bare, sticking out from the fabric of a very torn shirt that also exposed her midriff. Twilight wished to see more of the plane of that stomach, but unfortunately, it was obscured by the bright yellow guitar the girl held. Dark skinny jeans that were just as ripped covered her legs, down into the tops of thick black boots. The nerd noted several tattoos across Sunset’s arms, and one on her hip partially peeking out from the top of her jeans.
She’s fucking flawless.
Twilight blinked several times. She had never been so taken just by someone’s photo. She glanced over the rest of the girls on the album cover, but felt nothing, not even from the very revealing woman in the middle, obviously the lead singer. This wasn’t good. She couldn’t afford to be crushing right now.
Shining Armor’s heavy hand on her shoulder startled her, and she fumbled the CD case from her hands.
“Did you hear me? We’re here.”
Her brother looked at her with worried eyes, but she gave him a reassuring smile.
“I promise I won’t cause a scene. I do have some self control, Shining.”
He nodded before opening his door and stepping out of the car. Twilight, however, the door handle gripped in her hand, halted. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth, in an attempt to relax. In several minutes, she would be facing her parents after having not spoken to them in five years. She tried to brace herself for the assured outbursts (emphasis on the plural, she noted) that were to come. Shining Armor hadn’t announced that she was coming, so they wouldn’t have had time to think of what to say. This was going to be spontaneous.
She sighed deeply before finally exiting the car. She took in the house in front of her. It hadn’t changed at all, not that she had expected it to. It was still white, it was still dull, and it was still the location of the worst part of her life. She followed Shining up the stairs to the door, which he unlocked, and inside. It was dim; all the curtains were drawn, as usual. Twilight swallowed roughly when she saw that everything she looked at was still the same, the very same. Her mind flashed with memories at each thing she looked at, overwhelming her until she thought she may faint.
She clenched her fists, nails biting into the skin, bringing her back to herself. No, she wasn’t the same person she had been then. She was strong now, and she could handle this reunion.
“Hey, Ma?” Shining Armor called. “You home?”
“Shining, is that you? Oh, I’m so glad you’re back.”
It was odd hearing her mother’s voice again. Truthfully, Twilight had remembered it less and less over the years, until the sound of it had faded. She wasn’t surprised though; after all, it was typical to forget the sound of a person’s voice after not hearing it.
Seeing her, though, as she rounded the corner, was quite different. Her mother seemed to have aged considerably since she had last seen her. Twilight Velvet had always been a small woman, both physically and in personality. Somehow she seemed smaller now. Crow’s feet marked her tired blue eyes, and visible lines creased her mouth. Having always had white hair with beautifully contrasting shocks of lavender, it didn’t show any signs of her aging, though Twilight noted it was styled in a simple, hasty messy bun. She wore a plain long-sleeved shirt and frumpy sweatpants. Twilight recalled her mother always being an immaculate woman, dressed to impressed and never with a single hair out of place. Seeing her this way was… unsettling, Twilight thought.
Velvet was in the midst of telling her son about the lunch she had just put away in the kitchen but could happily make him something if he’d like when she entered the room. Her words trailed away immediately as she spotted her daughter standing there, as well.
“Mom.” Twilight said in monotone.
Velvet stared in silence for several more seconds, her mouth opening and closing with no words, eyes blinking in disbelief. Then she walked quickly over to Twilight and enveloped her tightly in her arms before breaking down in quiet sobs. The nerd stiffened. Twilight was nearly supernatural with the accuracy of her foresight. She had always been able to predict almost all outcomes by analyzing the details of situations. Shining hadn’t liked to watch movies with her growing up because she would always spoil the endings.
But this. She hadn’t predicted this.
“M-Mom….” Twilight stuttered, and tried to slide out of the embrace.
The woman pulled back and cupped Twilight’s face, brushing her thumbs across her cheeks.
“Twilight,” She sobbed out, fresh tears spilling from her eyes. “You’re here. I was… this is… I never thought I would see you again.”
Velvet stepped back to arm’s length to fully take in her daughter, though she kept her hands clenched firmly on her shoulders. She smiled through her tears.
“Oh, you’ve grown. You’re so beautiful. It’s good to hear your voice again. Oh God, Twilight, I’ve missed you so much.”
Velvet hugged her again, crying into her shoulder. Twilight looked towards her brother, who wore a lopsided smile and had tears of his own in his eyes. He nodded encouragingly at her. But before she could react to her mother, Velvet pulled away again.
“I’m so sorry.”
Twilight’s eyes shot back to her at those words.
“I’m so, so sorry. I know I wasn’t a good mother to you, for you. I hurt you many times, and I wasn’t there for you. I couldn’t see the ways you suffered,” She ran her fingers along a lock of Twilight’s hair. “I was a selfish person, I’m sure I still am. I pushed you to leave and never look back. I-I want your forgiveness, Twilight, and I want a chance to repair things. I don’t know if it’s possible anymore, but….”
Twilight waited for her to continue, but it seemed that was all there would be. She fought to urge to laugh; Velvet’s words were true, she was still a selfish person. Asking so straightforwardly for forgiveness after she had turned a blind eye to the abuse of her daughter for eighteen years. After she had participated in some of that abuse. Twilight detangled herself from Velvet’s arms and distanced herself appropriately. She smiled lightly at her mother.
“I have forgiven you.”
Velvet seemed to sag in relief, but then Twilight continued, harsher.
“But I didn’t do it for you. I did it for myself, on my journey to heal from my past. I’ve made myself stronger, I’m not your doormat to be stepped on anymore. If I were as miserable a person as you, I would say you don’t deserve anyone’s forgiveness.”
Velvet’s hands folded against her chest, and she cast her eyes down in silent despair.
“There’s no second chance for you to try to be my mother so you can feel good about yourself.”
With her final thought on the subject spoken, Twilight brushed passed Velvet and entered the living room, placing her hands on her hips. She didn’t yet allow herself a moment to process what had happened and turned back.
“Where’s Night Light? I promised Shining I would see him.”
Velvet attempted to compose herself, tucking extra hair behind her ear and absently brushing her shirt. She directed her next words towards Shining Armor.
“Actually, your father is in the hospital now. He was admitted last evening because the doctors thought it would be best.”
She left the room then without a glance in Twilight’s direction. Shining rubbed his arm, obviously uncomfortable with the prevalent tension. She knew he didn’t want things turning out this way, but it was not up to him.
“So… are we going to the hospital?” He asked quietly.
The nerd was glad she wouldn’t have to face her father so soon after the confrontation with her mother. It would be worse with him; he was an imposing presence and the worst of her abusers. She may need to prepare herself before seeing him, even if he would be bedridden in a hospital.
“No,” She shook her head. “I-I’m not ready right now.”
Shining just nodded, unsure what he should say after what he had witnessed between his mother and sister. Hesitantly, he sidled over to her and briefly hugged her.
“I’m sorry about that, Twiley. I… I wish things could be different for you. But you’re right, I can’t understand it. I’m still here for you, though.”
“I get it, Shining. Just go check on her, I know you’re wanting to. It won’t hurt me.”
He looked at her a moment more, sadness deep in his eyes, before he moved to follow after Velvet. Twilight spoke up once more, stopping him.
“And by the way, I’m going with you tonight to that party Sunset Shimmer mentioned. I can’t stay here.”